Wrap in Cellophane

A joint Coca Cola and Walmart commercial buys a boy a bike, what he "really" wants for Christmas, 2015. Displays self sacrifice and sharing among family members. Collaboration or corporate tag team? Advertising almost always focuses upon an individual company, so wonder whether viewers noticed either. Reminds one of the 10000 Maniacs video, Trouble Me, in which angelic Natalie Merchant rides a bike and shoulders concern for the elderly. Can’t imagine it was very popular during the 1990’s. But at least then people could still afford to be kind.

President Obama spoke several times lately for sharing the responsibility of rooting out terrorists and working in solidarity with Muslims, who figure as citizens in business, sports, and such roles. It’s as clear as cellophane that the world’s richest people foster terrorism, particularly media tycoons and Saudi sheiks whose empires are built on human tragedy and wasteful practices. Don’t forget religions, too, spread through exclusive ideologies and intolerance for the slightest difference in arbitrary customs among themselves.

Been studying conservatism for a long time. It appeals to clerics, cynics, knuckleheads, morons, schemers, terrorists, and whoever has given up on humanity altogether. The Unabomber was incensed by socialism despite the fact he couldn't even define it. Conservative media fuels their rage, while it isn't actually reporting on anything other than how others lead nonviolent lives that don't support their extremism, made obvious by name calling and saber rattling. Conservatism attracts isolationists, jihadists, John Birchers, neo-nazis, NRA, religious fanatics, white supremacists, and whoever is so bigoted or prejudiced they'd rather kill than suffer you to exist. They believe in fascism and final solutions, as did Hitler. They oppose decency so much because cultural fusion requires thinking, something for which they are woefully unequipped. About 25% of population is insane, and mental incompetents gravitate to this packaged hate. Don’t suppose they see the irony of listening to billionaire Rupert Murdoch, himself an immigrant recently retired from Fox News, who staunchly advocates immigration and market economy, and villainously opposes collective bargaining, public service, social security, welfare, and whatever provides a safety net for the vulnerable, for example, those he enslaves. Press profits when there’s blood in the streets. People getting by by working cooperatively isn’t newsworthy.

Only cooperation would work, because trying to fight terrorism would take more might than any nation alone can muster. You can bomb a location back to the stone age, but many terrorists are cavemen anyway. Any such approach would be costly and pointless, play right into their hands. Less than decisive approaches only appear weak, but they are really how solutions forestall crises, probably the best you can do in a complex world. Never forget how Dubya inspired and orchestrated a war that ended in global recession and perpetuated terrorism. He did Americans no favors, though he favored the few who make a killing from death.

GOP only succeeds in elections when voter turnout is light, when only crazies show up and majority stays home. But unless worthy candidates step up, why vote? Some tenets of conservatism have merit in small roles, like dog catchers and quality inspectors. One must learn to stomach it. It never works with international policy, though; instead it destabilizes treaties. Terrorists themselves are intensely conservative. Despite their impassioned rhetoric, don’t subscribe to their holy war against each other, because they’d rather you die fighting it for them. They'd gladly sacrifice a family who can barely afford to get a kid a $50 bike as well as the kid who rides it. Worst of all is how they suck whatever merriment and mirth remains from an already stressful season.

Divine Warplane

Recently viewed The Wind Rises (aka Kaze tachinu, Hayao Miyazaki, dir., 2014), a Studio Ghibli anime about the life of Jirô Horikoshi, who designed the Japanese Mitsubishi Zeros that attacked Pearl Harbor on what FDR called “a day of infamy” (December 7th, 1941) three quarters of a century ago. America responded with faster, stronger aircraft which led to victory in the Pacific. In part an apology for aeronautical death and destruction, meant more to show how progress plays leap frog, film excels at depicting culture in a pre-WWII Japan struggling through fire storms and global depression peppered with folks on bicycles. In a typical still, a contemplative Jiro sees a cyclist while clutching his slide rule. Doesn’t connect his imaginative wing designs to bicycles, instead inspired by the curve of mackerel bones.

Japan has a well established jitensha culture with songs by Ore Ska Band (concludes Naruto Shippuuden anime), Shonen Knife’s famous Cycling is Fun, The Saboten, and Titan Go Kings. Makers include world class brands: Fuji, Panasonic, Shimano and Univega. Indeed many Schwinns were made there. As mentioned, Honda slapped a motor on a bike and the rest is history. But recent events and trends raise alarms: Earthquakes, nuclear accidents, tsunamis, typhoons, and with them the same desperation that led to WWII aggression. There’s also been a crackdown on cyclists behaving badly, with new ordinances carrying hefty fines. But blame USA, 1 of only 6 countries that after 23 years haven’t signed the Kyoto Protocol, for not shouldering environmental leadership. Nothing was done to address during disastrous Bush administration, and it took Obama until now to produce Climate Plan as a last ditch effort to garner a lame duck legacy. Of course, many signees haven’t enacted legislation to slow global warming, either, rather follow in America’s lazy, wasteful, but wildly profitable if unsustainable ways.

