Golden Volplane

When was it that getting a bicycle no longer reigned as the greatest gift a kid could get? This year marks 50 years, a golden jubilee, since a wide-eyed Labann found a brand new bicycle beside the Christmas tree with a bow and sticker unbelievably attached with his name, a forest green Raleigh replete with fenders, guard over chain, and pump on frame. Nothing would ever be the same. Until then only rode borrowed bikes and hand-me-downs. Couldn't wait until Spring. Rode for awhile farther and wider than deemed feasible, then began taking it apart to improve speed and learn how to make it work better. Led to a lifelong career in engineering, so scolding by dad wasn't really warranted. Abused the heck out of it as anyone who’s gotten anything for free would. Treated it like another chemistry set or scientific toy, something upon which to experiment. Wasn't until the self earned Captain America Schwinn that carefully maintaining began to register. Common 3-speeds seldom got stolen, but you couldn’t leave 10-speeds unattended. Chain necklaces wore heavily on shoulders for what little they did to deter theft.

Streets back then were lined with trees that formed foliage tunnels. Leaf/leaves, loaf/loaves, sheaf/sheaves: funny how some words form irregular plurals, preserve mispronunciations, and retain vestiges from other languages. Come fall, maples down a line made for a golden tube, yellow above and below shaded in slanted rays, for arm-spread daredevils to dive into, rather an aeronautical volplane rapidly descending, exploring how papery leaves parted like frothy seas upon a macadam bed. On side streets back then few cars were around, off elsewhere or parked in garages, to impede curious kids on bikes. However, a block down was US1 with frequent spurts of cars and trucks, so you actually had to look both ways to cross. Flip calendars 50 years, cars race through 4-way stops at every back road intersection, while youth stay indoors playing video games.

You should honor any commitment to a nation by how well its policies treat golden agers, impressionable youth, and vulnerable citizens. Surely something can be done to ensure fairness, harvest experience, and provide opportunities? Fitzgerald lamented, “There are no second acts in American lives.” Nobel Prize winner Peter Higgs, whose surname precedes the elemental boson, said he'd never be offered a position in these days of academic productivity. They only kept him on at the University of Edinburgh because his theories might be proven right, which CERN scientists recently confirmed, though he voluntarily retired before the 20th Century closed. Even laureates feel like vestiges that hung on so long nobody knows what they mean or why they exist. Meanwhile, paint fades and flakes on a girl's pink bike ridden into destiny on a jejune mural. With no jobs for a new generation, are there even first acts in America anymore?

There is no requirement to read books or newspapers to know the truth in current events. In fact, all media does is feed you countless lies. You need to conduct your own research, just do things, so you know how things are supposed to be done. Only then you can comment with authority. Too bad your hours on earth are so few you can't know much. Worse, you're forced to act and decide on false information and scant input. Not much point giving advice. It will be misapplied, probably fail, then reap retribution instead of thanks. Anyway, all can be distilled to, “Do it yourself or do without.” Anything else will anger some, disrespect those who are acutely dependent, and get ignored by majority.

If you hold others to high standards you must act exemplary yourself. Recriminations evoke anger, especially when you're the victim. Saying, "You didn't fight hard enough," lets abusers get off scot-free. Identifying where transactions went wrong should be a step in improving next, if ever there's another chance. What's ideal is to glide headlong into damaged societies and reap lessons of their being mistreated and mistreating others. Thereby, social photo-essayist Sebastiao Salgardo and you are simply exempt. But that's not what typically happens. You're greeted with suspicion, often attacked without provocation by the Salt of the Earth. Takes tremendous courage to care, which is one reason why what's really going on is so seldom reported.

Wearing Elastane

Suit up in what? Buying bike specific apparel has always been hit-or-miss. With a wide range in fit and performance from which to choose, brand names mean little. Can only point to what features should be avoided or sought. Obviously, nothing should bunch up or fit badly; crotch should be gusseted and seams well sewn. Ankles and wrists need not be squeezed. Light weight isn't the sole criterion.

