Define Bargain

Having studied anatomy and psychology with a notion to graduate medical school and practice psychopathology, chuckle to know a “trick cyclist” can sometimes be just a gibe for a “psychiatrist”. But fancy riding and treating crazies both invite bruises and worries. Stuck within a brainwashing regime where sanewashing every inane executive act occurs daily, analysis of abnormal behavior occupies way too much of everyone’s time. Didn't sign up for no-choice diktats, postmaster fraud, or ridiculous extortions. There are enough grievances worthy of resistances including connectivity fee hikes, planned obsolescence, and product shrink-flation amidst historic dollar inflation and federal debt at $50 trillion. That's 5 followed by 13 zeroes, which is 12 times what IRS collects annually, while government budget exceeds entire amount, so never pays down debt you owe. Last hurrah for Labor Day, because your dutiful efforts dug deeper holes for yourselves, while sweetheart deals develop ever fewer jobs.

While riding AMONG, not impeding, traffic (bicyclists and pedestrians are integral to overall flow), was twice zoomed by both an “Abuisick” SUV guarded by its aggressive triple shields, and a brutal land cruiser with state plates driven by a soccer mom with kids, which doesn’t much sound like an administrative function for which taxpayers should have to pick up tab. This leapfrog scenario happens as a result of traffic lights, which repeatedly halt motorists with bicyclists catching up, though on uncontrolled stretches operators typically escape into distance.

Scofflaws are hereby placed on notice that bad driving, including pinching off cyclists, could invite a personal retaliation or traffic citation. Cyclists memorize offender license plates, and might later find that car parked. Why risk deep scratches or flat tires that could become costly damages, time killers, or tows? Why should hundreds of millions put up with a few hundred oppressors causing so many woes? One is always responsible for own conduct, but that goes both ways.

“Cyclosporter” parasite promoter prez T-wrecks has always had a reptilian lust for taut athletes or teen queens. Turd's bankruptcies and jealousies incited Tour de Trump, staged only twice with no chance of competing against storied Tour de France, year's most attended sporting event in the world for over a century. Pageant involvement was plagued with molestation complaints. New York Times (behind its paywall, so no link) recently reported his absolute animus against bicyclists, pedestrians, and women through transportation measures that will purge as many of them as possible. His executive fiats violate constitution and numerous federal laws passed by representative legislators on behalf of public, just another reason to despise, impeach, and imprison his diapered butt. Only acts of congress allow changes to earmarked grants or home rules. Such reports go practically unnoticed by anyone, especially bike advocacy nonprofits, who rely on chances that government TIP grants will continue, thus entice charitable donors; otherwise it’s game over.

USDOT’s Sworn Doofus rescinded $100’s of millions in active Biden grants, shifted to car-centric infrastructure planning, and started scrubbing bicycle specific safety regulations from agency standards and websites. What are administration’s lies that try to to disguise these illegal acts? “Bike paths and road diets are ‘hostile to cars’, while bike presence impedes traffic flow, increases road congestion, and reduces vehicle capacity.” Sounds ignorant or insane, no? Should have divulged real reasons: Huge windfalls for already heavily subsidized Big Oil and redoubled kickbacks for a crime family forever on a greedy grift netting billions each term. They’ve already begun to claw back grants, condition funding upon agreeing to strip bike accommodations from approved transit redesigns, and remove existing cycling infrastructure where it occupies space previously used by motorists, although some of these efforts face legal challenges in court from concerned groups, local leaders, and municipal officials, whose job it is to assess, implement, and strategize based on resident demands in compliance with Code of Federal Regulations. New York City already secured court orders against their targeted attempts there. Also too late here; Build Back Better repaved 100 miles of bike paths, good for 2 decades or whenever democracy returns.

Local councils who undid unsustainable traffic planning scored incalculable benefits for everyone in a dozen major cities, as Tom Babin testified last spring. They have the receipts: Better air quality, fewer accidents, less crime, life saving mental and physical boosts, lowered costs, multilateral flow relief, and renewed small business profits. Petroleum exhaust is a primary air spoiler contributing to COPD and heart disease, nation’s #1 killer. Automotive convenience confined in fumes is an obscene and shameful bargain at best, really an inimical but unrecognized danger that has killed more people than warfare over last 100 years.

Go ahead; delete dedicated bike lanes and designated shoulders. Means 70 million bicyclists must take to travel lanes to which they're fully entitled to use. Three times as many motorists can be assured this will limit speed to a de facto average of 12 mph, except on limited access highways distantly apart from actual destinations. Before you go grab a mug of joe to sip in gridlock as slow cyclists squeeze past on mandatory shoulders comparatively saving dough. This can only get worse as more and more road users adopt acoustic and electric bikes due to idiotic tariffs and sick wars that have driven up fuel prices and emptied strategic oil reserves. The real war is how enemies in office implement policies to traumatize three hundred million Americans, who still have to pay for bombproof limos a small cadre of subjugators use to protect themselves against them, though they’ll be sitting in snarl with all motor passengers unless congress reverses. Next, they’ll ban and confiscate bicycles, as did their 1940's führer. Bicyclists discern and emphasize with discomfort and suffering; greed driven narcissists in cars never care.

Such desires, emotions, trials and tribulations fill a director’s palette. American filmmakers have had a century of freedom to expose cruelty, say and show practically anything, and spend literally trillions to entertain, persuade, and titillate with original and outrageous presentations. This bred both bad and good, but served a wide range of needs including entertaining, imagining, informing, and promoting democracy. Many movies set in years since their introduction after Civil War feature bicycles in crucial roles, as seen in examples below.

Urban documentary 1 Way Up (Amy Mathieson dir., 2014) follows two teens, Quillan Isidore and Tre Whyte, who hope to escape one of London’s toughest gang neighborhoods through the Peckham BMX Club on route to World Championships. Though R rated for explicit language and violence, it smashes ghetto preconceptions and racial stereotypes.

In British historical drama The Choral (Nicholas Hytner, dir., 2025), Ralph Fiennes plays Dr. Henry Guthrie, an uncompromising stand-in for town’s chorus master, who joined armed forces for service overseas in WWI. Set in 1916 in Yorkshire Dales, young men ride bicycles that create a stark contrast between carefree innocence and looming devastation on the Western Front. Bicycles represent pre-war era, while conscription of bicyclists represents realities of war.

Australian plus size positive actress Rebel Wilson on a bicycle with a basket and training wheels rides throughout a Noom weight loss spot, Lose for Keeps (July, 2026), while eschewing persistent food temptations. It's not the first time she's been filmed riding bikes.

French comedy Good Vibes Only (Pour le plaisir, Reem Kherici, dir., 2026) is based upon the true story of Bavarian hobbyist Michael Lenke. Inspired by a medical study on scarcity of orgasms among women, Lenke built in 2014 a prototype air pulse clitoral stimulator using an aquarium pump, plastic tubing, and testing by his wife Brigitte. The Womanizer reached a climax in sex tech, which grew taboo since 1922. By 1970 feminist Irina Dunn had already coined the adage, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” In film, married spouses of 20 years Fanny (Alexandra Lamy) and Thomas (François Cluzet) didn’t know what they were missing until Thomas invents a new toy. They celebrate success with a duo bike ride.

