Snowbank Lain

Never too late to start bicycling; easy on old bodies and offers big benefits, says BBC. After 10,000 hours of pedaling around, guarantee you'll breathe better and lose stiffness after your very first ride. Frigid weather doesn't keep everyone inside, either, although snow removal steals your chances and wears you down. This winter more untapped cycling stimulus has lain in towering banks than crystalized rain. You can always tell when Labann hasn’t been riding; insights and poetry fall short of those an oxygen soaked brain would be generating.

The 19th Century physician Seneca Egbert recommended “cycling as a remedy for dyspepsia, torpid liver, incipient consumption, nervous exhaustion, rheumatism, and melancholia.” Does anyone still suffer from such fanciful maladies? Yes! Just their names have changed, respectively: indigestion, parenchyma, tuberculosis, adjustment disorder, joint pain, and the blues, for which they offer newfangled medicines that might kill you instead. Sometimes popular antidepressants increase suicidal tendencies. Better to prevent with a bicycling mood boost.

Speaking of aging, bicycle advocacy itself has supposedly grown up, according to Architecture Daily, now just another item in transportation planning in some cities. Opposition to cycling as a social panacea was inevitable. Lloyd Alters article in Treehugger exemplifies the platform for progress typically presented but usually ignored, that is, when it doesn't raise conservative hackles. Asking for 5 times more government spending? When current is zero, multiples send you nowhere. Cheap paint on existing pavement would address 75% of issues. Although cyclists ride in travel lanes, a reasonably wide shoulder can often be enough to provide a safe alternative when traffic thickens.

Alters may not be aware that most of these measures have already been included in USA's Code of Federal Regulations, which affect every city, state and town alike. Why they don't appear as existing infrastructure and haven't been enforced are easily explained: They were directed at public officials who'd rather regulate cyclists out of existence than restrict motorists in the least. Plus, no penalty for legislators, who never serve time and pass along federal fines to taxpayers. All they have to do is plead budget constraints, ignorance or inconvenience, and constituents shrug their collective shoulders. Everyone sees cyclists as second class citizens, even cyclists who've been browbeaten by abuse and neglect.

Egalitarian internet makes it hard to complain and contest. Labann won't contribute to moderated forums that don't directly allow everyone to join conversation in a timely fashion. Fact is, internet providers impose this upon site builders; they somehow assume you don't want a string of commercial spots, political plants, troll taunts, and useless drabble. But who monitors own website continuously? Labann would rather allow instant comments, but that's not how Google.blogspot works. Why blog, comment or troll anyway? Correspondents seek that small adrenaline rush of someone battling or validating their viewpoint. Unless you are very bizarre, you'll receive dislikes and likes, but more misquotes and misunderstoods. You only think you're addressing fellow intellectuals and literate readers; in reality, it's those who aren't smart enough to be doing something meaningful or profitable.

Most people don't know what to do or where to look. They make no ripple. Some wait for calm to skip a stone. The rarest of rare wade in and leave a huge wake in their chosen artform, discipline, or profession that's felt for days, decades, even millennia. The tsunamis among them were proclaimed emperors, pharaohs, prophets, Sons of God on Earth. Acolytes build cathedrals and pyramids to commemorate their influence and create artificial mountains frozen in time where lain relics can remain.

Mezzanine Eyestrain

Critics describe certain movies as "coming of age". Therein, teens assume responsibilities, which represents their first step toward becoming adults and carving out freedoms for themselves. Beneficiaries might give doers who get things done a pass on restrictions.

When she released award winning film Wadjda (2013), director Haifaa Al Mansour broke new ground. It was a first for conservative, Islamic Saudi Arabia, where no feature film had ever been shot. Its title character, a ten-year-old girl living in a suburb of capital Riyadh, rebels against a society that sees bicycles as a danger to a girl’s virtue. She so desperately wants a green bicycle so she can beat bratty neighbor boy Abdullah in a race, Wadjda decides to raise the money herself. Critically acclaimed, will it one day wind up on list of Bicycling Films Not to Be Missed?

In a sex farce directed by Jeremy Leven, Girl on a Bicycle (2013), protagonist, a Paris bus driver, finally gets courage to propose to his frigid girlfriend, a flight attendant, when he meets love interest from title, also involved in transportation alternatives. Screwball mayhem ensues.

