Must Romaine

“Well, my wife still respects me, I really misuse her. I am having an affair with a random computer. Don’t you know I'm a 2000 man, and my kids they just don't understand me at all. ‘Oh daddy, proud of your planet... Oh daddy, your brain's still flashing like it did when you were young. Or do you come down crashing seeing all the things you'd done?’ All was a big put on.” - The Rolling Stones , 2000 Man, Their Satanic Majesties Request, London Recordings, 1967

Conditioned to think as cycling foodstuff dark leafy greens were ultra healthy, then confused to learn all vegetables could contain pathogens and require careful prep to be ingested safely, public was easily convinced by psychotic conspiracists that horticulture and science failed them completely. No, science succeeds wildly at saving humanity as long as its advice is applied conditionally. There are no panaceas; too much medicine can be worse than none at all. Vaccines have evaded over a billion deaths, and millions of cases of crippling ailments such as polio, over last century or two. Refrigeration reduces diarrhea, rot and spoilage. Only “experts” who want you to develop arthritis, cancers, colon polyps, heart disease, osteoporosis, and type-2 diabetes tell you not to eat chard, collards, kale, mesclun, mustard, romaine, spinach, sprouts, and watercress. Kill all competition is their murderous mantra. Still best to consume each home grown, in season, local, loose, uncut, and washed twice with filtered water, rather than commercially grown, late season, pre-trimmed, unwashed, and vacuum bagged later.

Like bicyclists who widely roam, veggie consumers must choose wisely and decide times from home, but should never rule out altogether, because produce satisfies hunger and sheds bicycling weight, while worse perils remain. Critics instill e-coli fear over unseen bacteria versus visible evidence in health statistics. Animal flesh alive or dead is 100 times more dangerous: pathogens plus animal vaccines, carcinogens, fungi, hormones, parasites, poisons, prions, and toxins. Blame genes or delude special self it won’t happen to you.

Out of desperation to dominate, gaslighters, lawyers and salesmen will demonically argue definitions of words. So, many words now have multiple connotations and meanings, i. e., cool (distant, nifty, or temps below norm), some even contradictory. Constitution and jurisprudence rely upon vocabulary consensus from Age of Enlightenment, not gutter slang from this offensive, postmodern, skeptical, transactional, vulgar era that argues “86 47” is an assassination threat and proof of intent, as was Posobiec’s prior goad “86 46”. “Love is as strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave,” according to Bible. Deep six all for love, and expect scorn. Sown wind reaps whirlwinds, and thou shalt see greater abominations.

If America was a meritocracy, 46 would be revered as best performer in modernity, rather than renounced for not making way sooner for nation’s next most qualified candidate in history, who would then have been elected versus an abominable sociopath facing sentencing. Measure of success today compares number of crimes committed and indictments canceled through perp’s cunning denials and excuses. Star status and street cred now go to those with most convictions dismissed. Unless you discriminate between evil and good, heroes are whoever rewrites history after massacres. Relentless incredulity attacks undermine confidence in facts. If trust dissolves, democracy dies, faith rusts, and fascists rise.

No matter how much this semaphore of structured sentences stalks facts by relaying stuff personally witnessed or stated responsibly in expert testimony, those who live in echo chambers and mirrored halls interpret essay stacks to amuse and suit selves. There are ample provocations but little truth in social maelstrom. Cautionary communication seems sprinkled as if metaphor seasoning readers scarcely taste. Journalistic liberty is under FCC bombardment while press secretary parrots lie of president championing 1st Amendment. “Don’t wait to be told. Heed no tainted hints. Experience your own enlightenment, pain, pleasure, and relationships. Collect facts that matter to you, let others do the same, listen carefully, question explanations, and take for granted things that make no difference. Tolerate diversity, since it's a species survival mechanism. Once you’ve analyzed for yourself, stick with what challenges you. Those who do will know marginally more than the multitude of defeated; that's all it takes to get an edge, move ahead, restore momentum, serve others, and succeed. Forget about seeking truths, eternal tease; let them find you should ever they please.” Labann Says, 2015

Many, but not all, people would prefer negative situations to resolve positively. They seldom do without exertion and intervention. There’s no exit ramp that lets you lazily and safely pull over and watch society crash. Individuals must assume responsibility or mankind collectively suffers consequences. Mundane repetition in all things seem like ruts in road that motorists cause by following each other trapped in lanes as if locomotives on rails. Bicyclists avoid cracks, potholes, and ruts for safer and smoother rolling. As a large but mistreated minority, bicyclists dodge hazards and weave edges rather than confront planner neglect and demand better treatment. Driving USA into wartime status would evade some constitutional issues fascists face. Without digging in heels through dissent, you’ll be one forced to do all fighting when sent to war zones or worse. Bicyclists could unite against radical right bent on excluding them from roads against their consent. Liberals don’t care how you choose to go, so it’s clear who your enemies are.

NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch now has police issuing criminal summons to bicyclists for minor infractions, which could lead to deportations and definitely discriminates unconstitutionally by targeting neither motorists or pedestrians, only bicyclists. You might wonder why she suddenly changed this long established policy. Sinner-in-Chief extorted Mayor Eric Adams, to whom Tisch reports, and tried to negate Congestion Tolls to Lower Manhattan, as if they were a matter of national importance rather than patronage of Big Shell Oil washed up on beaches. New York is entitled to make its own local policies as long as they are legal without undue federal encroachment. Their Attorney General Tish James has filed over a dozen lawsuits against a range of lawless and unconstitutional acts framed as executive orders, none of which bind states to comply since they violate existing laws enacted by Congress.

Civil rights, safety nets, women’s suffrage were all hard fought contracts between citizens and democratic rule, a public consensus forged from civil disobedience, groundswell protests, and nonviolent countermeasures. But vigilant neutralization can be difficult to sustain when executive branch is,“Doing things every day... obviously corrupt, unpopular, un-smart, and zero constituency,” as Rachel Maddow reports. Determined to destroy democracy and establish rule by oligarchy, they must see how many articles of constitution they can negate to wage war against public. Collapsing system seems stupidly shortsighted. If US dollar crashes and loses global reserve currency, crypto will become worthless and other state currencies plummet in value. Fathead fascists should do what makes them richer and thiner, which means fasting and sacrificing to maximize value and spread wealth. They’d rather make everyone poorer.

Former NFL and UFL lineman Kristjan Sokoli stars as Messenger 666 (Dwayne Buckle, dir., 2025), a low budget sci-fi debacle where maniacal truckers seem intent to mow down bicycle messengers. Then the 300 lb, 6’-5” hero unleashes his super power to tackle pharma company behind this mayhem.

The Big Bike Film Night 2025 events presented scores of short documentaries intended to inspire participation across Australia and New Zealand, just winding up in Manitoba, Canada. More encouragements are scattered around internet and Youtube of which a small sampling are described below.

Gushing documentary We Ride Why (Greg Roth and Jason Tang, dirs., 2025) covers affluent but guilty cycling for charity and Specialized in Seattle.

Study Says Biking to Work Prevents Early Death (Berm Peak, dir., 2025) is just one of several videos advocating bike commuting, because its accountability, consistency, and lifestyle integration make it a unique way to improve mental and physical health. The testimonies in countless appended comments are even more inspiring.

Happy and harmless Thai immigrant May Lilaonitkul is caught Switching Lanes (Guy Wilkinson, dir., 2023) after she restores a bicycle to explore with gratitude her new home, San Francisco, California. Canned sardines better describes motorists, who choose their transportation specifically to avoid all contact with environment and human involvement, versus curious and vulnerable bicyclist who are glad to be alive and interactive.

Ride (Dean Johnson, dir., 2021) profiles wrench tech Ian Downing enjoying and reviving bicycles in Tumut, NSW, Australia in conjunction with Chris and Gemma Russell of Tom’s Outdoors. Dean has also made other outdoors short documentaries including one on bikepacking, which highlights laden bikes and lovely terrains.

Some songs definitely reference while others just remind you of bicycling. Below are two of each, respectively. Note: Official List has just been updated.

