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Monday, November 4, 2024

Cultures Betain

“I could walk this fine line between elation and success... You'll have to prove it to me... You’re wasting time, yeah, every time. Whoa, I can't do it by myself.” - Fall Out Boy, Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over [punk-pop], Take This to Your Grave, Fueled by Ramen, 2003

Among realms of intertwined relationships, bicycling culture lives where literary poiesis and sculptural kinesis intersect. Labann rides a rolling sculpture while making observations and recording revelations. Isn’t this what wordsmiths and wheelsmiths have in common? Two dichotomous gears may spin in opposite directions, but work effectively where they intersect.

Too often witness distressing signs that something’s gone awry: forgotten forests of fallen limbs, roadside vegetation smothered by manmade castoffs, and shuttered factories beside black streams swollen by soot-smeared snowmelt. Many say that aimlessly self propelling represents ineffective exercise and time wasted, but not to bicycle industry’s independent and myriad workers whose livelihoods depend upon it.

Croci don’t lie; once they bloom and die, temps soon equal age, a threshold to venture outdoors for many adult cyclists. On a dreary late winter spin suddenly realized that several streets en route were befittingly named - Armstrong, Columbia, Columbia again in a different town, Economy, Finance, Merida, and Wheeler, past Clement’s Marketplace, Continental Tire, Iron Horse Pub, Roadmasters Drivers School, and Singer Sewing Center of Coventry, not famous one in England where bicycle industry and international popularity began. Was reminded of alien hunting, bike sleuthing Wheeler family from Netflix series Stranger Things (Duffer Bros., dirs., 2016 to 2022) set in 1980’s Indiana, home to over 50 current or former bicycle builders. One may be strangely immersed in bicycling relevancy without noticing its legal pertinency. Cyborgs will never connect these dots.

Anyway, why do so many brands of bicycles, components, frames and tires exist? Talk about, “Reinventing the wheel.” Between 1878 to 1918 there were over 2,000 North American makers and tradenames, not to mention thousands of European counterparts and predecessors, each dabbling locally before distributing globally; neighborhood shops satisfied regional markets until a billion bicyclists emerged. Entrepreneurial barriers remain fewer than, say, automaking, farming, or mining. A bench, brazing rig, coffee pot, couple of jigs, garage out back, stock, tools, training, $25K in operating cash, website, and you’re in business. Gold mining (if you can find disappearing pay dirt or elusive mother lodes), opening a fast food franchise, and other such ventures start at $250K, 10x more than a framemaking startup, with just as little chance of success.

Frame weld grinding, image from a bank loan ad

“The bike market isn't such a golden opportunity that you can just dive in and get rich. It's a tough market for anybody, especially a small company. To even stand a chance, you have to stand for something... Diversity is a good thing... a sign of health... but I'm not sure how much ‘velodiversity’ there will be in the future. Big fish eat little fish.”—Grant Petersen, formerly of Bridgestone USA, founder of Rivendell Bicycle Works

Although brands appear and disappear at an alarming rate, can’t ever call a brand defunct, only discontinued; not only are riders rebuilding or still using vintage antiques, names sometimes get revived, whether by legal means on license or in violation of international trademark laws trying to cash in on someone’s else earned reputation. Makes it hard to condemn or validate when retail shops haphazardly slap own names on bikes manufactured by someone else. Hot blooded egotists are ever eager to claim credit, same reason a tall ugly building carries name of someone tangentially involved with its construction.

Marketshare dominators buy or crush competitors, but sometimes lose anyway. Disturbs how many brands today have automotive parents, though other automakers’ roots lie in bike building. Not so celebrated are origins among sewing machines and small arms, though controversial apparel always played a significant role. Starley figured laid-off workers who had been building sewing machines could easily knock off French bicycles, so saved Coventry from recession. Beset by pandemic disruption of supply chain, and   previously outcompeted by cheap oriental imports, local builders have rallied.

“There's a terrible delight in watching a rival sink without a trace.”—Bernard “The Badger” Hinault

First arguable depiction of a bicycle comes from Codex Atlanticus, a compilation of drawings by Leonardo da Vinci. Half a millennium later, bicycles are flourishing as one of humanity’s most persistent technologies. Bike&Chain emerged to study their broad impact. After a nudge by Baden’s democratic reformer Baron Von Drais in1818, discrediting Russian claims of Yefim Artamonov’s 1801 invention and spurious bicycle nationalisms, a burgeoning global workforce had produced 4 billion completed bicycles before their bicentennial, and, according to industry estimates, surviving manufacturers are currently pumping out 4 complete units per second.

Winslow Homer, The New Year - 1869, pen and ink drawing, 155 years ago, soon after American Civil War concluded, thus creating opportunities for gun makers to diversify into newfangled bicycles

Accuracy in tracking details that every self-styled historian quibbles over forever faces data blackouts and misinformation campaigns from geopolitical adversaries, who, unlike western democracies, don’t recognize any individual contribution or share methods of production. Low priced knockoffs slapped together by Asian slave labor buried many Western brands. Learning only comes from direct investigation and hands-on history; classes, lists, memoirs, news, and texts only point in that direction.

Actually, the best bike is one you get your budget and butt to like, because few can afford to own bespoke perfection, which you’d be too afraid to spring from a vault to take a spin. Cyclists can be real divas picking handmades to reflect own preferences and prejudices. But if box store models fulfilled every need, and one size did fit all, you wouldn’t have to order a custom frameset and precious gruppo to assemble one for yourself. No two bicyclists are the same. Slim jockeys want carbon or titanium throughout; substantial clydesdales want reliable steel. Choice is all about pain you’ve endured and hope to avoid. Bikes resemble boots that last a lifetime provided they fit properly, your feet don’t grow, and you take scrupulous care of them. If one must mull over analogies, diverse brands as they relate to engineering experiments mimic myriad recipes for same gourmet cuisine.

Alphanumeric soup of tradenames rivals plethora of marketing terms for what are, for the most part, bi-wheeled diamond framed contraptions. You might feel sure you can differentiate a city bike from a fixie, or a hardtail enduro from an MTB, or a randonneur (what Brits call audax) from a tourer, but anarchy rules and categories blur. Though they look like road bikes or ten-speeds, cyclocross (XC) and gravel bikes have fatter tires and wider crotches. Frame materials vary from aluminum, bamboo, carbon fiber, chromoly, composites, exotic alloys, hardwoods, monocoque, nonferrous metals, to plain steel. Most are completed with bits and cogs from different manufacturers, though designs and geometries have to mate to work. For example, high end road bikes come without pedals, another personal preference along with handlebars and saddles. Used to be English, French or Italian were only choices, but trends now include all sorts of proprietary and unique combinations that complicate repairs. Savvy cyclists squirrel away wear parts to sell, swap, or use decades later.

Labann says what once was, still is, but won’t state what will be, what world yearns to ascertain, future trends. Laufmaschine, ordinary, then safety: Missus still wears bracelet charms depicting a Michaudine, the original boneshaker. For Scots, a “shank’s nag’ means legging it on foot sans conveyance convenience; meanwhile, “bike” signifies a throng of creatures or persons en masse. Japanese use term “bicycle operation” (Jitensha sōgyō) for any business barely kept going, because when you don’t continuously pedal it falls. Names abound for bicycles around planet including amabhayisekili, audax, axe, baidhsagal, bakfiet, basikal, bayisikalaya, bécane, beic, bелосипед, bhasikoro, bici, biciletta, bicyclette, biciklo, bike, bixi, BMX, breezer, cạkryān, célérifere, charinko, ciclo, corsa, cruiser, cykel, daraaja, delta, digital bike, draisine, dviratis, e-bike, elektrofahrrad, enduro, EPAC, fahrrad, fatbike, fiet, fixed gear, fixie, freedom machine, fyts, gaali, handcycle, hardtail, hetsaniv, high wheeler, hobby-horse, HPV, hybrid, ibhayisikili, icugutu, igare, iron horse, jajeongeo, jalgratas, jitensha, jízdní, joker, keke, kerékpár, klunker, kolo, keirin, keke, lemon peeler, mama-chari, mixte, mountain bike, MTB, njinga, omafiet, opafiet, orange krate, paesekela, paikikala, paihikara, pedalcar, pedelec, pennyfarthing, pista, ποδήλατο (podílato), polkupyörä, pushbike, quadracycle, rad, randonneur, recumbent, reiðhjól, roadie, roadster, rower, rothar, roti, saikil, sakre, sapédah, scorcher, sepeda, silver steed, singlespeed, stadtrad, steelie, step-through, sykkel, tadpole, tandem, ten-speed, thirsakawr, tricycle, trike, twenty-niner, two-wheeler, uila vilivae, unadag dugui, VAE, velo, velocipede, velosiped, VTT, wheel, wisikilita, Xe đạp, xikanyakanya, xithuthuthu, zitensya, and zìxíngchē with numerous variations thereof. Labann lists thousands of tradenames, plus multiple models under each, a surplus of sobriquets.