Other cycling films for 2013 include 4 documentaries. Alex Gibney's inevitable biopic, The Armstrong Lie, started out being a fan homage to Lance's 2009 return after a 4 year hiatus, but morphed into a self absorbed monster chronicling doping abuse and falling from grace. Haven't personally seen, but reviews were favorable. National Geographic aired Cycling's Greatest Fraud (Episode 14, July 16th), repeating allegations. How much improvement does doping deliver? Maybe 2%? What are margins of victory? Who should expect heroes and victors to be fair, gentlemanly, honest or perfect? Meanwhile, world's most famous cyclist, still an amazing if arrogant athlete who increased sales of bicycles and pharmaceuticals my hundreds of millions, has been negotiating a return to this grueling sport after being banished for life. Arrogant is he/she who urges a cancer survivor to act his age. Shifted by Matt Butterworth and Eric Marciniak, Virtu Media's first full length video, spotlights daredevil stunts on mtbs. It's a lot of big air, and not in a bad way. A Winter of Cyclists by Mike Predergast reveals what awaits fools who try commuting through Colorado snow.

In urban fear film Attack the Block (2011) director Joe Cornish reverses roles on a gang of teens who ride bmx bikes and terrorize neighbors into heroes who protect their block from alien invaders. Talk about growing up in a hurry.

Joshua Jackson plays a cultural tourist in Spain accompanying a bickering couple in Kevin Nolan's Americano (2005), which was mentioned in B&C but only recently found on DVD. After running with bulls in Pamplona, he hooks up with a beautiful actress, and the foursome ride borrowed bikes to her villa over a double span of bridge reflected in river and so resembles a bicycle. This extended scene, like the film, is propelled on a theme of freedom in life choices for those on the cusp of adulthood.

Streaky Pane

Do you make too little of catastrophes or take life too seriously? Depends on specifics. All should carefully consider and safely pursue motility, but many exaggerate its threats. P.J. O’Rourke ridiculed such ideas long ago. Who understands satire anymore? Reducing to the absurd ceases to be amusing when lives are at stake. Built a Cycling FMEA which showed high to middle severity for Failure Modes but low statistical occurrence of Effects, so no risk Analyzed could be considered unacceptable; sure, might further mitigate some, but most would hardly be worth the effort. Blather on blogs/radio/television, no matter how strident, begs being laughed off for the self serving bunk it is. Takes all kinds: Enthusiasts to propel progress, naysayers to redouble planning, and oppressors to police compliance. Tickets jealously motivated punish whoever by riding evades raising revenue. So rare, you can't cite an instance where a cyclist caused a traffic injury, other than to self; motorists nationwide murder well over 30,000 innocents every year. Decide what's right for you, born bawling, dragging a metal shell, and dying too soon.

Self evaluation proves crucial during decision making. How have you improved yourself? Have rules followed or values upheld led to your goals? How did you measure success? Still potent or relevant? Time to cut losses? Willing to take on more or other responsibilities? Was reminded by a cyclist that when you answer "no", nothing good comes from it, but "yes" affirms life and provides only chance to learn or profit. Then contrasted that with what Franz Kafka wrote...

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked; it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." - Zurau Aphorism 109, 1917

Gongs from a century ago echo in B&C's Chapter 15, though suggested such visions mostly occur right before you slam into a wall, when you'll be glad you're wearing a helmet. Some speculate safety devices encourage risk taking. Insuring motorists certainly has. Leaving a cozy home is risk enough, especially into subzero snow. Nobody wants to encounter naked truths. You not only need not agree with absolutes and ultimatums, you ought to exercise choices lest they disappear. How else can you nurture advancement, innovation, uniqueness? Some claim Kafka would have wished he never published anything had he known how critics would distort it. Audiences invariably process input in unanticipated ways. Conceiving and inventing keep humans at the top of food chain when once they were sparse snacks for surly predators. From millennia of herd hunting, they instinctively know that working together means survival, which explains their fascination with famous faces and trivial facts. Yet they morbidly distrust strangers after relentless negative conditioning.


Bicyclist with blinkies and headlight bouncing stripes barely visible in a blizzard

“No matter how one may think himself accomplished, when he sets out to learn a new language, science, or the bicycle he has entered a new realm as truly as if he were a child newly born into the world.” Frances Willard of herself in her 53rd year, 1892

Bright baubles fascinate infants for a few moments. Bloggers observe what occurs through a streaky pane and squint at shards of totality. Cyclists look inward; what else can you do while pedaling? Insights arrive inconsistently and never cohere. Once posted, outward again appeals. Bike polo, freakbikes, and tattooed messengers do contribute to cycling culture, but you can't equate art and artifacts. A tall bike slapped together requires less dedication than a book or film. Art is where dialogue starts, questions are posed, and resolutions lead to consensus that serve mutual needs. Only words let you connect meaningfully beyond hunger and lust at a distance.

