Spilt Champagne

“President he’s got his war; folks don’t know just what it’s for. Nobody gives us rhyme or reason. Have one doubt they call it treason. We’re chicken feathers all without one nut. Goddamn it! Tryin' to make it real compared to what.” - Eddie Harris, Gene McDaniels, and Les McCann, Compared to What, Swiss Movement, Atlantic, 1969... album certified gold and song covered by 270 other performers.

Le Demi-Fond was once a 100 kilometer velodrome event where “the big motor” paced “the stayer”, that is, motorcyclist created a slipstream for drafting bicyclist running huge chainrings to reach speeds up to 124 mph. A popular spectacle from last century, it was inherently dangerous with track competitors and spectators killed and maimed until officially banned in 1994, though something similar is still how bicycle speed records are made on salt flats. Somewhat echoes e-bikes today, which quicken pace so each ride averages 3 to 5 mph faster. Riding bikes used to mean mere spinning; with e-bikes that becomes e-moting, because you frequently have to react in a panic and try to spin faster than motor boost, typically paused at 20 mph, to conserve charge for final segment on tired legs. Although sprayed champagne celebrates podium wins, spilt wine portends disaster. There’s no glory in top speed to which a cyclist strives, just a blur among crowds desperate for fresh air and smidgeon of exercise as Spring season finally arrives.

Level of being admired at zero percentage, aggregator Labann generously marches on never wanting to address attention needy POTUS insanity and wishing current term to be over permanently. Tired of turds dominating words downing out every voter democratically. “Halfway through”, demi-term election might overthrow oligarchy advantage. News used to be idea provoking specifics, not obviously vicious lies, gamely negotiated politics, not gas lit by wise guys. Where’s public outrage upon this perilous stage? Witch hunts describe going after officers doing their jobs who stood in your way when you committed a crime. If you keep misapplying and violating laws, you will be impeached and indicted every time. Whence and whither congressional counterbalance? Court rulings can only compel law abiders; marshals are their sole contempt enforcers if judges take a stance.

American People for nearly a century have long been the bulwark against wanton homicide and a stabilizing influence worldwide. Amagastan dupes don’t inherit this reputation. Christian Nationalists say, “Be charitable to yourself first,” in other words, stuff your pockets at someone else’s expense, even to where others perish or suffer for your greed and predation. They don’t know recipes for stone soups. Homeless beggar Christ amassed no coinage as a carpenter and fisherman, performed miracles and served strangers for free, for which he was crucified and interred penniless in donated linen and tomb by way of example on how to live divinely. To opposite extreme, Mango Mussolini is marching an army of mercs and orcs out of his lair, Mordor Lago, to murder mankind, spill blood, and wreak havoc. Slashing cybercrime mob surveillants, law enforcement agents, inspector general operatives, and national security staff leaves both them and you less protected against megalomaniacal psychopaths who’d burn planet and torture infants for a laugh.

Ruining how agencies run creates dissatisfaction meant to pave way to privatization, falsely reputed to improve efficiency. Taxpayers, which excludes many billionaires who evade paying, have invested literally hundreds of trillions in buildings, equipment, infrastructure, and workforce training. Consider post office with facilities and vehicles (Bezos drools), or military with jets, munitions, tanks, vessels, and weapons (Dumbo tools). Social Security (nobody’s fools) has $3 trillion in a trust fund you amassed. Fort Knox stores your tons of gold treasure, increased in value to $300 billion, enough to reduce public debt if liquidated. Unelected villains want to hand it all over to cronies to exploit for profit, leave citizens impoverished, raise service costs, and rob you blind. You’re already paying millions to El Salvador to inter a few hundred deportees not even indicted while stateside prisons remain full of convicted perps. Tariffs have nothing to do with encouraging domestic production; champagne only comes from France, as do thousands of other goods impossible to copy and only made abroad. It’s all a reality show for the cluelessly gung-ho, not sensible policy for vast majority.

Administrative decisions of late have been met with abject horror among three quarters of population. Not one campaign promise has been fulfilled, and vile edicts are being carried out despite federal court injunctions against. Conservative congress decided to cede their power as a coequal branch of government and let Felon 47 do his damnedest to destroy democracy, exploit war power act to deport without due process and stay in office, and target potential domestic enemies including political opponents and press reporters. How can half of supposed representatives support such unconstitutional injustice? Cowardly congressmen listened to advice not to answer questions or conduct forums. That’s admissible evidence of their violating oaths of office to stand for constituents. A quick fix would be to recall them individually from state to state, which would reverse curse of a slight GOP majority. Investigative journalists hold public officials accountable and shine a light on acts unlawful; otherwise, democracy dies in darkness.

When SCOTUS ruled in favor of Citizens United, it enabled billionaires to buy congressional seats among both major parties, call shots as they please, and determine all policies. Before oligarchs seized control, government had sustained many popular participant programs - Affordable Care, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Supplemental Nutrition - that a succession of Republicans since Reagan wanted to crush and divert funds from held accounts into hands of the richest few. Temptation to smash and steal was just too strong for self indulgent legislators and their stink tank lunatics. Brian Tyler Cohen argues, “This feels like betrayal... We are desperate for fighters... If this crop of elected officials won’t, then people are going to elect new ones who will.”

Make great again for whom? Criminal kleptocrats, crypto schemers, goon squads, greedy oligarchs, privatizing congresspeople, shrewd whores, storm troopers, white supremacists, and yes men. Everyone else will be banished, deported, or targeted. Better watch your back and pack a go-bag when you have to escape, especially congressionally appointed judges forced to follow constitution who block autocratic playbook, or dissidents and opponents to unitary executive rule. “You don’t impeach judges who issues orders you don’t like... Debate makes this country great,” said senior senator Bernie Sanders. Unless as slaves, there’ll be no quarter for Asians, Blacks, Indians, Latinos, seniors, or women. Sorry, MAGA-mob, you were literally sold a big perverse joke and a pig in a poke. Have to have faith they’ve miscalculated effects of mistreating military veterans and public servants, two groups who own lion’s share of nation’s war tactics and weapons expertise. Would not want to take on these patriots in any fight, especially ones that threaten their families.

Voter remorse? “I been a bad, bad, bad man... Remember the time when I eat you up? Yeah, I was a lie that you can't give up. If I was to cheat, oh no, would you see right through me? ...How you like me now? How you like me now?” The Heavy, The House That Dirt Built, Counter, 2009

To whom do you turn? Liam Turner (Robert Timothy Smith) ineptly scribbles a dyslexic Dear Santa (Bobby Farrelly, dir., 2024) letter to North Pole, but transposes characters and winds up with a visit from Dear Satan (Jack Black) from North Lope, who offers him 3 wishes for his soul. Black’s character turns out to be a demon on probation, not Prince of Darkness himself. In another such switcheroo, you got a convicted serial con man instead of a Leader of the Free World. “Slow down, Lance Armstrong,” says school crossing guard (Cate Freedman) to nemesis teacher Mr. Charles (P. J. Byrne), whose midlife crisis has him riding a racing bicycle about town on Christmas Day. They agree to go together for Chinese food, though he rethinks asking her to sit on his back rack, so they stroll instead.