Since internet postings only ever offer subsets, Labann merged brand lists from all over, without prejudice for marketshare or origin. Only requirement for inclusion was independent corroboration; some once cited didn’t appear to exist after investigation, or turned out to be retail outlets only. Given bike forums, book barrages, life experiences, and Google searches, it’s disappointing no one bothered to capture this entirely, an affront to millions of craftspersons and factory workers who provided the cleanest form of transportation over last 2 centuries. No wonder it took 5 years to compile this homage, another long list, along with discography, filmography, and terminology. There would be no bicycling culture without buyers and makers.

Labann’s List augments Bike&Chain’s appendices, covers 6,800 brands but not models, describes histories and products sold, and summarizes extent of what, when, where, who, but not ineffable why, which even Jean-Paul Sartre, see below, struggled with. It’s a solid first pass. Despite every effort to be comprehensive, entries may have been limited by bad business practices of makers too coy, disreputable, or timid to disclose own information. At end of list a bibliography provides several links to more extensive resources, none that demand cookie installation or personal information just to find simple facts, because historical data and marketing details loose in public domain should be freely accessible.

Spreadsheet bolds brands with greatest influence, though every entry, however obscure or pusillanimous, affected acceptance to some degree and served its purpose. Such a survey feels like meeting thousands of likeminded individuals, or not, when makers, often Chinese, don’t want to acknowledge minion or reveal country of origin. Unlike a database, this list can simply be searched or scrolled to find what you’re looking for. For collectors, the most sought out units are legendary, oldest and rarest, though a painting depicting a bicycle can accrue value quicker than bike itself.

Boundaries are lame excuses, but even encyclopedias overlook minutia outside their scope, so only included complete assemblages, components, supplies, and tools, not beverages, food, random stuff you might carry, scooters, skateboards, or unicycles, which are not bicycles or tricycles. If you abbreviate or encapsulate something enormous, fools think that’s all there is, yet too much information ages a list faster. Complexity and extent induce fear and stress. Facts set in stone may make historians comfy, but who can rely on anything said? Some current industry lists may delve deeper. Brand names are seldom repeated, even intentionally. Rarely is any cyclist interested in all equally, often content to limit involvement to only a few. At least own consolidates scores of other lists, may expand consciousness or open investigations, and was disseminated for free.

“When it comes to bicycles, I often find that truth is more of a stranger than fiction.”—Mike Sweatman, Disraeli Gears

Does where a bike is made matter less than how it’s made, or what it consists of, or who built it? A purely monetary approach might mean dealing with distributors who source from slavers overseas, thereby not supporting local workers, who then get laid off, so steal your bicycle to trade for necessities. Custom builds require your presence as if having a suit tailored. Some builders became legendary by figuring out how to make bikes go faster, last longer, and work better. Others deserve to be called out as charlatans, incompetents, or thieves. Internet scams are rampant, tempting low prices for equipment never delivered despite hefty downpayment.

Disclaimer: Details are from best input and latest intel, not guaranteed accurate, complete, or current. To reiterate, “Complete is a term used only by isolated idiots who ignore linguistics and locales.” You must include Africa and Asia, think America to New Zealand, track from today to yesteryear. No disrespect is intended by errors or exclusions, though you can see how premier brands might not want to be linked with budget or hobby offerings. “Discontinued” doesn’t mean never to be revived, nor still desirable and widely sold, particularly frames, often easily restored. NOS (New Old Stock) is a viable business among resellers serving restorers. Supply chain shortfalls of COVID pandemic pushed businesses to the brink and over. World wars likewise ended a number of brands. Yet lately there’s been a rush to profit off latest electrical and material tech.

Issues over identifying brand names abound. A brand might imply a reputation for quality not necessarily preserved after business was acquired, divested, or merged. Some actually build, i. e., Bianchi, versus procure, i. e., Gucci. Some are strictly OEM, furnish components or entire bicycles, but have no brand presence in markets, i. e., United Bicycle. Many only distribute locally, have no sales network, rely on websites or word-of-mouth. Can you even call one-offs “brands” at all? Bespoke, custom, handmade fabricators individually match bicycles to needs, but can easily be confused with distributors and local bike shops, who assemble units, collect input, go between, but never personally manufacture, per se. Purists and those who pedal for exercise might exclude electric assisted bikes altogether as motored rather than self propelled, thereby generating controversies on bikeways.

Brand names come from many sources. Could be an acronym, distributor fancy, function of bike material, maker surname, marketing nonsense, mythical character, name of some champion who had nothing to do with manufacture, place of origin, person who built, shop that sourced then sold, stolen from another brand, or whatnot. Almost 2 dozen were tagged Royal, obviously not built by monarchy. Some manufacturers slap dozens of different names on same product to see which one competes best for marketshare. As if shorthand, bicyclists usually refer to components by models and skip brands, i.e., Chorus, not Campagnolo, or Dura Ace, not Shimano. Consumers alternately and indiscriminately call assembled units by attached badge/decal or name of distributor/manufacturer. Consider this a quest to sort it all out.

What do birds, cats, frogs, pigs, or stingrays have to do with cycling? Bees, bicyclists, bike builders, and birds either flock together or fly solo. Collectively, they unintentionally accompany one another so often it disturbs when they don’t. Anyway, bicycles you see leaning beside or rolling by roadside will never be a single brand, but an amalgam of many. Without benefits of mass production, bespoke makers must charge twice as much, not such a bad thing since it spreads wealth. Although frames might last a lifetime, every other component will likely need replacement, some several times, such as brake shoes, cables, cassettes, chains, spokes, tires, tubes, and wheels.

Makers made famous by champion endorsements contrast with nobodies whom they’ve encouraged, squeegee wretches desperate to clear windshields separating drivers from bicyclists. Successful old time makers were often directly tied to rubber tire and steel tubing suppliers; thereby one stimulated sales for the other. Distributors and retailers might have house brands they promote alongside others for which they are licensed to assemble. Descriptions get really murky with company acquisitions, incessant change, joint ventures, leveraged buyouts, and successive mergers. Consolidations and takeovers ended some diehards resting on laurels and swindling investors. Industry has always had a convoluted history with drudgery and sweat taken for granted by consumers, insurers, owners, public, regulators, and tax revenuers. Nevertheless, you’ve got to acknowledge millions of burns, broken bones, bruises, busts, cuts, and scrapes it took to put 4 billion bikes on the road to date.

"To possess a bicycle is to be able first to look at it, then to touch it. But touching is revealed as being insufficient; what is necessary is to be able to get on the bicycle and take a ride. But this gratuitous ride is likewise insufficient; it would be necessary to use the bicycle to go on some errands. And this refers us to longer uses ... But these trips themselves disintegrate into a thousand appropriative behavior patterns, each one of which refers to others. Finally, as one could foresee, handing over a bank note is enough to make the bicycle belong to me, but my entire life is needed to realize this possession. In acquiring the object, I perceive that possession is an enterprise which death always renders still unachieved... In making use of my bicycle, I use it up—wear it out; that is, continuous appropriative creation is marked by a partial destruction. This wear can cause distress for strictly practical reasons, but in the majority of cases it brings a secret joy, almost like the joy of possession; this is because it is coming from us—we are consuming. It should be noted that the word “consume” holds the double meaning... To consume is to annihilate and it is to eat; it is to destroy by incorporating into oneself. If I ride on my bicycle, I can be annoyed at wearing out its tires because it is difficult to find others to replace them; but the image of enjoyment which my body invokes is that of a destructive appropriation, of a ‘creation-destruction.’ The bicycle gliding alone, carrying me, by its very movement, is created and made mine; but this creation is deeply imprinted on the object by the light, continued wear which is impressed on it and which is like the brand on the slave. The object is mine because it is I who have used it; the using up of what is mine is the reverse side of my life.“—Jean-Paul Sartre, L'Être et le néant [Being and Nothingness], 1943

World’s biggest current retailers, either through e-commerce websites or multiple stores (or both), include but are not limited to:
Amazon, number one retailer of everything, founded in 1994 to sell books, now a reliable conduit among consumers, importers, makers, and sellers
Bicycle Warehouse, since 1992, West Coast, USA
Bike Exchange, since 2007, 223 stores across USA
Chain Reaction Cycles, since 1984, Wiggle-CRC Group (subsidiary of Signa Sports), UK
Conte’s, since 1957, Baltimore, MD, USA
Decathlon, since 1976, Europe’s leading bicycle retailer
Dick’s Sporting Goods, since 1948, 850+ Stores, USA
Erik’s Bike Board, since 1980, Midwest, USA
Jenson USA, since 1996
Landry’s Bicycles, since 1922, Massachusetts, USA
Merlin Cycles, UK and USA, since 1993
Mike’s Bikes, since 1964, Marin, California, USA
Nashbar, since 1974; now owned by AMain Sports & Hobbies, Chico, CA, USA
Performance Bicycle, since 1981; once partnered with Nashbar, Chico, CA, USA
Planet Cyclery, Broomfield, CO, USA
REI Co-op, since 1938, 39 US states
Richardson Bike Mart, since 1962, several Texas locations, USA
Sigma Sports, since 1992, UK
Scheels, since 1902, 13 central US states
Trek Bicycle, since 1976, 100+ stores, USA
Wheel & Sprocket, since 1973, Midwest, USA


Lastly, must credit every author, blogger, correspondent, distributor, magazine editor, reporter, and whoever haphazardly and slowly doles out data, usually for a paycheck, sticks their smutty noses into this sweaty business, and summarizes with incomplete lists with some preposterous presumption of copyright ownership of information already in public domain. Bicycle culture and Tour de France was begun by sports magazine publisher Henri Desgrange way back in 1903. Participants tragicomically and transparently try to cement sales and create rivalries. Ignoring them altogether never ends well.

