Riding Indurain

Critics are aware of psychogeography in David Hockney’s landscape paintings but don't notice his preoccupation with bicycling. Some of this synaesthetic painter’s earliest memories were of dad painting actual bikes in bright colors. ”I worked on a farm. I cycled around here for two summers. I used to cycle up to Scarborough, Whitby, a long way actually. You get to know it, and you know it’s hilly if you’re cycling. I was always attracted to it. I always thought it had a space. One of the thrills of landscape is that it’s a spatial experience.” Any cyclist instantly relates. Escapist rural rides reveal a series of vignettes and vistas each with its unique array of internalized influences.

David Hockney, Going up Garrowby Hill, 2000... so like scenes on Grand Tour of France you wouldn’t know that its inspiration was day tripping around East Riding, Yorkshire, England, probably with a ciggie dangling from his lip.

Scenery goes unnoticed while riding in the rain or sweating through heat waves. Due to global warming and oppressive weather, Labann missed typical June and July outings. Sun finally broke through thick clouds to tempt a metric century, something better than sharing insights in solitude, but too out of shape to attempt. Should be used to being deprived after 17 months of preemptive pandemic. At least got to watch drama of Mark Cavendish first tying then nearly beating Eddie Merckx’s record of 34 stage wins, short only by a wheel’s radius on final sprint. Phil Liggett branded him a Scorcher, a term that harks way back to George Rosey’s 1897 piano march, which until recently was never recorded as written, though US Naval Academy Band did an orchestral version.

Originated in 1903 as a way to promote automotive periodical sales, Le Tour de France persists as world’s most popular sporting event attended by tens of millions and watched on television by maybe a billion, despite scandals over blood doping, mechanical cheating, and outdated pretext. One might argue that its prize is too fiercely coveted, rules too unforgiving, and stamina demands too brutal. Living general classification winners constitute the most exclusive club in global sports, fewer than even football franchise owners, especially after arbitrarily disqualifying certain winners.

To honor commitments of hundreds of TdF participants, Sophia Deboick published a timely article that studied related songs. Earliest she cites were Frédo Gardoni, The Yellow Jersey [Le maillot jaune, 1936, not even Gardoni’s first, P'tit gars du tour (Marche officielle du Tour de France 1932)], and Edward ‘Monty’ Montauby, Ah! Here They Are! also from 1936, which describes a sideline view as race leaders approach. Had she simply consulted Wikipedia, she would have found Labann’s list with Perchicot, Les Tours de France (Chanson roulante) from a decade before, 1927, and other fascinating precedents.

Before WWII jaunty accordion tunes, sometimes called bal-musettes especially when accompanied by bellows bagpipes and horse bells, captured festive air of residents and tourists on Bastille Day holiday and July vacations partying and picnicking in bucolic backwaters. Nowadays, insurrectionists storming institutions goes down badly, while xenophobes want to bury World Best competitions, particularly Olympics. Musette is also what cyclists call their feed bag; long straps enable them to snatch while riding extended stages. Before germophobia and reliability emerged, roadside groves provided fireplaces to grill lunch while making repairs or resting your flivver. By 1960 songs had become increasingly irreverent and sarcastic and tended to single out challengers and victors.

While Deboick delightfully dissected some already listed, she directly disclosed 5 new ones, a number that forever symbolized balance, congratulations, cycling, freedom, friendship, gratitude, love, luck, perfection, and rescue:
Luis Mariano, Notre tour de France [French], Chante Le Pays Basque, La Voix De Son Maître, 1957.
Marcel Amont, il a le maillot jaune [French], aka He has the yellow jersey, il a le maillot jaune  EP, Polydor, 1960, describes race’s GC leaders through 1940, well ahead of Greg Lemond, Lance Armstrong, Miguel Indurain, or 2021’s two-peat winner Tadej Pogačar.

Jean-Louis Murat, Le champion espagnol, aka The Spanish Champion [for ace climber Federico Bahamontes], Grand lièvre, V2, 2011.
Dick Annegarn, Vélo vole [Dutch in French], Vélo Va, Tôt Ou Tard (2014).
Litku Klemetti, Tour de France [Finnish], single, Luova Records (2021).

