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Monday, March 24, 2025

Spilt Champagne

“President he’s got his war; folks don’t know just what it’s for. Nobody gives us rhyme or reason. Have one doubt they call it treason. We’re chicken feathers all without one nut. Goddamn it! Tryin' to make it real compared to what.” - Eddie Harris, Gene McDaniels, and Les McCann, Compared to What, Swiss Movement, Atlantic, 1969... album certified gold and song covered by 270 other performers.

Le Demi-Fond was once a 100 kilometer velodrome event where “the big motor” paced “the stayer”, that is, motorcyclist created a slipstream for drafting bicyclist running huge chainrings to reach speeds up to 124 mph. A popular spectacle from last century, it was inherently dangerous with track competitors and spectators killed and maimed until officially banned in 1994, though something similar is still how bicycle speed records are made on salt flats. Somewhat echoes e-bikes today, which quicken pace so each ride averages 3 to 5 mph faster. Riding bikes used to mean mere spinning; with e-bikes that becomes e-moting, because you frequently have to react in a panic and try to spin faster than motor boost, typically paused at 20 mph, to conserve charge for final segment on tired legs. Although sprayed champagne celebrates podium wins, spilt wine portends disaster. There’s no glory in top speed to which a cyclist strives, just a blur among crowds desperate for fresh air and smidgeon of exercise as Spring season finally arrives.

Level of being admired at zero percentage, aggregator Labann generously marches on never wanting to address attention needy POTUS insanity and wishing current term to be over permanently. Tired of turds dominating words downing out every voter democratically. “Halfway through”, demi-term election might overthrow oligarchy advantage. News used to be idea provoking specifics, not obviously vicious lies, gamely negotiated politics, not gas lit by wise guys. Where’s public outrage upon this perilous stage? Witch hunts describe going after officers doing their jobs who stood in your way when you committed a crime. If you keep misapplying and violating laws, you will be impeached and indicted every time. Whence and whither congressional counterbalance? Court rulings can only compel law abiders; marshals are their sole contempt enforcers if judges take a stance.

American People for nearly a century have long been the bulwark against wanton homicide and a stabilizing influence worldwide. Amagastan dupes don’t inherit this reputation. Christian Nationalists say, “Be charitable to yourself first,” in other words, stuff your pockets at someone else’s expense, even to where others perish or suffer for your greed and predation. They don’t know recipes for stone soups. Homeless beggar Christ amassed no coinage as a carpenter and fisherman, performed miracles and served strangers for free, for which he was crucified and interred penniless in donated linen and tomb by way of example on how to live divinely. To opposite extreme, Mango Mussolini is marching an army of mercs and orcs out of his lair, Mordor Lago, to murder mankind, spill blood, and wreak havoc. Slashing cybercrime mob surveillants, law enforcement agents, inspector general operatives, and national security staff leaves both them and you less protected against megalomaniacal psychopaths who’d burn planet and torture infants for a laugh.

Ruining how agencies run creates dissatisfaction meant to pave way to privatization, falsely reputed to improve efficiency. Taxpayers, which excludes many billionaires who evade paying, have invested literally hundreds of trillions in buildings, equipment, infrastructure, and workforce training. Consider post office with facilities and vehicles (Bezos drools), or military with jets, munitions, tanks, vessels, and weapons (Dumbo tools). Social Security (nobody’s fools) has $3 trillion in a trust fund you amassed. Fort Knox stores your tons of gold treasure, increased in value to $300 billion, enough to reduce public debt if liquidated. Unelected villains want to hand it all over to cronies to exploit for profit, leave citizens impoverished, raise service costs, and rob you blind. You’re already paying millions to Nicaragua to inter a few hundred deportees not even indicted while stateside prisons remain full of convicted perps. Tariffs have nothing to do with encouraging domestic production; champagne only comes from France, as do thousands of other goods impossible to copy and only made abroad. It’s all a reality show for the cluelessly gung-ho, not sensible policy for vast majority.

Administrative decisions of late have been met with abject horror among three quarters of population. Not one campaign promise has been fulfilled, and vile edicts are being carried out despite federal court injunctions against. Conservative congress decided to cede their power as a coequal branch of government and let Felon 47 do his damnedest to destroy democracy, exploit war power act to deport without due process and stay in office, and target potential domestic enemies including political opponents and press reporters. How can half of supposed representatives support such unconstitutional injustice? Cowardly congressmen listened to advice not to answer questions or conduct forums. That’s admissible evidence of their violating oaths of office to stand for constituents. A quick fix would be to recall them individually from state to state, which would reverse curse of a slight GOP majority. Investigative journalists hold public officials accountable and shine a light on acts unlawful; otherwise, democracy dies in darkness.