Saturday, October 19, 2024

Ubu Enchaîné

“‘Sir Ubu, the Russians attack.’ ‘Well, what do you want me to do? It wasn’t me who asked them to.’” Playwright scorcher Alfred Jarry, Ubu Roi, 1888

Waiting to see L’Infant Terrible, Ugliest American, Vilest Villain in chains for trying to annul constitution, destroy democracy, and violate laws. Decided who NOT to vote for 25 years ago.

Throw enough ketchup at walls and some will stick; requires no decisive planning whatever. Screeds and tirades against political candidates alienate everyone except like minded belligerents and partisans, and persuade nobody. You may legitimately question whether expressing a biased mindset compromises your own safety. Revenge is a real authoritarian threat. Russian novelists tossed complete manuscripts that criticized regime onto fire, because publishing them meant inviting a death sentence. The end is near; might as well rage on.

Choice before American voters in November of 2024 is progressive capitalism or reactionary fascism, forging forward under constitutional democracy or regressing into totalitarian tragedy.

The affluent seek brutal control since they have the most to lose. They believe fascism will keep them in positions of authority and secure their property, but history berates their abject stupidity. Nazis seized estates of wealthiest supporters, and sent them to concentration camps to die before they could exile abroad or seek redress. If you didn’t earn your wealth, you may fear disloyalty of everyone more experienced and somewhat smarter, when it’s irrational imbeciles you should mistrust. Their zero sum game stems in part from fear of deprivation and part from sadism for others' suffering. Sick sick sick planet Magathreea has a triple-D motto: deceive, divide, dominate. Trump’s candidacy makes a mockery of democracy, exactly how petty impotents Orban and Putin became dictators, by misinforming own people. And, as Pulitzer journalist Bob Woodward reports, politics today is an actual War with civilian casualties.

In America vs. Donald John Trump, the trial of which this 2024 election truly is, defense makes its case first, decades of excuses, failures, and prevarication, but final summation will always be prosecutor’s. Over 20% of expected 180 million turnout, 36 million jurors, so far requested early ballots, 65% of them Democrats; 7 million have already voted. Trump admitted 4 years ago he would run again just to avoid prison. If Harris defeats him, he’ll go down for all 91 indictments to date, though plenty more could follow, such as at least 8 documented violations of Logan Act and treason for revealing CIA assets who were consequentially killed. As a convicted felon and private citizen, Trump has no standing to discuss affairs of state with foreign dictators he admires; on bail in 4 jurisdictions, he’s not even allowed to travel outside country’s borders.

With 34 years in public service, 21 in elected offices as attorney general, US senator, and vice president, Kamala Harris is nation’s second most qualified presidential candidate in its history after Biden’s half century. Despite prior RNC spokesperson Alex Conant’s assertion,“We should not elect somebody as untested and inexperienced as Obama,” Trump followed as only candidate with zero military or political experience. His 3 years in office, when not away golfing for almost an entire year, still makes him the least.

For false promises and a fee, evil televangelist Paula White delivered her evangelical flock to this amoral oaf full of poisonous lust for presidential power. After given a chance to lead Christians, he screwed them repeatedly. He justified it saying,“People love to hate, so I’ll give them a target.” Since then, 4 known assassination attempts, possibly more unknown, by former followers have been thwarted by an expanded Secret Service squad generously granted by Biden administration.

GOP relies on numerous conservative think tanks creating policy for them, including American Enterprise Institute, Cato Institute, Christian Nationalists, and Heritage Foundation. All remorselessly favor affluence and privilege and toss challenged, middle class, and poor to the wolves. Takes a lot of talk to pull wool over majority’s eyes. Liberals also have a few, Center for American Progress, Progressive Policy Institute, and Roosevelt Institute, but mostly feel they don't need a hard sell, since their policies tend to be fair and inclusive rather than divisive and exclusive. Christian Nationalism is a disguise for fascist socialism, Nazis in smiley masks. Christ's only involved as a conceptual cudgel to beat pious saps into believing that a possessed demon who brags of breaking all 7 Deadly Sins without remorse redeems a convicted felon found guilty for obvious crimes and headed to jail.

Last lifelong New York crime lord Don the Con and his Art of the Deal sees every transaction as another chance to cheat and steal. Trump responds to any rebuke in his demented 4th grade, "I know you are but what am I," nadir of logic. He won’t stop because he gets airtime whenever he wants; fends off every accusation with a fictional narrative; is desperate to avoid prison; makes outrageous claims such as “Blacks love me; I’ve done more for them than anyone,” or “I’m the father of IVF,” or fatal January 6th insurrection was "A Day of Love," his personal Woodstock; owns a media company that spins whatever’s said about him into another gelt grift. Weaponized DOJ? (Garland‘s not even a BB gun.) Witch hunt? (No need to “trump up” charges with so many real crimes to prosecute.) He’s the one who wants to weaponize government sending military against opponents to quell free speech.

Who swallows myth of Trump’s business acumen? It’s a string of 6 bankruptcies and scores of convictions for statute violation and tax evasion. Why sell bibles, crypto currency, digital images, self medallions, ugly sneakers, and wait watches if he's so rich? Buyers underwrite the billion he owes in judgments, legal fees, and shortfall in campaign donations. Had he only put his inheritance into an index fund, he’d be worth triple his claimed $4 billion net worth. How do you fail to profit from a casino? Closer investigation would likely discover he exited that way to skip prosecution and stiff creditors after laundering money, offshoring assets, and stashing wealth.

What’s his attraction? Why aren't all who've abided decades of his blatant frauds, false claims, interminable rambles, sneaky cheats, and word salad sick to death of him? You’d think this creepy, unpopular, “weird-old” WWII relic would get the message and quit campaigning. Is it a combover, ramble, or weave? Every word from this convicted felon is a grievance, a lie, or a threat. His babble seduces to draw you in just before he murders, rapes, or screws you. He speaks to lonely hearts and losers, who yearn for morsels of attention, and worst among population, who seek validation for their malefaction. Sets the bar so low roaches can crawl over it. Those enthralled expect almost nothing of him, yet nit pick opponents over every detail. As his day of reckoning approaches, he has turned up extortion warnings and menace messaging to extremes, “Invasion, upheaval, and WWIII without me.” Framing arguments in absolutes is a symptom of his narcissistic personality disorder.

Trump appeared in about 500 rallies over 25 years of campaigning, boasting he had biggest audiences ever, more than Martin Luther King’s historic I Have a Dream speech, and presented live to more attendees than anyone in history, perhaps a million total, 0.3% of Americans. Not even close. Grateful Dead did 2,300 concerts over 30 years with biggest solo crowd of 107,019, and, of course, over 450,000 at Woodstock, way more than 5 million fans total. And they weren’t the most popular live music act in history, far short of Taylor Swift’s ticket sales during 604 shows spanning 20 years, 4.4 million on 60 dates of Eras Tour alone. He has to pay and plant phony firefighters, soldiers, and union members who were really RNC operatives at revival rallies and town hall meetings to fool onlookers and pad attendance.