Not all romances conclude happily ever after. In favorably received Netflix series One Day (Luke Snellin, dir., 2024), Episode 13, Dexter Mayhew (Leo Woodall) and Emma Morley (Ambika Mod) are an engaged couple in 2000, 14 years after they met in Edinburgh at their graduation ball. Having crossed paths for years, they are now planning their wedding. Dexter looks to open a café. Emma’s is about to publish her fourth novel. After a spat, she leaves Dexter an apology note, saying she still loves him and that she'll be five minutes late for their realty appointment to view a honeymoon house. On a rainy Saturday, Saint Swithin's Day, a careless motorist knocks Emma off her bicycle, and, despite wearing a helmet, she dies; foul weather must follow each day for next 40, according to folklore and screenplay.

Bicycling culture among contemporary Navajo Nation is the subject of documentary In The Dirt (T. C. Johnstone, dir., 2023) in conjunction with New Mexico non-profit Silver Stallion, where youth learn bicycle handling, mechanical repair, personal empowerment, and specialty coffee skills.

Dick Wolf’s scripted drama Law&Order: SVU, Season 16, Episode 4, Holden’s Manifesto (Jean de Segonzac, dir., 2014), portrays bike messenger and ignorable incel Holden March (John Karna, shown), who avenges his narcissist ego by murdering women he’s convinced wronged him by ignoring his awkward advances. Detective Amanda Rollins (Kelli Giddish) and Sergeant Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) have to ferret out and take down this serial slayer. Story is based on real life case Elliot Rodger's Retribution resulting in Isla Vista Killings of same year. Over 25 years, program has won 46 awards including 6 Primetime Emmys.

Pivotal scene in blockbuster musical Wicked (John M. Chu, dir., 2024) has fondling Elphaba Thropp (Cynthia Erivo) and Prince Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey) by bicycles spiriting off a lion cub in a basket that Oz (Jeff Goldblum) wants to cage along with all other animals. Harks back to original when Ms. Gulch put Toto in her basket. Creature mistreatment sets her on course to becoming Wicked Witch of the West. Though cut off to be continued before story concludes, this Wizard of Oz prequel was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won 2.

Big budget sci-fi bomb The Electric State (Russo Brothers, dirs., 2025), beside being among the most expensive movies ever made, takes on dystopian interface between artificial and human intelligence, but wastes many acting talents. Foster teen Michelle Greene (Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things. shown) channels previous role while battling evil tech CEO Ethan Skate (Stanley Tucci), bicycling about to muster a posse, and bringing back her comatose genius brother during a civil war instigated for profit in data memories. If not for bad character development and weak plot, you’d think audiences would identify with made-in-China “Tesler” boycott backstory, and react to EV insult reversal as hypocritical irony. Not masochistic enough to enjoy fiction so close to current events?

Baleful Wain

“I see you got your list out. Say your piece and get out. Yes, I get the gist of it, but it's alright. Sorry that you feel that way. The only thing there is to say, ‘Every silver lining's got a Touch of Grey.’ I will get by... I will survive.” - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, 1987

To stay authentic and topical today’s writers must surf ahead of a tsunami of social insanity within a tyrannical tube of factuality. They have to assess advertisements, arts, blogs, books, broadcasts, documentaries, edicts, interviews, manifestos, movies, music, newscasts, podcasts, poetry, posts, rap, speeches, TikTok, tweets, videos, vlogs, and what’s not even on this Sisyphean list while investigating in person both an artificial and natural world, specific spaces at times, either eager to commit murder and devour your corpse. No bubble or force field, only cloth, grey matter, leather, or lycra to protect, it’s hard for anyone to say for sure, if at all, what preserves one’s inner self from threats out there. While being absorbed, ingested and inhaled, world in turn swallows you whole, simultaneously bestowing and taking, crucifying and forgiving, furnishing and suffocating, punishing and rewarding.

Labann’s mission has always been to encompass all of bicycling culture, monitor sources as new examples emerge, and show how items interconnect. Too often lately that involves baleful reports of political smackdowns, such as a POTUS proclamation trying to reverse NYC’s smart and successful Congestion Tolls. For GOP, state sovereignty only applies when it suits their own hypocritical lies. Often here cited public datasets are disappearing; all hail fascist efficiency that funnels public treasures to billionaire parasites! Low class cowards and thugs attacked Palestinian Muslims during Ramadan, then extorted neighborly Canadians because they think they can. No Russian mobsters have been deported. Gitmo has no promised alien detainees. Government services are disappearing. Inflation worsens daily. Stock shares are tanking. Poles are doubling their army expecting a Russian incursion. Is WWIII on its way? News you can lose? All deter civilian bicycling.

Anyway, The Douche is in the White House, and Duffer’s on vacation, golfing again, while true men from founding fathers to honored patriots are rolling angrily in their graves. What FDR said echoes loudly, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Cruel and devious modus operandi define criminal sociopathy. Farm wains upon which they loaded Black Death casualties and fallen soldiers (“sold yer” out with huge cuts to veteran benefits and jobs) have been superseded by flat beds and trailer trucks for next inevitable Grey Death. Wailful days upon us warrant brown study and frown melancholy.

About time for a direction reversal: Hope of renewal springs eternal, thus perennial Easter festival. “Those trips a-wheel before the break of day, the pause to hear the morning songsters sing, the break of fast on berries by the way, the thirst assuaged by kneeling to the spring; The drill, the race, that memorable run, Quixotic like, in search of conquests fair - Each ‘joyed event returns like Summer sun, to warm the chillness of the Winter air.” - S. Conant Foster, A Midwinter Reverie, Wheel Songs, Poems of Bicycling, 1884

Not all bicycling memories melt into gratitude or warm your soul. How about brand new leather saddles before broken in or frozen fingertips throbbing as if seared by molten steel? Always attempted a last spin before weather set in for real, especially in winter when snowfall chases you home to stay until sun and wind strip streets of black ice and white depth, then watching out window day to day for another chance while trying to judge which bits of apparel will work under an ever varying conditional array. It’s an anniversary worth celebrating when single-ply short sleeve jersey and spandex shorts suffice. But paying the price panting between baking sun and grilling asphalt that waft watery mirages and wondering if you’ll complete course before wholly exhausted still haunt and menace, what Rachel Meltdown does to your typical MAGA clown. Self’s amuse abuse, or folly hobby, seems bombastic onanistic or depressive obsessive to someone else’s mentality.