Not all scientific theories have a single answer or uniform resolution. Different locations face own issues. That's why they poll scientists and test theories. Humans do generally impact environment, causing extinctions of species and killing seas with pollution, just as other factors affected atmosphere over eons. There is no counterargument that justifies conservatives pillaging and raping nature, only ones used to forestall acting proactively and prudently. For a country so dependent upon the sea, Japan decimated its fisheries and warrants criticism for continuing its whaling operations. Japan remains the 5th largest emitter of air pollutants, having higher dioxin levels than any other G20 nation, that no divine wind will dissipate. Failure to conserve now resembles Kamikaze Tokkō Tai missions of old, remnants of honor and loyalty of the samurai Bushido code, which kill whoever delivers along with bystanders and targets. Better to pursue peace and ZPG policies. Tokyo is so overcrowded, people pay a lot to sleep in geki-sema, really just lockers. They even cram bicycles below ground.

Whether Vain

Egocentric cyclists seek an epic trek. They only earn bragging rights if they trained on countless routine runs. Scenery, while pleasant, doesn’t matter, though free traffic flow and fresh air do. Ocean views and ridge vistas, where hills and wind severely slow, tempt some of the hardest riding. Spins out to a park or reservoir grant a destination to breathe in for a few seconds before struggling back. Dull outings can be improved by choosing a different return route. Or you could opt for intermodal to make that a single leg, though you’re “all in”, as poker players say, and must complete, why it’s wiser to plan figure-8 loops which you can quit at intervals.

Looked at a map and noticed several city and state parks within a 12 mile radius, so set out to visit them all. Got to furthest one but was disappointed by bare oaks that signal autumn’s conclusion. Flags and weather vanes say southwest winds that bring warmth have been supplanted by northwest chill. Skipped the rest and took to an old commute route toward bikeway strewn with leaves and home. Was disgusted to compare smooth streets elsewhere with own they’ve dug up and patched repeatedly. This pavement disgrace proved dispiriting; ordinarily come home from riding emotionally boosted and pleasantly tired. The truth about bicycles is that they combine elation and pain, joys and sorrows. Brings to mind a couple of recent films with similar themes:

Irrational Man (Woody Allen, dir. 2015) - Philosophy professor Joaquin Phoenix, who was so effective in Inherent Vice, discovers the world outside his mind as he and his seductive student Emma Stone ride bikes. Not the first time Phoenix was filmed cycling, his character Lewis McBride, while on Malaysian vacation in Return to Paradise (Joseph Ruben, dir., 1998), riding with two friends foolhardily on one bike, and run off road by a truck, was so disgusted by damage he hurled bike off a cliff. During an interview he once compared his passage into intense acting to kids who get their first BMX bike, then go into extreme sports. Stone was famously featured on a yellow peeler banana bike for a GQ spread (August, 2010 issue).

Thanks for Sharing (Stuart Blumberg, dir., 2014) - Mark Ruffalo, who plays Bruce Banner in the latest Marvel Avengers action blockbusters and routinely bikes around Manhattan, stars in this less ambitious melodrama. He and other recovering addicts ride bikes. Josh Gad, trying to get into shape and shun temptations by biking, avoids getting doored only to crash into side of a van. Critics panned it for its depiction of “first world” problems. Ruffalo himself, however, is on the Board of Director for The Solutions Project, a global clean energy initiative, and Water Defense, a nonprofit aimed at preserving water supplies from contaminants. Ruffalo is currently costarring in sex abuse drama Spotlight (Tom McCarthy, dir., 2015) based on Boston Globe’s Pulitzer Award winning investigation and called by reviewer Ryan Painter, “One of the finest-acted films in recent memory.”

These days aliens, altruists and strangers are usually met with violence by the selfish and vain. Shakespeare never said, “Vanity, thy name is woman,” though vanity fits better than “frailty”, since anatomically women can endure more pain than men, something patriarchs have used to rationalize their mistreatment. Sharing is an alien concept, for sure: implies bringing and taking, giving and receiving, sometimes introducing people or playing host. Everyone in America is either an immigrant or scion of one, whether arrived last week or millennia ago. The Mother of Exiles promises, “Give me your tired, your poor/Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free/The wretched refuse of your teeming shore/Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me/I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" Twelve step programs encourage sharing your feelings to solicit support as a way of breaking your sexual, substance, weapon or xenophobic addiction. Native peoples were historically generous. Qu’ran demands hospitality to guests. Yet, in a war weary world, refugee issues defy resolution and draw press.