French feature film Le crime du 3e étage [The Crime on the 3rd Floor] (Rémi Bezançon, dir., 2026) is deemed a comedic homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window where François Tarnowski (Gilles Lellouche), a writer of historical crime novels, and lovely partner Colette Courreau (Laetitia Casta), a Hitchcock expert, believe they witness a crime through a "rear window" being committed at a neighbor’s apartment behind theirs. Both bike about collecting evidence.

Also set in Paris, where cyclistes are the rule rather than exception, Hugo (Pascal Bonitzer, dir., 2026) hears Fabrice Luchini (Robert Zucchini) reading passages from his favorite author, Victor Hugo, on stage to packed audiences. His true goal, however, is to reconnect with his estranged daughter as he pedals around The City of Light.

Darkness follows in experimental Italian short Roadkill (Vito Nicoletta, dir., 2026), which displays humanity’s adversarial relationship with natural environment while slowly riding a bicycle past assorted dead creatures terminated without remorse by technological conveniences, such as those preferred by current regime.

Just gets worse with horror short Something Might Be Wrong (Eymen Karahan, dir., 2026), filmed on location in Genk, Belgium but with Turkish dialogue throughout. Teenage cyclist Serdar (Muhammed Kiraz) rides his bike through a local forest, then struggles to distinguish between actual reality and his own auditory hallucinations, as he descends into a fragmented nightmare. External danger may also be closer than he thinks. On own recent isolated ride segment, was more aware than ever how appropriate its tagline can be, “Don't roam the trees alone, because you're never alone.” Doesn’t take a priest or psychologist to explain one’s unexpected enthusiasm in encountering an idyllic open meadow along a road surrounded by tangled understory. Can personally attest to having seen where few New Englanders go strange creatures in abandoned corners, e.g., supernatural entities, supposedly extinct Eastern catamounts, and world’s worst mass murderer, mosquitos. Yet fear 47 with nukes more than Iran's theocrat kooks. 

Or maybe they’re aliens from other planets, allegedly posing as nonthreatening species to study humans. That’s one tenet of summer blockbuster Disclosure Day (Steven Spielberg, dir., 2026). Meteorologist Margaret Fairchild (Emily Blunt) and whistleblower Daniel Kellner (Josh O’Connor) discover they have paranormal abilities imparted upon them during alien abductions, a truth only they wish to share to the world and authorities want to suppress. Of course, they’re involved in a bicycle chase scene that harks back to ET: The Extraterrestrial. Phone home.

Exposing antisocial behaviors, not at all uncommon given 25% of people (esp. crack, meth, and steroid abusers) are aggressively messed up mentally, may have negative effects, such as encouraging more. Tizzy Ent (Michael McWhorter) tries to sort out bicyclist Gary’s allegations against a motorist buzzing by in new Discovery Channel docuseries How to Catch a Dirtbag (Season 1, Episode 3). His frenzied complaint to police lands Gary a citation for disorderly conduct. He could have just reported vehicle’s plate number rather than try vigilante vengeance, though police seldom enforce laws designed to protect bicyclists and tend to favor motorists.

Set for September release, romantic fantasy sequel Practical Magic 2 (Susanne Biers, dir., 2026) revisits the Owens coven 25 years later. Daughter Kylie’s boyfriend, played by Xolo Maridueña, riding a bicycle with a bouquet of flowers gets gravely injured when a motorist slams into him. This tragic event compels her, Gillian (Nicole Kidman), Sally (Sandra Bullock) and their aunties to begin a course of action to rid family of its longstanding love curse. In part 1, Sally's beloved husband, while pushing a hand truck with racks of apples across village's main street, gets suddenly distracted by a phalanx of cyclists, then slaughtered by a tractor trailer, thus fulfilling jinx.

Sunlit “Un”plain

“If we can stand up to [tyranny], all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands.” UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill in Parliament on June 18, 1940, at beginning of World War II, 5 years before a global alliance and his mobilization of the English language managed to achieve victory and defeat Nazi Axis aggression. Upland is today a cheap Chinese bike brand, while America’s high ground reputation is history, per authoritarian plan, some say beyond salvation.

Whoever “they” are, likely some legacy group on fringe with pronoun cringe, they designated May as National Bike Month. Rode a routine 35 mile loop on Ride a Bike Day, the 3rd. Bike to Work Week will be the 11th to 17th with Bike to Work Day on 17th.

Having had too few winter outings and noting a delayed crocus bloom, went on first ride of Spring later than usual following a record 3 foot blizzard that made region’s streets too narrow and slick for a month. Anticipating first “century week” of the year, did manage several rides with miles in double digits, yet shy of the five 20 milers required. Not surprisingly, one gets seriously out of shape when unable to ride for so long. Meanwhile, SoCal has seen record heat, °F in triple digits, raising fears of dryness causing another devastating out-of-control wildfire. Global warming hints of winter convenience, but instead manifests in catastrophic betrayals, severe conditions, strong winds, and weather swings which discourage jaunts outdoors.

Why “com”plain about routine exertion? Why “ex”plain how exploration and perspiration benefit body and mind? When you curiously dive into dreaded details you discover what brazen statements don’t disclose, informative connections that unpack how to exploit data for mutual fun and profit. Bias toward what topics one will address or cover does not in any way mean such reporting is unreliable, rather promises a narrow but precise take. However, ignoring major influences misinforms and oversimplifies. Parties and passivity swirl down foreclosure and forfeiture sewers. To approach enlightenment and reach utopian uplands you need “un”plain perspectives seen above upstanding crests, but is that wise?

Mike Magnuson, Bike Tribes: A Field Guide to North American Cyclists (Rhodale Press, 2012, 200 pp.) - Heft on Wheels author previously cited tries to sort through stereotypes, though fully aware that bicycling is egalitarian and inclusive of all individuals of every stripe except certain fascist overlords, petroleum pedophiles, and their sycophant toadies.

Era of awkward incompetents groping for acceptance is over. A narcissist apprentice host with cancelation level ratings now lords on a golden throne above cosmetic mutant minions raiding treasury. What does that tell you? Dug in like a tick in bosom of fascist society, you probably can get by knowing little as long as you fein contempt for knowledge and look attractive. Ugly people actually have to be skilled, smart, and useful, since they bear all the weight and do all the work. So, get dental or plastic surgery, go on a diet, and tone muscle at gym, then run for a cabinet appointment or public office, instead of practice, read, study, then take a thankless position that doesn’t compensate you for what you’re worth.

Climate vagaries aren’t the only obstacles to bicycling potentialities. Edicts elicit excuses not to ride, as if you needed more among myriad others. Theorists pontificate rules expecting bicyclists to bow to their authority, such as scrutinizing road ahead for where you’ll be after 12 seconds elapse, or spinning as cadence during 75% of pedaling, versus sprinting for less than 25%, to build racing stamina. What's the hurry?