Bibs & Shorts: Swear by Pearl Izumi’s blue pad Attack shorts but totally reject their yellow pad tights. Don’t prefer a certain number of panels, though fewer might mean less sewing later. Bibs and skin suits don’t breathe as well but stay in place better, just another compromise that forces your decision. Have nothing but praise for Castelli’s winter bibs used for a dozen seasons with its broad shoulder straps and cold stopping neoprene panels, but dislike their tech knicker for below knee strangulation, though both of their flat red seat pads are very comfortable. They don’t make either anymore; designs come and go without improvement, irritatingly so when you’re trying to replace. Have been known to resew seams just to improve fit; makers seem to target rail thin stereotypes rather than real shapes bodies exhibit. Often combine commonplace tights with company named bibs or skin suits when too cool for shorts alone. Wear padded shorts beneath body tights without pads for an extra level of warmth.

Gloves: Cannondale’s at least have generous velcro at wrists, whereas several others scrimp leaving bare skin or tourniquet tightness. Half gloves free your fingers for fine work, but freeze them even on sultry days under certain conditions. Whichever you pick, gel inserts under leather palms decrease constant pressure and preserve skin in a fall, though makers scrimp on this as well. You should try many brands before purchasing a few pairs, full and half, for every season of riding. All should breathe and include a fuzzy spot to swab drips and sweat. Launder them every other ride, or wash gently in sink. For frigid cold, generally wear a padded half below a civilian cloth pair with Thinsulate, rather than buy expensive fingerless cycling brands you must constantly remove to do the simplest things with any dexterity.

Jackets & Jerseys: Always a struggle since diverse styles serve different purposes. Many triple back pocket style pullovers don't have permeable material and a zippered front to control heat. Sleeves need to be loose enough on biceps, elbow or wrist. Long sleeves are better in intense summer sun, because your arm skin won’t so easily burn; seldom, though, do long sleeves breathe well or conveniently roll up. When hot, found more comfort in loose fitting, short sleeved tech material (Cool Max, Dri-T, Nano-T, silk) without pockets; rather carry items in a frame or handlebar bag than dragging back down to expose neck to sunburn. Wicking sweat off your back deters fatigue from overheating. In winter, wear a poly or wool base layer under a Sugoi pullover; similar to a wetsuit, has a flocked interior, stays toasty warm. Chilly or windy conditions demand a nylon jacket with high collar, which should cinch at neck and wrists, deflect wind, hang snugly, and stop at waist short of saddle. Nylon is porous, though, so for rainy days you may also want an impervious outer garment.

Leggings & Whatnot: Never found a pair that didn’t inch down, so stopped wearing leggings. Can peel off cheap tights just as easily. Do, however, use booties (neoprene shoe covers for extreme cold) and calientoes (cloth toe covers). Also use an acrylic or lycra neck tube as a face mask above a balaclava (head and neck covering) when temps dip below 40°F. Never experienced a condition when arm warmers were helpful, just loose bits to lose. Have resorted to unpleasant plastic pants for very rainy rides, but they keep sweat in, so you’ll be just as soaked anyway afterwards. Always wear a small mirror on my safety glasses; this will save your life if you notice that motorist speeding and texting in the gutter behind you. Besides, how else do you know to shift over to let cars pass, not that you must? Yellow lenses cut glare, filter UV, and still work at dawn and dusk, unlike regular sunglasses. M-frames wrap entire eye, so grit and pebbles flung from cars or other cyclists have little chance of blinding you, as long as they have a bridge that doesn’t slip. Find some with an upper frame that doesn’t block your vision while leaning forward; surprisingly, most do, a persistent design flaw. Might look into munition or safety catalogs, which offer frameless models for less.

