“Musycle” Mountain

Labann maintains world’s most comprehensive list of bicycling related songs, including over 2000 to date. No other comes close, contains more than a few hundred, or covers entire world. Over 2 dozen more are listed below. Bears restating, can’t include every song that merely mentions bikes, of which planet has billions, because certain songs, rap genre in particular, toss in b-word to make a nonsensical rhyme, though many others do reveal bicycling in meaningful ways, as shown in examples below. Also don’t cite artists who cover an earlier recording except when lyrics add a unique reference or put a new spin on relevance. While focus is on newly emerging, sometimes old and overlooked tunes unexpectedly appear, usually because they were obscure, regional or unpopular. Didn't include Julie Andrews' Do Re Mi, though film Sound of Music (1965) is often cited for family cycling scene shown.

Pierre-André Gil, Eddy Prend Le Maillot Jaune [French], single, Monopole, 1969 -
About Eddy “The Cannibal” Merckx taking the Yellow Jersey during the Tour de France.

Frankie en de Trillers (Belgian on Monopole label) and Pierre-André Gil (French on EMI label) recorded same three additional songs about Merckx in their respective languages:
Eddy! Eddy!, single, 1970
Eddy Est Imbattable! [French], aka Eddy is niet to kloppen! [Belgian], single, 1971
Eddy en Claudine (in ’T Bed), single, 1971

Sobut, Bicycle [Japanese punk in English], Judgement Crew, Aaron Field, 1997 -
Song can be found at 10:40 in on album 25:07 long. “There was always a bicycle beside me. Everywhere I wanted to go, it took on me. In so much as I had a simple brain, I could always do as I wanted. Gave me the power, gave me the pleasure. Everything exited me in those days. What did bring a wind I wanted to feel? I thought a bicycle brought a wind. There was so good days. Everyday I'd ridden on a bicycle, everyday.”

Steve Seskin, Use Mine [folk], Something Real, self, 1997 -
“I was eight years old, we were poor as dirt. Mom was pregnant with my sister and dad was out of work. I wanted a bicycle to ride with my friends, a shiny Western Flyer in candy-apple red. I couldn't understand why that bike never came, but money can't buy what I got in its place. Dad tied wooden blocks to the pedals of his Schwinn, rolled out that clunker and said with a grin. Use mine, go ahead, take it; what else is it for? I wish I could do more, just go slow. You're gonna do fine, this is what life's all about. Use mine.”

Mac Benford & The Woodshed All-Stars, Freight Train Boogie (Delmore Brothers bluegrass cover), Willow, Rounder Rec., 1996 -
“Casey Jones he was a mighty man, but now he's resting in the promised land. He made the freight train boogie all the time as he rolled down the line... Casey Jones said before he died, ‘There are five more things i'd like to ride: a bicycle, tricycle, automobile, a four legged mule, and a ferris wheel.’” Adding new stanzas to bluegrass songs is common practice. Delmore Brothers’ original 1946 version didn’t mention bicycles, but tune is still a toe tapper. Tempted to add Bill Monroe & His Bluegrass Boys' 1954 Wheel Hoss, but can't be sure what this instrumental is about, likely more homage to steam trains. 

Art Garfunkel, Turn, Don’t Turn Away, Everything Waits to Be Noticed, Manhattan Records, 2002 -
Romantic bicycling vacation goes awry for actor and six time Grammy Award winning singer-songwriter: “Two tears, my own, fall on my collarbone, roaming in shade in the north of France, beneath where her shoulder meet and the rivers dance. Two weeks have flown, like water runs over stone. Bicycle wheels, bicycle wheels through the fields of grain to feel what I have to feel, learn how to speak your name... And it's turn by turn, the wheels on this gravel road tell me what I need to know.” Latest cycling fad is the gravel bike for those who commune with nature by riding hard pack country lanes and loose washboard trails.

The Hold Steady, You Gotta Dance, Almost Killed Me, Frenchkiss Records, 2004 -
“The gangster disciples knocked me off of my bicycle. It was midnight down by Selby & Griggs. I shouldn't have gone down there but it was too late to switch. You gotta dance with who you came with. You gotta go with what got you there.”

Cloud Cult, What It Feels Like To Be Alive, Advice from the Happy Hippopotamus, Earthology Records, 2005 -
“I heard grandpa on my transistor radio, though he turned in his bones twenty year ago. And he said, ‘Kid, there's something that I'd like to show you. Get your things, it's time for us to go.’ So i grab my backpack, and my flashlight, and a bag of caramel corn. I got my bicycle, and the radio, and I headed on the road. I said, ‘I'm ready for what I'm about to see, yepp.’ We headed north 'till the rain had turned to snow through rusty towns and dusty gravel road. He said, ‘Kid, you got a long way to go.’ So i went through canyons, caves, and catacombs, i sailed on bicycle boats. I slept in chapels, and brothels. I met the nicest folks... And I finally realized what he wanted to show me. Where I've been, and where I am, it's the show.” Full concert on youtube; song is at 1:05.

Kate Miller-Heidke, Caught In the Crowd [Australian], Curiouser, Sony BMG, 2008 -
“There was a guy at my school when I was in high school. We'd ride side by side in the morning on our bicycles. Never even spoken or faced each other, but on the last hill we'd race each other. When we reached the racks we'd each go our own way. I wasn't in his classes, I didn't know his name. When we finally got to speak he just stared at his feet, and mumbled a sentence that ended with James”.Teachers point to video as an example of a tolerant attitude, but social insecurities will always make for stupid bullies.

Japanther, Um Like Your Smile Is Totally Ruling Me, Tut Tut Now Shake Ya Butt, Menlo Park Recordings, 2008 -
“To me punk rock means encouraging bikes not cars. To me it means being sad when you can't see the stars... at night! So get on our bikes, ride downtown by the clear channel billboards, tear them down! They say it's a dream. I hope not! It's more than just a dream to me!”

Alpine, Icy Poles [Australian], Zurich, Ivy League Records, 2010 -
“I ride my bicycle around the park. It goes so very far. And the wind in my hair... Oh, it sets me free. Oh, it's okay now. Anything is possible. Be kind, my icypole summer.”

Kevin Abstract, Bicycle [hip hop], Imagination, [self], 2011 -
“Grab that bike and let's ride to a place, you decide, somewhere that fits that vibe... Happiness will arise, but please just let it be. Young kid, don't rush nothing, or nothing's just what you'll see. And you don't want that, no, a place that's so, so cold, where all the lost souls go. It's such a long, dark road.”