“There’s lots of value in riding a bicycle. But you cannot expect that bicycle travel is going to take the place of very much of the automotive travel being made.“ Damn you, John Forester. No “effective cycling” exists for anyone but weenie cultists. His book of 800 pp. based on listserv opinions dismisses average bicyclists going a grand average of a mere 12 mph. Exchanged harsh words with him on majority’s inability to compete with 25+ mph motorized traffic. His MAMIL manifesto capitulating to automotive paradigm set back bicycling’s acceptance on streets and surge of building dedicated accommodations by decades. Do agree about taking lanes, but shifting over to let passers by only makes safe sense when infrastructure allows. Thank you Not Just Bikes (Jason Slaughter) for again debunking his bullpucky, as has B&C for decades. Best described as stubborn obsession, once you make a case you feel you have to defend it.

Am also ambivalent over few new woonerven, traffic controlled streets, supposedly improving safety of cycling and walking. Bump-outs actually intermittently force bicyclists into travel lanes, whereas a continuous breakdown lane stretching completely through intersections avoids bike-car collisions and helps maintain predictable lines of travel for both. Recently installed Dynamic Speed Monitoring Displays, intended to deter motorists from going over posted limits, have been found to cause distractions and encourage violations. While operators tend to conform with feedback in short term, effectiveness wanes without active policing, and scofflaws seem triggered to see how fast they can go. They also shame bicyclists to push harder to hurry past at higher speeds.

Any traffic enforcement that doesn’t suspend licenses of repeat offenders fails to protect compliant majority. Acts of avenging violators shouldn’t involve punishing law abiders. Slime slips through your fingers despite state’s desire to control carnage through passive deterrents. It’s a lesson about squeezing so hard that entire population becomes infuriated and goes rogue.

There’s seldom been a better time for riding an e-bike, except perhaps during pandemic, given highest ever national average gas price of $4.50/gallon for political reasons totally arbitrary and unnecessary. Beats even Dubya Bush’s recession years. Californian retailers are posting prices over $9.00 wondering what they’ll do with pumps that can’t exceed $9.99. Boycott Big Oil by biking!

If you’re going to wage a war that closes shipping lanes for a flotilla of oil tankers, at least give a sensible explanation, not try to evade prosecution for this War Powers Act violation by bobbing and dodging. Also pinpoint targets that will neutralize retaliatory infrastructure, e.g., airports, diesel and nuclear refineries, missile bases, or military camps, not civilian bridges, electric plants, reservoirs, and school full of teen girls. One ought to strategize based on careful consideration, central intelligence, and constituent interests, not drunken whims, sinister agendas, or swaggering bloodlust. Perhaps it’s less stressful to find gentle expressions of bicycling culture.

To begin most projects on Magnolia Network’s home improvement series Maine Cabin Masters, contractor Chase Morrill, his sister Ashley, and her husband Ryan take different forms of transportation to evaluate remote work sites. Given Maine is deemed “Vacationland” dotted with 6,000 lakes and ponds, often that involves fun modalities, e.g., ATVs, canoes, e-scooters, horseback, jet skis, kayaks, microbus, sailboats, snowmobiles, and so forth. “Two Bathrooms, No Bedrooms” (Season 6, Episode 10, 2021) has boss on a bicycle racing married couple on a tandem. Bikes likewise figure in “I Get by With a Little Help from Froggy Friends (Season 8, Episode 8, 2023). Ordinarily, builders arrive in panel vans and pickup trucks.

[Left] Deadhead cyclist Ryan Eldridge, Cabin Master

Will Trent “You’re Not That Person Anymore”(Daniel T. Thomsen and Liz Heldens dirs., Season 4, Episode 6, 2025) sees supporting characters Angela Polaski (Erika Christensen) and Seth McDale (Scott Foley) recalling how they met by crashing into each other on bicycles. She’s now pregnant with his child, and they are getting married on same spot witnessed by random randonneur Marvin. Having exchanged vows, a posse of fellow bicyclists with elaborate night lights send them off on a honeymoon. Was one of this quirky crime drama’s more popular episodes.

Expedition Unknown (Season 16, Episode 5, 2025) has host Josh Gates pursuing a legendary lost shipwreck that 40 years ago inspired adventure feature Goonies (Richard Donner, dir., 1985). Josh mimics film’s teen protagonists by riding a banana bike around Astoria, Oregon, the shooting location for many of movie’s scenes.

Burglar Jeffrey Manchester (Channing Tatum) enters 4 dozen fast food franchises by breaking through ceilings in criminal biopic Roofman (Derek Cianfrance, dir., 2025). Sentenced practically for life, this divorced dad and ex-vet escapes prison and holes up in a nearby North Carolina Toys ”R” Us. Hidden by day behind bike display, he spends his time eating store’s candy, exercising after hours among aisles, and expertly observing store employees per his military recon experience. Under alias John Zorn he even dates one, single mom Leigh Wainscott (Kirsten Dunst), visiting her at church and home by riding a juvenile store bike. No stranger to bicycling, Tatum later shared a sentimental photo from film’s set, explaining it was a scene where his character gives his daughter the bike she always wanted after pawning stolen video games.

In post production, Project Hail Mary (dirs. Christopher Miller and Phil Lord, 2026) is, like football term it evokes, a desperate last ditch effort to save game. In this case, it means an environmentally conscious bicyclist and former science professor Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) being shanghaied to save totality of humankind from a dying sun. He awakes alone, crew’s sole survivor, on an interstellar flight to Tau Ceti system on a mission to study what’s also killing that sun. Audience are conditioned to think of space adventures as heroic venues, but someone must step up to save planet’s few remaining democracies if you expect opportunities to tackle other existential threats.

Rom-com feature film Solo Mio (Charles and Daniel Kinnane, dirs., 2026) depicts jilted fiancé Matt (Kevin James, Hitch, Mall Cop, Pixels) left at the altar. He continues his prepaid honeymoon in Italy wifeless, While riding alone on an Ecosmo 20F07W fold-up tandem bicycle, he instead finds adventure and love when coffee barista Gia (Nicole Grimaudo) joins him on rides.

Law & Order “Never Say Goodbye” (Fred Berner, dir., Season 25, Episode 12, 2026), follows bike commuter Mark Turner (Chamblee Ferguson), an FAA inspector, who’s gunned down on Hudson Bikeway heading home on his last day of a 37-year career keeping those plying skies safe. It’s up to Maroun (Odelya Halevi) and Price (Hugh Dancy) to ferret out a vengeful bride who converses with her dead husband via artificial intelligence, another reason to suspect awful intent of unlawful AI.

For some reason, single romcom characters are legally permitted to engage in premarital sex for One Night Only (Will Gluck, dir., 2026, slated for August release). Bicyclist Allie (Monica Barbaro) collides with New York restauranteur Owen (Callum Turner) and sparks fly.

Lardi B, Bicycle (parody hip-hop w/ explicit lyrics), single, self, 2024 - plus size and tattoo positive performer declares, “We don't need no gasolini, eco-freindly we go greenie... You can look, but you can’t touch... I want to ride my bicycle right now... wherever the f*ck I like.”

