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Sunday, March 29, 2020

Corona Interreign

Was really determined to bike into sunset, but extraordinary scenarios keep resurrecting reminders of bicycling’s ubiquity, especially within the great entertainment and huge escape of internet streamed, socially distanced movies, something to watch while quarantined in a pandemic.

Cycling sequences signal sensuality and smartness akin to how rustic foods surpass sophisticated cuisines. Yet prudes coin many phrases to shame bicycling scorchers and footsore jaywalkers, as if the violence of using poorly paved roads and sidewalks isn’t punishment enough for hammerkitten Dorises, mamil pathletes, manty-hose Freds, sick psycholists, spandex sportifs, and traffic salmon struggling against a one-way tide. Got to wonder whence derision comes, surely impatient motorists, since movies beatify bicyclists more than berate.

Holly Hunter uses herself on a bike to halt plane’s takeoff and profess undying love to firefighting pilot Richard Dreyfuss in sentimental fantasy Always (Steven Spielberg, dir., 1989). Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, or is it stupid tears for Dreyfuss’s ghost having to inspire his replacement to romance Hunter so she can move on with her life. Grab a tissue, if you can still find any.



Jodhi May (The Last of the Mohicans, Best Actress at Cannes Film Festival) gives Martin Freeman (The Hobbit, Golden Globe and Screen Actor’s Guild Awards) a lift on her bike to triumph over traffic in short Round About Five (Charles and Thomas Guard, dirs., 2005).

Metropia (Tarik Saleh, dir., 2009) has animated protagonist Roger biking empty streets in a post oil dystopia, even during downpours, to avoid taking subway, which he feels is somehow affecting his mind, only to find his beloved alternative has been smashed overnight. Turns out paranoids do have powerful and secret enemies. Daily soaps and subterranean systems are not to be trusted.

Low budget indie flick Bellflower was dangerously directed by and starred Evan Glodell, who anticipated apocalypse while wooing Jessie Wiseman. Glodell ditched bike once his flame throwing Buick Skylark labeled Medusa was ready for action.

Designing Healthy Communities (Dale Ball, Harry Wiland, dirs., 2012) documentary episode Retrofitting Suburbia reflects on how urban sprawl depends upon cars, which decrease self propulsion and increase health hazards. Doctors at Atlanta’s Center of Disease Control decried 70 pedestrian traffic deaths every year in this poorly designed city with a reputation as a soulless parking lot. So billions were invested for unprecedented improvement, its award winning BeltLine, focused on bicycling and walking access and public transportation, which remains open despite mayor’s general shutdown. When you can’t go anywhere else, parks appear popular destinations. Many Atlanteans have begun moving from burbs into urbs to cut commutes, following a national trend.

Within economic meltdown and futile future of The Zero Theorem (Terry Gilliam, dir., 2013) starring Christoph Waltz, meaninglessness cannot be proven mathematically, even though living freely and spontaneously is prohibited. Bicycling in particular is banned in the plaza, though bicyclists buzz by ban signs anyway. Being alive imposes its own undeniable logic.

Life’s blessings seem less than bountiful for heroine Julianne Cote in Quebecois indie film Tu dor Nicole (trans. “Wake up, Nicole”, Stéphane Lafleur, dir., 2014), as she makes her way by bike around Montreal suburbs into adult responsibilities.


Cupboard may be bare, but shopping might risk death. Enormous global problems help put delivery disruptions, empty shelves, and such inconveniences into perspective. An indie documentary reminds you that Every Three Seconds (Dan Karslake, 2014) someone on earth dies from poverty, the biggest killer in the second millennium AD, over a billion victims of starvation in last few hundred years alone. One billion humans barely survive on less than $2 per day. Individuals can make a difference despite distance. Seven year old Charlie Simpson raised £50,000 in one day for earthquake relief in Haiti by riding his bicycle a mere 5 miles, £250,000 overall.

Curious and nubile Dakota Johnson takes a bike ride between kinky trysts with Jamie Dornan in 50 Shades of Grey (Sam Taylor-Johnson, dir., 2015). Surprised she can abide a saddle after such spanking sessions with her millionaire boyfriend. Privilege struggles with restraint, though saltpeter doesn't deter libido except for its disgusting association with bat guano.

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