Opposition’s drumbeats are immigration and inflation. After Obama handed Trump 6 years of job growth and less than 0.5% inflation, 24 months later it spiked at 3%, dipping only due to COVID, when nationwide economy stumbled with GDP down $1 trillion upon longest government shut down in history and 3 million lost jobs. Also during 2020, fentanyl deaths, gun sales, senseless murders, and 1,700 school shootings set unprecedented numbers, public debt jumped $8 trillion with nothing to show for it, and supply chains collapsed, reasons Trump wasn’t reelected and left with lowest presidential rating ever. Under Biden-Harris, inflation continued to climb to 3.7% before being doggedly beaten down to 2.4%, lower than Trump’s peak, much faster than inflation in all other industrial countries. Biden took Trump’s advice and Made America Great Again with best economy this century, biggest cuts in joblessness, huge improvements for neglected infrastructure, resurrection of manufacturing, and stock market indices at all time highs. US GDP grew by $2 trillion with nearly 5 million new jobs, and public debt was curbed by trillions. The Economist confirms, “The American economy has left other rich countries in the dust.” Yet current voters, having absorbed an aggregate of 21% rise in consumer costs since Bush's term, seem to have developed amnesia as to why it occurred. Biden-Harris didn't invent inflation, around for centuries, but Trump has many believing these facts of global life are either fake or someone else's fault. Neither did he take responsibility for his administration's mishandling of pandemic.

Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich listed the 75 worst things Trump did in office, though arguably there were 750 more worth considering. These are not the acts of public servants, rather what crime syndicates and mob bosses do if they can get away with it. No previous American president ever needed to seek Supreme Court intervention, but House can still impeach justices and president for treason and violations of oaths of office, while Senate can convict and sentence them. He accuses current administration for inflation that his party keeps high for crisis perception and dissdent punishment.

Trump demonizes legal immigrants and radical left as bad genes, dangerous lunatics, enemy within, execrable vermin, general menace, and racial poison, and says they are to blame for greatness lost, when all that exactly describes MAGA assets and midnight agents he empowers to attack anyone who makes him look bad, break laws, and terrorize public. Capitol police, election workers, and families of opponents have been assaulted and injured. Decades of GOP influence begat congressional gridlock on important issues, loss of personal rights, transfer of $50 trillion of tax revenues to oligarchs, and weakness on world stage. Not Trump alone, all MAGA office holders are culpable - particularly Cruz, Graham, Greene, Johnson, Kennedy, McConnell, and Vance - therefore warrant recall and sanctions. Trump told them to vote down a bipartisan bill to address issue because perception of a migrant crisis serves as a campaign stump. This alleged illegal invasion accounts for less than 1% of population. Immigration during Obama’s 8 years was less than Trump’s 1 year spike in 2020; he opened border intentionally after all his tough talk of building a wall, really a permeable fence, purely as a political tactic. Since 2000, hispanic minority has indeed steadily doubled from 10% to 20%, with other ethnicities up by single digit rates; white majority shrank 15% to about 62% of overall population. The only citizens who object are white supremacists, while reasons this occurred are numerous and varied, though a healthy economy will always attract workers who want to contribute to country’s revenues, fill empty positions, and improve their lives. Citizens of a country are not enemies of themselves, they are the country itself.

When racists use the word "that" instead of "who" to describe people, it dehumanizes them. Trump saying "people 'that' are coming" are cannibals is among the many unhinged assertions that whipped his cult followers into an us versus them frenzy. Legal immigrants over last decade total about 21 million, about 7% of US population; among small undocumented subset no evidence suggests they are criminals or lunatics, an argument that goes back to boat people scare of 1975, propagated by, guess who, xenophobe Trump. Yes, an accumulated 45 million immigrants from all over now live in USA, the vast majority of whom are naturalized, including Trump's and Vance's wives. Immigrants already made America great, a fact that interferes with a neo-Nazi delusional dream to deport, enslave, exterminate, impoverish, and subjugate.

A consensus of hundreds of psychologists diagnoses Trump as a malignant narcissist, among the most severe of personality disorders: amoral, dishonest, lacking any empathy, and only in it for himself. Presidential historians rate his term as the nadir of American leadership: an eclipse of reason devoid of substance, fewest accomplishments, most divisive, the worst. He’d replace Pentagon generals with football coaches and NASCAR drivers. Directors, managers, and senior workforce of every federal agency would be fired and replaced with untrained loyalists, except agencies he'd eliminate altogether, like Department of Education and National Weather Service (because they laughed as his Sharpie redirect of a hurricane and wishes to nuke next one). NASA shows space based facts that nobody needs to know, so has to go. He wants to turn immigrants into unpaid prize fighters for entertainment. The list goes on.

Bigly Liar, Pance on fire, with interchangeable Pence or Vance, two Christo-fascists and Crypto-nudists, Trump did and would dump to install Donny Junior, an unlikable coke head and ticket drag who could never win even a token vote. As a matter of trust, how can you believe Trump? He bragged of waging the biggest misinformation campaign against Americans in history, got convicted of fraud, has run for office for 25 years under both major parties, and was fact checked to have told 35,000 lies over his 4 year term. If you take him at his word, he promises reprehensible and unconstitutional policies and virtual dictatorship aided by a his radical cult members. Freedom never means you can do anything you want, only what’s legal and responsible. Free speech excludes boldfaced lying, falsifying documents, fear mongering, inciting criminality, meanly pranking, outright perjuring, or testifying falsely.

While few want a dysfunctional democracy, only true deplorables who are cruelly delusional or deeply disturbed would replace it with totalitarian dictatorship. They'd accept corruption, insults, and negativity. GOP playbook has always been to bully, filibuster all legislation to create gridlock, gaslight; play race card, sex shame, then only discuss important issues to make unsupportable vague promises that won't go anywhere, or simply echo what's already been said by opponents that got a rise out of voters. Neocons created a series of recessions whenever they controlled congress, courts, or presidency. To squeeze grip on power, Nixon undermined journalism, Reagan busted unions, Bushes incited wars to funnel finances into warfare mills owned by cronies. Trump embezzled $8 trillion from treasury, and stuffed offshore accounts of oligarchs and self.

Build Back Better added and restored bike paths, highways, roads, and side streets long neglected by Republicans intent on impeding your mobility choices and impoverishing middle class. Speaking at Old Forge, Pennsylvania, Trump ridiculed Biden and Kerry, saying, “I’ll never be riding a bicycle,” defensively dispelling any worries over basic balance, bicyclists’ tan, or chronic infirmity, but not implausible injuries, “I’m not getting hurt riding a bicycle,” as if that did you a favor. So anti-bike is Old Bones Spurs who thereby dodged the draft, he initiated legislation to permit motorized uses of bike/pedestrian paths.

Trump’s a lazy slob in a sloppy suit and MAGA tie left too long, like a toddler who's guardians ought to know better. Ties stop at your waist, not crotch. He won’t disclose his college transcript, current health, or tax filings, probably hiding some truly damning disqualifiers. Furthermore, his henchmen raided doctor’s office to remove dismal records, though a heart stent merits concern, Irritable Bowel Syndrome is well smelt, and sociopathy confirmed by a consensus of certified psychiatrists. Nobody takes a cognitive test unless dementia is suspected. Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac; you have to be really impotent to want it as much as Trump. Defensive Don called Doctor Harris, “A bitch, crazy, garbage, and low IQ.” Contradicts what dropout Trump hates most about her: an accomplished, competent, sane, and successful prosecutor.

An aged joker who would be king hopes you’ll vote for his celebrity status and comic presence out of exhaustion, identification, or sympathy rather than your own best interests. He resonates with antisocial scum, billionaire coconspirators, ignorant losers, paid propagandists, and triggered paranoiacs. He’s worshipped by antisemites, convicts, cretins, crooks, cultists, dupes, homophobes, misogynists, numbskulls, racists, rapists, and xenophobes just like him. His Royal MAGA-sty is only fit for swine. They should ask themselves, "Do I think I could handle being president?" By any measure both he and they are unfit for any role in public service. Based on his past acts nearly every other demographic deems him a dire threat and despises him: America’s 65 million bicyclists; business leaders and corporate CEOs; ecologists and environmentalists; educated and empathetic crowd; entertainers who didn’t endorse him; European allies; first responders; former cabinet members, military generals, staffers, and vice president; free press and journalists; Gold Star families; government agencies and intelligence assets; healthcare community; Latino, Middle, North and South Americans; muslims and non-christians; patients with diabetes or other preexisting diseases; physically handicapped; people of color; professors and teachers; protestors; retired pensioners; recipients of Medicare, Social Security, or TANF/SNAP; soldiers and veterans; union rank and file; unwed women and unsupported mothers; wage earners across all industry sectors; and youth in schools. More than half of population should represent too many individuals to avenge, deport, or exterminate.

Criminals who’ve been investigated by justice department want him to succeed. Pledging loyalty is a scammer’s route to maximal loot without scrutiny. FCC and SEC violations flourished under Dubya Bush, enabling Fox and Newsmax nonstop propaganda and green lighting stock swindles with shareholders cheated out of trillions in dividends and equity value. The dead and disinterested eyes of Cruz, Greene, infotainment spokespeople, Murdoch’s murder of crows, Sean Hannity, Sebastian Gorka, Steve Bannon, and talking heads betray their bitter deceit and faithless fury. He’s never won a court case or popular election, just cheated his way in by electoral manipulation through Russian help and voter intimidation. They had to implement new rules, security, and surveillance of polling places because of him. Nobody he endorsed won in the 2022 midterms. Toxic, unmanly, unpopular: Trump's political poison personified.