Spandex: Pilling is a problem with polyester-polyurethane copolymer, aka elastane or Lycra. Around since 1962 when developed by Joe Shivers at Dupont, named as an anagram of “expands”, spandex stretches with your active lifestyle rather than restricts, which doesn’t matter as much when sedentary. Application really depends upon what sort of riding you do. If you pedal a few blocks to a pub or shop, you don’t need spandex. If you’re out to put on serious miles, it definitely will increase your comfort and distance. The butt of endless fetish jokes, it beats being naked, keeps bugs off, protects from sun, and wicks sweat away. Body swaddling feels reassuring and lets air slip past. Comes in many colors, but legend has it that black was chosen to hide road dirt and saddle dye. Shorts need to be inspected before every use; holes in your second skin could be embarrassing. Wonder whether any plastic is safe to wear given the number of carcinogens in coal and tar they use to produce it. Yet wearing spandex is a no-brainer for any resolute cyclist, practically a uniform for club members.

Wool: Once was a bicyclists’ best (only) choice, but it can be itchy, dries slowly, smells bad, and wears poorly. Wool does, however, insulate better, so still figures in cold and transitional months as underlayment. A natural fiber, it looks fashionable when not shot through with moth holes, and rubs gently against skin. Wonder why they never made short pads out of wool; would try merino boxers to separate costly wear from shorts if they made them gusseted. Do wear wool blend socks year round, but worry over proper fit. Bicyclists ankles and feet swell, but mills almost never weave a loose enough pair for them. Anklet length is best in summer, but crew covers skin up into winter bibs, and heavy wool insulates feet if you can fit them in your cleats; have modified big socks to fit over cleats by sewing holes at balls of feet for pedal clips. Most cyclists keep a dozen pairs for frequent changes, quite an investment. Retailers usually charge 3 times what you’d regularly pay for generic, some of which perform better. Acrylic beats cotton, neither of which are foot friendly over the long haul.

Bottom Slain

In every sense, it’s all downhill once you begin a career. Remaking yourself or transporting skills to another role in nearly impossible. Choose carefully. Heavy labor destroys your body, grinds you down. NFL pros, who pump iron daily and work out constantly, have an average life expectancy of only 55 years, almost 21 years less than a model American schlemiel, who lives 5 years less than typical Swiss citizens and women in general. Information toilers wind up insane and lame. Since some claim, “Sitting is the new smoking,” you could be slain by jockeying a desk with bottom plopped in a chair, or motoring instead of pedaling there. So an extreme of either labor or rest is really the parlous pest. Heed no extremist’s advice; learn balance or pay price.

Peak productivity requires aerobic habits, decent diet, and regular shuteye, though businesses prefer the presenteeism of employees slaving through overtime into replaceable burnout. The more you improve yourself, the more you’re resented by anarchists, coworkers, grade school dropouts, ne’er-do-wells, and nervous managers. Too much work or worry builds debilitating stress. Labor laws ought to guarantee an annual unpaid leave below 6 weeks without penalty beyond the paltry 2 of paid vacation companies bestow begrudgingly. Many expect you to work through 10 holidays, too. Have they never seen, “Moderation in all things,” avowed by Saint Augustine? Explorers navigating unknown seas granted sailors more ease. Work frustration breeds domestic violence and social disease.

Bike&Chain always examines phenomena scrupulously and reports experiences exactly. Labann lives to debunk old sayings and describe consequences in terms of mortality. What matters more than a choice between death and life? Statistics, when not simply made up, get misinterpreted; observed effects are not root causes, which require actual investigations and scientific analysis to determine. Americans don’t only die from heart attacks and obesity; pundits say,“...the leading causes of death in the US before age 50 include car accidents, gun violence, and drug overdoses. Citing a 2011 study of 23 countries, the panel found the rate of firearm homicides to be 20 times higher in the US.” With world’s greatest percentage of prisoners and highest health costs, lives are shorter in USA than most other industrialized countries. Doctors still say smoking is the #1 health threat, but that's not entirely true, either. Fossil fuel has got to be #1. Nations fight wars over it. Constituents include known carcinogens. Driving around is sedentary, ruins body. Exhaust from burning coal and petrol causes asthma. Refineries pollute so badly, you’re 5 times more likely to die living near one. Where they limit cars, gun mayhem drops to next to nothing.