Punkin’ “Cinemain”

Riding around lately noticing obsessions with “Horrorween” decorations and orange greasepaint clown creations. Are homeowners trying to dodge own anxiety and dread from nation’s walking dead who only vote red? Don’t you adore commentators who endorse Top Ten lists deciding for you what to explore? “Compared to what?” those they annoy might ask. How many films have these pumpkin headed critics seen? Small sample numbers bias opinions and skew perceptions. Labann has viewed tens of thousands, though only a few thousand set within last 200 years actually involve bicycling, mere hundreds in some main role. Among the many mentioned or reviewed never rated any against another, given each have scenes worthy of attention that uniformed punks ignore.

Excusable mistakes in Bike&Chain’s appendix “Bike Obsessed Films” rate a retraction. Long unavailable Les Bicylettes de Belsize (Douglas Hickox, dir., 1968) is a short musical with almost no spoken dialogue about Steve (Anthony May) recklessly riding a Raleigh RSW16 (not a Moulton) sans helmet on location in Hampstead, London, England. Belsize Park neighborhood in title of famous Englebert tune (someone else sang on soundtrack) is never visited. One morning Steve evades 2 broadsides and gets into 2 minor crashes before falling in love on first sight with Raleigh billboard model Julie (Judy Huxtable). Best to review after you actually view.

The Cyclist, aka Peloton (John Lawrence, dir., 2012), depicts down-on-his-luck self-absorbed athlete Nash (K.C. Clyde), looking to resume his racing career while scraping by as a messenger. There’s a contrasting Iranian film under same title, aka Bicycleran (Mohsen Makhmalbaf, dir., 1989), in which a motivated Nasim (Moharram Zaynalzadeh), hoping to pay wife’s medical bill, will do anything for money, including marathon riding in a circle nonstop for 7 days. Both plumb depths to which humans will go when determined to succeed or survive.

Infinitely Polar Bear (Maya Forbes, dir., 2015) depicts Boston biracial married couple Cam (Mark Ruffalo, Avengers) and Maggie (Zoe Saldaña, Avatar) as they try to work around his bipolar disorder and their two school age girls so she can attend Columbia’s MBA program in New York full time for 18 months. Set amidst the 1970’s bike boom, filmed on location in Providence, Rhode Island, in manic mode Cam bikes around in a speedo and embarrasses family. Despite important story and star cast (including cycling obsessed and often mentioned Ruffalo), film didn’t return 25% of its investment.

In “awesome” short Litterbugs (Peter Stanley Ward, dir., 2016), precocious inventor Alice (Leila Wetton) and tween sidekick Stanley (James Grogan) get even with mean girls who’ve bullied them. Riding out to a junk yard on her adult tricycle, Alice scavenges castoff gadgets and mechanical litter then recycles into "robugic" drones to do her bidding. Vengeance!

Mary Poppins Returns (Rob Marshall, dir., 2018) one generation later to a Banks family in Depression Era crisis at risk of losing their home. Mary (Emily Blunt) advises as usual to “go fly a kite”, through which they avert foreclosure and regain youthful outlook. Leader of lamplighters Jack (Lin-Manuel Miranda) makes extended and frequent uses of his cargo bicycle culminating in a dance scene with bike acrobatics and Mary spinning wheelies.

Youths who are bicycling sleuths Elliot (Jensen Gering) and Willow (Catherine White) save mom Celine (Denise Richards) and town of Wickensburg (Richard Boddington, dir., 2022) from an unscrupulous nuclear waste disposer. In worse sequel Return to Wickensburg, 2 years later young adults motor about rather than ride, unlike adventurous twentysomething Anathema Device in Good Omens.

Documentary feature Dear Sirs (Mark Pedri, dir., 2022) retraces by mountain bicycle grandfather Silvio’s route as a soldier captured by Nazis during WWII, a wounded patient mistreated in an insane asylum, an exploited slave scavenging scrap metal, and starving prisoner in Sandbostel’s Stalag 10 concentration camp. While in Hamburg, Mark reflects on Nazi inhumanity by citing ANTIFA dissident and Hitler victim Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “Silence in the face of evil is evil itself... No man in the whole world can change the truth. One can only look for the truth, find it, and serve it... Comfort the troubled, and trouble the comfortable.” This one hour sobering reminder exposes what occurs when a nation becomes subservient to a sociopathic tyrant and stops caring about entire community. Nazis detained and murdered anyone who wasn’t compliant and white; history repeats itself, both bad and good, so resistance isn't futile.

Anytime (Darcy Wittenburg, dir., 2024) has extreme sports promoter Red Bull celebrating freeride’s elites through sponsors Arosa Lenzerheide’s Bike Kingdom park, Evoc Sports bags, Maxxis tires, and Shimano components.

Another documentary, The Extraordinary Journey of the Bicycle (Michael Kollatschny, dir., 2024), describes how the eruption of Mount Tambora in Indonesia in 1818 and its dust resultant global winter diverted reliance on horses onto mechanical innovations, such as the draisienne. One might argue that chariots were also bicycles; putting cart wheels in line with a pedal push pulley drive reassigns human riders as horse’s asses.

Gold Peak Tea, Real is Gold spot (2024), “Doesn’t need hype or trickery to be interesting,” because bicyclist spokesman breaks away from phony set to tour exotic fascination of tea plantation.

History Honors 250 is a series of PSA spots that History Channel is running through 2026, when America celebrates its quarter millennium as a Greco-Roman democratic republic... if it makes it that far under current totalitarian threat. Of particular interest is one on Women’s Rights first aired on 7 April 2025 that connects their vote with freedom experienced while riding bicycles.

Itinerant bicyclist Cliff Cash delivered The Long Road standup comedy special and destroyed MAGA mythos specifically.

Xfinity Mobil Spot (2025) shows Frankenstein’s creature bicycling around some dark scary backwater, which inspires learning to cook with a pinch of cinnamon like a gourmet chef. Incongruous?

Jimmy Kimmel Live, September 30th, 2025, half way through show, Seth Meyers’ brother Josh parodied California Governor Gavin Newsom bicycling onto stage, cracking up his Brooklyn audience, and reviving stereotypical west coast tropes. Will show survive?

Mocking Ozempic and Wegovy commercials, Comedy Central’s South Park interrupts itself for a “Lizzo spot" with a stop at a bike shop, then resumes ridiculing godless villainy of Pol Prop. Pigs who want it all pop semaglutide pills to avoid exercise and glomb whatever they want. You can simply adopt riding as a lifestyle and so much safer lose chubby blubber, then thumb your nose at first president since Lincoln who didn’t appreciate bicycling and rather make war against bike advocacy in favor of petroleum consumerism.

Out this October, Bugonia (Yorgos Lanthimos, dir., 2025) is an absurdist black comedy remake of a South Korean film. Two beekeeping bicyclists, conspiracy theorists, and environmentally conscious twentysomethings, Teddy (Jesse Plemons) and cousin Dan (Aidan Delbis), kidnap and torture powerful pharmaceutical CEO Michelle Fuller (Emma Stone), convinced she's an alien who wants to destroy Earth.  Maybe they aren't wrong?