Mary Mensana (Amanda Seyfried) is pregnant widow of a would-be environmental terrorist and rueful parishioner at First Reformed (Paul Schrader, dir., 2018), on eve of rural church’s 250th anniversary, where Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) serves as pastor to whom she rides her bicycle for emotional support. As an aside, a man does say Fred in reference to stodgy cyclists devoted to riding classic but outdated steel models such as a Peugeot Super Competition or Schwinn Varsity. This grim drama about climate despair, doctrinaire politics, hollow ceremony, and reproductive rights won Critic’s Choice Male Lead award for Hawke; screenplay was nominated for an Oscar.

Not finding a lot of new bicycle songs from dispirited Americans, composing still on wane, as previously described. Do note Europeans compiling abridged Youtube playlists, such as one from Germany of which only some of those not previously mentioned are listed below chronologically by release date. Interesting how France and Germany now stand together backing Ukraine’s resistance to Russia’s aggression after USA’s betrayal of democracy despite interwoven diversity and widespread mutiny of its citizens.

John Manchester, French Bicycle Music [piano instrumental], Blue Sky, Omnimusic, 1985

Beppo Küster, Ich fahre Rad [German pop], Bitte nach Ihnen, Amiga, 1986

Wolle Kriwanek Band, Mike (Mit dem Mountain-Bike) [German rock], Hot Wollé, Bell Records, 1992

M. A. Numminen, Fahrradfahren ist Notwendig [German, “Riding Bicycle Is Necessary”], soundtrack from short film Polkupyörällä ajaminen on tarpeellista (Sökö Kaukoranta, dir., 2000); commemorates 450th anniversary of Helsinki, Finland. Depicts a grey day with Numminen singing song beside riding on back of a bicycle being pedaled along a slushy roadside.

Spieltrieb, Fahrrad fahrn [German pop], Ohrrangement, self, 2008
“How do I feel? Of course, it rhymes with free. Whatever comes and happens can't touch me, because I have my song... There are a thousand ways to ride a bike, whether endurance, fast, downhill, or on the track. One thing is certain: you'll burn calories, and next summer you'll shine with a dream figure. Only what you eat is your fuel, and you're gliding along.”

Pat C, Klapprad [German], single video, self, 2010
“I ride a folding bike around the area; no reason to get upset”

Pratterino, Bicycle Song, Old Bicycle, Pär Strandberg, 2011

Souljah, Was mein Fahrrad angeht [German], single video, self, 2011
Bikecentric remake of the autocentric MoTrip song similarly named; if you sold God’s benefices, ecclesiastical privileges, or pardons it was once condemned as heretical simony, but now it’s the sole jam of Christian Nationalists loyal only to opportunist oligarchy.

Kommando Zurueck, Velociped [German hip-hop], Back from Out of Space, self, 2012

KraftKlub, Mein Rad [German], In Schwarz, Universal Music Group, 2014
Americans can related to this angst of loss plentiful evidenced, “My bike is no longer here, it's gone, that's what happened. But why is it now with an idiot like you... who sees things and just takes them like a stupid child?” Answer: Kleptocrats addicted to greed.

Anthony’s Putsch, King of the World, single video, self, 2014
“Won’t you grab that bike, please take me for a ride, and see that I’m King of the world! There is nothing I'm afraid of, mama, only the howling of the wind.” Right! Citizens of a democracy are collectively king, not some orange shellacked combover thing.

Infallet, Cykelhjälm Cykelhjälm [Swedish in English; group name means a “Sudden Whim”], single video, self, 2014
A helmet is stylish, the ultimate swag, no? “No pain, no gain. It’s a place to put your brain.”

Binyo, Fahrrad [German], Der Steg ist das Ziel [“The jetty is the destination’], self, 2015

The Rotaries, Bicycle Girl, On the Outs, self, 2015

Dota Kehr, Rennrad [German pop], Keine Gefahr, Kleingeldprinzessin Records, 2016

Maybebop, Lust auf Fahrrad [German], single, BMG, 2016

Moop Mama, Die Erfindung des Rades, M.O.O.P.Topia, self, 2016
“You are a miracle of nature on a miracle of technology, your round body contour, carefree and casual. They talk, and shout, and gesticulate, hands off the steering wheel. Sirens and horns are only for you, because you roll like a gangster.”

D.U.M. Enterprises, Fahrradtrack [German hip-hop], single video, self, 2018

Peelander-Z, Bike Bike Bike, Go PZ Go, Chicken Ranch Records, 2018

Günter Nüssle, Das Liegerad [German], single video, 2019

Nico Suave, Von Hamburg bis zum Meer [German pop], single video, Hamburg Marketing, 2019
“So many corners, so much to discover, on my bike... I’m never stuck in traffic. I pass you with a big smile.”

The Dirty Nil, To the Guy Who Stole My Bike, F*ck Art, Dine Alone Records, 2020
“I hope it serves you well. I hope the brakes don’t seize, when you’re riding down the hill to hell.”

Mr. Rose, Radfahren [German pop], single video, Problembär Records, 2020

Requisite, Bicycle, Rusty BBQ Demos EP, 1943896 Records DK, 2020
“Next time you offer me a ride, I might decline. I’d rather ride my bicycle.”

Severin Groebner, Rentner auf E-Bikes [German for “Retirees on E-bikes”], single video, self, 2020

Estéban Cortez, La-La-Lastenrad [German, “Cargo Bicycle”], single video, self, 2021
Going backwards by pedaling? Isn’t fuel too expensive?

Kadeja, feat. DieZelle, Bike, single video, PZK, 2021

Treptow, Nachts auf dem Fahrrad [German heavy metal], single video, self, 2021
“On the bike at night in Berlin... There’s room for you on my luggage rack; I'll gladly take you anywhere. Who needs a taxi?”

IFHT fea. Matt Dennison, New Bike Day, single video, self, 2022
“Got kicked out, got fired; wanna do stuff but I’m too tired. At least my mother’s proud of me (no, she’s not). But it’s new bike day, and I can’t be broken... I get to ride. I might be broke and alone, but there’s rubber and chrome... I feel alive... Can’t afford to fix my car, but I got shiny handlebars.”

Mike Ständer Band, Fahrradfahrn [German], Zweites, self, 2022

Blondie & Iris Wallaschek, Mein Rotes Fahrrad [German, "My Red Bicycle”], single video, Chromatics Entertainment Studios, 2023

Alex & Lukas (A. Diosegi and L. Brennecke), Radlerhymne [German hip-hop, “Cycling Anthem”], Schiffbruch, self, 2024
“Leather saddle padding and the pedal crank made of gold! The chrome rims measure an impressive twenty-six inches. Yes, then annoy a few passers-by with your exhaust. Hey, we'll pass you if you look out at us while you're filling up.”