Considering the sole purpose for assault weapons and handguns is to kill humans illegally, acquiring them ought to be difficult, not easy. Anyone can order by mail and pick up at a local dealer. People with diagnosed mental disorders aren’t barred from owning. Like drivers, purchasers ought to be licensed through analogous classroom studies and "road tests" at ranges, both with passing grades. No point at all having any weapon (bow, crossbow, handgun, grenade, rifle, sword) if you don’t know how to use it safely, likely to hurt self instead of protect. Once believed bicycling was basic recreation for bottom feeders; target shooting dives below with cost of ammo and guns less than a cheap bike. All arsenals should be inspected and monitored, weapons registered. Firearms have never been investments that appreciate in value. Assemble as many as you like, just ban private sales and don’t distribute to anyone except federal fireman licensed (FFL) dealers. Interstate commerce in them otherwise ought to be a Class 1 felony tantamount to second degree murder, since it abets homicide and manslaughter.

Arguments against arms control demonstrate bizarre all-or-nothing logic and reduce every restriction to absurdity. One says, “Ban guns and only criminals will have them.” But wouldn’t it then be a lot easier to identify perpetrators? So much for, "Defend self against gunmen,” who then wouldn’t be armed. “Guns do not kill, people do,” but they do enable psychopaths. Everyone dies in firefights, including innocent bystanders who also have rights. Another says,” If someone runs down a kid with an SUV, you don't stop selling motor vehicles," though dealing death isn’t a vehicle’s sole purpose and licensing marginally protects passengers. Carmakers did stop selling station wagons because they couldn't reduce emissions, so instead developed minivans and SUVs with more destructive footprints and no legislative standards. Regulations don’t prohibit end runs. Congress is too busy arguing splinter issues to follow up. Voters surveyed support neither carrying loaded weapons nor restricting freedoms to own them. After massacres they blame families and mental disorders. However, policies focus on controlling guns instead of counseling through state sponsored health insurance. So conservative opposition to affordable care inflames problem and invites further gun control. Why so shocked? Everything is interrelated. Laws and policies must take all effects into account.

The trouble with democracy is dunces dominate, while geniuses get ignored. Is the only answer armed revolution? Who, exactly, is the enemy? Turns out, gun manufacturers and their lobbyists are. You'll never see sensible measures enacted because NRA only cares about money, not humanity, and runs Republican party, who rule Congress. There are already many forms of gun control, such as carrying locked in vehicle’s trunk separate from ammo and restricting zones where they can be fired, though enforcement has been lax, since off-duty police are the worse offenders. Where homicides have no limits, extra measures are taken, and why not? They could curb gun sales with no ill effects to commerce or rights, limit arsenals to militias, not permit sociopaths to buy. That’s not banning all sales, just a small number, unless you realize that only lunatics want guns. Why not have city planners include gun free zones, entrants screened at gateways, and villains apprehended and disarmed? Concealed, loaded and unlocked weapons complicate enforcement, so much so that armed police prefer to harass law abiders rather than nab felons and gangsters. Lack of gun control sacrifices innocents. Self improvement includes rising above grisly intolerance.

Gun enthusiasts can’t wait for an absurd zombie apocalypse, because it would exonerate their desire to exterminate anyone who frustrates or opposes their plans for conformity to some nazi ideology of psycho uniformity. Lost souls? You just don’t know how victims might someday contribute to society, particularly school children. Altruists become nurses and social workers. Football linemen use only their armor clad selves to wage battles, and, given the stakes, can be very punishing, yet infractions are swiftly penalized and injuries are never fatal. People can be a pain. But think about it. Where do your comforts, energy, entertainments, food, fresh water, roads, shelter, shoes, soap, wearing apparel come from? If you still hate, you better discover ways to cope, resign yourself to being a hermit, or seek professional help. Guns are called great equalizers, but only angels and saints stand in harm's way. Racing to the bottom threatens all humans.

