Zahir Bane

Jorge Luis Borges wrote a short story about The Zahir. For protagonist, it was a coin, but it could be anything, a bicycle in particular. "Tiny dot reveals all." Zahir is a physical object that embodies a psychological obsession and supernatural bane. Even ridding oneself of object does nothing to cure spiraling into abyss of its infinite connections to universe. Being lost in the funhouse of emotional and physical details is something in common with stars in each of the movies mentioned below.

Don (Don Black) has a crush on Alli (Allison Breckenridge), who invited him to her birthday party, but his car won’t start. His beautiful neighbor offers a pink bicycle with girly basket to ride Bicycle Lane (Jeffrey Ruggles, dir., 2009) amidst notorious LA traffic. Don’s on a mission, but spin across City of Angels with streets designed only for motorists is fraught with bedevilment.

BBC 4 aired an hour documentary called Ride of My Life (Robert Sullivan, dir., 2010) based on Robert Penn’s book It’s All About the Bike from same year, reviewed right after publication. Someone thought it important enough to post show on Youtube years later; so far three quarters of a million people viewed. Skims a century of history for audiences with attention deficit, and tours planet hand picking components for a perfect build. Penn is Labann on steroids: Deep pockets, multiple bikes, passion for craftsmanship, singularly obsessed, and two wheeled world tourist. His simple surmises on a coming bike boom sound prophetic several pandemics later. Choked up a bit in awe and envy of his day trip with Cinelli staff to Chapel of the Madonna del Ghisallo (patron saint of peloton) high above Lago Como, forever a bucket list biggie for bicyclists the world over, though now epicenter of European COVID, so beyond reach.

HBO documentary Hard Times: Lost on Long Island (Marc Levin, dir., 2011) is a long therapy session among citizens desperately trying to cope with ageism, bankruptcy, joblessness, and residence eviction due to economic downturn caused by Dubya Bush’s presidency and Republican Senate. One possible suicide victim relied on family backing and took bolstering spins by bicycle around his beloved Levittown suburb. Of those who were interviewed, he alone was offered a new position well into Obama’s term, once domestic policies were revived. At least one who died no longer had to fear belongings being turned out onto curb and imminent homelessness as millions of others. Story puts a human face on policy betrayal.

Family of convicted monster Simon Fairbairn leaves England in 1968 for dark isolation in remote coastal Maine. Mother Rose and 4 siblings, Jack (George MacKay) the eldest, revert to mom’s maiden name, Marrowbone (Sergio Sánchez, dir., 2017), and settle into her dilapidated ancestral home. Mom tries to stay alive long enough to assume ownership herself, then transfer to Jack after he turns 21, and thereby keep siblings safe together, but she doesn’t make it. Jack fraudulently conducts family’s business keeping a low profile by riding to distant village by bike. But dad escapes prison and tracks them down, while lowlife lawyer tries to blackmail family out of loot never recovered. Nearest neighbor Allie (Anya Taylor-Joy), who cares for Jack, sorts out sordid details.

Television miniseries Manhunt: Unabomber (Andrew Sodroski, Jim Clemente, and Tony Gittelson, creators, 2017) follows FBI profiler James Fitzgerald (Sam Worthington) whose innovative approaches helped bring a 1996 close to a 20 year reign of terror perpetrated by Theodore Kaczynski (Paul Bettany). Neo-Luddite Kaczynski randomly sent bombs to persons he assumed were promoting socialist viewpoints or technological advancements, both of which he mistrusted and misunderstood. Despite an estimated IQ of 168, he couldn’t even accurately define socialism in his ridiculous ecofascist manifesto. Just to prove all bicyclists aren’t benevolent, Kaczynski only biked back and forth from his off-the-grid Montana cabin to village in Lincoln to pick up supplies and send mail bombs, thereby hiding his identity long enough to injure or kill 26 innocent victims. While threads of sanity twist through his published rant, entire fabric is best described as paranoid schizophrenia, much like Fox News, and proved his downfall once Fitzgerald applied linguistic analysis. Fox insanely harps on Hillary and Hunter as if they were candidates, when neither has any influence in this election cycle, unlike woefully unqualified Donny, Eric, Ivanka, and Jared, who conduct national business in name of POTUS 45. Experts agree lion’s share of domestic terrorism is due to neocon nationalism or theocratic radicalism inciting suicidal minion.

After Class (Daniel Schechter, dir., 2019), aka Safe Spaces, has NYC humanities professor Josh Cohn (Justin Long) using bike share to reconnect with family and visit grandma in hospital while defending his reputation over an alleged classroom indiscretion. When countrymen have no hope of gainful employment they become dishonestly vicious and increasingly litigious. Lifetimes of excellent service, good deeds and indubitable loyalty are forgotten.

Based on personal history, self produced on 10 years of savings, indie drama Borderline (Anna Alfieri, dir., 2019) has bicyclist Anna (Alfieri herself) and Robyn (Agathe Ferré) break up after a sapphic affair of sultry cuddling and cycling together. Anna can’t deal with their separation, and succumbs to borderline personality disorder, dark depression, feelings of worthlessness, and worse perdition trying to replace what she had. Breakups are common with BPD. Negates old saying, “Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved.” In her real life in London, Anna claims Pink Floyd’s music saved her. “Art or love? Can a writer have both?” Or either, asks Labann.

Action thriller 6 Underground (Michael Bay, dir., 2020) has five untraceable agents with erased identities led by One (Ryan Reynolds) on their first mission together in Florence, Italy, where they destroy antiquities and mow down bystanders including several nuns on bicycles. Makes you wonder who’s worse, heroes or villains, though this morality meme is often repeated as part of a regular agenda. Fictional antihero Hancock nearly leveled LA.

Originated in 2008 Yowamushi Pedaru (Weakling Pedal) is an expansive Japanese manga series (films, graphic novels, and television) by Wataru Watanabe, replete with original punk tunes by LASTGASP and ROOKiEZ is PUNK'D. Plot focuses on anime character Sakamichi Onoda, a skinny otaku (obsessed anime fan) who shows up at Sohoku High School on a nerdy mamchari (bulky and sturdy mommy’s bike) to classmate derision. He’s looking to resurrect school’s anime club, but serious cyclist Shunsuke Imaizumi notices how easily he climbs steep hills without fancy equipment, so convinces him to join competitive cycling team instead. Was a shame to overlook this series, as 2020 sees a second live action film directed by Kôichirô Miki starring Ren Nagase as Onoda. Now it’s Osaka headquartered Shimano Dura Ace and Ultegra components and titanium frames, among world’s best, though manufactured elsewhere.

Tailer for upcoming German documentary Verplant: How Two Guys Try to Ride a Bike to Vietnam (Waldemar Schleicher, dir., 2021) follows director and Matthias Schneemann, neither with any touring experience, on an epic adventure begun in August of 2018 before pandemic. Suffering is still good for the soul unless it saps spirit and will. 

Based on fact, John’s Bicycle (Colin Riendeau, dir., c. 2020) was likewise a quest to cross continents, in this one from France to India, but found an impossible love interest along the way. Will this ill fated couple, city Quebecois and country Greek, abandon all they’ve known for love, or settle back into a their separate disappointments? Seems production on this fable stalled due to COVID; website claimed it would be out last March. Indie films are generally introduced at festivals, so might be withheld until some are staged.