When SCOTUS ruled in favor of Citizens United, it enabled billionaires to buy congressional seats among both major parties, call shots as they please, and determine all policies. Before oligarchs seized control, government had sustained many popular participant programs - Affordable Care, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Supplemental Nutrition - that a succession of Republicans since Reagan wanted to crush and divert funds from held accounts into hands of the richest few. Temptation to smash and steal was just too strong for self indulgent legislators and their stink tank lunatics. Brian Tyler Cohen argues, “This feels like betrayal... We are desperate for fighters... If this crop of elected officials won’t, then people are going to elect new ones who will.”

Make great again for whom? Criminal kleptocrats, crypto schemers, goon squads, greedy oligarchs, privatizing congresspeople, shrewd whores, storm troopers, white supremacists, and yes men. Everyone else will be banished, deported, or targeted. Better watch your back and pack a go-bag when you have to escape, especially congressionally appointed judges forced to follow constitution who block autocratic playbook, or dissidents and opponents to unitary executive rule. “You don’t impeach judges who issues orders you don’t like... Debate makes this country great,” said senior senator Bernie Sanders. Unless as slaves, there’ll be no quarter for Asians, Blacks, Indians, Latinos, seniors, or women. Sorry, MAGA-mob, you were literally sold a big perverse joke and a pig in a poke. Have to have faith they’ve miscalculated effects of mistreating military veterans and public servants, two groups who own lion’s share of nation’s war tactics and weapons expertise. Would not want to take on these patriots in any fight, especially ones that threaten their families.

Voter remorse? “I been a bad, bad, bad man... Remember the time when I eat you up? Yeah, I was a lie that you can't give up. If I was to cheat, oh no, would you see right through me? ...How you like me now? How you like me now?” The Heavy, The House That Dirt Built, Counter, 2009

To whom do you turn? Liam Turner (Robert Timothy Smith) ineptly scribbles a dyslexic Dear Santa (Bobby Farrelly, dir., 2024) letter to North Pole, but transposes characters and winds up with a visit from Dear Satan (Jack Black) from North Lope, who offers him 3 wishes for his soul. Black’s character turns out to be a demon on probation, not Prince of Darkness himself. In another such switcheroo, you got a convicted serial con man instead of a Leader of the Free World. “Slow down, Lance Armstrong,” says school crossing guard (Cate Freedman) to nemesis teacher Mr. Charles (P. J. Byrne), whose midlife crisis has him riding a racing bicycle about town on Christmas Day. They agree to go together for Chinese food, though he rethinks asking her to sit on his back rack, so they stroll instead.

Not all romances conclude happily ever after. In favorably received Netflix series One Day (Luke Snellin, dir., 2024), Episode 13, Dexter Mayhew (Leo Woodall) and Emma Morley (Ambika Mod) are an engaged couple in 2000, 14 years after they met in Edinburgh at their graduation ball. Having crossed paths for years, they are now planning their wedding. Dexter looks to open a café. Emma’s is about to publish her fourth novel. After a spat, she leaves Dexter an apology note, saying she still loves him and that she'll be five minutes late for their realty appointment to view a honeymoon house. On a rainy Saturday, Saint Swithin's Day, a careless motorist knocks Emma off her bicycle, and, despite wearing a helmet, she dies; foul weather must follow each day for next 40, according to folklore and screenplay.

Bicycling culture among contemporary Navajo Nation is the subject of documentary In The Dirt (T. C. Johnstone, dir., 2023) in conjunction with New Mexico non-profit Silver Stallion, where youth learn bicycle handling, mechanical repair, personal empowerment, and specialty coffee skills.


Dick Wolf’s scripted drama Law&Order: SVU, Season 16, Episode 4, Holden’s Manifesto (Jean de Segonzac, dir., 2014), portrays bike messenger and ignorable incel Holden March (John Karna, shown), who avenges his narcissist ego by murdering women he’s convinced wronged him by ignoring his awkward advances. Detective Amanda Rollins (Kelli Giddish) and Sergeant Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) have to ferret out and take down this serial slayer. Story is based on real life case Elliot Rodger's Retribution resulting in Isla Vista Killings of same year. Over 25 years, program has won 46 awards including 6 Primetime Emmys.