The only promise his single term delivered was to funnel trillions of tax dollars to billionaires, including payoffs to foreign dictators to whom he owed billions, through 145 unilateral executive orders, having signed the least representative bills ever. “Infrastructure Week" was a cruel joke that waited 4 years for Biden to invoke. Biden decreased illegal immigration, deported over 1 million, while statistics show that 99% of crimes are caused by country’s own citizens with 95% of domestic crimes and terrorist acts directly attributable to radical right and Russian mob, to which Trump has strong ties. The main reason life is more expensive was his response to pandemic destroyed supply chains, while he encouraged Big Oil, Big Three, and other corporations run by same billionaires who gouge consumers and take record profits at public’s expense, done to cause fear and connive his reelection.

MAGA’s efforts to route dark money and stack Supreme Court are patently illegal and totally unconstitutional. No president ever required or sought absolute immunity for anything, especially not mass deportation, obnoxious sedition, and specious prosecution. You had to know this was coming after nobody from ENRON or Wall Street was indicted for cheating investors out of billions. Now one thousand billionaires have formed an oligarchy covertly ruling 330 million unaware Americans, who don’t want any page of 900 full of repressive policies they plan, including stripping constitutional, educational, entertainment, retirement, reproductive, and voting rights. There would be no e-commerce, internet encyclopedias, Truth Social, or X-tweets without access to information and bait of pornography. Trump’s no danger to deep state or shadow government, but surely an existential threat to ordinary citizens. His VP replacement called him "America’s Hitler", then figured that’s what America needs, a cruel dictator, so said, “Sieg heil!” and started goose stepping behind. Own generals call him “fascist to the core”. Dis-aster is not belittling a Fall flower, it’s what an authoritarian regime ushers in.

Americans used to expect candidates to be paragons of virtue. Logically and morally bankrupt, Trump owes a billion in court judgments against him, legal fees, and venue rentals he refused to pay. Nationwide nobody would post his bail. Paid off billions in loans from Putin and Saudis with secret documents, for which he’s also been indicted. His defense was to appoint judges who stalled cases until after election, then whine about being the most investigated individual since Alphonse Capone, and not without solid evidence that should terrify entire planet.

Trump humps flags because this rapist/stalker serial psycho "loves" to assault America, a country mired in a civil war of his making between MAGA “inhumans” and alleged liberal “unhumans” as Jack Posobiec feverishly reimagines them. The ultimate in Bronzed Aged megalomania, Don-old wants to be considered an ancient god able to do whatever he wants on a throne above AR-15 and Bullet Crown crowd. When he dies he wants everyone to die with him in a mass sacrifice. There’s no such thing as enlightened autocracies, as his supporters assume. Even if there were, dictators would actually have to be a quantum leap smarter than those being ruled, not just be convinced they are. Among American politicians, only Transportation Director Pete Buttigieg meets such criteria, and he isn’t running, yet.

Role of POTUS is chief public servant. Why then is he running? To exploit Biden’s revenue success to pillage more? Party politics no longer work like they once did, evenly divided voters, half Democrat and half Republican. Over 75% are now liberal or moderate. Trump only represents 15% on radical right, an extreme splinter mob that uses criminal tactics to hold onto power, so must somehow con 36% unaffiliated and 29% neither. Recipe for fascism: Consolidate power in a single dictator surrounded by an oligarchy; steal everything not nailed down (unlike $3.8 trillion Social Security trust fund, which they plan to take next); use wealth ($8 trillion during 45's term) to wage war against own people, cower them into submission; round up undesirables (disloyal), deport en masse, and murder as a final solution. Russia’s power play is to get morons to believe nonsense. Putin is desperate to discredit democracy, because his autocracy is failing. With hundreds of thousands of army age males fleeing homeland, and war on Ukraine going about as well as Afghanistan, Putin doesn't want his remaining subjects figuring out he's a failure and fraud. DOJ and FBI caught RT red handed paying social media stooges to sway USA’s national election for their favorite puppet, Ubu Trump. NATO must eventually align to neutralize threat after massive death and destruction.

For all the civic impoverishment and ruined lives Trump left in his half century wake, perhaps the worse is the cumulative stress it had on cardiovascular health and mental sanity, all the more reason to ride a bicycle for its mood boost. Duning-Kruger effect sees MAGA cultists using slurs as “low information” against prudent opponents not thoroughly brainwashed by nonstop agitprop. Trump’s responsible for the rise of “woke" as a pejorative, which is the opposite of his degeneracy. Jennifer Welch of I Had It Podcast calls out their “buzzword bullshit” of screaming trigger words instead of promoting unifying principles, of which MAGA has none.

“Woke" has become a joke meant only to gaslight and provoke. GOP hurls DEI around as if it's terrible. Diversity creates new markets. Money-grubbers sell equities, shares in systems everyone operates within. Inclusion? GOP is a minority party with only 25% voter affiliation; fact anyone abides their presence is a mystery given they are so eager to exclude. Difficult to relate to those for whom The Calculus only means a pebble in their sandal. The 7 Corporal Works of Mercy are to act charitably, bury the dead with dignity, feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, shelter homeless in entirety, visit convicts in a penitentiary, and visit those suffering from infirmity... woke to the core. Access to education and information enables, yet the cultured, educated, and literate still find it next to impossible to convince deplorables to act in everyone’s best interests and not vote for relentless recidivists.

A tenet of comedy is to portray absurdity. Trumpkins embrace atrocious, bizarre, criminal, diabolical, horrid, and monstrous. Not to hop on some bandwagon, MAGA isn't just “weird”, it's creepy, enraged, humorless, invasive, nefarious, perverted, and sadistic. “I’ll be your protector... women won’t have to worry about abortions.” GOP wants to be an army of elephants in your pajamas. Hard to believe holier-than-thou Christian Nationalists irrationally love their Cheeto Jesus, the very personification of The 7 Deadly Sins: Envy (better than Lincoln), gluttony (wolves down tons of MacDonalds and KFC), greed (embezzled trillions from public treasury), lust (cheated on wives with porn stars), pride (without me, catastrophe), sloth (golfed away half his term), and wrath (angry at everything, especially when economy outperforms his doom scenario). Higher Liar at end stage dementia cheers when stock market self corrects with profit sell-offs or slight hiccups that suit his red flag narrative. No one ever saw him actually open bible he sells; he’d probably burst into flames. If it isn't bad built, rage 'roid bimbo jerks like MTG, it's botox, collagen injected, face lifted, mascara man phonies butt kissing their grease painted, girdled pinched ex-POTUS, who, after running for office since 1999, has never won a popular ballot, and must feel justified in rigging elections.

Kindhearted kids expressing concern are not going to topple conservatives. You have to go armed with elephant rifles and rpg’s against their rampaging herd. These dopes are going to find their schemes backfire. They inadvertently gave Joe Biden complete immunity, while Kamala Harris fills Pence’s 2020 role. Even if Trump somehow gets reelected, Biden and Harris can negate electoral results, have Seal Team Six grab him before he escapes to his Venezuela estate, and sack SCOTUS Six, so Harris can restore balance to the courts. Dark Brandon, indeed. Con te partirò, Mr. Trump. He plays this song at rallies but probably doesn’t know what it means, “Time to say goodbye.” Next on his play list is YMCA; The Village People represented LGBTQ+, yet MAGA refuses to recognize them, vilifies them, and wants to purge them from society.

Fools who fall for false equivalencies, for example, “Don’t forgive student loans unless you first honor veterans,” can’t seem to understand that government handles thousands of diverse transactions every second. A trained army of agency employees make sure you hardly notice their steady service to which most feel entitled. They address and fund needs as constitution and laws provide. It’s never some Malthusian choice between national defense and social security, 2 separate buckets. But their competence is Trump’s first target, vowing to replace them all. AI servant Yuval Harari opined, “Ignorance by itself is not too dangerous. If you combine it with power, this is a toxic mix.” Facts are MAGA's kryptonite.

Silver lining? Trump exposed scale of greed, misogyny, racism, white supremacy, and xenophobia that still exists, and vicious 15% of population, criminals and mental defectives who belong in prison or on medication. As a textbook case, Trump also demonstrated how to identify antisocial personality and malignant narcissism to a degree seldom seen in leadership roles. Suppose greed appeals to someone who burnt through billions, knows desperation to regain status, though his embarrassment can't be compared to plight of 99% of Americans he made poorer. Millions of deaths later, Trump reveals how stupid policies can be a deadly threat to a vulnerable population. Points out the need to actually prosecute and duly process felons before they can do more harm to society.