Fantasy/SciFi film in development Ghostwriter (J.J. Abrams, dir., 2025) produced on location in both Glasgow, Scotland, and Rhode Island, USA stars Glen Powell (Twister), Jenna Ortega (Wednesday), and Samuel L. Jackson (Avengers, Pulp Fiction). A bloodied Powell was snapped being filmed along Providence’s Lovecraftian streets for supernatural scenes of him cycling on a Specialized.

Rhythm and sounds of bicycling inspire so many songs, some composed over last 5 years heretofore slipped through cracks:

Christian Alexander, Bicycle, single, AMF Records, 2023

Doon Kanda, Bicycle [piano instr.], Celest, wwwomb, 2023

Eric Owyoung & Future of Forestry, Bicycle [piano instr.], single, Sound Swan Records, 2023

Lili Trifilio, Bicycle, Book Club, 1326398 Records DK, 2019 - “I was riding home on my bicycle on the northwest side of Chicago. Then I saw your face in a rain puddle looking back at me from a car window... If you wanna come and see my new place in the city by the freeway, we could ride our bikes at our own pace. If they break down, we can fix them.”

mariek, Bicycle, single, self, 2021

Nevi, Bicycle [jazz instr.], Istanbul Edition, Losen Records, 2020 - Russian and Turkish musician collaborate; no apparent relation to the Italian bicycle brand.

Sarah Watson, Bicycle [piano instr.], Bicycle EP, self, 2021

Xaia, Bicycle, single, self, 2020 - “I don’t have a car... I’m tired of the yelling, I just want to be alone... All I do is ride my bike all day...”

Spilt Champagne

“President he’s got his war; folks don’t know just what it’s for. Nobody gives us rhyme or reason. Have one doubt they call it treason. We’re chicken feathers all without one nut. Goddamn it! Tryin' to make it real compared to what.” - Eddie Harris, Gene McDaniels, and Les McCann, Compared to What, Swiss Movement, Atlantic, 1969... album certified gold and song covered by 270 other performers.

Le Demi-Fond was once a 100 kilometer velodrome event where “the big motor” paced “the stayer”, that is, motorcyclist created a slipstream for drafting bicyclist running huge chainrings to reach speeds up to 124 mph. A popular spectacle from last century, it was inherently dangerous with track competitors and spectators killed and maimed until officially banned in 1994, though something similar is still how bicycle speed records are made on salt flats. Somewhat echoes e-bikes today, which quicken pace so each ride averages 3 to 5 mph faster. Riding bikes used to mean mere spinning; with e-bikes that becomes e-moting, because you frequently have to react in a panic and try to spin faster than motor boost, typically paused at 20 mph, to conserve charge for final segment on tired legs. Although sprayed champagne celebrates podium wins, spilt wine portends disaster. There’s no glory in top speed to which a cyclist strives, just a blur among crowds desperate for fresh air and smidgeon of exercise as Spring season finally arrives.

Level of being admired at zero percentage, aggregator Labann generously marches on never wanting to address attention needy POTUS insanity and wishing current term to be over permanently. Tired of turds dominating words downing out every voter democratically. “Halfway through”, demi-term election might overthrow oligarchy advantage. News used to be idea provoking specifics, not obviously vicious lies, gamely negotiated politics, not gas lit by wise guys. Where’s public outrage upon this perilous stage? Witch hunts describe going after officers doing their jobs who stood in your way when you committed a crime. If you keep misapplying and violating laws, you will be impeached and indicted every time. Whence and whither congressional counterbalance? Court rulings can only compel law abiders; marshals are their sole contempt enforcers if judges take a stance.

American People for nearly a century have long been the bulwark against wanton homicide and a stabilizing influence worldwide. Amagastan dupes don’t inherit this reputation. Christian Nationalists say, “Be charitable to yourself first,” in other words, stuff your pockets at someone else’s expense, even to where others perish or suffer for your greed and predation. They don’t know recipes for stone soups. Homeless beggar Christ amassed no coinage as a carpenter and fisherman, performed miracles and served strangers for free, for which he was crucified and interred penniless in donated linen and tomb by way of example on how to live divinely. To opposite extreme, Mango Mussolini is marching an army of mercs and orcs out of his lair, Mordor Lago, to murder mankind, spill blood, and wreak havoc. Slashing cybercrime mob surveillants, law enforcement agents, inspector general operatives, and national security staff leaves both them and you less protected against megalomaniacal psychopaths who’d burn planet and torture infants for a laugh.

Ruining how agencies run creates dissatisfaction meant to pave way to privatization, falsely reputed to improve efficiency. Taxpayers, which excludes many billionaires who evade paying, have invested literally hundreds of trillions in buildings, equipment, infrastructure, and workforce training. Consider post office with facilities and vehicles (Bezos drools), or military with jets, munitions, tanks, vessels, and weapons (Dumbo tools). Social Security (nobody’s fools) has $3 trillion in a trust fund you amassed. Fort Knox stores your tons of gold treasure, increased in value to $300 billion, enough to reduce public debt if liquidated. Unelected villains want to hand it all over to cronies to exploit for profit, leave citizens impoverished, raise service costs, and rob you blind. You’re already paying millions to El Salvador to inter a few hundred deportees not even indicted while stateside prisons remain full of convicted perps. Tariffs have nothing to do with encouraging domestic production; champagne only comes from France, as do thousands of other goods impossible to copy and only made abroad. It’s all a reality show for the cluelessly gung-ho, not sensible policy for vast majority.

Administrative decisions of late have been met with abject horror among three quarters of population. Not one campaign promise has been fulfilled, and vile edicts are being carried out despite federal court injunctions against. Conservative congress decided to cede their power as a coequal branch of government and let Felon 47 do his damnedest to destroy democracy, exploit war power act to deport without due process and stay in office, and target potential domestic enemies including political opponents and press reporters. How can half of supposed representatives support such unconstitutional injustice? Cowardly congressmen listened to advice not to answer questions or conduct forums. That’s admissible evidence of their violating oaths of office to stand for constituents. A quick fix would be to recall them individually from state to state, which would reverse curse of a slight GOP majority. Investigative journalists hold public officials accountable and shine a light on acts unlawful; otherwise, democracy dies in darkness.

When SCOTUS ruled in favor of Citizens United, it enabled billionaires to buy congressional seats among both major parties, call shots as they please, and determine all policies. Before oligarchs seized control, government had sustained many popular participant programs - Affordable Care, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Supplemental Nutrition - that a succession of Republicans since Reagan wanted to crush and divert funds from held accounts into hands of the richest few. Temptation to smash and steal was just too strong for self indulgent legislators and their stink tank lunatics. Brian Tyler Cohen argues, “This feels like betrayal... We are desperate for fighters... If this crop of elected officials won’t, then people are going to elect new ones who will.”

Make great again for whom? Criminal kleptocrats, crypto schemers, goon squads, greedy oligarchs, privatizing congresspeople, shrewd whores, storm troopers, white supremacists, and yes men. Everyone else will be banished, deported, or targeted. Better watch your back and pack a go-bag when you have to escape, especially congressionally appointed judges forced to follow constitution who block autocratic playbook, or dissidents and opponents to unitary executive rule. “You don’t impeach judges who issues orders you don’t like... Debate makes this country great,” said senior senator Bernie Sanders. Unless as slaves, there’ll be no quarter for Asians, Blacks, Indians, Latinos, seniors, or women. Sorry, MAGA-mob, you were literally sold a big perverse joke and a pig in a poke. Have to have faith they’ve miscalculated effects of mistreating military veterans and public servants, two groups who own lion’s share of nation’s war tactics and weapons expertise. Would not want to take on these patriots in any fight, especially ones that threaten their families.

