Nature’s Brane

The new brane thin shell model of creation of the universe, derived from earlier ekpyrotic or pre-expansive models, describes a bounce or cyclic recreation to account for the repulsive cosmological constant measuring several magnitudes smaller than predicted by Big Bang Theory. A bicyclist’s reading of this might suggest that frequent trips by bike for recreation avoid the blues and winter's deep emptiness, and there’s a big fat universe of undiscovered facts yet to be revealed by someone smarter than Labann.

Looking for cheer? Cupboard is bare. Groundhog was wrong; winter’s not complete. Bikes don’t belong with snow on your street. Not getting in miles, no motives for smiles. Burning gasoline to blow snow. Carbon dioxide’s got nowhere to go. Target methane, ranchers complain. Comment on snizzling weather, warnings of disasters come from scientists together, while leaders deny facts, hell bent for leather. Sends a message: Do whatever you like. Labann will keep trying to ride his bike.

Gave up on cataloging emerging bicycling culture when it became all too easy to repeat self, and far too difficult to divulge uniquely interesting examples, though any search engine will show an arbitrary grouping of art forms, articles, books, commercials, crafts, films, lyrics, songs all somehow related to bicycling, usually when they want to promote healthy living and smart choices, although seldom do so themselves.

Adventure Cycling’s CycleMiles collected a bunch of representative illustrations in Pinterest. Design Museum of Chicago just closed an exhibition called Keep Moving. Harks back to Chicago Museum of Science and Industry’s 2013 exhibition. New York Times has an index of recent articles to read. Amazon likewise indexes latest 92 bike books for sale. Etsy points to a burgeoning craft market; time was you’d be hard pressed to find any such tchotchke for self promotional gift giving and subsequent dust collecting. Already have enough tea mugs and towels to last a lifetime. Better might be a 6-pack of Belgian ale small brewed with bicycling as an inspiration, something thirsty athletes might at least get down with gusto, maybe target heartbroken brain cells. Nature abhors a vacuum, and these few links hardly peek over edge of bicycling culture's vast abyss.

Depressing enough being stuck indoors, Oscar Boyson’s short public service announcement Ride a Bike (2018), further twists the knife and worsens the wound. But given a day above 30°F without sheets of ice and shoals of sand everywhere, it would be perfectly inspirational. Climate change means a lot more rain as superior nature scrubs itself clean from inferior human ingenuity. A sixth extinction of beneficial insects will lead to rise in deadly fungi and viruses and a seventh extinction of polluting technologists and their doomed species. Forecasts promise springlike conditions in coming weeks as long as tipping point hasn’t already been passed.

Mokska (2018, Francesca Weikert, dir.) documents three women who are cycling pioneers in Nepal for MTB racing across Asia. The title, also vimoksha in Hindu, refers to an enlightened freedom from the cycle of agony, death and rebirth. Nishma, Roja, and Usha repurpose it to mean freedom from patriarchal domination, exploitation, and human trafficking. Wow! Freedom machine indeed! Imagine what might occur if money was unnecessary, powerlust deemed insane, and terminal scenario stopped.

Amanda Palmer, Berlin, Theatre is Evil (2012). Pianist Palmer, former founder of Dresden Dolls, and her Grand Theft Orchestra plinked out this dreary 7 minute dirge, “Your bicycle's chained to the fence outside. There’s plenty of offers, but you won't ride. How you pedal in those is a miracle, a miracle. And you laugh at yourself as you speed through the red lights. Oh, Berlin, nobody knows where you've been... It's hard to work on an assembly line of broken hearts. Not supposed to fix them, only strip and sell the parts.”

Honey Brothers, Green and Gold, Time Flies Like a Peach (2012): “Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night shall keep. No fear, no lust, no sand, no tears shall take your trace. No hate, no wind, no irony shall dim you dull. Your shine, green and gold bicycle.”

Hymner, Bicycle, (Finnish single, 2018) Tenacity Records, pop tune that came out about a year ago.

Sia, Riding On My Bike, (c. 2005), “I’m riding on my bike. I'm going round the block. No, I can't cross the road. I'm not allowed to do that... My tummy's rumbling. My mama's selling tickets to broccoli and fish sticks. I’m hungry.” As a Grammy nominated pop star, this old nursery rhyme fades into background, but emulators including Australian Kina Grannis won’t let public forget.

Toby Keith, Mama Come Quick, Toby Keith (1993) is a jejune country western ballad that somehow slipped through the cracks. “I straddled my bicycle when I was ten years old... there’s a creek bed six feet wide. If you peddle fast enough you can make the other side, Mama come quick, I think I fell and hurt myself again... ’Cause nothing heals as much as your lovin' touch.” Sounds so familiar, but couldn't find it previously mentioned. Once you've diligently covered it all, something will always appear out of nowhere, demand attention, and prove you wrong.