Expended serious effort over decades in pursuit of quality but reaped minimal rewards. This may never land upon BlogMetrics.org's top 50 bicycle websites. Wrote for honest pay, mad obsession, publisher whims, and unrealized wins. When they look beyond its drier patches, intelligent readers see B&C as a departure. Devoid of entertainment distractions and metaphoric crutches, B&C deconstructs language into the virus that it is, measures the irrational well of interpersonal dynamics, but refuses to rebut any reasonable position over its opposition. Unfortunately, the ubiquitous corruption of do-nothing partisans that treats doers as obsequious fools sours any hope of cooperation. Eventually you either specialize or succumb to incompetence. The longer you live, the more you regret letting yourself be used and vow to spend what years remain on only what’s important. Nothing seems reason enough anymore. Need to embrace new dreams yet imagined and find clarity.

Mark of Cain

In 2013 box office blockbuster World War Z, virus expert Brad Pitt, after visiting ground zero of contagion to seek some cure, reconsiders next place to touch down to evade zombies, who are attracted by slightest of noises, as are sharks from afar to frolicking seals. He and team pick bicycles to quietly sneak back onto plane. Felt similar terror on December roads among frenzied holiday shoppers. WWZ's undead move as fast as highway traffic, unlike television's slow walking dead. Original Voodoo versions, upon which they based these necrophobic nightmares, were nearly paralyzed by poisons.

Screen treatments gained popularity with John Caradine's Revenge of the Zombies (1943), when they embodied an actual diaspora of needy WWII refugees roaming menacingly across 5 continents. In 1968 George Romero revived fetish with The Night of the Living Dead. IMDB lists 263 films and show episodes devoted to this creepy premise where strange biological entities are wantonly exterminated as if insects in nuclear fear films. Hate? Really? Genre has come to symbolize any mindless horde perpetrating evil, whereas worn out westerns, which number in the thousands, are mostly about equals with guns killing each other. God fearing folk were once expected to repress their savagery, but ever more often meek minion unwittingly engage in heinous acts and rights debacles for the sake of nationalism, racism or xenophobia. You're equally guilty by commission or omission; ignoring duty to society is no option facing next atrocity. You don't satisfy requirement by begrudgingly remitting taxes and pretentiously expecting government to take care of it. They don't do enough to help developing countries feed hungry bellies.


Icugutu: Rwanda's handmade wooden bicycles
dangerously devoid of brakes.

Tim Lewis' balanced book Land of Second Chances (Velopress, 2013) examines the horror you've come to expect from the heart of darkness and the improbable rise of Rwanda's Olympic cyclists. Rolls in behind T. C. Johnstone's documentary on same topic Rising from Ashes narrated by Forest Whitaker. Lewis starts with a riveting account of “the rubber terror” over Dunlop’s raw materials and slave plantations in neighboring Congo. Pneumatic tires did make bicycling practical but at a terrible unseen cost. These days, tantalum mining for computers and cell phones commandeers unpaid labor and rationalizes deals in mass death. Often painful to read, book's facts implicate creed and greed, as usual.

Central Africa should be a place of potential, particularly Rwanda where millions share same economic status. Nine out of ten are subsistence farmers who push once banned icugutu ladened with produce. Hope Cycles now increasingly bring coffee to market on time and represent hope, as incongruent an idea as honesty if you live with uncertainty and make no plans. Yet foreigners fear grim reminders of the sudden massacre of nearly a million souls maliciously meted out with machetes by senseless mobs. Survivors bear fearsome scars, mental and physical, neither forgetting nor permitting themselves to be defined by genocide. Unification has become a national obsession. Cyclists there braved far more than their hilly terrain, which is bound to strengthen. Every racer knows the winner will be whoever climbs fastest.

One day with nurture loss-averse Rwandans may ride their amagare (modern bikes) past pelaton to European victories. One never knows. Took until 1986 for an American to win Tour de France. Glory in sports is fleeting at best and should never be sole opportunity among the poor. Only fair trade in agribusiness, manufacturing and mining raise a nation's standard of living. Rwanda may rate among the poorest countries in World, but they hold Umuganda on the last Saturday of every month when everyone participates in community projects and professionals provide services for free. Brush gets cleared but holiday gifts aren't swapped; rather, whoever has anything is asked to share.

Continually dealing with ignorance and impatience can be depressing. Everyday androids attack entrances and exits of expressways, human mimicking golem, modern zombies leaving behind common sense, compassion, and controlled pulse for speed's trivial thrill. Unlike motoring, cycling appeases your intense, Kerouac-esque appetite to experience everything on the road. Sure, if you go, got to open your gourd and orbs. Goodwill goads you to know you don't live in a vacuum, rather a supportive network that enables feeling whatever way you want, including apathetic, depressed, oblivious or vindictive. Malcontents can be blue and still stomach complaints. Comforts alienate. Being but obliquely aware of issues, you have only a dim impression of what abominations ignorance and want are capable. You blink at what's happening right now in Africa.