Men I Trust, Lauren, single, self, 2016: “Rather chase a gentle breeze, set my thoughts by taller trees, ‘cause I can’t stay forever by my window. I need whispers that make me move, riding the country... Sync me within the outside world.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2024

Hunger Campaign

“I eat to ride, I ride to eat... On the road, I can get about twelve miles to a quart of milk and a piece of baker's apple tart.” Daniel Behrman, The Man Who Loved Bicycles: The Memoirs of an Autophobe (Harper, 1973). Half a century later Danish chef Morten Kryger Wulff completes this picture by bringing kitchen to you on his Cykelkokken Tricycle.

Professional racers on grand tours do consume berries, carbs, fats, fruits, and meats, along with caffeine gels boosting performance without chancing disqualification. Less obsessed bicyclists count down weekdays as Mount-day, Too-Tired, Wield-Dream, Thigh-Burn, Fried Legs, Sat-Down-to-Stay, Sun-Dazed, all the while hungry and unsatisfied.

In a recent French film, Grenoble Criminal Squad’s Captaine Yohan Vivés (Bastien Bouillon) investigates a tragic murder that occurred on The Night of the 12th (Dominik Moll, dir., 2022). Despite 3 years of overturning stones and ruminating at a velodrome, he still can’t solve it. Suspects are numerous but have ironclad alibis. Police partner Marcel (Bouli Lanners) advises Yohan to escape his cycle training’s circular confines and take on real roads. In final scene he tackles Col de la Croix de Fer (Iron Cross Pass) in the Alps, which was featured 21 times in Tour de France. This deliberate yearning drama won César and Lumières Awards in several categories.

In 2018 United Nations General Assembly recognized historic and persistent benefits and sustainability of bicycling by naming June 3rd annual World Bicycle Day. International Year of the Bicycle occurred a decade and a half ago in 2009. US Congress issued Codes of Federal Regulations 35 years ago in 1990 mandating infrastructure improvements to accommodate bicyclists everywhere. Yet too little has been done in compliance.

America’s coverage of 111th Tour de France was underwhelming with broadcasts only accessible from costly streaming services. Had to get condensed summaries of each stage from official Le Tour site, hours later, not live. Wondering whether that was because automotive and oil interests don't want Americans noticing how hundreds of athletes racing over 2,100 miles in 3 weeks in slightly over 83 hours proved faster than motoring at nation’s de facto 25 mph speed limit, unless otherwise marked, on bubblegum paved, pothole pocked, speed bumped secondary streets resembling over-chomped licorice.

Grateful lately that bipartisan Build Back Better Bill provided so many statewide segments of newly resurfaced roads to enjoy, one way to dispose of refinery sludge after America ramped up oil drilling in 2020 while eliminating economic and environmental safeguards long held with historic consequences in devastating hurricanes. But smooth stretches mean motorists react with ever more impatience and menace toward cyclists, increasing paranoia and phobia while going nowhere in particular.

Mattie Lubchansky cartoon panel: Nonbinary? Seems more like standing alongside angels.

USDOE policy used to be to import oil for as long as possible, let other nations drain their own wells, only produce enough for a strategic reserve to ensure availability and lower prices, seek alternatives while subsidizing producers, then wean off imports altogether when time was right. Dwindling resources incite diplomatic and geopolitical disagreements, instigate wars, and invite destruction only reparable through more costly efforts than fuel conveniences were intended to avoid. Peace requires balanced and cooperative approaches. If you settle on only one, you write your own death scenario.

Beginning in 1960’s, in collusion with Big Oil, NRA, and other mega-donors, Republican minority applied economic terrorism and regressive propaganda to test how public would tolerate food shortages, rights infringements, school shootings, and social subjugation, thereby signaling advent of authoritarianism. They artificially and intentionally create unreal perceptions of crises and force fed them to gullible citizens.

Real consequences for everyone come from ill advised right wing policies designed to crush middle class wage earners, a zero sum game where losers and perps alike all die or suffer, even trillionaire beneficiaries of society’s largess. Appeals to outrage?

When pump prices rise through greedy schemes and refinery closings, all necessities being transported follow suit: food, goods, heat, and services. Americans bounced back from a pandemic better than most other industrial countries, where inflation remains worse. Nevertheless, premium markets including Whole Foods are crowded with folks spending whole paychecks on weekly groceries because Amazon owns them and gouges customers buying same food in different supermarket packaging.

Presidents don't directly affect pricing, but congressional policies do indirectly. Inflation began under Trump after he botched COVID response, disrupted supply chains, embezzled $8 trillion from treasury, and tanked stock markets. Despite fierce Republican opposition, Biden-Harris did as well as they could to deport a million illegal immigrants, mitigate migration issues, put people back to work, raise equity exchanges to historic highs, reduce deficit by half, and restore economy, so GOP can plan to steal more. Democrats clean up after Republican messes and recessions, indisputable under Reagan, Bush, Bush and Trump administrations. Each time GOP regains control of congress, courts, or executive branch, they accuse other party for disasters they routinely cause, then lie outright and rig situation to look as if they were saviors.

Boomers who aren’t already senile are the only generation of voters who notice this repeating pattern. Some voters seem convinced they were better off 5 years ago with body bag and toilet tissue shortages amidst chaos, consistent fears, frequent funerals, and self imposed isolation. Voters might recall best moments and suppress painful memories, but too often attribute both to wrong causes or timelines.

Don-Old Trump belongs to WWII generation, now running as the oldest presidential candidate in nation’s history, a fact that convinced Biden to drop his bid voluntarily, having already vowed he’d serve as a transition to future, younger leadership. It's not being ageist to expect The Leader of Free World to be healthy enough to fulfill demands of office, especially when his henchmen raided doctor's practice so his records could be hidden. With hundreds of psychiatrists warning of his dementia and physical decline, voters need to know who they are hiring to represent them.

Normal people give up trying to understand. Everyone has a hole in their swing, a blindspot they aren’t aware of, a certain vulnerability pitchers and predators exploit. Soloists don’t win team sport championships; takes entire group working collectively. Countries have to end executive contracts with old but popular players, put aside historic prejudices to move forward, and send worthless nags out to country club pastures to walk aimless and bored.

Has Labann ensured his voice is heard through written word? Being on internet and list servers for 3 decades, blogging for 2, capturing zeitgeist, demonstrating facts, and exposing deceits counts for naught. Peeps seem to read social feed to exclusion of blogs and other outdated media such as chapter books and newspapers. Truth has been under attack for decades. Vacuous podcasts do exist to stumble upon, but long messages have no chance against delicious soundbites and pithy slogans among average audiences. Too many leave in-depth analyses to infotainment liars paid handsomely to deceive voters.

You can’t demand to be seen, but why not always wear bright clothing? Could visibility be improved by wearing jockey silks? Maybe cyclists should choose giant red and white checks, or Mondrian rectilinear blue, white, and yellow patterns. Unfortunately, during an election year you might be mistaken for one of countless campaign signs posted alongside streets in so many homeowners' yards, and wind up just as ignored until under some vehicle's wheels.

Ethnologist and Technographist Dr. R Niranjchanadevi Nirvvi expertly collected over 50 classic Hindi and Tamil film clips and songs directly connected to bicycling never before cited here. Distance and time beget obliviousness. South Asian bicyclists of that era appear to have endured little pressure from motorists, and enjoyed tree lined lanes lightly trafficked on their romantic liaisons.

Here are 15 more likewise overlooked songs:
Bicycle, Love of the Wheel, Wheels, Ted M Clements, 2020

Bicycles, Beach Youth, Second, self, 2019

Buppa, Cycle Banditos Illegal [Hungarian hip-hop], Royal Fixi Club, self, 2011
Buppa, Royal Fixi Club Pt 1 [Hungarian hip-hop], Royal Fixi Club, self, 2011
Buppa, Royal Fixi Club Pt 2 [Hungarian hip-hop], Royal Fixi Club, self, 2011

Early B, Wheely Wheely [reggae], single, Tuff Gong Music, 1984

Elliot Park, Bicycle, Just Be, self, 2018

Janek Gwizdala, Bicycles [guitar jazz instrumental], Motion Picture, Second, self, 2014

Jared Minetola, Handlebars, single, self, 2023

Johnny and the Raindrops, Life Is Better on a Bicycle, Swinging in Harmony, Raindrops Rec., 2017

Nikki Forova, Bicycles, single, self, 2022: “There was a girl with the red bicycle... a boy with the yellow bicycle... Living in the now. Oooh! Adrenaline was pumping through their veins, all swept away, they were riding.”