Caitie (Caitlin Claessens), I Like to Ride My Bicycle [juvenile], single video, self, 2019 “I ride it everywhere. Anywhere you need to go, a bike can take you there... It’s easy as can be... and you can ride with me!”

Crepes, Bicycle Man, single video, Spunk Records, 2018

“I would really like to watch you ride, and always feel you by my side... You have a way of walking ‘round; Your feet, they never touch the ground. And you are shining... For me, oh, our shadow in the morning sun becomes my fun.” - Jefferson Airplane, Watch Her Ride, After Bathing At Baxters, RCA Records, 1967

“I remembered the days when I wasn't afraid of the sunshine, but now it beats down on the asphalt land... We can run but we can't hide from it. Of all possible worlds we only got one; we gotta ride on it. Whatever we've done, we’ll never get far from what we leave behind. Baby, we can run, run, run, but we can't hide.” Brent Mydland, Grateful Dead, We Can Run, Built to Last, Arista, 1989

Lion Shlain

“Hunger stopped him... death has gagged his accusations. We are free now... now we can end the world. We’re not guilty, he was crazy, and it's been going on for ten thousand years. Take your place on The Great Mandella as it moves through your brief moment of time. Win or lose now, you must choose now, and if you lose you've only wasted your life.” Mary Allin Travers and Peter Yarrow, The Great Mandella (The Wheel of Life), Album 1770, Warner Records, 1967

Snowballs are soft weapons of aggression. Nigh on 60 years ago before limited access highways confined traffic and prohibited pedestrians, bullies on main streets would pelt weaker, younger boys and taunt peers to target trailers whose tractor drivers didn’t care or notice. Drew a line at private passenger vehicles, because that might blind drivers and cause accidents. Scolded them to cease and desist, but they did it anyway, drew motorist reprisals, and induced scary chases by one obese schmuck in an obscenely big obtusely empty truck after another on route to a brewery six-pack that could instead tuck into a bike basket or rack. Could‘ve died in a road rage incident before altogether ducking local pack. Abet a felony attack, go to prison along with actual perp. What the frack!

Advice given out of empathy gets embraced less often than ignored. For similar reasons, nobody twice reads this blog so repeatedly abhorred. Instantly loses half of Americans, who only comprehend on a 5th grade level, texts scored 90+ on Flesch–Kincaid test. Never wanted to repeat self, stand out from a crepuscular profile, stick to a single topic, or surpass an inscrutable 10 F-K’s. With propaganda, persistence pays, so one must mundanely double down with every deceit whenever common sense or disbelief disputes. It’s exhausting, mirthless, and overcome simply by stating facts and telling truths from start. Your appeals to better selves does not presume your own blameless perfection in social criticism pursuits.

What causes aggression? Carryover from primitive hunters? Natural tendency in human DNA? Unfulfilled immature needs? A century of psychology offered burgeoning insights into how situations evolved from swarm predators into what they now are, lone wolves enabled by interconnected society. Can savage instincts be sublimated into sports skills? Recognize outrageous responses not only from spoken testimony or written transcripts, but study of body movements and facial expressions, a holistic right brained approach that had been culturally deselected, as late neurophysician Dr. Leonard Shlain argued, through left brained conditioning, linear storytelling, and mathematical reasoning.

All tribes were once organized around goddesses and matriarchs; feminism was a clue matriarchy was staging a comeback. Lionesses lead hunts to this day. Map reading is right brained; it fuses absorption of a complex image with memories of ground based landmarks. Through intuitive reckoning you leapfrog left brained grid searches to find your destination. Christianity was likewise founded upon immaculate birth and nurturing femininity, though later appropriated by impotent patriarchs who produced somber tomes sans graven images. Protestants banned worship of Mary, Mother of Jesus, while pursuing their witch hunts against herbal healers and wise women, who made these misogynists feel guilty and inferior, which they were. Swine persecute saints who personify their reneged pacts, such as community, decency, equality, legality, marriage, and stewardship.

In his 2015 Address to Joint Congress, the late Pope Francis urged Americans to, “Defend and preserve the dignity of your fellow citizens in the tireless and demanding pursuit of the common good, for this is the chief aim of all politics. A political society endures when it seeks, as a vocation, to satisfy common needs by stimulating the growth of all its members, especially those in situations of greater vulnerability or risk... [and] to avert the most serious effects of the environmental deterioration caused by human activity. I am convinced that we can make a difference, and I have no doubt that the United States – and this Congress – have an important role to play. Now is the time for courageous actions and strategies, aimed at implementing a ‘culture of care’ and an integrated approach to combating poverty, restoring dignity to the excluded, and at the same time protecting nature.” Previous administration heeded this call. New regime calls it socialism, denies his divinity, and does exactly the opposite. Let’s see what new American Pope Leo XIV has to say about it. As Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost he opined, “We need to hear more from leaders in the Church, to reject racism and seek justice,” and weighed in on X already severely critical of entire leadership, their migrant contempt, religious heresies, and vaccination eschewal. Gates Foundation cut childhood deaths and diseases worldwide in half by distributing free vaccines. Catholic adults number about 53 million, 30% of potential voters, not that they always align with papacy or cast ballots on conscience.

Mandela Effect has masses of people believing a false narrative, such as civil rights activist and hunger striker Nelson Mandela died in prison, when he actually survived bigoted apartheid, cruel Musks, and decades of undeserved detention to serve as The First President of South Africa. Conversely, a shamanistic mandella is a decorative dreamcatcher derived by first nation people from a ceremonial shield. Similarly named mandala is a circular Buddhist artifact meant to focus upon the Universal Wheel of Life: emergence, existence, purpose, recurrence. You could easily get confused among these homologous hypotheses. Or double your fun or pleasure by living your life on a real wheeled wonder. According to O’Brien’s Third Policeman, riders’ molecules merge with bicycles; therefore this delight by design can also fight to be seen in full light.

Hypocritical Republicans hypnotized a third of American voters into affirming hype of a purloined election, The Big Lie, while updating their McCarthy/Nixon enemy list with those they always accuse: Authors, dissidents, educators, journalists, judges, lawyers, leftists, news media, political scientists, protestors, students, visa holders, vulnerable innocents, and whoever might debunk boldface lies, refute insane delusions, and unmask fascist propaganda. Toilet Paper USA wants to wipe campuses and schools squeaky clean from whatever doesn’t support patriarchal white supremacy. Bears mention, but totally had it hearing of such deplorable, harmful, and serial behaviors.

Do-nothings of both parties did head every government agency and ran up huge public debt before revenge term of Felon 47, but their firings were intended to curtail public services and destroy each agency, not to punish them personally. With no mandate after a rigged election and recording lowest poll numbers ever 100 days into office, he now boasts of quixotic victories, dares to proclaim he “rules the world”, and expects to banish everyone who fails to further his megalomaniacal ambitions. Huh! He’s supposed to serve American people not self having amassed billions in personal enterprises that monetize presidency, like selling US visas to drug lords for $5 million and White House stays to foreign adversaries. He hasn’t paid the half billion he owes in court judgments. Absolute power corrupts absolutely; constitution limits executive power far more than he’s willing to stomach. Poison to everything he touches, even McDonald’s sales have plunged since he “worked” there.

Relentlessly ridiculing this lying Gemini social butterfly just promotes his schtick and solidifies sympathies among his idolators. Every crass antic or juvenile tantrum is another test of what he can get away with; for example, when he violated rights of Venezuelan gangsters, few minded... good riddance. Tempts you to get used to concept, normalize cruelty, and overlook a crossroads in critical thinking. But deporting doesn’t entitle incarcerating illegals, only warranted if actually convicted of crimes and sentenced to finite terms, not de facto life imprisonment under Nazi death camp conditions. But next steps were to expel a foreigner with a clean record and legal status, then four innocent children who are actual citizens, having been born here, because, according to Magastan logic, you’re not a citizen if your parents aren’t, even though Constitution expressly says otherwise. Isn’t First Lady an immigrant? Then he defies Federal Appellate and Supreme Court rulings to return them all, instigating a constitutional crisis, because Constitution doesn’t grant unilateral power to him, a convicted sociopath and suspected space alien who expects laws to exempt him alone. Historians characterize such tyrants who’ve tried these tactics as exemplary failures who’ve foreited millions of lives including their own. How many must die before 25th Amendment, Section 4, gets evoked for first time?