Cyclists bond in a brotherhood of pain. Conversation lifts one's spirits, even when it's only grousing or grumbling. People commiserate, what they do best, (literally) wretched together. But Cain asked, and those who bear his brand repeat, "Am I my brother's keeper?" A caring, cooperative world that doesn't tolerate iniquity has an uphill climb with church and state setting contradictory examples. Wholesale slaughter should never amuse, neither alien insects or nearby zombies. One rides amidst memories of the dead, but tries to merit redemption through charity, kindness, and patience.

"You must remember always to give... foolishly even... to all who come into your life. Then nothing and no one shall have power to cheat you... if you give to a thief, he cannot steal from you, and he himself is then no longer a thief.... Nothing good ever ends. If it did, there would be... no life at all, anywhere." - William Saroyan, The Human Comedy

Chimeric Twain

"People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing... Give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin... Sitting here Watching the Wheels go round... just had to let it go."—John Lennon, final, posthumously published, song on Double Fantasy album

Why switch back to bicycle from car? Nobody wants to be told how they must go. Motor on days of rain or snow. Why not? Market runs are easier by truck when one can find a parking spot. Bicycling is a healthy choice and mood boost whenever it suits you, or an imposed drudgery for suckers clearing way for tetchy fuel hogs then narrowly surviving falls into trenches. Unfair to call bicycling a gateway drug to driving, but it is all about, "How can we go faster?" without any doubt over consequences.

Wish you owned winged Pegasus: Lives forever, never eats, prances blithely over car crawl and snarl.


Though a pain to care for, horses are at least biological, logical, and sustainable and don't need roads, only hay. Neither does a mountain bike, but it won't run off leaving you surrounded by snakes and wolves.

The cheapest (riskiest) form of real transportation might be a 250 cc scooter, which can provide daily 137 mile highway roundtrips at 50+ mph/mpg, 50,000 miles annually, for only 1,000 gallons, maintenance, and oil. A scooter can be used in all weather and costs no more than a decent bicycle, whereas you might have 2 or 3 bikes for changeable conditions but only ride them 10% as far. Some cyclists only use roadies, but half also own either single speeds or winter beaters. During '60's routinely put 2 full bags of groceries, enough for a couple's weekly consumption, into milk rack on back of a waspish Vespa. By bicycle you could carry as much, but not as conveniently in one trip. Frame mounted panniers and racks will set you back hundreds, then you'll need for each bike. Versus fuel, dozens of cassette/chain combos and sets of tires won't match a scooter's range. A luxurious Hermes hipster at $11k costs as much as a low end new car; has some of the features of a Novara Gotham, which sells for 90% less.

None of this takes into account the trillions spent to date on road construction and upkeep. Depreciation is constant. Neil Young twanged, "Rust Never Sleeps." But you can postpone ruin by biking, making pavement and vehicles last longer, running car as least once a week; otherwise, gaskets fail, metal degrades, and seals leak. Bikes similarly suffer unattended: Cables kink, chains seize, tires crack, tubes ooze, though you can remedy yourself with simple tools, no computer diagnostics required. Boats, busses and trains only get you part way to destinations. All have a place in any transportation solution even though underfunded and unevenly valued.

If you hear of a bicyclist killed it’s when run down by a motorist acting negligently. Insurance has become an enabler of bad behaviors. Coverage and lax enforcement encourage motorists to drive obliviously. In a system out of control, assassinations of innocents are inevitable. Policies don’t protect drivers against criminal charges, only property damages. Yet courts ignore survivor civil suits after traffic tribunals give a $75 wrist slap (maximum penalty for taking a life in some states). Every year the burnt offering for finite automotive profits remains tens of thousands of self replicating lives. In an unexamined dynamic, cycling hastens tragedy, and the dual fantasy is a) Doing right by bike will be rewarded, and b) Labor saving technologies won't kill you. Hazards abound in what you choose to ignore.

Why must everyone stay on the move? Against your will, you're forced from home to earn and spend. Helena Norberg-Hodge discussed devastating effect of drone economies. Investment in global rather than local industry leads directly to an erosion of ethics and resurgence of slavery where still allowed. Why isn't hers an indictment of banking practices under Reaganomic deregulation? Farm coops work because produce is perishable. But what of durable goods that easily endure sea voyages and warehouse storage? Manufacturing at point of sale would certainly save on shipping, but billionaires and exporters suppress such thinking. Dr. Stacy Wood points to a hedonic treadmill: One purchase triggers the next in a mindless acquisition chain. Pleasure seeking humans must roam to reproduce with someone other than cousins and siblings. Perhaps mobility over generations has finally smartened them. A third as many 16-year-olds are now applying for drivers' licenses, satisfied with bikes instead. Teens more often communicate and play video games on-line anyway. Anything else desired may arrive mail order, including brides but not blue chimeras except My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.