Unchain, My Bicycle [Japanese & English], Sundogs, Style-Missile Rec., 2011

Chronixx, Somewhere [reggae], Perfect Key Riddim, DZL Rec., 2012 -
“And I don't know where you wanna go, but I'm willing to take you there. Me nah no if a bike or a bicycle, but baby come mek me take you somewhere... Come with me. So much things to see.”

McSlappy (Tynan McDonald Davis), I’m in Oakland and I’m Riding My Bike [hip-hop], l.o.r.m.b EP, Funky Finger Productions, 2012

Beenie Man (Anthony Moses Davis), Wine Up U Body [Jamaican dancehall], Mad Step Riddim Mix, DJ Frass Records, 2013 -
From an old Kingston friend comes a hilarious enticement: “Yo fashion no cheap like Toyota parts. Yuh no have no clothe weh wi know by heart. Look good in a yo yard and yo hot in a yo shorts...Skin tone pretty and yuh have sex appeal, waist no have rims like bicycle wheel. And yo hands them no rough like yo work in a field.”

Alec Benjamin, My Old Bicycle, single, [self], 2016

Neil Young, Hawaii. Hitchhiker, Reprise Rec., 2017 -
Rare reference from canon of this legendary singer-songwriter and multiple Grammy, Juno and MTV award winner, originally recorded in Malibu in 1976, released finally from archive in 2017: “Things were getting hard to follow. I was feeling pretty hollow, when the stranger came to me and put out his hand. He said, ‘I think we better talk; there's something you don't understand...’ With my baby and my bicycle, I up and rode away. And many nights have passed since this morning came my way.”

Adekunle Gold [feat Seun Kuti], Mr. Foolish [Nigerian high life], About 30, Afro Urban Rec., 2018 -
“Oun gun keke ni railway; you’re riding a bicycle on railway tracks. Awe sofe pare; my friend, you want to die. You carry petrol put for nylon come dey smoke... Fire dey burn, you no dey run. You dey take selfie.” Suggests fatal consequences of riding dangerously and sitting on a sofa excessively.

Karsen, Bysykkel Illustrert [Norwegian instrumental], single, self, 2018

Powfu (Isaiah Faber), The Story of the Paper Boy [Canadian hip-hop], Some Boring, Love Stories, Independent, 2018 -
Oddly produced by rapping lyrics over instrumental Dead Feelings by Moshi. “So what is up? I got newspapers up in my bicycle. It’s getting cold out, feeling like an icicle. It's a new job on my first day. Didn’t wanna be a paper boy, but gotta get payed. Doing what I have to pedal through the wind. Can’t feel my cheeks and the air is feeling thin...Yeah, I hate this shit, but I'll stay with it. I put a smile on even though I'm faking it... I don't talk a lot, I say this and that. But my bars are clean, yeah they spick and span. I feel like I am flying. I don't wanna calm down now... Hop up on my bike again. Going like 22 except minus 10... Keep my mouth shut, so the bugs don't get in.Yeah, I'm kinda starting to like it. It feels good when my work pays off. I'm a nice kid, everyday grinding, but Sunday I’m a take off... I just hit cat. Try’na run away but my tire's flat. Heartbeat racing I’m a keep on paddling. Taking the steady, my breath feeling heavy. This how it goes when you travel the road you’ve never been down before.”

Drens, Bicycle Rider [German “surf punk” in English], Sunny Side Up, self, 2019

Tom Rosenthal, Bicycle Lane, B Sides, Kudos Records, 2019 -
“You are longer than the road, and you will be home so soon. One of you had a thought; it’s time to make the great escape. There’s no sign of cars. You’re in the bicycle lane.”

Casey Abrams, Def [psychedelia], single, Concord Music Group, 2020 -
“How 'bout you say we go for a bike ride? Definitely. Gonna ride my bicycle... wanna see some miracles. Hey, man, There’s a bike path over there. It looks real... Shall we proceed? Definitely. You gotta keep on movin’... (bike pedals, so soothin’.. Gonna ride a little bit longer... and our legs are gonna get stronger.” Abrams is also shown mountain biking in video for Simple Life. “Don’t need no speedy car to get me home.” But he then ditches bike for a jeep to transport his hippie chippies.

Karsen, Bicycle Song, single, self, 2020 -
“I got a brand new bicycle, and it goes ding, ding, and I can ride it where I like... It’s my cool ride. Can you sit on it? I’ll let you know. And it can go pretty far, now lady, to see the places I want to go, meet all the faces that gaze in wonder at the cool stickers and gears I show... And it can go pretty fast, now lady, but I prefer to be cruising slow.“

Purity Ring, Peacefall [Canadian witch house techno duo‽], Womb, Crystal Math Music, 2020 -
“Spoken like a prophet in all your misery. Peace comes at dawn, but yours comes at night, riding your bicycle into the light... Ride like a maniac into the light.”

Rain in Skåne

Latest push for evidence of bicycling culture began as a pastime during quarantine, but has escalated past obsession into full time occupation. But do a hundred more examples keep notion pristine? Have discussed how bikes add smarts and sparks to health food ads and pharma sales spots. Figure they might sell joint medicines to cyclists with bad ankles, backs, feet, knees, and wrists by showing aged others happily riding despite pain that exists. There’s no question once into your 70’s you’ll take these drugs if it will help you move freely, but they condemn champions and strip titles for same reason among twentysomethings, as scandalously documented in Icarus (Bryan Fogel, dir., 2017), which won an Academy Award. Movies untoward push bikes on kids as if a gateway drug to automotive addiction. You are born a creature with feet without extraneous conveyance predilection.

Neglect can exceed naked aggression in lost lives and ruined property. Amidst government confusion an ammonium nitrate stockpile blasted Beirut, cost billions, and killed hundreds. If you don’t exert yourself physically off and on your job, hydrate religiously, monitor conditions, and rest judiciously, your bag of bones, flab and fluids atrophies into a sickly blob and heart explodes. A cycled half century under 90° loads becomes nearly impossible for any coasting and panting slob. Global warming increasingly confines jaunts to early morning’s same old haunts. Leaves lots of air conditioned hours to address exploratory taunts.

Swedish experimental short film Hämta en cykel [To Fetch a Bike] (Roy Andersson, dir., 1968) stars a morose Monica Löf and pensive Pierre Bené. They wake early after having slept together. Following a minimal breakfast they get his bicycle stored in the attic above his brother’s cold water flat and part ways. He has to get to work, so she saunters off into an existential vacuum of meaningless modernity.

Twenty years later for Icarus Films young Scot actress Tilda Swinton exclusively by bike toured West Berlin’s border alongside its infamous Wall, documented in half hour short Cycling the Frame (Cynthia Beatt, dir., 1988). Goal was to experience poetically its psychogeography. On film’s twentieth anniversary, after Swinton had already won an Academy Award, they decided to team again to retrace this 162 km route where Wall, once graffiti laden yet hardly acknowledged as if a taboo topic, no longer exists, documented in The Invisible Frame (Cynthia Beatt, dir., 2009).