Voter remorse? “I been a bad, bad, bad man... Remember the time when I eat you up? Yeah, I was a lie that you can't give up. If I was to cheat, oh no, would you see right through me? ...How you like me now? How you like me now?” The Heavy, The House That Dirt Built, Counter, 2009

To whom do you turn? Liam Turner (Robert Timothy Smith) ineptly scribbles a dyslexic Dear Santa (Bobby Farrelly, dir., 2024) letter to North Pole, but transposes characters and winds up with a visit from Dear Satan (Jack Black) from North Lope, who offers him 3 wishes for his soul. Black’s character turns out to be a demon on probation, not Prince of Darkness himself. In another such switcheroo, you got a convicted serial con man instead of a Leader of the Free World. “Slow down, Lance Armstrong,” says school crossing guard (Cate Freedman) to nemesis teacher Mr. Charles (P. J. Byrne), whose midlife crisis has him riding a racing bicycle about town on Christmas Day. They agree to go together for Chinese food, though he rethinks asking her to sit on his back rack, so they stroll instead.

Not all romances conclude happily ever after. In favorably received Netflix series One Day (Luke Snellin, dir., 2024), Episode 13, Dexter Mayhew (Leo Woodall) and Emma Morley (Ambika Mod) are an engaged couple in 2000, 14 years after they met in Edinburgh at their graduation ball. Having crossed paths for years, they are now planning their wedding. Dexter looks to open a café. Emma’s is about to publish her fourth novel. After a spat, she leaves Dexter an apology note, saying she still loves him and that she'll be five minutes late for their realty appointment to view a honeymoon house. On a rainy Saturday, Saint Swithin's Day, a careless motorist knocks Emma off her bicycle, and, despite wearing a helmet, she dies; foul weather must follow each day for next 40, according to folklore and screenplay.

Bicycling culture among contemporary Navajo Nation is the subject of documentary In The Dirt (T. C. Johnstone, dir., 2023) in conjunction with New Mexico non-profit Silver Stallion, where youth learn bicycle handling, mechanical repair, personal empowerment, and specialty coffee skills.

Dick Wolf’s scripted drama Law&Order: SVU, Season 16, Episode 4, Holden’s Manifesto (Jean de Segonzac, dir., 2014), portrays bike messenger and ignorable incel Holden March (John Karna, shown), who avenges his narcissist ego by murdering women he’s convinced wronged him by ignoring his awkward advances. Detective Amanda Rollins (Kelli Giddish) and Sergeant Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) have to ferret out and take down this serial slayer. Story is based on real life case Elliot Rodger's Retribution resulting in Isla Vista Killings of same year. Over 25 years, program has won 46 awards including 6 Primetime Emmys.

Pivotal scene in blockbuster musical Wicked (John M. Chu, dir., 2024) has fondling Elphaba Thropp (Cynthia Erivo) and Prince Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey) by bicycles spiriting off a lion cub in a basket that Oz (Jeff Goldblum) wants to cage along with all other animals. Harks back to original when Ms. Gulch put Toto in her basket. Creature mistreatment sets her on course to becoming Wicked Witch of the West. Though cut off to be continued before story concludes, this Wizard of Oz prequel was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won 2.

Big budget sci-fi bomb The Electric State (Russo Brothers, dirs., 2025), beside being among the most expensive movies ever made, takes on dystopian interface between artificial and human intelligence, but wastes many acting talents. Foster teen Michelle Greene (Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things. shown) channels previous role while battling evil tech CEO Ethan Skate (Stanley Tucci), bicycling about to muster a posse, and bringing back her comatose genius brother during a civil war instigated for profit in data memories. If not for bad character development and weak plot, you’d think audiences would identify with made-in-China “Tesler” boycott backstory, and react to EV insult reversal as hypocritical irony. Not masochistic enough to enjoy fiction so close to current events?

Baleful Wain

“I see you got your list out. Say your piece and get out. Yes, I get the gist of it, but it's alright. Sorry that you feel that way. The only thing there is to say, ‘Every silver lining's got a Touch of Grey.’ I will get by... I will survive.” - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, 1987

To stay authentic and topical today’s writers must surf ahead of a tsunami of social insanity within a tyrannical tube of factuality. They have to assess advertisements, arts, blogs, books, broadcasts, documentaries, edicts, interviews, manifestos, movies, music, newscasts, podcasts, poetry, posts, rap, speeches, TikTok, tweets, videos, vlogs, and what’s not even on this Sisyphean list while investigating in person both an artificial and natural world, specific spaces at times, either eager to commit murder and devour your corpse. No bubble or force field, only cloth, grey matter, leather, or lycra to protect, it’s hard for anyone to say for sure, if at all, what preserves one’s inner self from threats out there. While being absorbed, ingested and inhaled, world in turn swallows you whole, simultaneously bestowing and taking, crucifying and forgiving, furnishing and suffocating, punishing and rewarding.

Labann’s mission has always been to encompass all of bicycling culture, monitor sources as new examples emerge, and show how items interconnect. Too often lately that involves baleful reports of political smackdowns, such as a POTUS proclamation trying to reverse NYC’s smart and successful Congestion Tolls. For GOP, state sovereignty only applies when it suits their own hypocritical lies. Often here cited public datasets are disappearing; all hail fascist efficiency that funnels public treasures to billionaire parasites! Low class cowards and thugs attacked Palestinian Muslims during Ramadan, then extorted neighborly Canadians because they think they can. No Russian mobsters have been deported. Gitmo has no promised alien detainees. Government services are disappearing. Inflation worsens daily. Stock shares are tanking. Poles are doubling their army expecting a Russian incursion. Is WWIII on its way? News you can lose? All deter civilian bicycling.

Anyway, The Douche is in the White House, and Duffer’s on vacation, golfing again, while true men from founding fathers to honored patriots are rolling angrily in their graves. What FDR said echoes loudly, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Cruel and devious modus operandi define criminal sociopathy. Farm wains upon which they loaded Black Death casualties and fallen soldiers (“sold yer” out with huge cuts to veteran benefits and jobs) have been superseded by flat beds and trailer trucks for next inevitable Grey Death. Wailful days upon us warrant brown study and frown melancholy.