When usurpers defy justices, destroy rule by law, and thumb noses at coequal branches of government, America appears lawless and unattractive to asylum seekers. It’s intentional, just another deterrent to immigrants they dread, along with economic recession, homelessness, joblessness, lack of entitlements, and no safety net. Racist radical oligarchs want entire continent as their caucasian, English speaking, private country club. Arabs, Blacks, Chinese, Latinos, and members of groups other than what they consider themselves join in critical processes including farming, manufacturing, mining, sanitation, transportation, water purification, and whatever populace needs and wants. But oppressors gamble that starving workers with skills will submit to slavery for food scraps and roofs to sleep under. No, the most heavily armed population on earth will simply revolt and surely depose these despots in short order.

Ai Weiwei’s Forever Bicycles [shown] is a metal sculpture made from between 1,200 to 3,100 interconnected units meant as a homage to Shanghai’s luxury brand Forever that once cost 4 times an average worker’s monthly salary, so a fetish his family couldn’t afford to buy him as a deprived youth. Inspired by Marcel Duchamp, this perplexingly iterative “found art” concept debuted in Austin, Texas (2009), was subsequently disassembled then reassembled multiple times in varying forms, and now resides in Manitoba, Canada. Forever Bicycles contrasts notions of machines liberating riders and shackles of living within a repressed society, a metaphor for freedom versus responsibility, much like Bike&Chain. China’s most famous modern artist, with scores of large scale works and solid reputation as a human rights activist, he has an eye way way open to governmental atrocities and lies; protests against have gotten him detained or held in prison without charges, and his passport revoked.

Weiwei’s similar but smaller Forever bicycle sculpture was installed at Art Gallery of New South Wales, Sydney, Australia (2016, then 2022), as well as Artz Pedregal in SW Mexico City (2018). His tons of Sunflower Seeds (approximately 100 million handmade individual porcelain units from a town that used to make imperial chinaware) at the Tate in London (2010) was allegedly radioactive and extremely controversial for criticizing blind loyalty to an undeserving leader and consumer culture enabled by exploiting mind-numbing labor. His Alcatraz installation, including a huge colorful but confined dragon kite ready to take flight symbolizing freedom in a cage that once interred conscientious objectors, dovetails with new regime talking about resurrecting this crumbling island fortress as a prison for dissidents, another human rights violation by a fascist authoritarian bound to backfire.

If you go by bicycle, you never have to endure thaasophobia, fear of boredom, because life immediately becomes more thrilling, mostly reiterating, “You are here now,” never whining, “Are we there yet?” Pedaling through space/time makes you grateful for simple pleasures of reading, resting, and writing about your adventures. At some point in late 19th Century when god died, literary tourism by bike supplanted religious pilgrimages on foot, though both sought destinations referred to in books. On the other hand, cherophobia involves an irrational aversion to joy, often a result of letdowns and losses after having once been happy, which deters sufferers and voters from participating in fun or necessary activities. Triggers might include an equipment breakdown, lion encounter, rigged election, road accident, or stolen bike, which can be remedied once funk and rage pass.

Has criminality been rampant? Not according to crime statistics, if you discount new administration’s hundreds of egregious and unlawful acts. Has law enforcement been inefficient? Too few judges do slow due process. GOP added Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to cover stuff formerly handled by DOD and FBI. DHS runs an unhinged ICE, which kidnaps citizens, then sends to foreign prisons without constitutional rights to arrest warrant, arraignment, indictment, motions, trial, sentence, then incarceration solely in the jurisdiction where offense was committed. Deportees should be released to countries from which they came, not shanghaied to gulags elsewhere, which should be reserved for convicted drug smugglers, Latino gangsters, Russian mobsters, sex slavers, and such scumbags from those respective countries already serving time in own prisons. Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Agency (CISA) and FEMA have been jokes since rolled into DHS. USPS’s renowned reliability went down drain right after they appointed the Joyless 75th Postmaster, highest paid at $341,000/year and least successful, recently forced out, and to be replaced by another lame lackey until service is illegally privatized. Back when Congress established mail service as a constitutional right, Ben Franklin’s annual salary was $1,000, $33,500 in today’s currency, less than 10%.

Monster Summer (David Henrie, dir., 2024) leads little leaguers Devers, Reed, and Wexler (Abby James Witherspoon, Mason Thames, and Julian Lerner, respectively) to investigate numinous occurrences in their Martha’s Vineyard neighborhood. Hauntings in fact, not just fiction, are well documented there. To further case, Reed enlists retired detective Carruthers (Mel Gibson). Didn’t see but seems a low budget ripoff of Ghostbusters, Goonies, Sandlot, Stranger Things, and The Black Phone, all of which also feature bicycling teens. Might have been interested for its pro-cycling scenes if girlfriend beater gun toter Gibson weren’t involved. Besides, will already be protesting a live monster in high office come summer through No King events.

A monster challenge faces Vijay 69 (Akshay Roy, dir., 2025), who on the cusp of his 8th decade on earth decides to tackle a triathlon race: swim, bike, run. At actually 69 years old, star Anupam Kher performed his own stunts. Hindi language feel-good film won 4 awards, but will now be subjected to tariffs as a foreign produced movie, yet another attempt at intimidating jedi heroes who might defy sith control of galaxy and relay a message of hope to rebel resistance.

Blot an Inkstain

Activism advances with the first drop of ink to stain a page. Think of all those boycott handouts, homily sermons, petition forms, picket placards, political podcasts, position posters, slogan signs, and tattoo ink on stage. Whenever you want, you’re free to make a stink, even publish volumes full of outright lies and ruses in disguise. Doesn’t mean there are no consequences, though slander requires that you cause strife and name man before you need legal defenses. Famous cases as Galileo Galilei and Giordano Bruno wound up costing these truthful authors freedom and life. Wars were already and will again be fought over Bible and Quran. Whatever you pen or text can be boldly blotted, ignominiously ignored, or terroristically taken; citizens, “home grown” dissidents you probably know, might even inadvertently invite assassination or deportation to some gulag beyond Gulf of Mexico.

Better to do your duty anonymously, in silence, which is how essential business will always be conducted, despite adage, “Once all is said and done, more will have been said than done.” Goes along with, “In any project, 80% of work will be done by 20% of participants,” because corrupt louts who don’t contribute are busy claiming credit while complicating completion. Folks are largely unaware of what transpires, just rely on their needs being fulfilled. They don’t climb mountains, lead donkeys, pick beans, reconcile tariffs, route from foreign ports to local roasters, then stock in stores just to grab a cup of joe on the go. But they are responsible for improving own behaviors and state systems to avoid an otherwise predictable apocalypse. Drugs and liquor avoid issues, deaden pain, goad deeds, but leave you vulnerable to villains foisting them on you for their own gain.

Inconsistencies can indicate betrayal and redundancies reveal coercion, though conversely may show virtues of growth and tenacity. Intelligence is specifically defined by adapting to situations as they change. Life transcends stagnation upon tides of transmogrification through personal codes of conduct. You need neither forgiveness nor permission to respond with kindness, but reciprocity has limits. Cede a millimeter, monsters seize a megameter. Amorality backfires and crashes. Empathy keeps tires rolling through trenches. A just society cares for patients with defects, illnesses and injuries. If one suffers, all suffer emergencies. It’s called civilization.