Bicycling trio Bean (Martin Delaney), Chip and Sumo are self proclaimed Peacekeepers, members of an exclusive club. Bean’s dad, science professor McNeil, aka Gadgetman (Jim Goddard, dir., 1996), is also an inventor, but his clever device gets him kidnapped by criminals, who want to use it for ATM robberies. Dad installed jet packs on Bean’s bike, which enable him to outride Cyber Rats bicycling gang and spring dad from captors. But Bean’s girlfriend Frankie and dozens of Cyber Rats create a diversion when McNeils need it most.

My Teacher’s Wife (Bruce Leddy, dir., 1999) is Vicky Mueller (Tia Carrere), whose abusive husband might recommend high school senior Todd Boomer (Jason London) for admission to Harvard University. Having an affair with her wasn’t at all advisable, wrecks his relationship with buddy Faber and girlfriend Kirsten, yet Todd rides his hybrid bike back to Vicky's studio for math tutoring and more as if a moth to a flame.

In a remake of H.G. Wells’ classic The Time Machine (Simon Wells, dir., 2002), Alex Hartdegen (Guy Pearce) hurtling forward into future stops briefly to reveal conditions in May of 2030. New Yorkers who aren’t flying in space cars are mostly bicycling and walking surface streets, except those who’ve begun adapting moon for underground condos. By 2037, after too aggressive tunneling, moon breaks up, which destroys earth’s surface, with bikes strewn haphazardly about burning wreckage. While time travel raises all sorts of physical impossibilities, it has been repeatedly linked with bicycling as a metaphor, such as going backwards to a simpler era. If you remain stationary in space-time, you’d drift off surface of earth as it rotated, planet continued to orbit sun, and sun orbit galactic center. Very accurate chronometers aboard space craft show that the faster you go, the more time slows. After a long journey an astronaut would be much younger upon return than her/his twin sibling, or even younger than offspring, if Einstein’s relativity, conceived while bicycling, is to be believed.

Twelve-year-old Ryan (Bryan Parkes) spending summer with astronomer dad Ned (Thomas Garner), doesn’t get any attention since dad was promoted. Ned compensates by buying Ryan a new bike. He meets three kids his age: Carlos (Wolf Bradley), Kyle (Graham Spillman), and Lisa (Callie Waterman). Kyle invites Ryan on a bike ride intending to embarrass him on a hilly course, so he avoids them and rides alone. When he comes home, pet retriever Jupiter is missing, nowhere to be seen. Resolving their differences to find lost pet, kids form Bike Squad (Richard Gabai, dir., 2005). Collecting evidence by bike, kids break case by following two bumbling dognappers (Michael Vaccaro and Michael Olifiers), who’ve sold Jupiter to Mr. Jackson (Michael McConnohie) for lab experiments.

Modern Indian Muslim girl living in San Francisco, Beena (Melanie Kannokada) is Bicycle Bride (Hassan Zee, dir., 2009). Struggling under thumb of a domineering mother, she hopes to overthrow old school tradition of arranged marriages. Seeing couples riding bikes, she recalls mom’s prohibition, “Bikes are for boys. Girls don’t ride bikes.” She literally bumps into a white Swedish bicyclist James (Andreas Wilson) from state college she longs to attend, who teaches her how to ride. She then sabotages every suitor visit her mother sets up, so they can live happily ever after riding through Golden Gate Park.

To middle class Scot debutante Emma Morley (Anne Hathaway, Academy and Golden Globe Award winner), rich playboy Dexter Mayhew (Jim Sturgess) quotes a proverb involving 9th Century Bishop of Winchester, “St. Swithun's day [July 15th], if thou dost rain, for forty days it will remain.” One Day (Lone Scherfig, dir., 2011) covers 18 years of these feast days that they spend apart or together. Too bad she doesn’t love bicycling comedian Ian (Rafe Spall) the needy slob with whom she lives. After finally ending up happy with Dexter, Emma on her bike exiting an alley is fatally t-boned by a London bus on a rainy July 15th in 2006. Dexter’s in for rough emotional weather, as are all characters in Dogme 95 productions in which Scherfig indulges.

Micro-documentary from Malmö, Skåne County, covers women entrepreneurs who invent The Invisible Bicycle Helmet (Carl Fredrik von Gertten, dir., 2012). Device, worn like a collar, inflates like a car air bag. But is it practical? Skåne is replete with thousands of bicycling routes among nearly half a million kilometers of dedicated lanes, fine ways to segregate cyclists from motorists during short Swedish summer, but to reach a destination roads must still be shared. Seems a crime E20 Öresundsbron to Copenhagen doesn’t allow bicycles, but a segment of Europe’s longest span for both motor vehicles and trains is submerged, so hard to see how that would work. Passenger train allows bikes for a fee, and supposedly there’s a seasonal bike ferry.

Set in 1993, 20 years before date of film’s release, The To Do List (Maggie Carey, dir., 2013) is what high school valedictorian Brandy (Aubrey Plaza) compiles as pre-college chores designed to catch up with missed fun and to ditch her perfect image. Being so organized was how she rose to top of her class. Biking through the Big Bun takeout lane wasn’t an item among them. With Aubrey’s awkward and cringeworthy persona, got to expect an R rated chuckle fest. What a delight she is!

Not to be confused with Adventure Boyz reviewed below, The Adventure Club (Geoff Anderson, dir., 2017) consists of 3 school kids - Bill (Jakob Davies), Ricky (Sam Ashe Arnold) and Sandy (Dalila Bela) - who bike around suburban Regina, Saskatchewan so much that without bikes there’d be no story. Ricky’s mom Jane Young (Gabrielle Miller) runs a science museum founded by her father, an archeologist in the mold of Indiana Jones and reputed recoverer of lost mystical objects. Ricky, eager for excitement, discovers a key and map to what he thinks might be a hidden treasure. It turns out to be an ancient wishbox, which grants a holder who’s “pure of heart” 3 wishes. Ricky hopes to save his family’s museum, but there are those who'll stop at nothing to have this box, in fact, enlist a rival gang of cycling kids to steal it. As these family movies go, this one has decent production values.

Adopted Detroit teen Eli Solinski (Myles Truitt) bikes to scavenge copper wire from abandoned buildings, where he finds a powerful alien weapon. Using it to protect his ex-con brother Jimmy (Jack Reynor) from villain Taylor (James Franco) triggers a signal to its owners, his actual birth KIN (John and Jonathan Baker, dirs, 2018) from another world. Mayhem ensues. Not even an edgy score composed and performed by old friends Mogwai could raise critical acceptance and ticket sales.