Pense-Bete, Le Roi de la Bicyclette, Lune sans Nuit, self, 2015

Suspicious Jazz Roll-Ups, Bicycle Song (feat. Angela Chan), single, self, 2022

Thelma Plum, Baby Blue Bicycle, Meanjin EP, self, 2022: “I wish I had a baby blue bicycle and I’d ride it back to you.”

Tony Green Orchestra, The Bicycle Song, My Sweetheart, 3861577 Records DK, 2024

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Advise? Abstain?

Anxious to be adored? Never speak of money, politics, religion or sex. Cash calls signal anguish and distress. Many are born into divisive partisanship and/or exclusive dogma. Sex is all at once bothersome, coercive, compulsive, disappointing, ego triggering, regrettable, repulsive, uncomfortable, and worrisome, though almost everyone, even monks and nuns, would, risking life-ending STDs and "of all" their tomorrows, indulge in any instance. Divulge the least interest in this hormonal imperative and get labeled a disreputable deviant or media celebrity. Abstain from giving any advice? Why not let people fend for themselves and suffer consequences? Where's the love?

A shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to cry about: If only DOT engineers retained or restored 6 foot road shoulders, cities would be both bike and motor friendly. Roads with 2 travel lanes in either direction, undivided without shoulders, are where most accidents and fatalities occur. One can identify such facts, but readers won’t know what they entail until faced with same situations.

Frank Patterson (1871 - 1952), Good Luck! notices how in 1895 scorchers were ticketed and vilified, but by 1925, at time of this pen and ink illustration, police encouraged bicyclists, even racers pressing hard to win. Now, a century later, bicyclists are marginalized by transportation planners and mistreated by impatient motorists.

In nation’s most congested state staying home out of fear instead of bicycling, can spend hours binge viewing media and perusing splendid images and posters of bicycles and cyclists from yesteryear. Never do what they did. Instead apply meaningful improvements they helped innovate over time, such as cleated shoes and pedals, which avoid feet slipping off platforms and winding up with serous injuries, better than toe clips with straps that catch on shoes and don’t release timely.

Carbs and cars: Poor diets, sedentary habits, and substance abuses kill majority, hundreds of times more than gun violence, infectious diseases, and warfare combined. Began fighting back with a simple Burn and Count Program: Daily diet consisted of 5 vegetable, 4 fruit, 3 dairy, 2 protein (4 ounces max), and 1 whole grain servings, limitless water, but no chips, juices, processed foods, sugar, or sweetened beverages. Moreover, incorporated self propulsion into daily transportation; biked and strode instead of drove. Lost 5 pounds each week before reaching target weight. Starving? Body’s telling you program’s working; drank more water while stomach shrank back to normal size and withdrew fat deposits from waist bank. Didn’t give up a thing, rather traded for a better something.

How many gears does a rider need? Only 3 cassette gears - large, medium and small - but others in between make shifting more reliable and smoother. Peloton refers to front/rear gear combinations by tooth numbers - 52-16 is where Labann’s at on flat - neither high or low gears, nor shifting down or up. Can also get away with just crankset and a Davinci continuously variable transmission rear hub, so one actual gear, as does a fixie, front and rear. Derailleurs can only handle certain cassettes, and limit min-max sizes. While climbing mountains a triple crankset proves crucial, though cantankerous during day-to-day shifting and tough on chains. Clean, lubed chains last longer and may preserve chainrings and gears; wipe with a rag every hundred miles or once a week. Shift into big chain ring more during summer, when unimpeded by extra clothing and long tights. Fly by in single ply. "Gear" might also suggest apparel, helmets, multiple bikes, racks, spare wheels, or tools.

A floor pump stands ready right next to stored bicycle awaiting use. Soft tires lead to flats; thumb-check them before every ride, because they inevitably leak, and pump if they give like a ripe avocado. Over last several years chose lower pressure Kevlar belted tires that don't flat as often or require constant firm up. Pressure min/max figures embossed on sidewalls promise dangers if you exceed. Learn different types of flats (pinches and punctures) and how to avoid and repair them. Anything that interferes with tires gripping pavement - broken glass, cold wet, damp leaves, ice patches, loose gravel, sand shoals, slick tread - can be dangerous and disconcerting. Broken pavement itself can bite carcasses and cause flats.

Which bags work best: frame, handlebar, or saddle? Not that you can't have all three, but why carry all that extra weight? A handlebar bag is practical for retrieving frequently used items, i.e., a smartphone, though some use a phone mount instead, yet a bag up front might impede laminar flow, let stuff rattle around annoyingly, and occupy precious space. Some bags are designed to mount either on handlebars or saddle. Ruled out panniers and rear rack bags/baskets, which are inconvenient, though necessary for touring. Rear racks interfere with throwing your leg over bikes with top tubes, not as much an issue with mixte and step-through frames. When fenders aren’t attached, saddle bags might divert some splashes, but don't protect contents. Stuff stored in frame bags must be fairly flat, or legs will rub. Bags attached to bikes afford better comfort and control than sacks strapped onto your body.

Ample stowage is an absolute must when touring extensively, although few ever do. Yet all members of theater troupe Handlebards travel exclusively by bicycle to perform Shakespeare’s plays across Britain living on road and pedaling between venues. Once shared a vegan burrito with Skip Kipchoge while interviewing his musical ensemble Ginger Ninjas, who likewise traveled by bike between performance venues from 2007 to 2019, supposedly now working on a band documentary. Led them by bike to next venue just to boost enthusiasm.

Depressive German drama I Was at Home, But... (Angela Schanelec, dir., 2019) shows widow Astrid (Maren Eggert) deal poorly with grief, even during her purchase of a used ten-speed, presumably for transportation she previously didn’t require. Interspersed throughout, school children are reciting lines from Shakespeare’s Hamlet alluding to Ophelia’s tragic demise.

In classic period film Jules et Jim (François Truffaut, dir., 1962) bicycles encouraged female emancipation in years surrounding WWI, with French heroine Catherine (Jeanne Moreau, left below) entertaining two lovers, inspired by 1895 Gladiator advertising posters.

Nina’s World (Kevin Micallef, dir., Season 1, Episode 23, November, 2015) animates Latino heroine teen Nina (Isabella Farrier), who’s shy about resuming riding her bicycle after an accident. But once Abuelita Yolie (Rita Moreno) and gang organize a bike school, Nina regains confidence then reengages in bike delivery from their pastry shop.

Award nominated sci-fi thriller No One Will Save You (Brian Duffield, dir., 2023) pits neurotic homebody Brynn (Kaitlyn Devers) against murderous space aliens invading her remote home sanctuary, forcing her to expose herself by pedaling into town.

Joseph Trapanese, Bike Into TownNo One Will Save You [soundtrack], Hollywood Records, 2023  

British comedy-drama Scrapper (Charlotte Regan, dir., 2023) named Georgie (Lola Campbell) is a pint sized thief collecting metal, other people’s bicycles in particular, to build a tower and visit her recently deceased mom in heaven. Won European Film Award and Sundance Grand Prize in its categories.

Consumer Cellular has Ted Danson cheerily riding a cruiser bike while selling service to Marcus, a recent retiree, who believes he knows how to be free.

Allan Holdsworth, Tullio [jazz guitar instrumental], Hard Hat Area, CREAM Records, 1993
Late jazz fusion artist’s 6 minute homage to Gentullio “Tullio” Campagnolo (1901 to 1983), who founded the premier bicycle component brand 60 years earlier (1933)

Apple iPhone Swoop Spot has a bicyclist and her ceramic smartphone surviving an attack by an angry bird causing a minor crash.

Donovan Leitch, Cosmic Wheels, Cosmic Wheels, Epic, 1973
“Just when I'll find my course again with these boulders in my way, I should be rolling down the skyway on my cosmic wheels, instead of stumbling down this highway on my boots of steel.” Before Beyonce or Madonna were known on a first name basis was this innovative Scot singer-songwriter. Can also imagine lyrics, “Caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within. First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is,” describes peloton’s struggles and triumphs on grand tours facing and overcoming doubts, hills, obstacles, and problems, as Tour de France 2024 campaign begins.

Walkings, Bicycle [J-pop], Tomodachi, Maruzen Rec., 2018

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Blaine or Blane?

Likewise, Rene and Riley can be either female or male names, but blaine means lean and blane means curiously yellow, summoning a slew of references including para-cycling World Championship and World Record Holder Blaine Hunt and indomitable spirit of late Swedish bicycling actress Lena Nyman. Any individual can sexually identify as either or neither with pride and without your permission. All have a right to choice in lifestyle matters... effeminate adverbs, nuance of nouns, pit of gender pronouns be damned. Homosexuality was legalized in catholic majority cycling crazed France during 18th Century. Ancient cultures included and other creatures still behave bisexually. Major contributors to culture and science throughout history were gay. Bible Old Testament disapproved in passing, so it’s been around forever, not a recent liberal invention. 