"With humans it is like bicycles. Only when pedaling can they comfortably keep balance. [Beim Menschen ist es wie beim Velo. Nur wenn er faehrt, kann er bequem die Balance halten,"] - Albert Einstein, letter to son Eduard, 1930

When you stop doing, you start dying. In 8th decade but not retired, Labann still rides and writes despite joint arthritis and spiritual “authoritis”. Hit roads through 4 seasons, though outings are less long and more frequent, and weather dependent. Read every day, especially when wet deters, but really despise a lot of what’s accessible, none more than chatbox Cthulhu claptrap, as daft as rats in the wall or Rorschach fold blot tests, the diametric opposite of passionate but worrisome human communion, why conversation exists after all. You don’t need to quote geniuses to engage readers. Endowed with basic human rights, you’re entitled to choose amount, counterpoise, orientation, quality, and/or tenor of input among every other attribute. Prefer own immaculate literary tapestry covering relatable praxis, though persistence of resistance galls youth and stains recent correspondence. Nice to be involved in a solo global project full of current events and original contents that’s both devoid of cash and not for stash, so unaffected by duties, tariffs or taxes.

Rate of change in 2025 America has been cringeworthy and dizzying, intended to browbeat and cower citizens into terrifying isolated bubbles. Calling well run government programs fraudulent schemes will cause chaos and cost illegitimate DOGE bros their interloping roles. Donnis The Menace acting in contempt of courts, alienating longtime allies, breaking constitutional laws, destroying patriot families, dismantling critical functions, disrupting world trade, extorting eager apostles, misinterpreting SCOTUS decisions, rescinding contracts and programs only to rehire when public goes ballistic, usurping congressional powers, and violating oath of office will prove catastrophic for entire country including POTUS. Seems that’s the oligarchs’ end game. For half a century R in Republican signified Recession. Whiplash policy pronouncements drive markets down or up for purposes of insider investor windfalls and small shareholder losses to tune of $8 trillion. Rulers want an impoverished populace subservient to their puppet, not a proud clown who thinks he’s king. Too bad for a simian silverback not long for this world who only cares about himself, his image, and own wealth. “Ripping us off?” He never paid taxes or released filings; those who roar loudest are frequently the guiltiest whose fondest proclivity is to maraud with impunity. Kleptocrats not only routinely divert treasury assets into their offshore accounts, they want to turn US government into a private money funnel and piggy bank where they evade criminal indictment, deserved incarceration, fund restitution, and property seizure. 

What if factories close, farms fail, refineries shut, supermarkets empty, utilities cease, and web collapses? All are likely outcomes of derailing world economy. Supply chains could erode to survival mode within days or weeks; major retailers already foresee empty shelves. Whole system might have been rigged, but at least it worked a bit for stalwart majority. Once eliminated, it’ll be replaced by a minority syndicate with promising memes and thieving schemes. Revolutions arose on less. Sides will be chosen. Blood spilled. Diseases and pestilence spread. Harm will last forever. Must billions die to restore rights? Doomsaying is lazy and pathetic, though on April 2 WWIII began as a simultaneous assault on every country except Russia, a failing dictatorship heavily sanctioned. When asked why, glib excuse was the Ukraine war; why then were tariffs levied on Ukraine? America is in an actual but invisible civil war, and alleged but imaginary border wars with Canada and Mexico, with rumors of waging war against Europe in general, potentially a bid to remain in office. Nobody voted for this.

Vote suppression occurs through ballot cancelations in districts of opposing party, bans of early and mail-in votes to exclude overseas soldiers and overtime workers, condensed one-day voting, disenfranchising married women who changed their last names, districts redrawn for partisanship, impeding traffic to polls through bomb threats and other stunts, individual identity challenges, and stacking federal and state courts with judges who allow these tactics. If any sound improbable or ridiculous to you, be aware all have already occurred numerous times in every state. Conspiracy theorists claim that COVID was released on purpose to keep citizens from voting, because when fewer show up at polls Republican's small 25% minority increases its chances of winning. GOP’s disreputable VIPs play dirty, persecute mercilessly, terrorize domestically, and would terminate voting altogether if they could. If you must do this, you’re not serving oath of office, probably committing serial crimes, and should end term to endorse a public servant who’ll take your own seat before you secure a spot in hell.

One wonders if these radicals are blind to their own hypocrisy or focused on their tunnel vision agenda. “For decades, right-wing ideologues complained that any safety net offered by the government was a form of ‘social engineering’ that interfered with the ‘natural order’ of the market... highly engineered systems designed to keep money flowing upward; they cannot operate without a carefully constructed legal framework; and they largely consist of social networks of people hiring those from their demographic in-group (such as fraternity brothers) rather than being some pure and godly measure of human greatness... After enduring years of this market fundamentalist whining, it is laughable to see radical tech libertarians destroying America so they can engage in the mother of all social engineering projects.” - Jen Sorensen, 2025

Wall of Shame

Stable geniuses accept and appreciate place names originated long ago as cultural artifacts and historical reminders connecting past to present warning what worst intentions will threaten. Dictators want to rename everything [i.e., Tsaritsyn to Stalingrad] that might prompt those they wish to oppress that they physically outnumber and probably could easily overthrow these tyrants. Your real enemy is not a cruel ideology, but specific sociopaths who ignore aftermaths that cause bloodbaths. “Pleonexia... an insatiable craving to have what belongs to another... To deny and strip away what underlies society’s wellness is to shoot oneself in the foot or worse. Greed will never be a necessity, just capitalist propaganda and persistent programming used by advertisers to sell things that deplete resources and fill war chests to perpetuate evil.” - Labann Says, 2015

Juggling despair and hope describes life itself. Courage smothers doldrums. Hope acts responsibly after addressing and exposing risks, not ignoring them. Heigh ho, do go off to work to dig into salacious dirt, mine diamonds, and nurture growth. Never going to be famous if you lack heroic credentials and pack paragraphs too densely. Public consensus can inform an appropriate resistance to un-American, pro-Putin authoritarianism. Fact USA isn’t fascist is one of its finest features. Latest polls report POTUS disapproval by two out of three asked. Centuries of commitment to freedom earned its role as world leader; only oppressors want repression, slavery, and tariffs intended to leverage world’s biggest marketplace, by which they are idiotically destroying it. Are your civil rights being sold to reconcile $50 trillion in public debt and surrendered to appease foreclosing creditors and foreign foes? No, it’s an excuse to steal trillions from you all before bottom drops out, an extremist zero sum game in which even supposed winners lose everything. Burnt bridges, global stoppages, mass layoffs, and scorched earth yield needless madness. Would be exponentially simpler recover stolen funds from billionaires, who can’t spend such wealth over a lifetime, only use it to exert power over masses, and secretly offshore it all sequestering it from circulation thereby threatening your survival. Why not just cancel federal debt, cheat creditors, and collapse rackets? It’s called leveling the playing field, and it’s required at increasing intervals.

Balance is one of 6 basic human senses along with hear, see, smell, taste, and touch. Balance in all its forms - essay length, exercise/rest, health homeostasis, justice scales, Lagrange points, ledger sheets, mathematical equality, moderation always, personal composure, posting frequency, prudent judgment, reasonable reciprocity, relationship harmony, right gear to shift into, sangfroid presence, self control, staying upright, steady handedness, things owed versus owned, universal equilibrium, wealth evenness, ZPG - is a faculty bicycling strengthens more than anything else in which you might engage, as well as a stimulant to all human bodily responses, up to 53 in total depending how you define them.

As described by ecopsychologist Dr. Michael J. Cohen’s List, Labann can personally testify to fearing death in traffic and feeling gravity’s pull on demanding climbs and screaming descents. Removed from cycling situation, you notice neither as much. Of course, integral to bicycling experiences are bonking for lack of sweet glycogen, hearing noises vacuum packed motorists don’t, meditating dreamily, navigating space, noting weather, seeing everything, sensing time passing or unseen presences, shivering in cold, smelling aromas from dung to petrichor, soaking up heat, sporting for adventure’s sake, surviving dangers, sweating back humidity, tasting whatever’s in the air, and thinking logically. But pupation? Wrapped in lycra might you resemble a butterfly metamorphosing beyond former self? Bicycling heightens awareness of all that occurs, once happened, or possibly could, and with that obligates one to pass observations along. Your opportunity to find wellness, follow your instinct to belong, and reconnect to nature looms, according to League of American Bicyclists. National Ride a Bike Day is May 4th. Bike to Work Week is May 12th to 18th with Bike to Work Day on 16th.