There is little difference among conservative, jihadist, neo-Nazi and terrorist hatred. All are convinced that their extremism is the only way. What made America a global magnet for countless dispossessed was its reputation for tolerance. As long as you don't cause deaths or losses, you are welcomed with open arms to act however and believe whatever you want. Foreign terrorists may infiltrate, but domestic serial killers are worse. Millions of Moslem citizens unequivocally contribute to economic diversity and productivity. It wasn’t always that way, and will revert if everyone doesn’t do their part. Moslem countries Iraq, Jordan, Lebanon and Turkey opened refugee camps. Maybe they’re better suited to handle needs of Syrians with aid from industrialized countries. It would shorten the long journey to freedom many endure, some aided by bicycles. Yet the sheer number of refugees is staggering, estimated in the millions. By forcing people out of their homes, you exert control, keep them weak, and seize their assets. The only true riches are what accomplishments these people are capable of, given better circumstances.

Willie Nelson may claim there’s plenty of room for immigrants in America, but East and West coasts are overcrowded and INS quotas are maxed. Canadian and Mexican border towns are likewise overrun with waiting hopefuls. Perhaps Willie was thinking of Alaska’s bush, Montana’s expanses, Nevada’s desert, urban blight, or Wyoming’s mountains, because all the places natural born citizens want to be are already taken. At the Hotel California, they are, “...programmed to receive. You can check in any time you like, but you can never leave.” The motherly embrace personified by Lady Liberty stands for America’s core decency, but immigration can only proceed orderly, under control, weeding out undesirables exiled by foreign governments who don’t follow international laws. When citizens are treated worse than undocumented invaders, tolerance wanes.

Why does anyone want to come to America anyway? Past reputation? Life expectancy is the lowest in industrialized world. Cities are going bankrupt. Crime is rampant. Earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes frequently threaten. Fisheries are fished out. Hunters can't trust game not to be toxic. Loess loss has nearly ruined remaining arable land. Logging and mining are severely limited. Per capita prison populations exceed worldwide counts. Politicians are corrupt, determined to drain every last penny from taxpayers. Public debt means each resident (man, women and child) owes over $150,000. The disparity in wealth between have and have nots is greater than ever in history. America has been called the worse place to live if you are poor, though that seems exaggerated compared to Sudan, Syria, and war zones. Green carders have more rights than citizens, while policies allow offshoring jobs and union busting. If conservatives who oppose immigration (affordable health plans, collective bargaining, drug interdiction, gun control, planned parenthood, separation of church and state, tax reform, and voter registration) get their way, as usual, both social security and welfare will end, so there will be no safety net. Social Security was intended to protect workers from failures caused by government policies; without it murders and thefts would make life unlivable. It's time to make some really tough choices. Forget handouts paid by taxing the dwindling middle class and growing poor.

But who are these refugees? Many are no-threat women with children. Recently viewed previously mentioned Saudi film Wadja (Haifa Al-Monsour dir., 2012), where Waad Mohammed in title role tries to earn enough money to buy her own bicycle against society's will. Film exposes the hypocrisy of Moslem practices subjugating female half of population, who insecure men treat as inferior. The vain do not share power or wealth. Wadja rides to the end of her street and surveys horizon, which seems more threatening than welcoming.

Zane Grey’s novels Riders of the Purple Sage and The Rainbow Trail were both against Mormon polygamy and for woman rights. Set in pre-suffragette 1870’s Utah, bicycles don’t appear, despite suggestive titles. Moab, where film was shot, however, is the mountain biking capitol of the universe. Grey's popular books still resonate a century and a half later because same issues continue unresolved. Why should the underserved majority demand so little from diplomats and leaders and tolerate that?