About time for a direction reversal: Hope of renewal springs eternal, thus perennial Easter festival. “Those trips a-wheel before the break of day, the pause to hear the morning songsters sing, the break of fast on berries by the way, the thirst assuaged by kneeling to the spring; The drill, the race, that memorable run, Quixotic like, in search of conquests fair - Each ‘joyed event returns like Summer sun, to warm the chillness of the Winter air.” - S. Conant Foster, A Midwinter Reverie, Wheel Songs, Poems of Bicycling, 1884

Not all bicycling memories melt into gratitude or warm your soul. How about brand new leather saddles before broken in or frozen fingertips throbbing as if seared by molten steel? Always attempted a last spin before weather set in for real, especially in winter when snowfall chases you home to stay until sun and wind strip streets of black ice and white depth, then watching out window day to day for another chance while trying to judge which bits of apparel will work under an ever varying conditional array. It’s an anniversary worth celebrating when single-ply short sleeve jersey and spandex shorts suffice. But paying the price panting between baking sun and grilling asphalt that waft watery mirages and wondering if you’ll complete course before wholly exhausted still haunt and menace, what Rachel Meltdown does to your typical MAGA clown. Self’s amuse abuse, or folly hobby, seems bombastic onanistic or depressive obsessive to someone else’s mentality.

Mary Mensana (Amanda Seyfried) is pregnant widow of a would-be environmental terrorist and rueful parishioner at First Reformed (Paul Schrader, dir., 2018), on eve of rural church’s 250th anniversary, where Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) serves as pastor to whom she rides her bicycle for emotional support. As an aside, a man does say Fred in reference to stodgy cyclists devoted to riding classic but outdated steel models such as a Peugeot Super Competition or Schwinn Varsity. This grim drama about climate despair, doctrinaire politics, hollow ceremony, and reproductive rights won Critic’s Choice Male Lead award for Hawke; screenplay was nominated for an Oscar.

Not finding a lot of new bicycle songs from dispirited Americans, composing still on wane, as previously described. Do note Europeans compiling abridged Youtube playlists, such as one from Germany of which only some of those not previously mentioned are listed below chronologically by release date. Interesting how France and Germany now stand together backing Ukraine’s resistance to Russia’s aggression after USA’s betrayal of democracy despite interwoven diversity and widespread mutiny of its citizens.

John Manchester, French Bicycle Music [piano instrumental], Blue Sky, Omnimusic, 1985

Beppo Küster, Ich fahre Rad [German pop], Bitte nach Ihnen, Amiga, 1986

Wolle Kriwanek Band, Mike (Mit dem Mountain-Bike) [German rock], Hot Wollé, Bell Records, 1992

M. A. Numminen, Fahrradfahren ist Notwendig [German, “Riding Bicycle Is Necessary”], soundtrack from short film Polkupyörällä ajaminen on tarpeellista (Sökö Kaukoranta, dir., 2000); commemorates 450th anniversary of Helsinki, Finland. Depicts a grey day with Numminen singing song beside riding on back of a bicycle being pedaled along a slushy roadside.

Spieltrieb, Fahrrad fahrn [German pop], Ohrrangement, self, 2008
“How do I feel? Of course, it rhymes with free. Whatever comes and happens can't touch me, because I have my song... There are a thousand ways to ride a bike, whether endurance, fast, downhill, or on the track. One thing is certain: you'll burn calories, and next summer you'll shine with a dream figure. Only what you eat is your fuel, and you're gliding along.”

Pat C, Klapprad [German], single video, self, 2010
“I ride a folding bike around the area; no reason to get upset”

Pratterino, Bicycle Song, Old Bicycle, Pär Strandberg, 2011

Souljah, Was mein Fahrrad angeht [German], single video, self, 2011
Bikecentric remake of the autocentric MoTrip song similarly named; if you sold God’s benefices, ecclesiastical privileges, or pardons it was once condemned as heretical simony, but now it’s the sole jam of Christian Nationalists loyal only to opportunist oligarchy.

Kommando Zurueck, Velociped [German hip-hop], Back from Out of Space, self, 2012

KraftKlub, Mein Rad [German], In Schwarz, Universal Music Group, 2014
Americans can related to this angst of loss plentiful evidenced, “My bike is no longer here, it's gone, that's what happened. But why is it now with an idiot like you... who sees things and just takes them like a stupid child?” Answer: Kleptocrats addicted to greed.

Anthony’s Putsch, King of the World, single video, self, 2014
“Won’t you grab that bike, please take me for a ride, and see that I’m King of the world! There is nothing I'm afraid of, mama, only the howling of the wind.” Right! Citizens of a democracy are collectively king, not some orange shellacked combover thing.

Infallet, Cykelhjälm Cykelhjälm [Swedish in English; group name means a “Sudden Whim”], single video, self, 2014
A helmet is stylish, the ultimate swag, no? “No pain, no gain. It’s a place to put your brain.”

Binyo, Fahrrad [German], Der Steg ist das Ziel [“The jetty is the destination’], self, 2015

The Rotaries, Bicycle Girl, On the Outs, self, 2015

Dota Kehr, Rennrad [German pop], Keine Gefahr, Kleingeldprinzessin Records, 2016

Maybebop, Lust auf Fahrrad [German], single, BMG, 2016

Moop Mama, Die Erfindung des Rades, M.O.O.P.Topia, self, 2016
“You are a miracle of nature on a miracle of technology, your round body contour, carefree and casual. They talk, and shout, and gesticulate, hands off the steering wheel. Sirens and horns are only for you, because you roll like a gangster.”

D.U.M. Enterprises, Fahrradtrack [German hip-hop], single video, self, 2018

Peelander-Z, Bike Bike Bike, Go PZ Go, Chicken Ranch Records, 2018

Günter Nüssle, Das Liegerad [German], single video, 2019

Nico Suave, Von Hamburg bis zum Meer [German pop], single video, Hamburg Marketing, 2019
“So many corners, so much to discover, on my bike... I’m never stuck in traffic. I pass you with a big smile.”

The Dirty Nil, To the Guy Who Stole My Bike, F*ck Art, Dine Alone Records, 2020
“I hope it serves you well. I hope the brakes don’t seize, when you’re riding down the hill to hell.”

Mr. Rose, Radfahren [German pop], single video, Problembär Records, 2020

Requisite, Bicycle, Rusty BBQ Demos EP, 1943896 Records DK, 2020
“Next time you offer me a ride, I might decline. I’d rather ride my bicycle.”

Severin Groebner, Rentner auf E-Bikes [German for “Retirees on E-bikes”], single video, self, 2020

Estéban Cortez, La-La-Lastenrad [German, “Cargo Bicycle”], single video, self, 2021
Going backwards by pedaling? Isn’t fuel too expensive?

Kadeja, feat. DieZelle, Bike, single video, PZK, 2021

Treptow, Nachts auf dem Fahrrad [German heavy metal], single video, self, 2021
“On the bike at night in Berlin... There’s room for you on my luggage rack; I'll gladly take you anywhere. Who needs a taxi?”

IFHT fea. Matt Dennison, New Bike Day, single video, self, 2022
“Got kicked out, got fired; wanna do stuff but I’m too tired. At least my mother’s proud of me (no, she’s not). But it’s new bike day, and I can’t be broken... I get to ride. I might be broke and alone, but there’s rubber and chrome... I feel alive... Can’t afford to fix my car, but I got shiny handlebars.”