Pivotal scene in blockbuster musical Wicked (John M. Chu, dir., 2024) has fondling Elphaba Thropp (Cynthia Erivo) and Prince Fiyero Tigelaar (Jonathan Bailey) by bicycles spiriting off a lion cub in a basket that Oz (Jeff Goldblum) wants to cage along with all other animals. Harks back to original when Ms. Gulch put Toto in her basket. Creature mistreatment sets her on course to becoming Wicked Witch of the West. Though cut off to be continued before story concludes, this Wizard of Oz prequel was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won 2.

Big budget sci-fi bomb The Electric State (Russo Brothers, dirs., 2025), beside being among the most expensive movies ever made, takes on dystopian interface between artificial and human intelligence, but wastes many acting talents. Foster teen Michelle Greene (Millie Bobby Brown, Stranger Things. shown) channels previous role while battling evil tech CEO Ethan Skate (Stanley Tucci), bicycling about to muster a posse, and bringing back her comatose genius brother during a civil war instigated for profit in data memories. If not for bad character development and weak plot, you’d think audiences would identify with made-in-China “Tesler” boycott backstory, and react to EV insult reversal as hypocritical irony. Not masochistic enough to enjoy fiction so close to current events?

Friday, March 14, 2025

Baleful Wain

“I see you got your list out. Say your piece and get out. Yes, I get the gist of it, but it's alright. Sorry that you feel that way. The only thing there is to say, ‘Every silver lining's got a Touch of Grey.’ I will get by... I will survive.” - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, 1987

To stay authentic and topical today’s writers must surf ahead of a tsunami of social insanity within a tyrannical tube of factuality. They have to assess advertisements, arts, blogs, books, broadcasts, documentaries, edicts, interviews, manifestos, movies, music, newscasts, podcasts, poetry, posts, rap, speeches, TikTok, tweets, videos, vlogs, and what’s not even on this Sisyphean list while investigating in person both an artificial and natural world, specific spaces at times, either eager to commit murder and devour your corpse. No bubble or force field, only cloth, grey matter, leather, or lycra to protect, it’s hard for anyone to say for sure, if at all, what preserves one’s inner self from threats out there. While being absorbed, ingested and inhaled, world in turn swallows you whole, simultaneously bestowing and taking, crucifying and forgiving, furnishing and suffocating, punishing and rewarding.

Labann’s mission has always been to encompass all of bicycling culture, monitor sources as new examples emerge, and show how items interconnect. Too often lately that involves baleful reports of political smackdowns, such as a POTUS proclamation trying to reverse NYC’s smart and successful Congestion Tolls. For GOP, state sovereignty only applies when it suits their own hypocritical lies. Often here cited public datasets are disappearing; all hail fascist efficiency that funnels public treasures to billionaire parasites! Low class cowards and thugs attacked Palestinian Muslims during Ramadan, then extorted neighborly Canadians because they think they can. No Russian mobsters have been deported. Gitmo has no promised alien detainees. Government services are disappearing. Inflation worsens daily. Stock shares are tanking. Poles are doubling their army expecting a Russian incursion. Is WWIII on its way? News you can lose? All deter civilian bicycling.

Anyway, The Douche is in the White House, and Duffer’s on vacation, golfing again, while true men from founding fathers to honored patriots are rolling angrily in their graves. What FDR said echoes loudly, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Cruel and devious modus operandi define criminal sociopathy. Farm wains upon which they loaded Black Death casualties and fallen soldiers (“sold yer” out with huge cuts to veteran benefits and jobs) have been superseded by flat beds and trailer trucks for next inevitable Grey Death. Wailful days upon us warrant brown study and frown melancholy.

About time for a direction reversal: Hope of renewal springs eternal, thus perennial Easter festival. “Those trips a-wheel before the break of day, the pause to hear the morning songsters sing, the break of fast on berries by the way, the thirst assuaged by kneeling to the spring; The drill, the race, that memorable run, Quixotic like, in search of conquests fair - Each ‘joyed event returns like Summer sun, to warm the chillness of the Winter air.” - S. Conant Foster, A Midwinter Reverie, Wheel Songs, Poems of Bicycling, 1884

Not all bicycling memories melt into gratitude or warm your soul. How about brand new leather saddles before broken in or frozen fingertips throbbing as if seared by molten steel? Always attempted a last spin before weather set in for real, especially in winter when snowfall chases you home to stay until sun and wind strip streets of black ice and white depth, then watching out window day to day for another chance while trying to judge which bits of apparel will work under an ever varying conditional array. It’s an anniversary worth celebrating when single-ply short sleeve jersey and spandex shorts suffice. But paying the price panting between baking sun and grilling asphalt that waft watery mirages and wondering if you’ll complete course before wholly exhausted still haunt and menace, what Rachel Meltdown does to your typical MAGA clown. Self’s amuse abuse, or folly hobby, seems bombastic onanistic or depressive obsessive to someone else’s mentality.