E-Aldi, Fahrrad-Punks Not Dead, single, self, 2024

Vielleicht Emma, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, self, 2024

Hanker Sane

“They say that, ‘Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.’ Steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you king. There's only one step down from here, baby. It’s called the land of permanent bliss. What’s a sweetheart like you doing in a dump like this?” Bob Dylan, Sweetheart Like You, Infidels, 1983

None can predict what might occur with certainty, though irrational behaviors often bring harm and ought to be avoided if possible. Don’t expect genius decisions from brains afflicted with dementia, parasites or syphilis. Legally and politically, ignorance is no excuse, but insanity does provide a lame defense. Madmen can be entertaining, about the only reason anyone nowadays acquires a name, evades blame, gains fame, or stakes a claim. One ought to hanker defining reality over sane washing absurdity. But as a criminal regime dawns, exemplary service in society’s interests secures yawns.

Andrew Wyeth (1930 to 2006) watercolor on board; artist is known for painting scenes from native Maine to Pennsylvania brimming with intense surrealism and magic realism.

“The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.” “When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.” Quality maniac Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (HarperCollins, 1974, 448 pp.), 50th anniversary

Before 2024 election, couldn’t get enough of Strike Force Five and their hilarious criticisms of sick cultists in diametric contrast, and sparkling wits such as John Stewart and Tim Miller (shown below in parent’s basement flanked by bicycle posters). Now they are too sad and tragically targeted to merit same attention. Entertainers and journalists who champion truths and expose lawmakers will always be the enemies of tyrants.

Compulsions to create authentic content instead spread fallacy pollution. You can read lies daily in salacious headlines drawing audiences to another dull presentation meant to meet deadlines. Social media uses artificial intelligence to score influence, and, since purchased by privileged immigrants, sift out disloyal or dissident participants. All you can legitimately do is avoid trolls, boycott nonsense, buy nothing, ignore clickbait, and resist despots. Meanwhile, the exact opposite coexists, modest titles fronting indispensable testimony, intangible religiosity, and nontaxable charity.

Robert Isenberg, Mile Markers (Last Picked Books, 2024, 220 pp.), “A bicycle isn’t just a piece of sports equipment or a fun hobby. It is the purest innovation, a tool of liberation, the antidote for a million human woes.”

Complex phenomena come from random insufficiencies. Situations greatly vary. Seldom does one size fit all. Ice Road truckers don’t benefit as much from bicycle transportation as crosstown office commuters. Bicycles are labor saving devices compared to walking, but not while hauling tonnage. Who wants to be forced arbitrarily to do something more difficult than necessary? Jacques Derrida warned of torturing poets on a Procrustean Bed which sacrifices context for conformity. Old farts who plot violence and proceed unhinged against those they swore to serve will themselves, “Be hoisted with their own petard,”poetic justice of ironic outcomes, unintended suicides during terrorist bombings, not to be confused with pittards, leather gloves that protect well until outdoor winter trips trigger frozen fingertips.

After a year in America that saw historic investment in bicycling infrastructure and reciprocal equipment purchases, you’d naturally expect books, films, and songs to acknowledge and celebrate, and a dozen sparked recognition. Never underestimate the power of visual stimuli to shape perceptions and sway behaviors. Pick for yourself which one promotes prudent conduct. 

Alcoholic divorcee Michael (Brian Stillar), known locally as Bike (Terrance Odette, dir., 2024), resorts to collecting bottles, raiding dumpsters, running errands, scrounging beers, and stealing bicycles. One assignment has him arduously messengering a mystery envelope up a steep escarpment. His one hope, to jumpstart a relationship with his teenage daughter, runs into a detour when he witnesses a drive-by shooting.

Camera Corner (Josh Weinberg, dir., 2024) documents Wende Cragg’s archive of thousands of photos of early mountain bikes and Marin County’s MTB community circa 1974.

In uplifting fact-based feature film Hard Miles (Daniel Hannah, dir., 2024), social worker Matthew Modine ushers juvenile delinquents serving soft sentences on an epic bicycle tour to Grand Canyon, aided by sag driver Cynthia Kaye McWilliams and wrench tech Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee in LOTR). Everyone tumbles at least once on first attempt at using cleats.

Heretic (Bryan Woods and Scott Beck, dirs., 2024) follows Mormon sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East) blithely biking about, imposing their beliefs door to door, while seeking converts, until they arrive at the home of atheist psychopath Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), lock up bikes, and shuffle indoors. Resembles empty promises and fraught visits on political campaigns. This grim film received 2 dozen award nominations.

Rebel Ridge (Jeremy Saulnier, dir., 2024) shows ex-special forces marine Terry Richmond (Aaron Pierre) run afoul of corrupt police in rural South. After they knock him off his mountain bicycle and confiscate cash with which he was planning to bail out his cousin, random Rambo mayhem commences.

Souleymane’s Story (Boris Lojkine, dir., 2024, in French) is portrayed by Abou Sangare, who delivers food in Paris by bicycle. To qualify for asylum, he must prepare an autobiography prior to a state inquiry. Was nominated for 10 awards and won 7.

Tess Parks - Some Days: The Bike Song From Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Warner Bros. Pictures, Tim Burton, dir., 2024), “I don't like anything, but I love everyone some days... when the sun is out and good people are about it restores my faith.” Lydia Deetz’s psychic heir Astrid (Jenna Ortega) avoids colliding her bike with carelessly driven trucks but crashes through fence into the yard of Jeremy Frazier (Arthur Conti), who secretly designs her unsolicited destiny for his own expediency. Despicables dupe innocents, especially during elections. Living free is wondrous, withstanding afterlife monstrous. 

We Are Rock n Roll (Justin Balog, dir., 2024) is a documentary of the American Criterium Cup, a series of up to 10 races for points for purses totaling $500,000.

Bicycle Film Festival is currently and virtually presenting BFF Classics, short films previously introduced during its 25 year history, through 31 March 2025. There will also be physical exhibitions of new works at various global locations including Copenhagen.

Pandemic doctor Daniela Schwendener gets revitalized by gravel bicycling on her Days Off (Liam Higgins, dir., 2022), an overlooked short from a few years ago promoting Cotic Bikes shot on location in England’s Peak District National Park.

Project A (Jackie Chan, dir.,1983) casts himself as Sergeant Dragon Ma Yue Lung and performs in martial arts battles including a frenetic bicycle scene set in Hong Kong alleys. What’s the goal of that silly slapstick sound at every kick?

Patricia Taxxon, Big Wheel, Bicycle, self, 2024 - Rambling aural experiment eventually gets around to lyrics: "The big wheel in the sky, he arcs o’er miles and miles... We can see the whole town from up here, feel the wind sail past our ears, the whistling noise it makes, so frigid and so fierce.”

Strike Soudain

Despite Writer Guild of America’s strike, just resolved, and supporting actions by screen actors and such professionals, some feature films and television programs continue to be released, and there are many existing amusements for just about every taste.

British Pathé filmed daily life a century ago leaving relevant clips as these:
Cycle Town, Copenhagen, Denmark (1923)
National Bicycle Week, Hyde Park, London, England (1923)
The Postman (1940)

Misfit teen heroine Moondance Alexander (Michael Damian, dir., 2007), played by Kay Panabaker, rides her pink stepthrough bike for local transportation and on part time store deliveries, which as advertised expands her horizons. She comes upon a pinto horse loose from its paddock. Upon returning it to owner Dante (Don Johnson), he teaches her to jump Checkers in competition, thus getting one over her snotty school nemesis.