Due to this discussion of cycling heroes lyrically lionized, expanded own song search. Incredibly and indirectly, found a full score more. Thought official list was almost comprehensive, especially among titles from previous centuries. “Complete” is a term used only by isolated idiots who ignore linguistics and locales.

André Verchuren, Vive Poulidor [for France's favorite underdog Raymond Poulidor], single, label unknown, 1968.

Guido Belcanto, Vive le Tour de France [Belgian], Een Zanger Moet Trachten Pijn Te Verzachten [compiliation, song origin year not determined], Cluster-Park, 2019, names a bunch of recent peloton riders, including Chris Froome, Marc Cavendish, and Nairo Quintana.

Fluminera, Vai Pirata [Italian, for Marco Pantani], Schiavo del Tempo EP, (label unknown), 2011. Better still, Guido Belcanto directly sang a love ballad to Marco, and Pantani joined in singing.

Marc "The Manx Missile" Cavendish got props in one music video with irrelevant tune Avenged Sevenfold, Hail to the King, Hail to the King, WMG, 2013. Marc’s ready to join famous C’s - Fausto “Il Campionissimo” Coppi and Mario “The Lion King” Cipollini - and legendary M’s - Eddy “The Cannibal” Merckx, Freddy “The Dominator” Maertens, and Francesco “The Sheriff” Moser. However, for Cavendish to catch Merckx in terms of songs, he'll have to inspire 2 dozen more.

Philippe d'Annevoy, J’aime bien Eddy Merckx, single, Weekend, circa 1972, boasts “On the four walls of my room, you can see yellow everywhere. It’s the harvest of the Tours de France that Eddy brought home.”

Touting a fellow from Flanders was Ronnie En De Pilchards, Freddy Maertens, Wereldkampioen, 7” single, Paprika Records, circa 1975, available on compilation Vlaamse Troeven Volume 209, Scorpion, 2020. While not an original song, a music video also surfaced based on Noël Couëdel’s biography Maertens le dynamiteur, 1977.

A pair appeared for Moser, who like Labann rode a De Rosa: Forza Francesco, televised live circa 1975, and Francesco Moser, both from unknown artists and sources.

Miguel Indurain, only Tour de France champion with 5 consecutive wins, active from 1986 to 1997, has no less than 3 albums/bands that share his name, and inspired several previously unnoticed songs. Spring Versus Indurain, Be My Star EP, Elephant Records, 1995, was named for a collaboration with Marc Collin of band Indurain, whose album Indurain, Barclay, 1993 doesn’t at all appear to celebrate cycling. On the other hand, eponymous album of indie band Indurain from Toulouse, France in 2012 contains 8 titles apparently inspired by Big Mig.

When they were still dating, Sheryl Crow wrote the title track of her album Wildflower, A&M, 2005, for boyfriend Lance Armstrong. Lyrics never mention cycling, but suggest spectator scenarios: “I was free until I heard the song you sang to me pulling me away from everything I knew to be with you... Every time you go, it hurts me so. I don't know why, when I know we're free, free to fly. Here we are, burning faster than the cursed star, falling back down to the Earth. I love you so it sometimes hurts. Closer still, you will find me waiting on the hill, waiting for you with my arms stretched open wide.” Easy to imagine Crow’s embrace after a TdF mountain stage that year, though in 2010 she’d rat out her “cursed star” to FBI for an immunity deal.

Jimi Blue, The King is Back, Sick Like That, Polydor, 2008, refers to Armstrong, too, who thrived upon a playlist including Jeff Buckley, Led Zeppelin, Ryan Adams, Rolling Stones, Wallflowers, and Wilco.