Mike Ständer Band, Fahrradfahrn [German], Zweites, self, 2022

Blondie & Iris Wallaschek, Mein Rotes Fahrrad [German, "My Red Bicycle”], single video, Chromatics Entertainment Studios, 2023

Alex & Lukas (A. Diosegi and L. Brennecke), Radlerhymne [German hip-hop, “Cycling Anthem”], Schiffbruch, self, 2024
“Leather saddle padding and the pedal crank made of gold! The chrome rims measure an impressive twenty-six inches. Yes, then annoy a few passers-by with your exhaust. Hey, we'll pass you if you look out at us while you're filling up.”

E-Aldi, Fahrrad-Punks Not Dead, single, self, 2024

Vielleicht Emma, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, self, 2024

Hanker Sane

“They say that, ‘Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.’ Steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you king. There's only one step down from here, baby. It’s called the land of permanent bliss. What’s a sweetheart like you doing in a dump like this?” Bob Dylan, Sweetheart Like You, Infidels, 1983

None can predict what might occur with certainty, though irrational behaviors often bring harm and ought to be avoided if possible. Don’t expect genius decisions from brains afflicted with dementia, parasites or syphilis. Legally and politically, ignorance is no excuse, but insanity does provide a lame defense. Madmen can be entertaining, about the only reason anyone nowadays acquires a name, evades blame, gains fame, or stakes a claim. One ought to hanker defining reality over sane washing absurdity. But as a criminal regime dawns, exemplary service in society’s interests secures yawns.

Andrew Wyeth (1930 to 2006) watercolor on board; artist is known for painting scenes from native Maine to Pennsylvania brimming with intense surrealism and magic realism.

“The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.” “When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.” Quality maniac Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (HarperCollins, 1974, 448 pp.), 50th anniversary

Before 2024 election, couldn’t get enough of Strike Force Five and their hilarious criticisms of sick cultists in diametric contrast, and sparkling wits such as John Stewart and Tim Miller (shown below in parent’s basement flanked by bicycle posters). Now they are too sad and tragically targeted to merit same attention. Entertainers and journalists who champion truths and expose lawmakers will always be the enemies of tyrants.

Compulsions to create authentic content instead spread fallacy pollution. You can read lies daily in salacious headlines drawing audiences to another dull presentation meant to meet deadlines. Social media uses artificial intelligence to score influence, and, since purchased by privileged immigrants, sift out disloyal or dissident participants. All you can legitimately do is avoid trolls, boycott nonsense, buy nothing, ignore clickbait, and resist despots. Meanwhile, the exact opposite coexists, modest titles fronting indispensable testimony, intangible religiosity, and nontaxable charity.

Robert Isenberg, Mile Markers (Last Picked Books, 2024, 220 pp.), “A bicycle isn’t just a piece of sports equipment or a fun hobby. It is the purest innovation, a tool of liberation, the antidote for a million human woes.”

Complex phenomena come from random insufficiencies. Situations greatly vary. Seldom does one size fit all. Ice Road truckers don’t benefit as much from bicycle transportation as crosstown office commuters. Bicycles are labor saving devices compared to walking, but not while hauling tonnage. Who wants to be forced arbitrarily to do something more difficult than necessary? Jacques Derrida warned of torturing poets on a Procrustean Bed which sacrifices context for conformity. Old farts who plot violence and proceed unhinged against those they swore to serve will themselves, “Be hoisted with their own petard,”poetic justice of ironic outcomes, unintended suicides during terrorist bombings, not to be confused with pittards, leather gloves that protect well until outdoor winter trips trigger frozen fingertips.

After a year in America that saw historic investment in bicycling infrastructure and reciprocal equipment purchases, you’d naturally expect books, films, and songs to acknowledge and celebrate, and a dozen sparked recognition. Never underestimate the power of visual stimuli to shape perceptions and sway behaviors. Pick for yourself which one promotes prudent conduct. 

Alcoholic divorcee Michael (Brian Stillar), known locally as Bike (Terrance Odette, dir., 2024), resorts to collecting bottles, raiding dumpsters, running errands, scrounging beers, and stealing bicycles. One assignment has him arduously messengering a mystery envelope up a steep escarpment. His one hope, to jumpstart a relationship with his teenage daughter, runs into a detour when he witnesses a drive-by shooting.

Camera Corner (Josh Weinberg, dir., 2024) documents Wende Cragg’s archive of thousands of photos of early mountain bikes and Marin County’s MTB community circa 1974.

In uplifting fact-based feature film Hard Miles (Daniel Hannah, dir., 2024), social worker Matthew Modine ushers juvenile delinquents serving soft sentences on an epic bicycle tour to Grand Canyon, aided by sag driver Cynthia Kaye McWilliams and wrench tech Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee in LOTR). Everyone tumbles at least once on first attempt at using cleats.

Heretic (Bryan Woods and Scott Beck, dirs., 2024) follows Mormon sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East) blithely biking about, imposing their beliefs door to door, while seeking converts, until they arrive at the home of atheist psychopath Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), lock up bikes, and shuffle indoors. Resembles empty promises and fraught visits on political campaigns. This grim film received 2 dozen award nominations.

Rebel Ridge (Jeremy Saulnier, dir., 2024) shows ex-special forces marine Terry Richmond (Aaron Pierre) run afoul of corrupt police in rural South. After they knock him off his mountain bicycle and confiscate cash with which he was planning to bail out his cousin, random Rambo mayhem commences.

Souleymane’s Story (Boris Lojkine, dir., 2024, in French) is portrayed by Abou Sangare, who delivers food in Paris by bicycle. To qualify for asylum, he must prepare an autobiography prior to a state inquiry. Was nominated for 10 awards and won 7.

Tess Parks - Some Days: The Bike Song From Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Warner Bros. Pictures, Tim Burton, dir., 2024), “I don't like anything, but I love everyone some days... when the sun is out and good people are about it restores my faith.” Lydia Deetz’s psychic heir Astrid (Jenna Ortega) avoids colliding her bike with carelessly driven trucks but crashes through fence into the yard of Jeremy Frazier (Arthur Conti), who secretly designs her unsolicited destiny for his own expediency. Despicables dupe innocents, especially during elections. Living free is wondrous, withstanding afterlife monstrous. 

We Are Rock n Roll (Justin Balog, dir., 2024) is a documentary of the American Criterium Cup, a series of up to 10 races for points for purses totaling $500,000.

Bicycle Film Festival is currently and virtually presenting BFF Classics, short films previously introduced during its 25 year history, through 31 March 2025. There will also be physical exhibitions of new works at various global locations including Copenhagen.

Pandemic doctor Daniela Schwendener gets revitalized by gravel bicycling on her Days Off (Liam Higgins, dir., 2022), an overlooked short from a few years ago promoting Cotic Bikes shot on location in England’s Peak District National Park.

Project A (Jackie Chan, dir.,1983) casts himself as Sergeant Dragon Ma Yue Lung and performs in martial arts battles including a frenetic bicycle scene set in Hong Kong alleys. What’s the goal of that silly slapstick sound at every kick?

Patricia Taxxon, Big Wheel, Bicycle, self, 2024 - Rambling aural experiment eventually gets around to lyrics: "The big wheel in the sky, he arcs o’er miles and miles... We can see the whole town from up here, feel the wind sail past our ears, the whistling noise it makes, so frigid and so fierce.”