Poli-Urethane

“Father, father, we don't need to escalate. You see, war is not the answer for only love can conquer hate. You know we've got to find a way to bring some lovin' here today. Picket lines and picket signs: Don’t punish me with brutality. Talk to me so you can see, oh, what's going on... Everybody thinks we're wrong; but who are they to judge us simply 'cause our hair is long?” Al Cleveland, Obi Benson, and Marvin Gaye, What’s Going On, What’s Going On, Tamla, 1971 - Protest song inspired by police brutality on Bloody Thursday in Berkeley hit #1 among Billboard R&B singles, made money for Live Aid chartities, and was covered profitably several times.

Bike&Chain exists because of marginalized bicycling culture, and recognizes “Fertilization Administration” has declared war on citizen cyclists, independent women, and public servants, so any program that supports lane designations, reproductive rights, or safety nets is now forfeit unless they unite to fight. Not to justify latest tirades to youths, culture inseparably intertwines with politics, though often authors won’t admit it. Small shop owners as Aaron Johnson of GoGrava must react to de minimis shutdown and new tariffs. Seems politics at its core tries to score through biased polls, deliberate lies, and varnished truths. David Nyberg debates, “Deception appears to be normal... a workday attribute of practical intelligence,” though ethics advise elsewise on sticky evidence. Mucilaginous polyurethane dries into several bike components including apparel cloth, bar tape, helmet inserts, inner tubes, pump gaskets, saddle shells, and such accoutrements. You're not a thane just because you back a baby daddy dictator politically, have assets worth billions, and want to be called a doge or minister; you must get elected first to govern or represent nation's constituents.

Bike Radar compiled a list of Best Cycling Books 2025, and said it’s for “cycling bookworms”; instead, most titles would only appeal to endurance athletes and wannabe racers rather than poli sci majors. Even James Hibbard’s The Art of Cycling (Quercus, 2021, 320 pp.), previously reviewed, has nothing to do with art or culture at all, rather what’s in it mentally for you, though more recently published than bulk of titles they recommend. By assembling citations and specifying contexts you elevate importance of items probably beyond their worth. Not surprisingly, Labann’s noncommercial volumes were again overlooked.

Zachary Mooradian Furness, Put The Fun Between Your Legs! The Politics and Counterculture of the Bicycle "(University of Pittsburg, 2005, 228 pp.) - Peer reviewed doctoral dissertation includes an extensive bibliography and short filmography, and touches upon all historic points of bicycle advocacy. “My analysis is focused upon the politics of cycling in the United States... largely based upon a critique of car culture, and with it, the ideological assumptions that inform our labor practices, consumption habits, uses of technology, and our relationship to our material world... important to analyze because globalization has resulted in the mass exportation of American culture and economics to other parts of the world.” Dicatators hate that, so VOA was just silenced. Must’ve been something in the air, since Bike&Chain also had been written by then.

Treatment equality among bicyclists, motorists, and pedestrians has been federal law since 1990, but same old culture war persists after decades. Federal Highway Administration officialy reaffirmed in 2010, "Because of the benefits they provide, transportation agencies should give the same priority to walking and bicycling as is given to other transportation modes." Federal regulations prohibit planners from impeding bicycling or severing routes bicyclists use during new construction; bridges must accommodate bicycling and walking. Despite long established guidelines, mounting lawsuit losses, and repeated court injunctions, new regime bullies onward, defies constitution, and ignores observance. But such criticism assumes normality and precedents one hopes, not criminality and disobedience from public servants. Charity directors, law enforcers, and school teachers who witness incivility may somethimes turn into misanthropes. Government officials are supposed to work for your reciprocal cooperation and toward your best interests. Seems cabinet of April fools, Mad Hatter, and March Hare rather make millions of resentful antagonists. Better consider what they do, not believe what serial liars say, to those they harm.

Ken Avidor, Bicyclopolis (2017, 98 pp.) - Intricate bike-centric graphic novel 17 years in the making was self published by this Minneapolis based cartoonist, first mentioned in March of 2011 while still being developed. Through a time travel theme, Avidor predicts where demented environmental and political abandonment lead. Amidst a global climate crisis, it’s not the time to shutter NOAA or withdraw from Paris Accord.

DeFranzy, Cycling is Freedom [German pop], single video, self, 2018 - Just so, suffragette, and when they begin to infringe upon basic motility, call it what it is: verboten slavery, vicious repression, or vote suppression. In a democracy, everyone gets a vote, women in majority foremost, unless theonomic ideology of Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaiden’s Tale comes to pass as a direct consequence of Project 2025. Can’t happen here? Read Genesis 29:29. Already has with sex slaves, toxic bros, and worse offenses upon horizon.

Adonia E. Lugo, PhD, Bicycle / Race: Transportation, Culture & Resistance (Microcosm Publishing, 2018, 192 pp.) - Cultural anthropologist defines “mobility justice”, and discusses racial discrimination and sustainable transport. Gets Labann thinking of how bicycles are stolen and vandalized less often than cars, with a huge black market for catalytic converters, quarter panels, and wheel rims to fulfill. Bicycles don’t suit lazy thieves, who'd rather plunder US Treasury, world's biggest target. "Infrastructure neglect" is just another tactic to funnel funds their way. Senator Booker's filibuster set record straight: American people are in charge.

“In mid-2018, women in Saudi Arabia gained the freedom to ride a bicycle, and the efforts of women’s activists such as Baraah Luhaid played a part in this, as she established Spokes Hub... We often see the bicycle just as a form of transport, but it’s much more than that; it’s a classless item that billions of different people across the globe own.” Zain Hussain, The bicycle: a symbol of unification, Medium magazine, 2019 - So, Saudi women are bestowed this right a century later than Americans and Europeans? Wow!

Ken Avidor, Courier, single video, self, 2019; short animation related to a future dystopia where bicycle couriers have to deliver food to front line battle zones instead of Door Dash, Grubhub or Uber Eats after petroleum paradigm crashed. First in a series where sabotage hero poses as a bicycle courier.

Avidor Family Singers, My Bike is Freedom, single video, self, 2020 - Short Ken Avidor animation with an original song. Bicycling is the fifth freedom, along with freedoms from tyranny and want, and of religion and speech, all of which are at risk under authoritarian attack.

Max Whittle, Cycling is Freedom, single video, self, 2020
It’s a sentiment that adheres longer than orange facepaint, more like steadfast shellac.

Peter Cox and Till Koglin (editors), The Politics of Cycling Infrastructure: Spaces and (In)Equality (Policy Press, 2020, 261 pp.) - “Physical infrastructure is currently posited as the primary key to unlock cycling’s potential as a primary mode of sustainable transport... Governance mechanisms that provide for and respond to citizen voices... recognize the need for and implement change... Infrastructure is never neutral and always inherently political.” Most articles in this anthology based analyses on European cities. In USA, conservative congressmen aren’t even holding public forums anymore.

Some American mayors brazenly act out their bicycling abhorrence. According to Jody Rosen’s article The Bicycle as a Vehicle of Protest, (The New Yorker, 2020), “N.Y.P.D. has a long history of hostility to cyclists... police have used questionable, sometimes violent tactics to sweep up participants in Critical Mass, the guerrilla group rides that aim to promote cyclists’ rights... Transportation issues are social-justice issues... American bike riders [are] of all races and backgrounds, but... The term ‘invisible riders’ has gained currency among critics who decry the marginalization of black, brown, female, and working-class cyclists by establishment activists.” Bike boom at the time kept reluctant bus riders moving alternatively, minimizing recession effects of pandemic quarantines.

Chris Watson, The Bicycling Guitarist, pedals beyond politically correct into some sort of unbalanced chauvinist rant while playing original tunes, poising himself and his Stratocaster guitar, and riding his 1977 Schwinn Sportabout 10-speed in circles.