Blind Ultramontane

Probably ought to read more than write. Can turn to interesting blogs, nonfiction, or novels to break up monotony of dogmatic how-to’s and textbooks. Reading lets you passively absorb information you might eventually use effectively or profitably. Many books merely pick a topic and vegetatively quote others who commented on it. Blogs might offer a sentence or two but principally exist as click-bait for advertising pennies or cookie downloads with trojan horses. Real content serves both community and self, but wastes author’s effort and time when editors or readers don’t reciprocate. The social convention of authors providing information of value with societies caring for their welfare, as if horticultural specimens, seems to have fallen by the wayside.

People appreciate ancient evangelists and prophets because they codified religions, expected nothing, and got martyred for their trouble. Authors today expect the same credibility for living dangerously and spewing contrary filth. Monarchists and ultramontanes condemn separation of church and state and rather confer absolute power to a king or pope. They are blinded by their chance to control and dominate through the power of words. Uniformity of belief or practice leads directly to fascism. Diversity of opinion, while apparently wasteful, does create markets, expand economy, explore alternatives, honor all sides, and offer hope. Diversity is mankind’s survival mechanism. Why theocracies fail is that some neighboring ruler devoted to another inflexible religion routinely disagrees and wars commence. The bitterest fights are fought over flavors of the same (Christian Catholics kill Christian Protestants; Moslem Shia kill Moslem Sunnis). Constitutional democracies don’t run well, but at least give citizens who vote a small say in life threatening policies and historically last longer than any other form of government.

Readers seek Top 10 lists as ways to hack through dense detail, mental machetes in a jungle of falsehood. Just as in this metaphor, each such complied list foists unfounded opinions, further confuses issues, skips relevant input, and surrounds obvious facts with phony hype, what greedy conservatives rely upon when duping masses into sacrificing themselves. For once, however, Labann will relent, toss readers a bone, undertake unbiased cycling tips, and won’t further bitch about it.

10. Before each ride, check tires for integrity (no cuts or imbeds) and pressure. If you must fill rear, also top off front. Otherwise, skip front to save time and valve wear.


9. Store cleats, glasses, gloves, helmet and pump in same spot, ready for next ride, but not where subject to bugs, bumps, damp, direct sun, and falls. Try a mesh bag hung on bike or open shelf unit.


8. Carry cash, cell phone, credit card(s), keys, and small tools in a ziplock baggie; keeps them collected and dry.

7. Pay the extra fee (if any) to make sure your new bike exactly fits you; use your regular apparel, cleats and saddle during fitting, which should include handlebar adjustment, laser leg alignment, and saddle positioning. Expect small tweaks thereafter to perfect.

6. Wash bike often with soap and water; use an old toothbrush for tight areas, like chain links and derailleur cogs. Especially clean brake pads and wheel rims. Wipe dry while inspecting frame for cracks and noting damage. Once fully dry, again lubricate chain.

5. Now ride with knees in to spare later pain; flailing is only okay to get balance right after mounting. Cleated pedals help guide legs into efficient positions over long distances.

4. Change hand positions on bars frequently; grab brake hoods to rest wrists, drops to get low into wind.

3. Wear a helmet. Doesn’t make you invincible, but does provide cheap insurance against concussions and skull fractures. Wear padded gloves for safety, spandex shorts and wicking jerseys for comfort, or whatever you want that won’t later deter enthusiasm.

2. Stick to white line at road’s edge; weaving in and out of shoulder confuses motorists and obstructs visibility for both them and you. Tuck in on curves where clipping might occur.

1. Hour for hour, bicycling is more fun than working. Bike commuting avoids driving stress, jettisons your burdens, and restores mood so family won’t suffer, as long as you don’t obsess over it.