Private crimes and public behaviors do warrant scrutiny, especially among those who falsify records to hoodwink voters about amoral acts while promising cult followers to rob opponents, queers, transgenders, and women of their basic rights. Ways laws are enforced, indictments processed, and sentences given are infrequent and random; GOP is not hiring police or prosecutors, instead increasing tax cuts that would pay for both. Their Plan 2025 would reduce LGBTQIA+ to a subhuman species by recognizing only hetero gender from birth, among a series of nazi mandates excluding and persecuting everyone except white Trump loyalists.

Rebellious beatnik counterculture? Don’t confuse mid-1960’s protesters with flower power hippies, though some did cross over. Hippies hated violence visited upon vulnerable individuals, so banded together as a bulwark against brutality. Being apolitical, they evaded authorities, whose main interest was and will always be seizing power, which those disaffected didn’t threaten, and loathed personal responsibilities by dropping out and suspending resistance. Valuing freedom, kindness and peace blinded them to consequences of empty promises and false prophets. Without 20 million drifting parasites (one quarter of voter turnout nationally at the time) begging for scraps, drowning in drugs, forgiving political corruption, and retreating from confrontation, minority rule by cruel plutocrats never would have emerged from the cesspool of nation’s worst depravity and horror, cavernous greed hidden behind evangelical conservatism. Can’t dominate, enslave, or oppress without both mind control and unimaginable wealth.

As previously cited, some say MAGA slogan was lifted from a 1929 Mussolini speech, “...fellow citizens who are working to make America great,” but that would require study into history, something cult would rather purge than read. Melania since let it slip that Don directly plagiarized a Michelle Obama speech. Nevertheless, it’s really a law firm acronym that stands for Mammon, Abaddon, Grimoire & Astaroth, the demons who represent respectively temptations, mischief, powers, and false accusations. Indeed, it’s among those spiritually minded that evil incarnate casts his vile net; deplorable and willing transgressors are already legion.

RINOs are all in for Trump, a sociopath convicted of fraud and rape, further accused of espionage, extortion, money laundering, racketeering, and tax evasion; he only got into office because enough independents bought this babbling celebrity and his biased bullpucky. Depending upon when and who you ask, only 25% of voters affiliate with GOP, 33% affiliate with Democrats, while 36% are independents, fools who stand aloof without any representation, then feel neglected and get angry through their own fault. You get the service you pay for, which, in their case, is none. If you didn’t thrive on whatever Washington delivered over last 20 years before Biden, blame Boehner, Bush, GOP, McConnell, and Trump, since they either controlled presidency or senate throughout, thus instigated all these discredited and disreputable policies, and Independents for their lack of organized opposition.

Liberals demand democracy now; lowbrow conservatives own the franchise on hypocrisy. Wow! Americans aren’t free to do whatever they want, only what’s legal and responsible. Majority wants to preserve constitutional rights and pursue happiness. Conservatives want freedoms to commit crimes with impunity, enslave or imprison everyone else accusing them of what they do themselves. MAGA describes itself as anti-fascist, anti-regulation, Christian righteous, constitution preserving, law abiding, national patriotic, pro-life, public inclusive, and radically progressive when it’s exactly the opposite: criminal, false, homophobic, misogynistic, noninclusive, racist, reactionary, selfish, unconstitutional, and xenophobic. Few immigrants are as purely rotten as home grown offenders. Fox and Newsmax went mental when Obama saluted with a coffee cup in same hand and wore a tan suit; now they are doing damage control over their candidate’s civil and criminal convictions acting as if that’s no scandal at all. Double standards this bizarre and blatant just can’t be borne, though much has already been discussed as a source of entertainment rather than extreme threat beyond reckoning, because nobody can stand considering so serious a topic.

Americans don’t need jingoism and populism, humping Old Glory and repeating hollow slogans, nor self styled patriots who rebel without cause based on false flags from seditionist media. Politicians who feed upon fear and pride and promise results that only congress can deliver are big liars and fat phonies unworthy of your vote, one of citizens’ few controls over government. Unhappy with how things are? Be heard through a ballot for candidates free of fraud convictions, not hucksters likely lying to you.

Labann learned a lot, but no one mind can encompass all facts; takes humankind as a whole and scientific consensus. However, majority lacks the necessary foresight and willpower to forge forward. After plenty of analysis yielded useful insight, next steps should have been planning ahead and taking action. But folks rather ask a family member or friend on how to decide instead of applying logic, laboriously remembering, studying anew, and thinking through.

Neither diligent study nor rote repetition leads to omniscience, only direct revelation. Prophecy comes from dreams and meditations that expose subliminal input from a cornucopia of connections and decades of experiences stewed in unconscious undercurrents. Why not read more nonfiction? But deep text dives into conflicting data will always be intolerably uncomfortable for vast majority. Anyone clever can access all sorts of amusing tidbits and audience reactions to late night comedy sketches. Rather than of staying up to watch them live, studying while sober makes more sense. Bicycling and thinking require a reasonable night’s sleep.

Pointed out transportation alternatives for decades. Now millions of newbies have discovered bicycling for themselves and repeated same discoveries. Once reposted bike authors and their titles when few were to be found; now there are just too many to recount. Commercial websites do a better job than a casual blog at recommending more. Quod Erat Demonstrandum (abbreviated as Q.E.D.) is a Latin phrase that means literally "that which was to be demonstrated.” In normal English, this means, "Thus it is proven.” Mike drop!

Recently passed NBA hall-of-famer Bill Walton and Bjarne Rostaing, Bill Walton’s Total Book of Bicycling (Bantam, 1985, 367 pp.) enthusiastically covers bicycle types, cycling apparel, equipment maintenance, long history, physical fitness, racing lore, safety precautions, and touring strategies.

Daniel Shea and Jeremy Withers, Culture on Two Wheels: The Bicycle in Literature and Film (University of Nebraska Press, 2016, 376 pp.) collects 16 relevant essays.

Frank Angelo Cavaluzzi, Standing Cyclist: Flirting with Wisdom, One Breath, One Mile at a Time (ThirtyThree45 Media Group; 2016, 296 pp.)

Gestalten [editors] and Martijn Doolaard, One Year on a Bike: From Amsterdam to Singapore (Gestalten, 2017, 368 pp.)

Gestalten [editors] and Martijn Doolaard, Two Years On A Bike: From Vancouver to Patagonia (Gestalten, 2021. 416 pp.)

Gestalten [editors], Velo City (Gestalten, 2016, 256 pp.)

Eighty years after D-Day, facts have emerged on the role of bicycling resistance preparing for an Allied Invasion to free Europe from Nazi tyranny, as covered by “vélosophe" Guillaume Martin’s books and podcast through Radiofrance.

Guillaume Martin, Socrates by bike (Grasset, 2020)
Guillaume Martin, The company of the peloton. Philosophy of the individual in the group (Grasset, 2021)

Martin’s source bibliography includes:
Bernard Chambaz, Little philosophy of cycling, Flammarion, coll (Flammarion, 2019, 130 pp.)
Bernard Andrieu, International Vocabulary of Sports Philosophy, 2 volumes (L’Harmattan, 2015)
Philippe Hassler, Louison (theatre, 2021, 1 hour)


Jody Rosen, Two Wheels Good: The History and Mystery of the Bicycle (Crown, 2022, 417 pp.): “The bicycle in the nineteenth century was a marvel; in today’s formulation, it is moral. It was enchanted; now it’s enlightened. Bicycles are great - but, more to the point, bicycles are good... the bicycle’s relationship to progressivism and radicalism is grounded in history... Hitler’s first acts upon assuming power, in 1933, was to smash Germany’s cycling union... confiscated bicycles from the local populations. To a repressive regime... the bicycle was a menace, a device that could be used by dissenters to sneak up and speed off, to organize and mobilize and elude.”

Ole Wagner and Shonquis Moreno, edited by Robert Klanten and Sven Ehmann, Velo: Bicycle Culture and Design (Gestalten, 2010, 235 pp.)

Paul Smethurst, The Bicycle: Towards a Global History (Palgrave Macmillan, 2015, 208 pp.)

Stephen Fabes, Signs of Life: A Doctor's Journey to the Ends Of The Earth (Pegasus Books, 2020, 408 pp.); physician Fabes gave up a practice to tour world by bicycle, then discovered how medical histories don’t exceed life stories.

Sven Ehmann, Velo - 2nd Gear and Velo - 3rd Gear, Bicycle Culture and Style (Gestalten, 2013 and 2016, 256 pp. each)

Tree Abraham, Cyclettes (The Unnamed Press, 2022, 224 pp.) offers a millennial’s first take on freedom and stillness in motion.

“The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets,” opined essayist, journalist, novelist and poet Christopher Morley (d. 1957), long before automotive paradigm and urban rap trampled such sentiments.