The Bicycling Guitarist fea. Chris Watson, Repoman, Elektra’s Room, self, 2020 “Oh, Repoman. He likes my band. So I guess my Schwinn is safe from being repossessed. That means it was possessed more than once. Possessed and depossessed, then repossessed. But, fortunately, fortunately it's an ‘exorcise bike’.” Among a half dozen albums, this oddly appears to be only song that directly references bicycling.

American cycling team gets Trapped Inn (Leah Sturgis, dir., 2024) at a remote European mountain lodge; teammates then start unexpectedly dying. Taps into contagion angst. Peloton protagonists Connor (Matt Rife) and Greg (Robert Palmer Watkins) compete to solve this otherworldly mystery. Horror film genre merely mirrors and woefully understates what's now actually occurring because of DOGE meddling in earned benefits, established services, and foreign aid.

Heartfelt 2024 testimony from Claire Pomykala of Living By Bike declares that bicycling at all is a political act. “Resist capitalist forces and lifestyles that sit, to fight status quo, to reconnect with nature, to recognize our ignorance: bicycling is inherently political... Bicycling is revolution.” Battle hardened Claire has bike-packed from Atlanta to Oz through Europe, learned hands-on loads of lore, and taught self a myriad of truths through living vulnerable to what world provides. New US administration believes it can rescind visas. restrict travel, and strip citizenship from anyone who opposes their goal to control, because laws only apply to you, not them. Bicycling is human, not conservative, liberal, or partisan; all demographics ride except abject invalids and beer swilling, coal-rolling, extreme right, fossil fuel addicted wimps, who may or may not notice X's tweet logo now includes a sieg heil salute despite billions in stockholder losses undermining temporary victory. As in all crime syndicates, fraudulent DOGE forwards same fascist agenda yet insulates felon POTUS from prosecution. Unless you're a multimillionaire, you'll pay more taxes and suffer loss of services.

Montreal, Quebec has enjoyed better bike accommodations since Claire Morissette’s advocacy in 1990’s. Yet after decades many residents still don’t get it. A short Oh The Urbanity! documentary, I Went to an Anti-Bike-Lane Revolt (Patrick Murphy, dir., 2024) shreds local misconceptions about alleged bike issues of ableism, ageism, school safety, and such notions adopted without regard of indisputable evidence to the contrary. Everyone is mistreated, some more than others, though goal is to avoid egregious examples. Bruised egos can be self inflicted, so too close to exercising personal freedoms to cure. Roads mistreat bicyclists who nevertheless ride and tolerate them.

Wes Marshall, PhD, PE, Killed by a Traffic Engineer (Island Press, 2024, 424 pp.) - A professor of civil engineering whistleblower contends that AASHTO (American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials) guidelines aren’t wholly based on inclusive safety or sound science. “There wasn’t nearly as much science behind the numbers as the 1,000-page manuals make it seem.” No sh*t! says Labann, who spent decades battling bull and writing manuals. Since 1899 when they began counting vehicle crash fatalities, 4 million Americans have died, many times that globally, more Americans than all military conflicts in which they fought including founding revolution. Best laid plans of Three E’s - Education, Enforcement, and Engineering - are rife with shortcomings among texting, tired, and twisted motorists, planners, and police.

“Asking Americans to sacrifice their beloved cars is not a winning political message, but helping them rediscover something they love more can change the world.” Steven Goodridge, The Conservative Case for Walking and Bicycling, Medium magazine, 2024 - Informative article appends a nice bibliography. Could continue with citations and contexts, but do conclude politics concern cyclists. It's too easy to round out paragraphs with so many asinine, bizarre, criminal, and despicable executive fiats signed daily, then immediately struck down by courts as illegal and unconstitutional. Forever forward, forge past onto next spin session and subsequent post toward velorution.

Spilt Champagne

“President he’s got his war; folks don’t know just what it’s for. Nobody gives us rhyme or reason. Have one doubt they call it treason. We’re chicken feathers all without one nut. Goddamn it! Tryin' to make it real compared to what.” - Eddie Harris, Gene McDaniels, and Les McCann, Compared to What, Swiss Movement, Atlantic, 1969... album certified gold and song covered by 270 other performers.

Le Demi-Fond was once a 100 kilometer velodrome event where “the big motor” paced “the stayer”, that is, motorcyclist created a slipstream for drafting bicyclist running huge chainrings to reach speeds up to 124 mph. A popular spectacle from last century, it was inherently dangerous with track competitors and spectators killed and maimed until officially banned in 1994, though something similar is still how bicycle speed records are made on salt flats. Somewhat echoes e-bikes today, which quicken pace so each ride averages 3 to 5 mph faster. Riding bikes used to mean mere spinning; with e-bikes that becomes e-moting, because you frequently have to react in a panic and try to spin faster than motor boost, typically paused at 20 mph, to conserve charge for final segment on tired legs. Although sprayed champagne celebrates podium wins, spilt wine portends disaster. There’s no glory in top speed to which a cyclist strives, just a blur among crowds desperate for fresh air and smidgeon of exercise as Spring season finally arrives.

Level of being admired at zero percentage, aggregator Labann generously marches on never wanting to address attention needy POTUS insanity and wishing current term to be over permanently. Tired of turds dominating words downing out every voter democratically. “Halfway through”, demi-term election might overthrow oligarchy advantage. News used to be idea provoking specifics, not obviously vicious lies, gamely negotiated politics, not gas lit by wise guys. Where’s public outrage upon this perilous stage? Witch hunts describe going after officers doing their jobs who stood in your way when you committed a crime. If you keep misapplying and violating laws, you will be impeached and indicted every time. Whence and whither congressional counterbalance? Court rulings can only compel law abiders; marshals are their sole contempt enforcers if judges take a stance.

American People for nearly a century have long been the bulwark against wanton homicide and a stabilizing influence worldwide. Amagastan dupes don’t inherit this reputation. Christian Nationalists say, “Be charitable to yourself first,” in other words, stuff your pockets at someone else’s expense, even to where others perish or suffer for your greed and predation. They don’t know recipes for stone soups. Homeless beggar Christ amassed no coinage as a carpenter and fisherman, performed miracles and served strangers for free, for which he was crucified and interred penniless in donated linen and tomb by way of example on how to live divinely. To opposite extreme, Mango Mussolini is marching an army of mercs and orcs out of his lair, Mordor Lago, to murder mankind, spill blood, and wreak havoc. Slashing cybercrime mob surveillants, law enforcement agents, inspector general operatives, and national security staff leaves both them and you less protected against megalomaniacal psychopaths who’d burn planet and torture infants for a laugh.

Ruining how agencies run creates dissatisfaction meant to pave way to privatization, falsely reputed to improve efficiency. Taxpayers, which excludes many billionaires who evade paying, have invested literally hundreds of trillions in buildings, equipment, infrastructure, and workforce training. Consider post office with facilities and vehicles (Bezos drools), or military with jets, munitions, tanks, vessels, and weapons (Dumbo tools). Social Security (nobody’s fools) has $3 trillion in a trust fund you amassed. Fort Knox stores your tons of gold treasure, increased in value to $300 billion, enough to reduce public debt if liquidated. Unelected villains want to hand it all over to cronies to exploit for profit, leave citizens impoverished, raise service costs, and rob you blind. You’re already paying millions to El Salvador to inter a few hundred deportees not even indicted while stateside prisons remain full of convicted perps. Tariffs have nothing to do with encouraging domestic production; champagne only comes from France, as do thousands of other goods impossible to copy and only made abroad. It’s all a reality show for the cluelessly gung-ho, not sensible policy for vast majority.

Administrative decisions of late have been met with abject horror among three quarters of population. Not one campaign promise has been fulfilled, and vile edicts are being carried out despite federal court injunctions against. Conservative congress decided to cede their power as a coequal branch of government and let Felon 47 do his damnedest to destroy democracy, exploit war power act to deport without due process and stay in office, and target potential domestic enemies including political opponents and press reporters. How can half of supposed representatives support such unconstitutional injustice? Cowardly congressmen listened to advice not to answer questions or conduct forums. That’s admissible evidence of their violating oaths of office to stand for constituents. A quick fix would be to recall them individually from state to state, which would reverse curse of a slight GOP majority. Investigative journalists hold public officials accountable and shine a light on acts unlawful; otherwise, democracy dies in darkness.