Teen son James (Lucius Hoyos) of Phat Tire bike shop manager Randy Nash (Tyler Christopher) finds lovable, one foot tall robot F.R.E.D.I. (Sean Olsen, dir., 2018) in a back pack while hiking in woods near his Bentonville, Arkansas home. He wants to keep this Future Robotics Engineered Design Innovation for an artificial intelligence pet, like E.T., but has an impeding move to Tucson and school science project to complete. Corporate security agents are desperately searching for this robot, programmed to analyze and avert safety hazards through telekinetic capabilities, before its power cell explodes and incinerates everything within village. Gang of kids on bikes lead gasping agents on bikes on a merry chase after they tase dad, who wouldn’t cooperate with questioning as to son's whereabouts. Why they abandoned SUV makes little sense. Teens return robot to Dr Palmer (Kelly Hu) who wants to keep its technology from being used as a weapon.

Emulating motorcycle racer dad Mike Harris (Howard J. Ford, dir. and star), towhead Adventure Boyz (2019) Jake and Sam (Felix and Rory Ford) tear about on their BMXs after dad gets framed and jailed for stealing diamonds. Ability to read lips aids their search for evidence to clear him. Capacity for eluding capture comes from biking around neighborhoods and vicinity which dad had urged instead of spending so much time playing virtual games on electronic devices. One must take physical risks to thrive; bicycling in particular nicely serves that prescription. Such films portray doltish adults schooled by schoolboys. Given so many supposed grown ups act as if emotional infants, including some in highest office, soothes to hope next generation may somehow evolve.

Tall Girl (Nzingha Stewart, dir., 2019) protagonist Jodi (Ava Michelle) is a teenager whose 6 foot plus height makes her insecure and self conscious at Ruby Bridges High School in New Orleans. Dunkleman (Griffin Gluck), a student in her class who always carries a crate, asks her repeatedly for a date, but she declines any request from suitors too familiar or short. Tall Swedish exchange student Stig arrives to stay with Dunkleman, but Jodi's nemesis Kimmy (Clara Wilsey) tries to lure Stig away when she assumes Jodi would be interested in him. Still chasing Jodi in vain, Dunkleman on his bike collides head over heels with a parked car.

Bully Kazakhstain

Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander), Tomb Raider (Roar Uthaugh, dir., 2018): Foxy Londoner as fixie messenger.

After watching so many movies, have begun to question if filmmaking is such a benevolent enterprise. Trillions of dollars invested in mere entertainment certainly circulated cash, inspired audiences, provided diversity, and sectioned economy. But how much better might society be served if that amount was devoted toward curing issues of clean water, climate, energy, food, health, and housing? For example, average temperatures globally have increased for each of last 6 decades because of fossil fuel use and wars fought. Could it be that enough has already been wasted on what you’d deem responsible endeavors?

Giant broadcasting networks spend billions on shaping facts gathered by real journalists and scientists by spinning them into selfish narratives. What’s the point of confirming facts for liars and murderers to misuse? Fox News consistently shores up sinking GOP by conflating stories from other sources; in fact, now that control is slipping through rich Republican fingers it creates a lucrative opportunity for them to lie. It’s hard to see how many swallow such propaganda, but without truth anything goes. More voters are Independent (36%) and unrepresented than either Democrats (32%) or Republicans (30%), that is to say, fully aware other two deceive to exert influence and set policies that only suit their own agendas.

Macho possession, milk money extortion, and wedgie torment only describe classic bullies. Unfortunately, such social aberrations continue into adulthood, business management, parenting, political office, and presidency, where they become a horrid examples for youth and enable worse behaviors. Aryan nazis and supremacist tyrants were bound to rebound once a black individual was elected commander-in-chief, whose first thought wasn’t to pick a fight. Only a morally bankrupt poser would consider a war as a good way to consolidate power or get reelected. Even if you saw it coming, you’d probably assume you couldn’t do anything to prevent. Unless you take a personal stand against, bullies will create tragedies and ruin lives. Labann made up for neglecting to report emerging bicycle culture, particularly in films and songs, when other sources only enumerated not explained their relevance, and tied them into socio-political trends.

B&C described dramedy Rushmore (Wes Anderson, dir., 1998) in which eccentric teen Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) and industrial tycoon Herman Blume (Bill Murray) trade vengeful acts including Herman intentionally running over Max’s bike with his luxury sedan, and Max riding a beater replacement to his plant to cut car’s brake lines, for which he’s arrested but unrepentant. But a Youtube clip has since appeared that sums up these scenes. Lately herein tried to limit coverage to 21st Century.

Costume dramas, cowboy westerns, crime thrillers, romance fantasies, slasher romps, and space epics usually disappoint as sources of bicycling culture, but coming-of-age stories, family time tales, and human focus flicks often yield relevant references, though you should sometimes expect pabulum for plots. For example, The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens (Mark McNabb, dir., 2008) has an 11 year old protagonist biking about Spirit River, Alberta to fulfill his destiny as a third generation wizard. Critics rate it and sequel Billy Owns and the Secret of the Runes (2010) among the worst films ever made, schlocky ripoffs of Harry Potter franchise. Effects were not at all special.

In Cheney, WA, inventive paperboy Owen (Luke Benward) flings deliveries via a bespoke launcher mounted to back rack on his bike. Bullies and dogs attack, but he disengages using boobytraps and dog biscuits. Gem thieves roll into town and so commences the Diamond Dog Caper (Mark Stouffer, dir., 2008). Owen’s high pressure tennis ball cannon made out of bicycle scraps holds off their siege of his hilltop tree fort. Chief bully gets his comeuppance when thieves, racing out of control in a rowboat on wheels, inadvertently chase him on his bike off street into a dumpster.

Dawn (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and Peter O’Neil, their daughter, and three sons live under The Tree (Julie Bertuccelli, dir., 2010) that towers over their home. Peter suffers a fatal heart attack and, while dying, crashes his pickup truck into it. While Dawn grieves, oldest son Tim (Christian Byers) takes charge. Neighborhood busybodies arrive, so Tim has to take bike to school. Crones urge Dawn to engrave family name on belongings, “Haven’t you noticed those boys riding bikes up and down the road lately?” as if evident they intended to steal TVs. Tim bikes to apply for a part time job. Daughter Simone (Morgana Davies) begins spending a lot of time up in tree’s branches, then convinces mom that the ghost of her dead dad can be heard high in its canopy. When Dawn begins to rebound with a new love interest, tree retaliates.