The Year Dolly Parton Was My Mom (Tara Johns, dir., 2011) depicts confused preteen Elizabeth Gray (Julia Sarah Stone), who believes the barren Country Western singer is her mother. She tries to ride her banana bike 500 miles from Winnipeg, Manitoba to Minneapolis, Minnesota, where Dolly was scheduled to perform. Her adoptive mom Marion (Macha Grenon) intercepts her at the US border and tosses her bike off a cliff. Bittersweet but contrived, closest Dolly ever came to appearing near there was Madison, Wisconsin in 1976.

In feature film Barbie (Greta Gerwig, dir., 2023), Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling) dotes on Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) admidst an idealized matriarchal society, content to play stoker on her tandem. Eventually, Ken dolls rebel and seek patriarchal power until female dolls get them to fight among themselves.

No Hard Feelings (Gene Stupnitsky, dir., 2023) has desperate escort Maddie (Jennifer Lawrence) hired by anxious parents to seduce their reluctant son Percy (Andrew Barth Feldman). She tempts him every way she knows how, including stuffing his bicycle in the back of a van while kidnapping him.

Florence Pugh plays A Good Person (Zach Braff, dir., 2023) cursed with bad luck. Fiddling with smartphone navigator, she crashes into a roadside excavator injuring self and killing her finacé. After a long recovery. she's hooked on opioids and rides a BMX instead of driving.

Grim documentary Amber (Elizabeth Fisher, dir., 2023) delves into unsolved mystery of Amber Rene Hagerman’s disappearance. This 9 year old left home in Arlington Texas on her bicycle only to be found dead 4 days later. Outcry resulted in the so-named Amber Alert System that since has saved lives of over a thousand children.

Because majority views television for events reporting and serial entertainment, effect of WGA strike has been to afford fascist news a free pass to spread lies with too little to counter and expose. Most networks don't incite violence and issue hate speech with relentless enthusiasm. Unbalanced agitation leads to division, terrorism, and treason among disturbed individuals and splinter groups they target. Rupert’s daily assault upon the democracy he loathes doesn’t need guild writers, isn’t scripted, and solicits few advertisers, since they can sustain attack through corporate agendas and private patronage.

How can you stop their 24/7 barrage validated by resultant hate and murder they themselves provoked like some self fulfilling prophecy? You'll never assess degree of damage done to democracy over 146 days of unchallenged opinions. Once late night commentators begin to return next week will anyone notice balance restored?

Is there any point in complaining when narcissists revel in your anguish? Every appeal to fairness just feeds their twisted needs and fortifies their sociopathies. For them schadenfreude is a favored sport. Publishing articles and speaking up publicly confines your arguments to a past that nobody wants to relive, while perpetrators commit new conspiracies nobody wants to admit to being so gullible to allow themselves to be hoodwinked and victimized by.

Vélo Humain

With filing deadline postponed by pandemic, Tax Day arrived along with Bike-to-Work Week. Observed by viewing an energy alternative documentary, Planet of the Humans (Jeff Gibbs, dir., 2020), which stares down environmental issues and suggests Earth’s salvation rests in realigning lifestyles. “The path to change comes from awareness... Infinite growth on a finite planet is suicide... We must take control of our environmental movement and our future from billionaires and their permanent war on planet earth.” Good luck with that! If COVID taught anything, it’s that people aren’t easily cajoled to act on their own behalf, never mind community’s or planet’s. Following a year of furlough or work from home, drivers’ abilities and attention atrophied, bicycling risks were exacerbated, earnings diminished, and wealth inequality expanded.

Those who profited from technology caused problems, yet they remain convinced there are technological solutions into which they’ve heavily invested. Trying to eliminate fossil fuels and look carbon guiltless, they’ve created industries with equivalent toxic or tragic aftermaths, for example, burning biomass, which clearcuts life-giving forests for fuel, or solar panels, which combine rare earth materials out of devastating strip mines and defy recycling once failed after only a few years of use, even before mine land has been reclaimed. Power companies install innovations to justify rate hikes that they force users to pay. You’d think burning or gasifying garbage might work, or fusion reactors with no radioactive waste, but where’s the profit in it? It’s a complex issue made intractable by greedy capitalists and needy do-nothings.

Funny that Gibbs never mentions bicycling; even student protestors shown had sense to ride to rallies. Average cost of car ownership has risen in 2021 to $9,282/year, thousands more in 1st year, then gradually decreasing to half by 10th as costs, except insurance and maintenance, decline. An average of 13,500 miles are driven annually. This estimates about 70 cents/mile, not taking into account related cancer/crash deaths, shared cleanup costs, what’s consumed to afford this luxury, wars waged, and world destruction. According to industry analysts and confirmed personally, bicycling cost only 4 cents/mile with practically no environmental or geopolitical detriment. Paved roads are not even necessary, if you own an MTB, though do improve pedaling efficiency. Too many Americans prefer death, debt, and Dukes of Hazzard, although once popular NASCAR attendance had already dwindled before personal distancing seemed prudent.

Woke tree-huggers gravitate to new electric and hybrid vehicles and lambaste gas guzzlers, gross polluters, and pub crawlers. An honest statement aligned with nature can be made by riding bicycles and thumbing nose at busses, cars and trains. Beyond just Bike Month and for months at a clip, performing bands including Shake Your Peace, The Ditty Bops, The Ginger Ninjas, and This Bike is a Pipe Bomb used to ride by bikes between gigs all over North America. Bodies congregating and cooperating can even form a human bicycle side show act.

“Focusing on an individual’s carbon footprint is a useful mechanism that diverts attention away from the worldwide impact of global warming. Anti-global-warming PR often means deflecting global warming by re-locating the issue onto side issues. It prefers to blame global warming on individuals rather than corporate behaviour... Such campaigns blame those who highlight the impact of global warming by focusing on the messenger... Forbes magazine once suggested that [climate activist who crossed North Atlantic on a sailboat in winter to speak before UN] Greta Thunberg’s lifestyle may be one reason for global warming.” Norman Simms & Thomas Klikauer, May 20, 2021

Convincing his NYC family, Colin Beavan vowed to be No Impact Man (Justin Schein, dir., 2008) for a year by personally not contributing carbon exhaust from flying or motoring, coffee imbibing, conditioned air, disposable diapers, elevator rides, excess consumption, imported or take out foods, new purchases, paper trash, plastic packaging, refrigeration, subway use, taxi hops, television watching, toilet paper, and water toxins from detergents. For anyone to follow, they’d have to live his at-home author vegetarian lifestyle. For actual zero impact, you must also avoid work that consumes electricity. fuel or materials; compost food and human wastes; only ingest medicines you grow on windowsills; plant trees to offset carbon you exhale; self propel to farms to shop (shipping each menu ingredient averages 1,500 miles); sit at home in the dark; and skip as many meals as possible. Would miss cooked food and hot water. If everyone did only one, world would indeed be better off. But it’s Al Gore hypocrisy all over, profit driven drivel that says, Do as I say, not as I do.” After his Thoreau inspired trial, sole thing that stuck with Beavan was bicycling, since it proved the most economical and effective urban choice.

