Mint Forebrain

Being called upon to do something outside one’s area of expertise isn’t unusual. Not his day job, Labann’s legacy can be summed up by thousands of pages in hefty volumes documenting a century of culture often traced to origins. Much of it exposes incompetence and malfeasance rather than sings praise in human forbearance. Kick ‘em when they’re down? No, appeal to better natures bestowed. Although B&C targeted bicyclists, they travel lightly, so never took up this heavy load. Though it all fits on a single CD less than 2 ounces encased, it preoccupies billions of synapses that would lay waste any rider’s attentive capacity and sensitive taste.

Regret no inquiry and wouldn’t change any figure of speech. Unless you invent something useful, make a lasting impression, publish a popular book, or share embarrassing details, you’re remembered only by a grave marker (unless ash strewn cremated, lost at sea, or mass interred) or some footnote or list entry from a news microfiche. Born, lived, died, forgotten. Among attention starved wannabes since WWII, protests went from beatnick be-ats, to hippie be-ins, to little man extremists bashing capitol barriers with bike racks. Loud boys leftist anarchists and proud boys rightist terrorists don’t speak for vast moderate majority though they try desperately to divide. Only a hundred thousand humans are jealously vilified or vaguely lionized versus a hundred billion who ever lived. CBS could only muster a list of 151 lost celebrities in a year that will forever be known for mass death, 400,000 Americans to COVID alone, nearly as many as Influenza epidemic a century ago, and a surprising increase in automotive deaths given huge cuts in motorized trips and increase in those biked. 

Break down intelligence: What you find is autonomic autopilot, hindbrain responses, limbic instincts, midbrain processes, and muscle memory carrying bulk of the load, with forebrain functions directing decisions as little as possible, since that expends a great deal of electrochemical fuel. Brain uses more than any other organ. Neglecting proactive action risks earning a reputation as a fool. Explains why many hate to read and repeatedly do self destructive things, let themselves be exploited, and suffer losses. Proper planning prevents poor performance, yet so few behave responsibly, hardly anything winds up within conformance. On plus side, their forebrains are left in mint condition, wear free, worth harvesting if you’re a politician, vampire or zombie.

Energy you expend can be replaced and gets rewarded: Biking long distances, earning wages to save, hiking up a mountain to ski down, paddling a kayak against tides. Anyone who won’t disbelieves allure uttered, while alive slips by and apathy steals vitality, what for, and why. With gyms and schools shuttered, it’s back to fresh air and sunlit reps along icy lanes strewn with fallen leaves in between reads among extensive sheaves and time spent on overlooked movies that each internet search retrieves. Inside the White House, however, president elect Biden will probably pedal his customized Peloton. Who knew he was a cyclist like so many predecessors?

Underscored by Irene Cara hit tune What a Feeling during intro scene of Flashdance (Adrian Lyne, dir., 1983), aspiring ballerina and nightclub dancer Jennifer Beals stylishly commutes on her steel ten speed Motobecane to her steelworker job, where she’s sexually harassed by Pittsburgh coworkers. Chasing a dream is hard work that usually has to happen fast to succeed at all. Never felt completely safe on many a damp predawn commute.

In teen sport flick Rad (Hal Needham, dir., 1986) listed in B&C, aspiring BMX’er Cru Jones (Bill Allen) tries to qualify for Hell Track race run by corrupt promoter Duke Best (Jack Weston) and beat Olympic champion Bart Conner (played by himself) who is sponsored by Mongoose.

High school teacher and wannabe novelist Lance Clayton (Robin Williams) isn’t World’s Greatest Dad (Bobcat Goldthwait, dir., 2009), far from it. When his teen son Kyle (Daryl Sabara) accidentally kills himself during autoerotic sex, he ghost composes an embarrassment saving suicide note, then a fictional journal, which win notoriety and sympathy. Then he publicly confesses causing confusion and dispelling illusion. Kyle’s only friend, Andrew (Evan Martin) bikes to catch Lance and express approval in final scene.

Set in 2092, planet’s last mortal human, Mr. Nobody (Jaco Van Dormael, dir., 2009), played primarily by Jared Leto among others at different ages, has a secret: He can recall any time during his life, both back and forward, including alternative timelines based on crucial pivots. In a late scene he upsets a space ladder that delivers bicycles to the moon, spilling cargo into void.

Testament of Youth (James Kent, dir., 2014) casts Alicia Vikander (bike messenger tomb raider Lara Croft) as Vera Brittain, whose best selling memoir 100 years ago of volunteering as a nurse on WWI front elevated admiration of her as feminist, pacifist, and socially conscious writer. More than a few times telegraph runners arrive by bicycle to deliver devastating news.