As did fictional news photographer Peter Parker and late street fashion photographer Bill Cunningham, Labann reports freelance. Cunningham advised, “If you don’t take money, they can’t tell you what to do, kid,” which is liberty at its supremely expensive essence. For decades freelancing to the New York Times, Bill only took a job with them in 1994 for health benefits after being struck by a truck while biking about, which is how he could perch at the no parking intersection of 5th Avenue and 57th Street and pursue insights into what real people wear. A documentary on his body of work, Bill Cunningham: New York (Richard Press, dir., 2011), doesn’t reveal the bulk of it, which has never been published. Nice to think a Boston born, mad hatter, vital octogenarian also biked, not just children who dominate this latest post’s reviews.

Supermarket greengrocer with Downs Syndrome nicknamed Produce (David DeSanctis) spreads his uplifting attitude among Louisville townsfolk not so challenged but who’ve created own demons in alcoholism (is set in Kentucky) and despair. Produce rides his bicycle to work, but gets knocked down later by vindictive coworker Colt who he turned in for shoplifting. Major League ex-player Cal Campbell (Kristofer Polaha) tries to take Produce under his broken wing, but instigates more trouble for him than encouragement or recognition. A bourbon soaked texter collides with and nearly kills him, but a hospital ICU is Where Hope Grows (Chris Dowling, dir., 2014) for those who survive. Kudos to Dowling for casting someone actually developmentally challenged in a starring role, the first in an English speaking feature film, who nevertheless does an award worthy job.

Set in Taiwan (what aggressive, imperial PRC bizarrely believes still belongs to them), To the Fore (Dante Lam, dir., 2015) stars bike team leader Eddie Peng and love interest Wang Luodan. Admit to not having actually viewed this Hong Kong Cinema film with an actual story, great racing footage, and lovely scenery dramatizing vicious cycling competitions. Was submitted but not nominated for an Academy Award, which usually depends upon many westerners having viewed. YouTube trailer had less than 50,000 hits after 5 years online, which suggest insufficient interest.

Quentin Jacobsen (Josiah Cerio as a boy, Nat Wolff as a young adult) has hots for miss across his street Margo Spiegelman (Hannah Alligood as a girl, Cara Delevingne as a young adult). Kids instantly bond and inseparably ride bikes, but grow increasingly distant through high school. One night Margo surprises “Q” for a night of pranks against betrayers. Then Margo disappears leaving a clue about where she may be, in one of several Paper Towns (Jake Schreier, dir., 2015) that cartographers add to maps to curtail copyright infringements but remain undeveloped and unpopulated. Q and pals decide to embrace adventure and solve mystery.

All for One (Dan Jones & Marcus Cobbledick, dirs., 2017) documents building Orica GreenEdge, an Australian international peloton team, from 2011 to 2016. Emotional and insightful coverage of major European races probe what decisions, efforts and sacrifices riders and teams must make to ever hope to stand on a winner’s podium. Features inevitable Phil Liggett commentary, and jumps between cheerful and cringeworthy.

India Hair plays a stubborn Quality Assurance Specialist at a French automaker in Crash Test Aglae (Eric Gravel, dir., 2017). When operations are off-shored for labor savings in country of India, employees are given Hobson’s choice of moving for less pay, own relocation costs, and worse conditions, or taking a lousy severance package. Compulsive about her contributions, Algae heads to India with two sympathetic coworkers. Their puttering subcompact gets passed by a group of geriatric cyclists. Companions give up on journey before they even leave Europe. She forges on alone, hitchhiking after car dies, sneaking into Ukraine, then stealing a bicycle in Kazakhstan and a motorcycle in Tibet. She collapses, and two tykes on bikes with a junkyard trailer cart her unconscious body to a dump on Indian border, where she’s miraculously rescued. Company, embarrassed by her ghastly ordeal and lost finger, decide to keep French plant open after all. Although broke and pregnant, she quits after realizing how this quest has freed her from limiting herself to a disposable cog in someone else’s greed machine.

Supposedly grown up friends still chase martial arts sensei Jeremy Renner (Marvel Avengers’ Hawkeye) in a 30 year game of TAG (Jeff Tomsic, dir., 2018), which occurs the last weekend of every.May. Not even suave Jon Hamm can lay on finger on Renner, who has always evaded his four rivals, never been “it”, and outran them on foot when they chased on bikes. Recalls famous Forest Gump scene. Sounds so ridiculous it could only be based on an actual case.

Gamble (Aaron Bartlett & Joe Bowman dirs., 2018) portrays dramatic mountain biking clips in rapid succession as top X-sports talents speed down single track slaloms specially prepared to kick up dust and look super dangerous. Narrated by cockney actor Alan Ford over heavy metal and punk soundtrack including Arctic Monkeys’ From the Ritz to the Rubble, Adverts’ One Chord Wonders, and Black Lips’ Raw Meat, all of which sort of describe how abused and advertised Mongoose and Santa Cruz bikes beat riders back. Klunkerz riders who invented mountain bikes did all this without disk brakes and shock absorbers, though they had to repack bearings after each downhill run.

Macho bully Ivan (Diego Delpiano) terrorizes schoolyard and whoever even talks to Sveva (Clòe Romagnoli), who he calls his girlfriend despite her adamant denials. Teacher Paola (Paola Cortellesi) breaks up his fight with Riccardo (Francesco Mura). Ivan’s gang later ambushes Riccardo, but he eludes and outrides them, only to witness Miss Paolo being kidnapped. After Riccardo summons urchins to crime scene, they discover that teacher is secretly 500 year old Befana of the Legend of the Christmas Witch (Michele Soavi, dir., 2018). After supper, these three and three more set out on their bikes to save her and holiday of epiphany. Having damaged some on Italian Alps terrain, these tiny heroes tie bikes together into a sailing ship. Villains dump bikes and them into a compactor, which they narrowly escape.

“Did anyone disclose to anyone where we’re going?” “It’s only five miles. We’ll be back before lunch.” So begins a group bicycle quest for Alex and two new friends trying to decipher what The Mysterious Note (Richard Aguilera, dir., 2019) means that they found in basement of hardware store which Alex’s dad is auditing before foreclosure. Nice new mountain bikes are left behind when road only slightly bars traffic. Just as well; they get trapped in an abandoned fallout shelter and have to be rescued by luck and prayers. Characteristic of these Christian based, low budget homilies, bad dialogue, heavy handed plot, and poor acting chase away audiences and raise critics’ hackles.

Popular comedy Good Boys (Gene Stupnitsky, dir., 2019) got 80% from Rotten Tomatoes, further evidence that saintly isn’t human and venial amuses more effectively. Max (Jacob Tremblay) and his naughty friends get ready for their first teen party, where they expect to kiss girls but don’t know how. So he uses his dad’s drone to spy on girl next door when not riding bikes with his best buddies on other preparatory capers.