For 1 minute and 11 seconds in magic realism film 2:22 (Paul Currie, dir., 2017), multimodal commuter Dylan Branson (Michiel Huisman) rides his bike from his business district apartment to Grand Central Station to board a subway to his job as a JFK air traffic controller. As a bicyclist dodging midtown traffic, patterns come naturally to him, a skill that makes him great at what he does. One day at 2:22 PM, he’s suddenly stunned by universe crushing down upon him, and nearly causes an airline crash, which results in his suspension. This gives him days to explore a bizarre relationship with Sarah (Teresa Palmer), a repeating pattern of things that go boom at 2:22 P.M., and series of events based on fates of residents 30 years ago superimposed upon their current lives.

When Katja Şekerci (Diane Kruger) leaves her Kurdish husband and son at his office, she cautions a woman who’s leaving a brand new bike out front in Hamburg’s Turkish quarter that she ought to lock it up. In the Fade, aka Aus dem Nichts (Out of Nowhere, Fatih Akin, dir., 2017, German with subtitles) tells Katja’s story in the aftermath of this Neo-Nazi bike bomb, loosely based on events of 2004 Cologne. When courts are unable to convict couple responsible despite her testimony, Katja hunts down these terrorists.

Blood Road (Nicholas Schrunk, dir., 2017) tracks endurance mountain biker Rebecca Rusch and native guide Huyen Nguyen who pedaled 1,200 miles of Ho Chi Minh Trail to reach crash site and resting place of Rebecca's dad, a U.S. Air Force F-4 pilot who was killed when shot down over Laos 5 decades earlier during Viet Nam War. This documentary was nominated for or won a slew of film festival awards, though critics groaned that her emotional closure mattered more than permanent damage Nixon’s carpet bombing did in locations she visited. To their credit, filmmakers teamed with Nobel Laureate NGO nonprofit Mines Advisory Group to help de-mine along border and save innocent lives. Sick conservative tactics during 1960's made a lifelong impression on Labann.

Return to Earth (Colin Jones, Darren McCullough, Darcy Wittenburg, dirs., 2019) presents a joint Shimano and Trek vision of big air over Moab single track and Oahu volcanic moguls featuring star MTB riders.

In Brit rom-com Finding Your Feet (Richard Loncraine, dir., 2018), Lady Sandra Abbott (Imelda Staunton, known as draconian Hogwarts headmistress Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) takes umbrage at husband’s secret sex affair. She decamps to sister Bif’s (Celia Imrie) housing project flat. Bif admonishes her, “It’s one thing being scared of dying, Sondra. It’s a whole different matter being scared of living.” She begins to drop her defenses and open herself to new experiences, like riding a London Boris Bike.

Ami-Ami, aka (Girl)Friend (Victor Saint Macary, dir., 2018) has Vincent (William Lebghil) move in with best friend Nefeli (Margot Bancilhon) and swear off romantic love. Then Vincent meets Julie, which he fears will complicate his open lifestyle with Nefeli riding Vélib' bikes daily around Paris along with ninety-thousand other residents and visitors.

While getting fresh air and sunshine in great outdoors at Rim of the World (Joseph McGinty Nichol, dir., 2019) camp, four awkward kids band together against an invasion of dinosaur space aliens. They’re getting around fine by BMX, but when they receive a key that could save world, they trade bikes for a GTO to traverse last 70 miles to JPL in Pasadena.

Entrepreneur stooge pair Manu (Grégoire Ludig) and Jean-Gab (David Marsais), previously mentioned as stars of La folle histoire de Max et Léon, team again to pull a heist in sun drenched South of France. After stealing a car, they discover a fly the size of a dog in its trunk. Instead of releasing it sensibly, they insanely decide to forego heist and train “Dominique” to rob banks, like a drone with Mandibles (Quentin Dupieux, dir., 2020), thereby hoping to become comparatively rich. Mayhem and mistaken identity find them shacking up with zany villainess Agnes (Adèle Exarchopoulos), where Manu races off on a unicorn lemon squeezer.

The Half of It (Alice Wu, dir., 2020) portrays enterprising teen cyclist Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis), who writes essays for other high school students. Lovestruck jock Paul Munsky (Daniel Diemer) approaches her to write a letter from him to lovely Aster Flores (Alexxis Lemire). Ellie doesn't expect to become his friend, or to fall for Aster. Sure, the girl geek rides a bike; maybe she knows more than all her peers.

PBS documentary Blood Sugar Rising (David Alvarado, dir., 2020) asks, “Why isn’t there a war on diabetes?” Nearly 450 million humans, including 35 million Americans (10%), diagnosed with either Type I (5% of total) and Type II diabetes (95%) face crippling strokes, extremity amputations, fatal seizures, heart attacks, and organ transplants at a collective cost of $350 billion per year. Alvarado covers blood monitoring, dietary changes, and expensive operations, but neglects root causes in sedentary lifestyles enabled by automotive convenience and other seated activities supplanting self propulsion. Ask yourself, “Why aren’t more people going everywhere by bike?”

Hallmark whodunit A Beautiful Place to Die: A Martha's Vineyard Mystery (Mark Jean, dir., 2020) depicts detective Jeff Jackson (Jesse Metcalfe), who was forced into early retirement after taking a bullet in his spine, returned to bike infested island life, that is, until a body washes up and his crime solving creed is challenged. MVPD neglects to compensate him after risking paralysis by battling suspects and solving case. 

Aprés la Quarantaine

Score more credibility for scientists for introducing almost overnight a vaccine against a fatal global virus, because a few individuals, lone pharma insiders and maverick university researchers in Europe and US, against advice and without support, foresaw some rogue nation (China or Russia) would attack rest of world with another influenza variant after several others became pandemics. American small business and workforce, not billionaires who don't pay taxes, fund Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which keep scary samples on hand to draw from despite recent Cult 45's budget cuts, a situation analogous to world trade after the towers collapsed; commerce endured despite efforts to disrupt. Enemies can be domestic and foreign incited by lying leaders. Pandemic mismanagement spawned an ongoing trend of mass shootings, sixty-thousand slain in US over last 5 years. Exactly when will house arrest turn Mar-a-Lago into Mar-a-Gaol? High time to interminably incarcerate perps of highest crime.