Golden Volplane

When was it that getting a bicycle no longer reigned as the greatest gift a kid could get? This year marks 50 years, a golden jubilee, since a wide-eyed Labann found a brand new bicycle beside the Christmas tree with a bow and sticker unbelievably attached with his name, a forest green Raleigh replete with fenders, guard over chain, and pump on frame. Nothing would ever be the same. Until then only rode borrowed bikes and hand-me-downs. Couldn't wait until Spring. Rode for awhile farther and wider than deemed feasible, then began taking it apart to improve speed and learn how to make it work better. Led to a lifelong career in engineering, so scolding by dad wasn't really warranted. Abused the heck out of it as anyone who’s gotten anything for free would. Treated it like another chemistry set or scientific toy, something upon which to experiment. Wasn't until the self earned Captain America Schwinn that carefully maintaining began to register. Common 3-speeds seldom got stolen, but you couldn’t leave 10-speeds unattended. Chain necklaces wore heavily on shoulders for what little they did to deter theft.

Streets back then were lined with trees that formed foliage tunnels. Leaf/leaves, loaf/loaves, sheaf/sheaves: funny how some words form irregular plurals, preserve mispronunciations, and retain vestiges from other languages. Come fall, maples down a line made for a golden tube, yellow above and below shaded in slanted rays, for arm-spread daredevils to dive into, rather an aeronautical volplane rapidly descending, exploring how papery leaves parted like frothy seas upon a macadam bed. On side streets back then few cars were around, off elsewhere or parked in garages, to impede curious kids on bikes. However, a block down was US1 with frequent spurts of cars and trucks, so you actually had to look both ways to cross. Flip calendars 50 years, cars race through 4-way stops at every back road intersection, while youth stay indoors playing video games.

You should honor any commitment to a nation by how well its policies treat golden agers, impressionable youth, and vulnerable citizens. Surely something can be done to ensure fairness, harvest experience, and provide opportunities? Fitzgerald lamented, “There are no second acts in American lives.” Nobel Prize winner Peter Higgs, whose surname precedes the elemental boson, said he'd never be offered a position in these days of academic productivity. They only kept him on at the University of Edinburgh because his theories might be proven right, which CERN scientists recently confirmed, though he voluntarily retired before the 20th Century closed. Even laureates feel like vestiges that hung on so long nobody knows what they mean or why they exist. Meanwhile, paint fades and flakes on a girl's pink bike ridden into destiny on a jejune mural. With no jobs for a new generation, are there even first acts in America anymore?

There is no requirement to read books or newspapers to know the truth in current events. In fact, all media does is feed you countless lies. You need to conduct your own research, just do things, so you know how things are supposed to be done. Only then you can comment with authority. Too bad your hours on earth are so few you can't know much. Worse, you're forced to act and decide on false information and scant input. Not much point giving advice. It will be misapplied, probably fail, then reap retribution instead of thanks. Anyway, all can be distilled to, “Do it yourself or do without.” Anything else will anger some, disrespect those who are acutely dependent, and get ignored by majority.

If you hold others to high standards you must act exemplary yourself. Recriminations evoke anger, especially when you're the victim. Saying, "You didn't fight hard enough," lets abusers get off scot-free. Identifying where transactions went wrong should be a step in improving next, if ever there's another chance. What's ideal is to glide headlong into damaged societies and reap lessons of their being mistreated and mistreating others. Thereby, social photo-essayist Sebastiao Salgardo and you are simply exempt. But that's not what typically happens. You're greeted with suspicion, often attacked without provocation by the Salt of the Earth. Takes tremendous courage to care, which is one reason why what's really going on is so seldom reported.

Wearing Elastane

Suit up in what? Buying bike specific apparel has always been hit-or-miss. With a wide range in fit and performance from which to choose, brand names mean little. Can only point to what features should be avoided or sought. Obviously, nothing should bunch up or fit badly; crotch should be gusseted and seams well sewn. Ankles and wrists need not be squeezed. Light weight isn't the sole criterion.

Bibs & Shorts: Swear by Pearl Izumi’s blue pad Attack shorts but totally reject their yellow pad tights. Don’t prefer a certain number of panels, though fewer might mean less sewing later. Bibs and skin suits don’t breathe as well but stay in place better, just another compromise that forces your decision. Have nothing but praise for Castelli’s winter bibs used for a dozen seasons with its broad shoulder straps and cold stopping neoprene panels, but dislike their tech knicker for below knee strangulation, though both of their flat red seat pads are very comfortable. They don’t make either anymore; designs come and go without improvement, irritatingly so when you’re trying to replace. Have been known to resew seams just to improve fit; makers seem to target rail thin stereotypes rather than real shapes bodies exhibit. Often combine commonplace tights with company named bibs or skin suits when too cool for shorts alone. Wear padded shorts beneath body tights without pads for an extra level of warmth.