Northern artist Harry Spence (Brad Worch II) ventures down to Charleston, SC on business, welcomed by belle Betty Lane (Lauren Swickard) offering Southern Comfort (Ryan Gregory Phillips, dir., 2016). Fairy tale romance turns into a nightmare. At one point, helping a friend’s son to get home, riding along a quiet road, a jealous suitor in a monster truck runs Harry off and tacos kid’s front wheel. He carries busted MTB through a cornfield and encounters a Ku Klux Klan scarecrow, but later repairs ride so kid can again deliver newspapers. Prejudice damns him as metrosexual Yankee scum, but he’s really popular Academy Award winning child actor Spencer Hayes grown up, who’s trying to research a potential movie role. His big shot news reporter brother interviews him throughout to capitalize on his adventure, but Spencer is actually secretly exposing him as a Pulitzer plagiarist.

Circus et Pane

Excerpt from Joe Meno's novel Office Girl, Bohemians and Young People on Bicycles Doing Troubling Things (Akashic Books, 2019, 224 pp.): "Odile Neff, art-school dropout, age twenty-three, rides her green bicycle along the snowy streets of the city that evening at five p.m., arguing with herself. She is wearing one gray sock and one black sock and her faint-pink underwear, hidden beneath her long gray skirt, is dirty. It is January 1999, one year before the world as everyone knows it is about to end. Communism, like God, is already dead.”

No matter how much you tout its benefits and joys, bicycling bundles in adversity and pain. It’s a circus guaranteed to annihilate or entertain. To inveigle rabble and snow job mob, Roman Empire would stage deadly contests and toss loaves of bread into stands. Not much has changed. These days, instead of gladiators, bloodlust demands sacrifices of drivers on highways, while distressed DOTs wring hands over safety delays; you supply bread. In fact, pro-cycling change (avoids as much per mile, 70 cents, as it costs to enable motoring) is already mandated by law and easy to accomplish given legitimate leadership. But it only takes one aged alcoholic with Alzheimers in high office to screw hundreds of millions. If you think things in USA couldn’t be worse, last week in Pakistan an American was executed for blasphemy, defined as disrespect for a totalitarian religion. Unless you are going to live by your own code of conduct based on proven equations, you settle for probabalism of clerics’ ethics and experts’ persuasions.

A two minute burst ages ago from a drug addled narcissist seems hardly worth noting for posterity, yet there are thousands of them on record, more than a score below, evidence of longstanding oppression. Usually the more effort one puts in, the better final products satisfy, but not always. Of nation’s 250,000 plus known musical groups, only a small percentage summits. However, to neglect revealing any from anywhere as they appear would be inappropriate. Plus you might find one that actually resonates with you. It’s one reason B&C was begun, as much about culture as cycling. Virtuous generosity of mere mention or unsolicited praise could be its own reward. Disgust articulated assists those whose patience has been stretched beyond reasonable limits.

Riccardo Cocciante, In bicicletta [Italian], Cocciante, RCA, 1982
“Cycling unhurriedly on Sunday morning, while I'm falling in love.” 

Katrina and The Waves, Riding My Bike, Shock Horror!, Aftermath Rec., 1983

Half Man Half Biscuit, A Lilac Harry Quinn, McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt, Probe Plus, 1991
Cryptic lyrics summed up with, “Sturmey-Archer Campagnolo on my mind.” A love attraction gets triggered by someone holding a bike while standing in line.

Nemo, Bicycle Called Love [Belgian], Bicycle Called Love, Brinkman Rec., 1993

Cruiserweight, Elephant, This Will Undoubtedly Come Out Wrong, self, 2001
“I was taken just the other night to the circus show... and what a magnificent sight it was. But inside my heart, the glamour was fading. What the world needs now is to take this blindfold off. Was I lied to? 'Cause this question's been suspended but it's catching up with you. I can't believe it... Was I betrayed? Oh, to my dismay! So confined, he confided that nothing ever made his eyes shine at the circus show - where did all the happiness go? And if you think the world is a bicycle built for only you, well, brother, this big top, no, it never seemed so low.” Maybe a minor reference, but major relevance about what’s happening right outside your door, where you hesitate but long to go.

Tahiti 80, Open Book [French in English], Wallpaper for the Soul, Minty Fresh, 2002
“Looking back, it's always the same vicious circle: You fall in love like you'd fall from a bicycle. And everybody's walking in slow motion. You don't, you can't control your reaction. You should try, because you may burn your wings and crash to the ground. It makes you wish you were lost and never found. But you feel your face is blushing now. Your eyes are like an open book. One can tell everything from the way you look.”

Hot Chip, You Ride, We Ride, In My Ride, Coming on Strong, Moshi Moshi Rec., 2004
“Bicycle tire to guide me, a light in the night I can't walk towards the street has a dark end that's ours no more, a light in the night we can't walk towards.”

Woods, Kid’s Got Heart, How to Survive + In The Woods, Release the Bats Records, 2007
"I got time. Let me take a ride to the county line and get high away from all the prying eyes. I got a bicycle, and I got some time to kill, and I got a hundred reasons to make a living will, and tell a lie to make myself feel good inside. But no one needs to know the kid's got heart and his heart smarts. No one really cares who you are or who you think you are. Well these be sad times and we got real fears. It’s a bad time for ringing in a new year."

Peter And The Wolf, The Bike of Jonas, The Ivori Palms, Whiskey & Apples Records, 2007
“Nothing to talk about. I'm just gonna ride to work it out on Jonas' bicycle. Just cruising with the wind in your hair, when you ride this machine you truly are the mare. Flying down the road and dodging all the drunks left over from the night before.”

Bye Bye Bicycle, Meridian, Compass, Bonjour Recordings, 2009

Gerry Dempsey I’ll Cycle My Bike [Brit], single, self, 2009
“I'll cycle my bike wherever I like, under the radar, and over the dyke.... We’ll thread through the traffic, cut up the cars. We'll ride over the pavement and under the stars... We’ll perform loops and wheelies in the British Museum. We'll play Wall of Death round the Coliseum... We'll cycle in silence over glistening sands, over cities and forests in strange foreign lands. We'll gaze at our children, our parents and friends. And we'll wave to our loved-ones,’Look Mum, no hands!’"

Binder & Krieglstein, Fahrradlied [Stryian in German], New Weird Austria, Essay Recordings, 2010
“If I want to go somewhere, I ride my bike. That brings me to my destination faster... I love my bike. Cycling is low in pollutants... There are far too few wheels pollutant-free and low-emission. We cycle against traffic jams... I save a lot of time. Unlike the police, I prefer to go free of fine dust. If you overtake us, keep a minimum distance...”