Waiting for COVID to disappear is not a sensible strategy. As a child you’ve already been vaccinated against DPaT, MMR, PCV, Polio, and probably HepA&B, Hib, RV, and Varicella; grown up, HPV, quadrivalent influenza, Td and Zoster (shingles). Why wouldn’t you likewise protect yourself against COVID, which has lingered for a year and a half? ADA supports your refusal on rare medical or religious grounds, but lawmakers have already been inoculated, so don’t care if you contract and die. Once vaccinated, you’ll be safer pedaling by bike than pushing a motorized cage, sitting indoors watching media, or walking alongside traffic.

Polarized people will debate anything, from best bikes, to government systems, to mobility methods, to what to eat or wear, to where to live, when to return to “normalcy” (if any such thing will ever exist), whether to get vaccinated at all, yes, rightly so, since these represent core needs, personal risks, and shared experiences. Science isn’t always right; mistrust has been instilled by climate denialists, clumsy consultants, and countless zombie apocalypse cautions. Many arguments aren’t worth joining, but some are if you want to leave languish and find flourish. Maybe a life awaits after a year in this quarantine holding pattern.

With new evidence of turning the COVID corner stateside, everyone ought to have a resolution once it subsides to get out and look around. Other existential threats demand attention, though worst offenders will deflect criticism with irrational personal attacks. Beijing's air isn’t fit to breathe. Soon global warming dismissal, which only preserves profits for a few, will start to displace millions and kill tens of thousands. Resultant flooding of flat land and severe heat and winds will become major deterrents to bicycling, plus increase diseases, such as cholera and malaria. Doing nothing could be much worse than predicted by actual experts, who only look forward into own field, for examples, economics or weather.

It’s not human nature to believe cranks or quacks, except when mainstream customs or medicines only offers a death sentence. Pretty powerful, the placebo effect did alleviate all sorts of illnesses for millennia. Who's to say acupuncture, herbal remedies, or osteopathic "hair of the dog" doesn’t work in some cases. Many FDA approved medicines are grossly misused and wrongly prescribed, a major factor in death and illnesses lately, 70,000 in 2019, about 70% opioid related, some undoubtedly due to pandemic snake oil, in fact, suddenly exceeding motor vehicle accidents, hitherto #3 among ways to die. Despite reservations, science still deserves more trust than shamanism. Nazis sought an occult edge. Necons, their predecessors, make deals with demons to deliver despair and ruin in exchange for immunity and power.

Same applies to news. For decades Labann discounted most media opinions; they got it wrong so often you’d be foolish to trust whatever they say. Real reporters narrate events, not offer advice. Fox News or Newsmax commentators are not trained journalists, some not even college graduates. They are merely biased buskers, meme mouthers, regurgitaters of sound bites, and shills for ultra-conservative power mongers, whose darwinian predation and malthusian logic put personal aggrandizement above community betterment. Delete upon arrival and don’t ever read aggressive and relentless conservative email propaganda. Barely have time to read imaginative and informative copy. Lengths to which they go to dominate opinions proves their manipulative intentions.

But public policy does affect lives, so knowing what’s at stake is important, which is why you might pay closer attention to bona fide journalists. Public ought to be outraged they aren’t getting vital information from official sources that might define live or lose decisions. Conversely, death dealing alcohol, fossil fuels, motor vehicles, opioids, tobacco, and weapons are minimally regulated and widely available, while dangerous and illegal drugs are barely interdicted. Sex trafficking, slavery, and smuggling remain billion dollar enterprises with daily casualties.

Is America in trouble? Because of regressive Republican administrations since Nixon, citizens owe $100 TRILLION, individually $290,000, not counting local, municipal and state debts that double figure. Pandemic not only bled and displaced millions of workers, it exacerbated what everyone has to repay. US GDP, world’s highest for a single nation, hovers around $21 trillion, but IRS collects less than $5 trillion/year. To get debt free at that rate without other obligations would take 20 years, but debt maintenance (interest and principle) alone eats most of revenue while underground economy siphons community’s cash into offshore accounts.

At any point in near future America could go bankrupt with nearly unimaginable consequences including homelessness, hunger, joblessness, poverty and want; seizures of businesses, farms and properties; suspension of entitlements, social security, welfare; total domestic and international dystopia. Congress just goes on printing money rushing along collapse, while a select few profit. Wealth disparity has never been worse in world history; it’s to the point that money can no longer buy power and loses its value. What could save the American Dream is for citizens to recall anyone in office who thinks they can steal revenue, then tax billionaires out of existence. Since wealth is a finite resource, every billionaire means 55,000 families stay below the poverty line. More people worldwide die from poverty than any other reason, one every 3 seconds.

With so many dire issues, why shouldn’t films reflect bicycling? As Bruce Bennett’s Cycling and Cinema (Goldsmiths Press, 2019, 299 pp.) explains, they arrived together over a century ago and ever since have been intertwined. Bennett explores, “The cinematic history of the bicycle... brings a variety of fascinating, unfamiliar or largely forgotten films into focus alongside some more well-known titles. Cyclists introduced nineteenth-century viewers to three-dimensional cinematic space... the first [commercial] film, La Sortie de L’Usine Lumiére à Lyon, is a cycling film.” It does depict three bicyclists wriggling their way through a throng of exiting studio workers.

Your Show of Shows (Dec. 23, 1950) did a skit with Imogene Coca and Sid Caesar as an Italian couple who steal La Bicycletta from a reunited childhood friend, then try to return for a reward. Caesar was a master of dialect, but only fluent in English and Yiddish; though dialogue was pigeon Italian, audience got gist through his vaudevillian face and hand gestures.

60 Cycles (Jean-Claude Labrecque, dir., 1965) documents 11th penultimate pro-am Tour du St. Laurent (run from 1954-65) between-Montreal-and Quebec on a 12 day, 1500 km course that exceeded distance of grand tours Giro d’Italia and Vuelta a España and rivaled Tour de France. Low budget long shots of curving countryside and open road covered by 60 riders from 13 countries through Gaspé Peninsula were nevertheless thrilling. This National Film Boards of Canada short allegedly inspired camera work of George Lucas, later famous for Star Wars.

A Day Out (Stephen Frears, dir., 1972) is a film treatment of Alan Bennett’s play about Halifax Cycling Club’s ride to the ruins of Fountains Abbey during summer of 1911, which spins an idyllic vision of Edwardian England.

Based upon year of their release, one might confuse experimental 7 minute Bicycle (Chuck Hudina, dir., 1975), Venezuelan 25 minute La Bicicleta (Oscar Molinari, dir., 1975), and made for British television Wilbur and the Bicycle (Neville Green, dir., 1975). Someone should have told Hudina you never look down while riding. Molinari tracks a high wheeler rider, who disrespects a funeral cortege by riding though, and then gets chased by a murderous foot posse, who can’t keep up but still shoot him in the back from a distance. A teen steals his boneshaker, so its ability to enthrall and impact village continues. Couldn’t find Green’s series, but suspect it has to do with Wright Brothers, who first achieved human flight based on their background in bike building.

Five virgin chicks from Cherry Hill High (Alex E. Goitein, dir., 1977) compete to have the most original sexual encounter during a 2-week chaperoned bike tour. Bare legs and double entendres compete with lame acting and lousy production values.