When SCOTUS ruled in favor of Citizens United, it enabled billionaires to buy congressional seats among both major parties, call shots as they please, and determine all policies. Before oligarchs seized control, government had sustained many popular participant programs - Affordable Care, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Supplemental Nutrition - that a succession of Republicans since Reagan wanted to crush and divert funds from held accounts into hands of the richest few. Temptation to smash and steal was just too strong for self indulgent legislators and their stink tank lunatics. Brian Tyler Cohen argues, “This feels like betrayal... We are desperate for fighters... If this crop of elected officials won’t, then people are going to elect new ones who will.”

Make great again for whom? Criminal kleptocrats, crypto schemers, goon squads, greedy oligarchs, privatizing congresspeople, shrewd whores, storm troopers, white supremacists, and yes men. Everyone else will be banished, deported, or targeted. Better watch your back and pack a go-bag when you have to escape, especially congressionally appointed judges forced to follow constitution who block autocratic playbook, or dissidents and opponents to unitary executive rule. “You don’t impeach judges who issues orders you don’t like... Debate makes this country great,” said senior senator Bernie Sanders. Unless as slaves, there’ll be no quarter for Asians, Blacks, Indians, Latinos, seniors, or women. Sorry, MAGA-mob, you were literally sold a big perverse joke and a pig in a poke. Have to have faith they’ve miscalculated effects of mistreating military veterans and public servants, two groups who own lion’s share of nation’s war tactics and weapons expertise. Would not want to take on these patriots in any fight, especially ones that threaten their families.

Voter remorse? “I been a bad, bad, bad man... Remember the time when I eat you up? Yeah, I was a lie that you can't give up. If I was to cheat, oh no, would you see right through me? ...How you like me now? How you like me now?” The Heavy, The House That Dirt Built, Counter, 2009

To whom do you turn? Liam Turner (Robert Timothy Smith) ineptly scribbles a dyslexic Dear Santa (Bobby Farrelly, dir., 2024) letter to North Pole, but transposes characters and winds up with a visit from Dear Satan (Jack Black) from North Lope, who offers him 3 wishes for his soul. Black’s character turns out to be a demon on probation, not Prince of Darkness himself. In another such switcheroo, you got a convicted serial con man instead of a Leader of the Free World. “Slow down, Lance Armstrong,” says school crossing guard (Cate Freedman) to nemesis teacher Mr. Charles (P. J. Byrne), whose midlife crisis has him riding a racing bicycle about town on Christmas Day. They agree to go together for Chinese food, though he rethinks asking her to sit on his back rack, so they stroll instead.

Not all romances conclude happily ever after. In favorably received Netflix series One Day (Luke Snellin, dir., 2024), Episode 13, Dexter Mayhew (Leo Woodall) and Emma Morley (Ambika Mod) are an engaged couple in 2000, 14 years after they met in Edinburgh at their graduation ball. Having crossed paths for years, they are now planning their wedding. Dexter looks to open a café. Emma’s is about to publish her fourth novel. After a spat, she leaves Dexter an apology note, saying she still loves him and that she'll be five minutes late for their realty appointment to view a honeymoon house. On a rainy Saturday, Saint Swithin's Day, a careless motorist knocks Emma off her bicycle, and, despite wearing a helmet, she dies; foul weather must follow each day for next 40, according to folklore and screenplay.

Bicycling culture among contemporary Navajo Nation is the subject of documentary In The Dirt (T. C. Johnstone, dir., 2023) in conjunction with New Mexico non-profit Silver Stallion, where youth learn bicycle handling, mechanical repair, personal empowerment, and specialty coffee skills.

Dick Wolf’s scripted drama Law&Order: SVU, Season 16, Episode 4, Holden’s Manifesto (Jean de Segonzac, dir., 2014), portrays bike messenger and ignorable incel Holden March (John Karna, shown), who avenges his narcissist ego by murdering women he’s convinced wronged him by ignoring his awkward advances. Detective Amanda Rollins (Kelli Giddish) and Sergeant Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) have to ferret out and take down this serial slayer. Story is based on real life case Elliot Rodger's Retribution resulting in Isla Vista Killings of same year. Over 25 years, program has won 46 awards including 6 Primetime Emmys.

Pivotal scene in blockbuster musical Wicked (John M. Chu, dir., 2024) has fondling Elphaba Thropp (Cynthia Erivo) and Prince Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey) by bicycles spiriting off a lion cub in a basket that Oz (Jeff Goldblum) wants to cage along with all other animals. Harks back to original when Ms. Gulch put Toto in her basket. Creature mistreatment sets her on course to becoming Wicked Witch of the West. Though cut off to be continued before story concludes, this Wizard of Oz prequel was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won 2.

Big budget sci-fi bomb The Electric State (Russo Brothers, dirs., 2025), beside being among the most expensive movies ever made, takes on dystopian interface between artificial and human intelligence, but wastes many acting talents. Foster teen Michelle Greene (Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things. shown) channels previous role while battling evil tech CEO Ethan Skate (Stanley Tucci), bicycling about to muster a posse, and bringing back her comatose genius brother during a civil war instigated for profit in data memories. If not for bad character development and weak plot, you’d think audiences would identify with made-in-China “Tesler” boycott backstory, and react to EV insult reversal as hypocritical irony. Not masochistic enough to enjoy fiction so close to current events?

Baleful Wain

“I see you got your list out. Say your piece and get out. Yes, I get the gist of it, but it's alright. Sorry that you feel that way. The only thing there is to say, ‘Every silver lining's got a Touch of Grey.’ I will get by... I will survive.” - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, 1987

To stay authentic and topical today’s writers must surf ahead of a tsunami of social insanity within a tyrannical tube of factuality. They have to assess advertisements, arts, blogs, books, broadcasts, documentaries, edicts, interviews, manifestos, movies, music, newscasts, podcasts, poetry, posts, rap, speeches, TikTok, tweets, videos, vlogs, and what’s not even on this Sisyphean list while investigating in person both an artificial and natural world, specific spaces at times, either eager to commit murder and devour your corpse. No bubble or force field, only cloth, grey matter, leather, or lycra to protect, it’s hard for anyone to say for sure, if at all, what preserves one’s inner self from threats out there. While being absorbed, ingested and inhaled, world in turn swallows you whole, simultaneously bestowing and taking, crucifying and forgiving, furnishing and suffocating, punishing and rewarding.

Labann’s mission has always been to encompass all of bicycling culture, monitor sources as new examples emerge, and show how items interconnect. Too often lately that involves baleful reports of political smackdowns, such as a POTUS proclamation trying to reverse NYC’s smart and successful Congestion Tolls. For GOP, state sovereignty only applies when it suits their own hypocritical lies. Often here cited public datasets are disappearing; all hail fascist efficiency that funnels public treasures to billionaire parasites! Low class cowards and thugs attacked Palestinian Muslims during Ramadan, then extorted neighborly Canadians because they think they can. No Russian mobsters have been deported. Gitmo has no promised alien detainees. Government services are disappearing. Inflation worsens daily. Stock shares are tanking. Poles are doubling their army expecting a Russian incursion. Is WWIII on its way? News you can lose? All deter civilian bicycling.

Anyway, The Douche is in the White House, and Duffer’s on vacation, golfing again, while true men from founding fathers to honored patriots are rolling angrily in their graves. What FDR said echoes loudly, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Cruel and devious modus operandi define criminal sociopathy. Farm wains upon which they loaded Black Death casualties and fallen soldiers (“sold yer” out with huge cuts to veteran benefits and jobs) have been superseded by flat beds and trailer trucks for next inevitable Grey Death. Wailful days upon us warrant brown study and frown melancholy.