Spanish melodrama La Bicicleta (Sigfrid Monleón, dir., 2006) has Valencia couple Carlos and Pilar Bardem deliver an optimistic message about dehumanizing effects of urban developments that ignore bicycling. Same bicycle resurrected by Sancho Gracia, who swaps in components from other bikes in an ecological and sustainable fashion, gets transferred among three owners at different stages of life. Sancho gives it to 12 year old orphan José Miguel Sánchez, but it gets stolen. Bárbara Lennie uses it as a bike messenger, then leaves it with old fisherwoman Pilar Bardem. Cities are living organisms, continuously transformed, and, as Baudelaire said, “The shape of a city changes faster than the heart of a mortal.”

Bicycling comic artist Kent Osborne stars as himself in Uncle Kent 2 (Joe Swanberg, dir., 2106), an unnecessary sequel that mocks movie industry’s feckless reliance on repeating familiar themes to pick audiences’ pockets. Kent goes to San Diego Comic-Con despite worry over The Singularity causing an apocalypse. He remains upbeat, “We’re here, we’re alive, and we should make the most of it.” He pedals in a hazmat suit and on a tandem side-by-side with a female fan Lyndsay Hailey.

School teacher Lucy Taylor (Jodie Sweetin) in Love Under The Rainbow (Tony Dean Smith, dir., 2018) falls for single parent Jack Evans (David Haydn-Jones) of preteen student Sophie (Dakota Guppy) after outings including riding bicycles together around Stanley Park Seawall Bikepath in Vancouver, British Columbia. Chalk it up as another saccharine made-for-television confection from Hallmark channel that has characters chasing delusional rainbows.

Ombres et Lumières (Martin Amiot & Philipe Bellemare, dirs., 2013) is IBike Studio’s 12 minute documentary about Montreal fixie culture. French with English subtitles.

Whoever you are, wherever you ride is Rapha Core’s 5 min inspirational ad (Martin Gilluck, dir, 2016). “Not riding your bike is like a lobotomy.” Perspectives is a multi-sport followup (Christian Woodmansey & Daniel Wieckmann, dirs., 2017) of their China manufactured, London designed, Walmart owned apparel and bib shorts nicknamed Rapha after 1950’s road team St. Raphael.

Huntress (Kelsey Leigh, dir., 2018), a beautifully produced and wildly immersive 7 minutes, has distaff bike messengers plying NYC streets quietly seeking space and sustenance while withstanding sexist comments.

In German crime thriller Cut Off (Christian Alvart, dir., 2018) coroner Paul Herzfeld (Moritz Bleibtreu) discovers a capsule in the skull of a corpse during an autopsy. Note inside shows his daughter’s name and her phone number. Hannah (Barbara Prakopenka) soon goes missing. Similar clues planted on other bodies help him track her to ruins of a Nazi era U-boat bunker on frigid isolated Heligoland in North Sea, which Britain blew up during WWII in the largest manmade nonnuclear explosion ever. Paul conscripts local civilian Linda (Jasna Fritzi Bauer) to assist on the car free island. Plot slowly reveals that serial monster Sadler snatched bicycling child of a vicious mobster triggering a chain of events into which coroner inadvertently gets drawn because he once refused to compromise his principles and testify falsely against Sadler.

It Follows (David Robert Mitchell, dir., 2014) on foot, relentlessly, even when high school senior Jay (Malka Monroe) tries to ride away on a BMX. Wheels are an advantage against this supernatural death threat transmitted by sexual intercourse, but sometimes you’ve got to sleep. This critically acclaimed horror flick taps into date and disease anxieties in a world full of HIV and STDs.

Set in 1936 France, Les Beaux Jours (Jean-Pierre Sinapi, dir., 2003), aka The Beautiful Days, has Gaby (Clotilde Courau) and Mado (Nadine Marcovici) boldly taking nation’s first paid holiday by bicycling to seashore sans spouses, while other spineless young adults fear losing their factory jobs. Gaby wastes a lot of time loudly deriding them for it.

In opening scene of psychological thriller I See You (Adam Randall, dir., 2019) Riley Caya goes gravel biking and suddenly is lifted from saddle into obscurity beginning a series of strange occurrences investigated by sheriff Jon Tenney.

American Utopia (Spike Lee, dir., 2020) has David Byrne and his company performing their acclaimed concert live on stage without typical encumbrances for a more intimate interaction with audience. Afterwards, entire band leaves Hudson Theater to bike about midtown Manhattan’s theater district together.

Centennial biopic Radioactive (Marjane Satrapi, dir., 2020) celebrates Madame Marie Curie (Rosamund Pike) and covers her controversial fame. The only woman to have won 2 Nobel Prizes, in both chemistry and physics, Marie was not only a gifted scientist but a role model for women. When she acquiesces to marry Pierre Curie, they go on a bicycling honeymoon of pure bliss which doesn’t last. As always, ethics must govern how you exploit what you discover. From Satrapi's banned graphic biography Persepolis about growing up during theocratic overthrow of Shah of Iran comes indelible quote, "The revolution is like a bicycle. When the wheels don’t turn, it falls."