Mirel Wagner, No Hands, Mirel Wagner, Friendly Fire Recordings, 2011
“I have been riding my bicycle all day long up and down the old dusty dirt road. Look, mother, no hands. See the sun filter through the trees. I am happy. Feel the wind and the speed, can’t see the danger. Look, mother, no hands.”

Binder & Krieglstein, Die Jungs [Stryian in German], Jugend, Earcandy Recordings, 2012

Joel Rosenberg & The Funnzies, The Bike Song, Come ride with me, single/video, self, 2012

Bibanu (Dan Popescu) feat. Carlito, Bicicleta [Romanian hip-hop], single, DopeFILM Records, 2017

Binder & Krieglstein, Stadtrad [Stryian in German], Trommeln der Nacht, Cooks Records, 2018

Jan Paternoster, Chef Van De Peloton [Flemish], single, Studio Brussel, 2018
Comedy on the Pavé, a stationary cyclist sings a chorus with attitude: “In Mijn wiel houde Gij dat geen uurke vol, ’K Zen de Chef van de Peloton Op souplesse Rijd ‘K ik recht naar de horizon.” [On my wheel didn’t keep up for a full hour full, K Zen, Head of the Peloton, on my flexibility ride straight to the horizon.]

Peirson Ross, Bicycle Song, The Alchemy of Fire - Songs to Benefit The Ojai Valley, Helpful Humans, 2018

Anna Anawalt, Bicycle Brent Song [Christian folk], single, self, 2019
Tribute to friendly bicyclist Brent Carpenter of Logan, Idaho.

Kruegers Randgruppe, Fahrradsong [German], Bonanza deluxe, Timezone, 2019

Lammass Wiccane

Some plants and trees grow lammass leaves to replace those lost to pestilence. During global pandemics humans might burn to repopulate planet. Makes sense. On August 1st, Christian calendar coincides with Wiccan Wheel of the Year. Loaf Mass Day tithes harvest of wheat to church, while Lammass handfasting binds two betrothed witches together. Both were already lost rituals before being within 6 feet of each other came with a Surgeon General’s warning; make that 30 feet for bicyclists without masks, who intercept airborne particles faster around every corner. Grateful folks relish abundance of fresh summer fruits and veggies. One defines intelligence as adaptability to whatever envelopes you, mostly strife over harvests versus enemies. Suggests motives for merciless misuse and power abuse, for example, how King Herod, reacting to St. Peter’s being freed from chains by an angel and heading right onto Rhoda, killed blameless captors.

For centuries stories idolized adventure and violence, pandered to patronage or wealth, or represented the best and worst of talents and urges, typically with selfish agendas. Hard to discuss greatness or mediocrity of cultural artifacts, since they merely reflect collectively whoever you associate with them. Even so, internet searches for bicycling movies and scenes provide articles that rate instances with false consensus. Hacks who write them just copy one another. It’s as if a few were inadvertently culled and sanctified as sacrifices. Thousands more apposite get passed over. With so many contending for attention, less than half of films even return their investments in ad placements, ticket sales, video rentals, and whatever produces profits. Popularity will never be the measure of mastery. Artistry lies in not exposing its artificiality but projecting authenticity and reality.

Dr. Mercer (Harris Yulin) sends discredited cryptobiologist Mr. Dempsey (Ted Danson) on one last mission to Loch Ness (John Henderson, dir., 1997). With latest electronic gear, he’s resigned to disprove The Monster as a hoax and drink beer. Toward end of his 5-day stay, madam innkeeper’s (Joely Richardson) young daughter (Kirsty Graham) strikes a bargain with him; she’ll show them to him if he’ll buy her a red bicycle. He agrees, and she does (made lifelike by Jim Henson). True to his word, he keeps creatures an unsolved legend and returns with promised bike on board with hopes of calling inn his home having formed a strong bond with mom.

Sat through a plotless hour of bikers on BMXs and fixies doing dodgy stuff To Live and Ride in LA (David Rowe, dir., 2011) along its decidedly unfriendly streets designed specifically for motorists. One bicyclist on a limited access highway between high speed lanes shames horrified viewers as nervous newbies, although you sense it’s such stunts that cause bulk of fatal bike accidents. This is so typical of examples that Google searches provide: Doping exposés, racing action, or reckless abuse that attempt to stereotype riders as drugged, drunken or obsessed losers and senseless risk takers. With 60 million American bicyclists, every demographic is represented, including BMX kooks, commuters avoiding gridlock and subways, intrepid tourists, kamikaze messengers, license revoked recidivists, mamils chasing wamils, middle aged affluents, peloton training teams, savvy teens, school kids, tired retirees, those too poor to afford other means, weekend sportifs, young adults, zealous activists. Each have a right to every bit of pavement unless banned, not confined to broken shoulders, derelict parks, unswept gutters, or wooded trails. Don’t be surprised behind your steering wheel when one passes you. For perspective one might look back to documentary Taken for a Ride (Jim Klein, dir., 1996), which exposed General Motors malicious plot to eliminate competition from mass transit and foster dependency on automobiles, not only in LA but throughout nation. It led to anti-road protests, freeway revolts, highway removals, and relocations underground.

The Runway (Ian Power, dir., 2011) is a dramedy based on fact set in 1983 rural Cork, Ireland. Precocious bicycling delinquents Paco (Jamie Kierans) and pal Frogs (John Carpenter) have set up their own SETI station for seeking Spielberg’s E.T. using electronics they’ve swiped from merchants and townsfolk when they aren’t abiding bully abuse or breaking abandoned windows. Paco actually finds one in downed Colombian pilot Ernesto (Demián Bichir), who has run away with a fortune in emeralds. Anticipating his dad unlikely return from Spain, Paco had been learning conversational Spanish, so acts as translator and convinces town to help while serving own needs. They fix and refill plane and, to get it airborne, pave a tarmac runway.

In an oil deprived dystopia, where residents must bike or walk, everything is seriously Upside Down (Juan Solanas, dir., 2012) for Adam (Jim Sturgess), who falls for Eden (Kirsten Dunst). A decade later, when he learns she survived a real, seemingly fatal fall, he embarks on a quest to restore their relationship. Only thing, Eden and everything from her half of this binary planet obeys an opposite, potentially deadly gravity. Otherworld interaction is forbidden by law. She also has amnesia, so remembers nothing from before accident including him. What do filmmakers have against Ms. Dunst, who routinely gets battered or beaten in every script?