Future User, Mountain Lion, #SteroidsOrHeroin, AWOLNation, 2015 was prompted by Armstrong’s bad example and even samples Lance’s personal phone call to band member Tim Commerford, former Audioslave bassist, who sees outrage over PEDs as hypocritical given today’s drug culture. Chris Cornell might have added, “Take one link from this Misery Chain. Keep it to remind you... If I should fall from the top of the world to the depths below.” Big Pharma just signed a multi-billion dollar deal to avoid multiple suits over the multitude of opioid addictions to which they contributed.

Newly released, Victor Zupanc, Bicycle, Welcome to My World, self, 2021. "Fly like an eagle, thorugh time and space... the sun in my eye, I'm king of the road."

Back on Bike, Narain?

"If we don't have the right to breath and walk freely then we cannot talk of city's development. Freedom from all pollution ought to be seen as a matter of right,” said Director General Sunita Narain of New Delhi’s Centre for Science and Environment (CSE), a position she has held for 4 decades from which she earned listing among Time’s 100 Most Influential People and numerous international awards. A year before, this advocate of commuter bicycling, ecology regeneration, poverty reduction, and sustainable practices was mowed down by a motorist while pedaling to work, sustaining severe injuries. Name of Narain derives from Sanskit term nārāyaṇá, literally "eternal man”. Inundated with hesitancy and negativity, some percentage of cyclists will always become disillusioned and give up.

Despite Narain’s courageous return to cycling and persistent environmental warning, air pollution in India’s cities has now reached crisis levels. Global warming has also caused record heats and resultant droughts throughout America’s West. Can forest fires be far behind? Republican senators still only support one congressional bill calling for improving roads to burn fossil fuels faster. Their reckless greed and rigid reliance on gun and oil lobbies will doom mankind. Don't look to heroes for redemption.

Your basic humanity is denied if you can’t safely bike or walk alongside motor vehicles. Motorists have no exclusive right to roads, merely a regulated privilege; they must operate within rules, remediate pollution, and share with all other users. Since society largely overlooks this for sake of convenience and ease, those who travel sustainably get called jaywalkers, have been marginalized, often sacrificed, and sometimes shot.

Ben Passmore, Once More, With Feeling [excerpt panel], April 15th, 2021

Hypocrites who belittle decent choices and family values run NGOs that cover all sorts of lesser issues. One billion innocents have been massacred by motor vehicles since introduced. Between Juneteenth and July 4th humanity should be inspired to seek freedom from nation’s 3 biggest scourges: Cancers, car crashes, and cardiovascular diseases, all resulting from automotive and petrochemical devotion. Pandemic binge watching begat bogus shame phrase “quarantine fifteen”, though 61% of Americans do admit recent weight gain with 45% now overweight amidst twin epidemics of diabetes and obesity. Fat people should bike shamelessly, since they’d benefit most.

Ameliorative alternatives and transportation interaction will always be legitimate topics for discussion and expletives. Evidence abounds in art forms: Books, movies, poems, and songs that Labann continues to discover and highlight, not just someone’s unexamined top 10. Thousands of media examples have contributed to one of the biggest bike booms in history. Who now can call Bicycling Culture a non sequitur or oxymoron? It’s a way to address most of what ails mankind. Vive le velorution! Need B&C go on boring and cajoling readers with big words and compelling statements?

Antisocial teen bicyclist Dinky Bossetti (Winona Ryder) anxiously prepares to Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael (Jim Abrahams, dir., 1990) along with majority of Clyde, Ohio residents, who have planned a gala event. Adopted as an infant, she believes her birth parents are Denton Webb (Jeff Daniels) and title demimondaine Roxy, who as a teen abandoned a baby and town for national celebrity. Perennial Oscar nominee Thomas Newman wrote film’s score including one minute instrumental G on a Bike about school crush Gerald Howells (Thomas Wilson Brown), who also rides. Stinky Dinky expects mom to take her away, thereby finally savor acceptance. Instead she grows up after learning a cruel life lesson.

Contestants in Blainsworth Bike-a-Thon pedal right into Night of the Twisters (Timothy Bond, dir., 1996). Teen protagonist Danny Hatch (Devon Sawa) tacos his front wheel on final sprint, so loses race, but wins raffle for a brand new bike. Later he’s riding to protect community against a rash of Nebraska tornados.