About time for a direction reversal: Hope of renewal springs eternal, thus perennial Easter festival. “Those trips a-wheel before the break of day, the pause to hear the morning songsters sing, the break of fast on berries by the way, the thirst assuaged by kneeling to the spring; The drill, the race, that memorable run, Quixotic like, in search of conquests fair - Each ‘joyed event returns like Summer sun, to warm the chillness of the Winter air.” - S. Conant Foster, A Midwinter Reverie, Wheel Songs, Poems of Bicycling, 1884

Not all bicycling memories melt into gratitude or warm your soul. How about brand new leather saddles before broken in or frozen fingertips throbbing as if seared by molten steel? Always attempted a last spin before weather set in for real, especially in winter when snowfall chases you home to stay until sun and wind strip streets of black ice and white depth, then watching out window day to day for another chance while trying to judge which bits of apparel will work under an ever varying conditional array. It’s an anniversary worth celebrating when single-ply short sleeve jersey and spandex shorts suffice. But paying the price panting between baking sun and grilling asphalt that waft watery mirages and wondering if you’ll complete course before wholly exhausted still haunt and menace, what Rachel Meltdown does to your typical MAGA clown. Self’s amuse abuse, or folly hobby, seems bombastic onanistic or depressive obsessive to someone else’s mentality.

Mary Mensana (Amanda Seyfried) is pregnant widow of a would-be environmental terrorist and rueful parishioner at First Reformed (Paul Schrader, dir., 2018), on eve of rural church’s 250th anniversary, where Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) serves as pastor to whom she rides her bicycle for emotional support. As an aside, a man does say Fred in reference to stodgy cyclists devoted to riding classic but outdated steel models such as a Peugeot Super Competition or Schwinn Varsity. This grim drama about climate despair, doctrinaire politics, hollow ceremony, and reproductive rights won Critic’s Choice Male Lead award for Hawke; screenplay was nominated for an Oscar.

Not finding a lot of new bicycle songs from dispirited Americans, composing still on wane, as previously described. Do note Europeans compiling abridged Youtube playlists, such as one from Germany of which only some of those not previously mentioned are listed below chronologically by release date. Interesting how France and Germany now stand together backing Ukraine’s resistance to Russia’s aggression after USA’s betrayal of democracy despite interwoven diversity and widespread mutiny of its citizens.

John Manchester, French Bicycle Music [piano instrumental], Blue Sky, Omnimusic, 1985

Beppo Küster, Ich fahre Rad [German pop], Bitte nach Ihnen, Amiga, 1986

Wolle Kriwanek Band, Mike (Mit dem Mountain-Bike) [German rock], Hot Wollé, Bell Records, 1992

M. A. Numminen, Fahrradfahren ist Notwendig [German, “Riding Bicycle Is Necessary”], soundtrack from short film Polkupyörällä ajaminen on tarpeellista (Sökö Kaukoranta, dir., 2000); commemorates 450th anniversary of Helsinki, Finland. Depicts a grey day with Numminen singing song beside riding on back of a bicycle being pedaled along a slushy roadside.

Spieltrieb, Fahrrad fahrn [German pop], Ohrrangement, self, 2008
“How do I feel? Of course, it rhymes with free. Whatever comes and happens can't touch me, because I have my song... There are a thousand ways to ride a bike, whether endurance, fast, downhill, or on the track. One thing is certain: you'll burn calories, and next summer you'll shine with a dream figure. Only what you eat is your fuel, and you're gliding along.”

Pat C, Klapprad [German], single video, self, 2010
“I ride a folding bike around the area; no reason to get upset”

Pratterino, Bicycle Song, Old Bicycle, Pär Strandberg, 2011

Souljah, Was mein Fahrrad angeht [German], single video, self, 2011
Bikecentric remake of the autocentric MoTrip song similarly named; if you sold God’s benefices, ecclesiastical privileges, or pardons it was once condemned as heretical simony, but now it’s the sole jam of Christian Nationalists loyal only to opportunist oligarchy.

Kommando Zurueck, Velociped [German hip-hop], Back from Out of Space, self, 2012

KraftKlub, Mein Rad [German], In Schwarz, Universal Music Group, 2014
Americans can related to this angst of loss plentiful evidenced, “My bike is no longer here, it's gone, that's what happened. But why is it now with an idiot like you... who sees things and just takes them like a stupid child?” Answer: Kleptocrats addicted to greed.

Anthony’s Putsch, King of the World, single video, self, 2014
“Won’t you grab that bike, please take me for a ride, and see that I’m King of the world! There is nothing I'm afraid of, mama, only the howling of the wind.” Right! Citizens of a democracy are collectively king, not some orange shellacked combover thing.

Infallet, Cykelhjälm Cykelhjälm [Swedish in English; group name means a “Sudden Whim”], single video, self, 2014
A helmet is stylish, the ultimate swag, no? “No pain, no gain. It’s a place to put your brain.”

Binyo, Fahrrad [German], Der Steg ist das Ziel [“The jetty is the destination’], self, 2015

The Rotaries, Bicycle Girl, On the Outs, self, 2015

Dota Kehr, Rennrad [German pop], Keine Gefahr, Kleingeldprinzessin Records, 2016

Maybebop, Lust auf Fahrrad [German], single, BMG, 2016

Moop Mama, Die Erfindung des Rades, M.O.O.P.Topia, self, 2016
“You are a miracle of nature on a miracle of technology, your round body contour, carefree and casual. They talk, and shout, and gesticulate, hands off the steering wheel. Sirens and horns are only for you, because you roll like a gangster.”

D.U.M. Enterprises, Fahrradtrack [German hip-hop], single video, self, 2018

Peelander-Z, Bike Bike Bike, Go PZ Go, Chicken Ranch Records, 2018

Günter Nüssle, Das Liegerad [German], single video, 2019

Nico Suave, Von Hamburg bis zum Meer [German pop], single video, Hamburg Marketing, 2019
“So many corners, so much to discover, on my bike... I’m never stuck in traffic. I pass you with a big smile.”

The Dirty Nil, To the Guy Who Stole My Bike, F*ck Art, Dine Alone Records, 2020
“I hope it serves you well. I hope the brakes don’t seize, when you’re riding down the hill to hell.”

Mr. Rose, Radfahren [German pop], single video, Problembär Records, 2020

Requisite, Bicycle, Rusty BBQ Demos EP, 1943896 Records DK, 2020
“Next time you offer me a ride, I might decline. I’d rather ride my bicycle.”

Severin Groebner, Rentner auf E-Bikes [German for “Retirees on E-bikes”], single video, self, 2020

Estéban Cortez, La-La-Lastenrad [German, “Cargo Bicycle”], single video, self, 2021
Going backwards by pedaling? Isn’t fuel too expensive?

Kadeja, feat. DieZelle, Bike, single video, PZK, 2021

Treptow, Nachts auf dem Fahrrad [German heavy metal], single video, self, 2021
“On the bike at night in Berlin... There’s room for you on my luggage rack; I'll gladly take you anywhere. Who needs a taxi?”

IFHT fea. Matt Dennison, New Bike Day, single video, self, 2022
“Got kicked out, got fired; wanna do stuff but I’m too tired. At least my mother’s proud of me (no, she’s not). But it’s new bike day, and I can’t be broken... I get to ride. I might be broke and alone, but there’s rubber and chrome... I feel alive... Can’t afford to fix my car, but I got shiny handlebars.”

Mike Ständer Band, Fahrradfahrn [German], Zweites, self, 2022

Blondie & Iris Wallaschek, Mein Rotes Fahrrad [German, "My Red Bicycle”], single video, Chromatics Entertainment Studios, 2023

Alex & Lukas (A. Diosegi and L. Brennecke), Radlerhymne [German hip-hop, “Cycling Anthem”], Schiffbruch, self, 2024
“Leather saddle padding and the pedal crank made of gold! The chrome rims measure an impressive twenty-six inches. Yes, then annoy a few passers-by with your exhaust. Hey, we'll pass you if you look out at us while you're filling up.”

E-Aldi, Fahrrad-Punks Not Dead, single, self, 2024

Vielleicht Emma, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, self, 2024