These are not 10 commandments, just suggestions shared from 10,000 hours in the saddle. You are entitled to compile your own list, dispute, or ignore, because, when you embrace a bicycle as transportation, “This machine kills fascists,” figuratively speaking.

Verity Ingrain

Once bicycling and cycling were synonymous. Lately, they’ve developed separate connotations. Would be wise to include in B&C’s bixicon that bicycling is the generic term for propelling self on any bi-wheeled contraption, whereas cycling has come to mean racing an approved diamond-framed bike for sport, though for some riders the two remain indistinguishable. You know who they are by how rudely they pass. “Cyclist” could thus be used disparagingly, and often is by motorists. And what do you call riders on power-assisted bikes? Micro-motorists? Others pedal on human powered vehicles, recumbents and trikes, but HPV-ers sounds like vectors for a nasty disease. Struggles that bicyclists endure put them in the category of vulnerable road users, veritably on par with protected species. Motorists sometimes run over bald eagles and snowy owls, smaller targets than you who can’t likewise fly, so never be surprised when their vehicles overtake within inches. Beware, listen, watch out for yourself.

Other terms to differentiate lie along a continuum from bad to worst: Climate change, continual extinction, global warming, tipping event, mass extinction, and global doom. Much will be lost if oceans rise 4 feet from melting polar ice due to climate change. At great cost, humans can relocate inland, but insurers will go broke. Global warming will kill species, some of which are crucial to all life, like bees that pollenate vegetables, so this affects everyone. Species die all the time, but rate has dramatically increased. Heating depletes ocean oxygen and kills fish. Too much carbon gas, hydrocarbon vapors, and ozone would impede breathing among mammals. At some point toxins accumulate so much that planet renews itself in a catastrophic spasm. Such drastic changes will extirpate species unprepared to handle. The more astronomers know about solar system, the less confident they are that an asteroid crashing into earth won’t crush and suffocate most life forms, though its thin atmosphere has sheltered humanity so far from a continual barrage of objects small enough to burn upon entry.

Commenting on expansion of internet access, Diane Ackerman (7 Feb 2015) said, “Never before have we been so dangerous to the planet or to ourselves, but never before have we been so capable of working together to find solutions.“ Given human nature, don’t yet see any propensity for collaborating meaningfully beyond exploitation of people and resources. E. O. Wilson recently renounced kin selection, which he previously theorized as a natural imperative to preserve genes among closest relatives by sacrificing self. So no definitive bio-mechanism has yet been identified to explain why altruism exists, while instilling any cooperation requires a bit of it. This leaves scientists in an argumentative quandary. More often humans seem to be guided by self interest and motivated by survival of the fittest. But don’t humans embrace their own birth characteristics and form castes from alpha to untouchable? Leadership or subservience appear to be genetically inherited after all, though behaviors revolve around preferences given to those culturally and racially similar to rulers. It’s harder but not impossible for an outsider to wrest control, but that does describe some conquests, for instance, the small contingent of Cortés in Mexico overthrowing entire Aztec empire.

Damn it, scientists constantly come up with paradoxes you can’t comprehend. Everyone already spends way too much time inside thinking instead of outside living, watching videos instead of witnessing nature firsthand. Paradoxes get interpreted and played out by directors and novelists, though all the real money is made and risks taken by movie producers. IMDB lists over 200 truth titles in film, shorts and television series, important examples described below:

A Dark Truth (2012) - Ex-CIA agent and Toronto talk show host Jack Begosian (Andy Garcia) gets hired to expose a corporate massacre in Ecuador. Poorly reviewed and purely fictitious, lost money.


An Inconvenient Truth (2006) - Former Vice President Al Gore narrates this documentary about global warming’s disastrous potential, whereas bicyclists and walkers don’t significantly add to greenhouse gases, unless they eat lots of beans. Earned little at box office but provoked Big Oil denial and Republican rebuttal. Should be required viewing.