Gloves: Cannondale’s at least have generous velcro at wrists, whereas several others scrimp leaving bare skin or tourniquet tightness. Half gloves free your fingers for fine work, but freeze them even on sultry days under certain conditions. Whichever you pick, gel inserts under leather palms decrease constant pressure and preserve skin in a fall, though makers scrimp on this as well. You should try many brands before purchasing a few pairs, full and half, for every season of riding. All should breathe and include a fuzzy spot to swab drips and sweat. Launder them every other ride, or wash gently in sink. For frigid cold, generally wear a padded half below a civilian cloth pair with Thinsulate, rather than buy expensive fingerless cycling brands you must constantly remove to do the simplest things with any dexterity.

Jackets & Jerseys: Always a struggle since diverse styles serve different purposes. Many triple back pocket style pullovers don't have permeable material and a zippered front to control heat. Sleeves need to be loose enough on biceps, elbow or wrist. Long sleeves are better in intense summer sun, because your arm skin won’t so easily burn; seldom, though, do long sleeves breathe well or conveniently roll up. When hot, found more comfort in loose fitting, short sleeved tech material (Cool Max, Dri-T, Nano-T, silk) without pockets; rather carry items in a frame or handlebar bag than dragging back down to expose neck to sunburn. Wicking sweat off your back deters fatigue from overheating. In winter, wear a poly or wool base layer under a Sugoi pullover; similar to a wetsuit, has a flocked interior, stays toasty warm. Chilly or windy conditions demand a nylon jacket with high collar, which should cinch at neck and wrists, deflect wind, hang snugly, and stop at waist short of saddle. Nylon is porous, though, so for rainy days you may also want an impervious outer garment.

Leggings & Whatnot: Never found a pair that didn’t inch down, so stopped wearing leggings. Can peel off cheap tights just as easily. Do, however, use booties (neoprene shoe covers for extreme cold) and calientoes (cloth toe covers). Also use an acrylic or lycra neck tube as a face mask above a balaclava (head and neck covering) when temps dip below 40°F. Never experienced a condition when arm warmers were helpful, just loose bits to lose. Have resorted to unpleasant plastic pants for very rainy rides, but they keep sweat in, so you’ll be just as soaked anyway afterwards. Always wear a small mirror on my safety glasses; this will save your life if you notice that motorist speeding and texting in the gutter behind you. Besides, how else do you know to shift over to let cars pass, not that you must? Yellow lenses cut glare, filter UV, and still work at dawn and dusk, unlike regular sunglasses. M-frames wrap entire eye, so grit and pebbles flung from cars or other cyclists have little chance of blinding you, as long as they have a bridge that doesn’t slip. Find some with an upper frame that doesn’t block your vision while leaning forward; surprisingly, most do, a persistent design flaw. Might look into munition or safety catalogs, which offer frameless models for less.

Spandex: Pilling is a problem with polyester-polyurethane copolymer, aka elastane or Lycra. Around since 1962 when developed by Joe Shivers at Dupont, named as an anagram of “expands”, spandex stretches with your active lifestyle rather than restricts, which doesn’t matter as much when sedentary. Application really depends upon what sort of riding you do. If you pedal a few blocks to a pub or shop, you don’t need spandex. If you’re out to put on serious miles, it definitely will increase your comfort and distance. The butt of endless fetish jokes, it beats being naked, keeps bugs off, protects from sun, and wicks sweat away. Body swaddling feels reassuring and lets air slip past. Comes in many colors, but legend has it that black was chosen to hide road dirt and saddle dye. Shorts need to be inspected before every use; holes in your second skin could be embarrassing. Wonder whether any plastic is safe to wear given the number of carcinogens in coal and tar they use to produce it. Yet wearing spandex is a no-brainer for any resolute cyclist, practically a uniform for club members.

Wool: Once was a bicyclists’ best (only) choice, but it can be itchy, dries slowly, smells bad, and wears poorly. Wool does, however, insulate better, so still figures in cold and transitional months as underlayment. A natural fiber, it looks fashionable when not shot through with moth holes, and rubs gently against skin. Wonder why they never made short pads out of wool; would try merino boxers to separate costly wear from shorts if they made them gusseted. Do wear wool blend socks year round, but worry over proper fit. Bicyclists ankles and feet swell, but mills almost never weave a loose enough pair for them. Anklet length is best in summer, but crew covers skin up into winter bibs, and heavy wool insulates feet if you can fit them in your cleats; have modified big socks to fit over cleats by sewing holes at balls of feet for pedal clips. Most cyclists keep a dozen pairs for frequent changes, quite an investment. Retailers usually charge 3 times what you’d regularly pay for generic, some of which perform better. Acrylic beats cotton, neither of which are foot friendly over the long haul.