Juliana Betancourth stars as Columbian bicyclist Virginia Casta (Claudio Cataño, dir., 2017). Says unseen narrator, “I’ve always loved movies. I found them a portal to another world, another life. I was amazed.” Most only save a few frames of their lives as memories, usually the least enjoyable ones. Commuting to office cube and shopping in downtown Cali, Virginia cruises about on a ballon tire, blue colored, girl’s basket bike, often on crumbled sidewalks, which cause her to tumble. Driving aggression on nation’s streets was well documented by Bogotá mayor Peñalosa. A nightclub session of restroom sex leaves her pregnant, but, recently bereaved of her mother, she can’t go through with an abortion. Dancing in street, reveling in life, she run down by a texting motorist. Three years ago too few wore condoms, never mind masks. Not enough to fit one on, it must be kept clean, not be touched during use, which makes contagion contact mouth and nose, and wash hands frequently and thoroughly. Furthermore, you have to disinfect anything you bring into your home, especially groceries or mail, and stuff you repeatedly touch, like car latches, doorknobs, shifters, steering wheels, even take shoes off before entering. Yet world today is not so very different considering ongoing prevalence of worse diseases: Hepatitis C, HIV, STDs, Tuberculosis, and whatever else displeases.

Four Australian tourists - Angus Morton, Justin Diamond, Patrick Drapac and Sami Sauri - teamed up to explore Outskirts: Route 66 (Angus Morton, dir., 2018), including what culture still remains around this iconic High Street from Chicago to Los Angeles completed nearly a century ago but fallen in spots to feral ruin across 8 states, 2,400 miles, spread through 3 time zones. Luckily they had motel reservations and vehicle support so rode light without bags for a month on road. “Bicycling... can’t escape it. It’s a drug in itself.” Cross section of characters they meet paints a portrait of basically good but pathetically ugly Americans.

Jochen Mesle and Max Kroneck do Aussies one better as they bike between Ice&Palms (Philipp Becker, dir., 2019, headed south in spring from German border through The Alps to sultry Nice, France. Their itinerary crosses mountain passes, hikes alpine trails, and skis favorite peaks, at one point with their bikes on their backs. They sleep in tents totally unsupported for their month on, well, only occasional roads. Took a while learning how to handle bikes with a load unbalanced by bindings, boots and skis.

Ginger tween bicyclist Gerda Lie Kass discovers she’s not only a Wild Witch (Kaspar Munk, dir., 2019, Danish dubbed in English), but the one destined to overcome an evil plot against nature. Is she Denmark’s answer to Charmed one Alyssa Milano? Black cat Oscar intentionally cuts her off to spark her recognition that he’s her familiar animal friend. If being coven’s most powerful entity is no match for some kid trained to breath right, you might choose another avocation. It’s the Harry Potter snare designed to catch gullible childish unaware, since adults aren’t so easily dazzled and don’t care. Not like witches aren’t repeatedly linked with bicycling (e.g., Anathema Device, Wicked Witch of West Oz) ever since this freedom machine disenthralled women from household drudgery and emboldened them to take their rightful place in society. Patriarchy could never relinquish control so readily, would kill to intimidate half of society.

A documentary on positive ecological practices to ensure a Tomorrow (Cyril Dion and Mélanie Laurent, dirs., 2019) focuses on automotive overthrow, conscript representatives instead of elections, distributed agriculture and manufacture, energy alternatives (geothermal, solar, water, wastes, wind), local currencies (slows cash exportation), manual not oil based farming, permaculture, subsidized composting, transportation alternatives (bike, bus, trains), urban planning, and vegetarian over meat based diets. Surprisingly, some cities, fed up with multinational oligarchies, have long since adopted, though all merely revisit 1960’s with Whole Earth and Woodstock Nation. Each was described and endorsed by Bike&Chain over a decade ago. After designating more pavement for self propulsion, 67% of Copenhagen residents now bike, take mass transit, or walk, which improves city lives exponentially. Economist Jeremy Rifken explains, “[With too much atmospheric CO2] we are now in real time climate change... The whole water cycle of the planet is thrown off... violent winter snows, more dramatic spring flooding, more prolonged summer droughts, severer hurricanes... Our scientists tell us, on all the studies, we are now actually in the 6th extinction event of life on Earth. This is the most important piece of news the human race has ever had... There have only been 5 extinction events in the last 450 million years where there has been a wipeout of life. And it comes quick... death on a mass scale.” On another 100° day amidst burnt out gardens, one wonders how much heat it will take to wipe out biosphere entirely, or whether it’s already too late to remedy. From the soundtrack, Leonard Cohen in 1987 foretold, “Everybody knows the fight was fixed The poor stay poor, the rich get rich. That’s how it goes... And everybody knows that the Plague is coming... that it's moving fast... Everybody knows the scene is dead, but there's gonna be a meter on your bed that will disclose what everybody knows. And everybody knows that you're in trouble... what you've been through... Everybody knows it's coming apart. Take one last look... before it blows.”

Along those lines, documentary Motherload (Liz Canning, dir., 2020) describes the cargo-bike movement. Hundreds of people testified how they replaced their cars altogether with electric assist and manually pedaled units that fuse a bicycle with a trailer. “I just got groceries on my bike!” For those long sold on an automotive paradigm it sound like some amazing revelation, when, after all, cyclists with backpacks, baskets and panniers have been doing this for centuries. Biggest problem is all bicycling supplies produced on other side of planet arrive by fossil fuel means, so just increase carbon footprint unless they curtail motored miles by half or more. Moms making an exceptional trip doesn’t save planet, but it might be a start toward going daily for fresh air and bread.

Taking it to ultimate is Pedal (Scott Hardesty, dir., 2017) about video diarist Hera van Willick who lived the dream of life by bike entirely borderless and mobile. She spent a decade traveling through 43 different countries calling wherever she was home. Since COVID outbreak, US citizens aren’t permitted to enter 33 other nations, not that they were ever welcome in many anyway. You never know when a dream suddenly gets indefinitely suspended.

Clever YouTube video covers lyrics of Queen’s Bicycle Race by collecting movie clips related to each crazy phrase, many bicycling scenes previously described, others unrelated to bikes, and some never mentioned, e.g., Malèna (Giuseppe Tornatore, dir., 2000), who’s every boy’s sex harassment and every woman’s jealous gossip in 1941 Sicily. The last cited was Coen Brothers big budget flop Suburbicon (George Clooney, dir., 2017). Gardiner Lodge (Matt Damon), beset by gangsters, races away from a fire bombing on a kid’s bike. Loosely based on an 1957 instance of racial integration of all white Levittown, PA, it shows supposedly decent folks behaving badly throughout. Only Damon’s son Nicky (Noah Jupe) survives mayhem.