Kill the Messenger (2014) - In 1996, journalist Gary Webb (Jeremy Renner) broke a story that connected CIA with 1980’s crack cocaine epidemic. Government and legacy media joined forces to silence him. Docudrama lost money in ticket sales over its modest $5 million budget. Maybe it was confused with Tami Hoag’s like-named suspense novel about bike messengers. "The truth will set you free," said John the Evangelist, but it may kill you in the process.

True Grit - Original (1969) and remade (2010) western of imaginary Marshall Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne, later Jeff Bridges) made serious money. Set in 1880, there were no bicycles, only horses, though film’s title and protagonist’s surname suggest that which gathers on chains and gears. Cyclists in Colorado, where film was shot, have more than made up for this oversight.

True Lies (1994) - Totally fictional action adventure in which Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger) hunts down and kills terrorists. Major blockbuster grossed hundreds of millions worldwide. Wasted an enormous amount of fuel with exploding tanks trucks, fast cars, hovering helicopters, and VTOL jets.

True Story (2015) - Former New York Times reporter Michael Finkle (Jonah Hill) hoping to redeem himself and restore his reputation is seduced and used by brutal killer Christian Longo (James Franco). Based on actual events, made only a few million nationwide.

Truth (2015) - Reporting facts about Dubya’s military AWOL due to father’s influence costs 60 Minutes newscasters Dan Rather (Robert Redford) and Mary Mapes (Cate Blanchet) their jobs and reputations. Bet on seeing a few bicycles on Manhattan streets, but predict failure for this emerging docudrama despite its all-star cast. Erstwhile journalist Edward R. Murrow, who opposed McCarthy’s communist witch hunt when such dissent could bury you, understood truth better than most, “Speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue. Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up... If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ in color for a full hour, there would be a considerable number of stations which would decline to carry it on the grounds that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.” But Murrow lived before cable when just 3 networks dominated airwaves, though news programming still seldom garners significant marketshare. Journalism is dead, supplanted by conservative infotainment and extremist opinion. “Good night, and good luck.”

The Ugly Truth (2009) - Romantic comedy in which alluring but awkward TV producer Abby Richter (Katherine Heigl) abides shock jock Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler) hired to raise ratings, who later advises her on how to attract men. Sex sells. Grossed over $250 million.

The Whole Truth (2015) - New Orleans lawyer Richard Ramsey (Keanu Reeves) defends a teenage client who allegedly murdered his rich father. Still in post production, has nothing to do, other than being a courtroom drama, with recent TV series of the same name, which was canceled after airing only 4 of 13 episodes produced. Few care enough about truth to want to know the whole of it, usually too boring, depressing, longwinded, or mundane.

See a pattern? Many filmmakers suddenly seem excited about exploring facts and exposing lies, probably to fill the vacuum left by the decline of real journalism and rise in historical revisionism. Or it's mass delusion following Fox president Roger Ailes' assertion, "Truth is whatever people will believe.” Only those who bash, denigrate and mock truth get rewarded. Only profit matters. Bush administrations engaged primarily in damage control, fact denial, and revenue looting. You’d think name recognition alone would negate chances as a presidential candidate, but the small minority who thrived under father then brother are supporting sibling's campaign. Religions still try to ingrain habits without any rational verity. As Mary Mapes, defending herself before Congress, said, “Nobody wants to talk about that. They want to talk about fonts and forgeries, and they hope to God the truth gets lost in the scrum.”

Cynics maintain, “No news is good news,” though they mislead, since glad tidings are always possible, even if something unexpected with which to deal. The ancient Gnostic proverb goes, "If you don't dance, you don't know what happens." Writers don't just observe; the best participate. You can't speak with authority unless you do it yourself. Rather than seek mythical heroes to inform you, you can yourself use internet to exchange realtime news, so corporations and governments don’t get away with crimes and scams, though it does invite individual treachery of avaricious charlatans, conspiracy theorists, identity thieves, and other miscreants.