Le Tour de France The Official History 1903 - 2005 (Sean Kelly, dir., 2005) contends that French were the first to race bikes and Tour de France is the greatest physical challenge in sports as well as sport’s most attended spectator event. Might question whether you’ll gain more from 2 hours of bad color and blurry b/w clips and chaotic throngs surrounding struggling cyclists, or 3 hours actually riding on your own.

Joe Kid on a Stingray (John Swarr & Mark Eaton,dirs., 2005) chronicles 30 year evolution of BMX races and stunts through archival footage and contemporary interviews. Bicyclists still regard BMX as an aberration, but they remain ghetto currency and popular transportation despite obvious limitation.

Gulong [Filipino word for Tires], aka The Bicycle (Sockie Fernandez, dir., 2007) depicts Apao (Steven Fermo) and best buddy Momoy (Jopet Concordia), their desires to spend vacation at an uncle’s fishpond, too far away to walk, and desperate attempts to raise funds to buy and old bicycle from a cantankerous woman.

Bicycle Dreams (Stephen Auerbach, dir., 2009) documents disastrous challenge to Race Across America in less than 10 days, as previously mentioned and not to be confused with family film Bicycle Dreams (Raju Gurung, dir., 2014), where two boys come of age in Kathmandu, Nepal. Their dream is an electric blue, 18 gear mountain bike they can’t afford, but a possibility arises in a poster that offers a reward for finding a lost dog. Adventure, obstacles and treachery teach them that enjoying friendship is more important than possessing an object.

Peloton star biopic A Ride With George Hincapie (Anthony Haney-Jardine, dir., 2009) follows Big George over 35 years having pedaled 667,000 miles from Queens, New York during 1980’s, training in NYC’s Central Park, to Paris Roubaix in 2009. Ultimate domestique who started more Tours de France than anyone, Hincapie now hosts an annual Gran Fondo (Big Ride) based on Italian model among US cities enjoyed by recreational and semi-pro cyclists, next in Greenville, SC, on October, 23rd, 2021.

Seattle siblings masseuse Abby (Rosemarie Dewitt) and dentist Paul (Josh Pals) live together in the house they inherited, along with Paul’s daughter and dental assistant Jenny (Ellen Page). Abby’s boyfriend Jesse (Scoot McNairy) grew from bike messenger to local bike shop owner. Entire cast of Touchy Feely. (Lynn Shelton, dir., 2013) live in frustrated funks. Abby can’t seem to move from baffled ennui into her boyfriend’s bungalow. Paul’s emotionless demeanor cost him dental clients. Jenny delivers a loving calzone to bike shop and longs for Jesse’s unrequited touch.

The Dirty Sniff (Dean Dickinson, dir., 2016) highlights more death-defying debauched Bone Deth BMX mayhem and semi-nude nonsense in Portland, Oregon. After all the property damage they portray you can understand why signs sometimes ban bikes. Featured rider Sean Burns later broke his spine in yet another big stunt.

Danny MacAskill quaffs Red Bull and takes a Wee Day Out (Stu Thompson, dir., 2016) on his Santa Cruz MTB amidst countryside near Edinburgh, Scotland in this 6 minute action short.

Historical docudrama My Italian Secret (Oren Jacoby, dir., 2014), narrated by Isabella Rossellini, reveals how during WWII bicycling star Gino Bartali, Catholic priests, doctor Giovanni Borromeo, and other compassionate Italians risked their lives to save refugees and strangers, particularly Jews desperately fleeing extermination by Nazis. Bartali (voiced by Robert Loggia) used training trips to hide secret efforts from family and fascists. Some subjects of Mussolini would never complacently agree to totalitarian rule, just as majority of Americans aren’t Trumpkins whom they oppose vehemently.

Louisa Clark (Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones) finally tells self absorbed beau Patrick (Matthew Lewis), “I hate cycling; you know I do,” and won’t be tagging along on his Viking Triathlon trip in lieu of a romantic vacation, because he puts Me Before You (Thea Sharrock, dir., 2016). Meanwhile, she’s falling for her wealthy boss Will Traynor (Sam Claflin), a paraplegiac confined to a wheel chair. She visits cycling infested Paris upon his dying wish.

Bicyclist David (Aaron Paul) accepts girlfriend Claire’s (Annabelle Wallis) invitation to Come and Find Me (Zack Whedon, dir., 2016), then she abruptly disappears. Using photographs she left behind, he crosses LA on his beater ten-speed into serious trouble.

Icarus (Bryan Fogel, dir., 2017) began as a quest to expose doping in sports, but turned into a geopolitical thriller involving Dr. Grigory Rodchenkov, supposedly a pillar of Russia’s anti-doping initiative but really its facilitator, an Olympic scandal, and uniform cheating to win at any cost. Seems the only thing banned under Putin is truth itself.

Sports melodrama The Little Queen, aka La Petite Reine, (Alexis Durand-Brault, dir., 2014) portrays Quebecois cyclist Julie Arseneau (Laurence Leboeuf), who gets caught hematocrit doping on the eve of World championship under her abusive coach Patrice Robitaille. It was based on the true story of cyclist Geneviève Jeanson, whose career as a professional cyclist was derailed by a 10 year ban, reduced from lifetime by testifying against coach.

Prepubescent protagonist Stevie (Sunny Suljic) of Mid90s (Jonah Hill, dir., 2018) rides his stingray away from abusive brother Ian (Lucas Hedges) and negligent mother (Katherine Waterston) down to local skateboard shop and into all sorts of adult temptations: alcohol, drugs, sex. Doesn’t end well, of course, but could be worse. Does demonstrate what inevitably comes from providing Los Angeleno teens barely adequate sustenance but insufficient motivation during jobless recovery of Reagan-Bush recession. With no domestic policy, consecutive GOP administrations of Bush and Trump caused the Great Recession, and pandemic mismanagement nation’s largest job loss in history. With plenty of time for bicycling, more people than ever now roam aimlessly looking for trouble.

Brad Pitt narrates PBS series e2 Transport (Tad Fettig, dir., 2020). Episode 2 Paris: Velo Liberte explores cultural and economic outcomes of renting bicycles in the City of Light.

CoroNation (Ai Weiwei, dir., 2020, in Mandarin) documents lockdown of Wuhan, China in January of 2020, after 2 months had passed with government misinformation about human-to-human spread. Camera people filmed at check points, hospital wards, and places state built extra rooms to house victims. Mourners burn offerings for their dead family members, then bike or walk off into the night in grief. Cyclists on Flying Pigeons can be spotted throughout on otherwise deserted streets. Not taken into account, China’s tanking economy might lead to further squabbles over Taiwan and world war.

Wendy’s Bag Alert commercial spot tastelessly shows an Asian woman stealing a bicycle to race compulsively for discount fast food. Why has there been no public outcry over racism or theft?