Seeing his bicyclist cheerleader crush Madison (Nicole Badaan) being sexually propositioned by adult redneck hunters in a pickup truck, Percy (Adam Raque) creates a diversion and ditches them on his BMX. Unfortunately, deep in woods he takes a wrong turn into an endo and winds up unconscious. When he comes to, he meets a new friend, Bigfoot (Kevin Tenney, dir., 2009). Lots of pedaling later, Percy’s bike posse saves Bigfoot from hunters. This Family Channel feature had cost only one-fiftieth of Harry and the Hendersons (William Dear, dir., 1987), which also runs counter to allegedly ferocious Sasquatch behavior and undermines any cryptozoological assessment.

Exists (Eduardo Sánchez, dir., 2014) mimics Blair Witch filmography to tell horror story of five East Texas campers. Arriving at Uncle Bob’s remote cabin, they encounter evidence they are being stalked. Besieged by Bigfoot, who destroys their car, group hunkers down while Matt (Samuel Davis) bikes to where there’s cell reception to call Bob for help. Bad mistake. Despite shelter, technology and weapons, nobody survives mayhem.

Hin und weg (aka Tour de Force, Christian Zübert, dir., 2014), has sun setting on Hannes (Florian David Fitz). At onset of his circle’s annual bike tour he reveals it will be his last. ALS diagnosis gives him 6 months of physical participation before succumbing to neuromuscular incapacity. Shocked and tearful, they embark as planned on a wild adventure in Belgium, celebrating life as never before, realizing how precious life is.

Classic narrative is replaced with hypnotic images and trance beats in Polish drama Jak calkowicie zniknac (aka How to Disappear Completely, Przemyslaw Wojcieszek, dir., 2014). Two ladies, Gerda (Agnieszka Podsiadlik) and Little Bandit (Pheline Roggan) meet in Berlin’s underground, then drift seductively by bike, on foot, and riding subway through its night-scape. As Radiohead, whence title, said, “Melody is dead; rhythm is king.” Substitute “story” and “exploits”, and you get gist of director's intention.

Musíme se sejít (aka We Need to Meet, David Král, dir., 2016), follows gross misadventures of hapless Czech cycling foursome (one with teen son in tow), played by amateur actors (standup comedians), as they tour landscape outside Prague en route to Bambus Camp that they nostalgically recall from youth, long since closed. Critics weren’t amused by this “Dumber and Dumberest” low budget road trip.

Au Nom de la Terre (aka In The Name of the Land, Edouard Bergeon, dir., 2019) is based upon director’s own upbringing. After roaming Rocky Mountain ranches and seeing world a bit, Pierre Jarjeau (Guillaume Canet) returns to buy out family business west of Paris from his cruel, unforgiving father. His young family bikes through the bucolic Mayenne landscape like so many recreational day trippers and Tour de France dreamers. But reality of living off the land today is shocking. This film exposes bank loans, conservative bullying, corporate pressures, and tax brutality for suicidal desperation they impose on agricultural lifestyles. Rural isolationists don’t realize how much they’re cherished by those who rely on their contributions. But it’s not why aging champion Mark Cavendish, having arrived at nearby Pontivy dismissed from former team but given a chance by another, sat crying after his 31st TdF stage win, second only to Eddie Merckx’s 34. On final sprint in Stage 21, he'd miss breaking record by a wheel radius.

Just out on Disney+, new Pixar animated feature Luca (Enrico Casarosa, dir., 2021), follows mermen buddies Alberto (Jack Dylan Grazer) and Luca (Jacob Tremblay) onto beach of Italian coastline (Cinque Terre), where they assume human form (as long as kept dry) and befriend Giulia (Emma Berman), who introduces them to terrestrial thrills and watches Luca race down hills on her single speed bike. Daredevil duo also rigs up an abandoned Vespa into a BMX ramp jumper. Their chance to fulfill dreams and gain acceptance comes from winning a triathlon with Luca riding bike leg. This family fare is rated G with plenty of pathos and pesto.