Mary Mensana (Amanda Seyfried) is pregnant widow of a would-be environmental terrorist and rueful parishioner at First Reformed (Paul Schrader, dir., 2018), on eve of rural church’s 250th anniversary, where Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) serves as pastor to whom she rides her bicycle for emotional support. As an aside, a man does say Fred in reference to stodgy cyclists devoted to riding classic but outdated steel models such as a Peugeot Super Competition or Schwinn Varsity. This grim drama about climate despair, doctrinaire politics, hollow ceremony, and reproductive rights won Critic’s Choice Male Lead award for Hawke; screenplay was nominated for an Oscar.

Not finding a lot of new bicycle songs from dispirited Americans, composing still on wane, as previously described. Do note Europeans compiling abridged Youtube playlists, such as one from Germany of which only some of those not previously mentioned are listed below chronologically by release date. Interesting how France and Germany now stand together backing Ukraine’s resistance to Russia’s aggression after USA’s betrayal of democracy despite interwoven diversity and widespread mutiny of its citizens.

John Manchester, French Bicycle Music [piano instrumental], Blue Sky, Omnimusic, 1985

Beppo Küster, Ich fahre Rad [German pop], Bitte nach Ihnen, Amiga, 1986

Wolle Kriwanek Band, Mike (Mit dem Mountain-Bike) [German rock], Hot Wollé, Bell Records, 1992

M. A. Numminen, Fahrradfahren ist Notwendig [German, “Riding Bicycle Is Necessary”], soundtrack from short film Polkupyörällä ajaminen on tarpeellista (Sökö Kaukoranta, dir., 2000); commemorates 450th anniversary of Helsinki, Finland. Depicts a grey day with Numminen singing song beside riding on back of a bicycle being pedaled along a slushy roadside.

Spieltrieb, Fahrrad fahrn [German pop], Ohrrangement, self, 2008
“How do I feel? Of course, it rhymes with free. Whatever comes and happens can't touch me, because I have my song... There are a thousand ways to ride a bike, whether endurance, fast, downhill, or on the track. One thing is certain: you'll burn calories, and next summer you'll shine with a dream figure. Only what you eat is your fuel, and you're gliding along.”

Pat C, Klapprad [German], single video, self, 2010
“I ride a folding bike around the area; no reason to get upset”

Pratterino, Bicycle Song, Old Bicycle, Pär Strandberg, 2011

Souljah, Was mein Fahrrad angeht [German], single video, self, 2011
Bikecentric remake of the autocentric MoTrip song similarly named; if you sold God’s benefices, ecclesiastical privileges, or pardons it was once condemned as heretical simony, but now it’s the sole jam of Christian Nationalists loyal only to opportunist oligarchy.

Kommando Zurueck, Velociped [German hip-hop], Back from Out of Space, self, 2012

KraftKlub, Mein Rad [German], In Schwarz, Universal Music Group, 2014
Americans can related to this angst of loss plentiful evidenced, “My bike is no longer here, it's gone, that's what happened. But why is it now with an idiot like you... who sees things and just takes them like a stupid child?” Answer: Kleptocrats addicted to greed.

Anthony’s Putsch, King of the World, single video, self, 2014
“Won’t you grab that bike, please take me for a ride, and see that I’m King of the world! There is nothing I'm afraid of, mama, only the howling of the wind.” Right! Citizens of a democracy are collectively king, not some orange shellacked combover thing.

Infallet, Cykelhjälm Cykelhjälm [Swedish in English; group name means a “Sudden Whim”], single video, self, 2014
A helmet is stylish, the ultimate swag, no? “No pain, no gain. It’s a place to put your brain.”

Binyo, Fahrrad [German], Der Steg ist das Ziel [“The jetty is the destination’], self, 2015

The Rotaries, Bicycle Girl, On the Outs, self, 2015

Dota Kehr, Rennrad [German pop], Keine Gefahr, Kleingeldprinzessin Records, 2016

Maybebop, Lust auf Fahrrad [German], single, BMG, 2016

Moop Mama, Die Erfindung des Rades, M.O.O.P.Topia, self, 2016
“You are a miracle of nature on a miracle of technology, your round body contour, carefree and casual. They talk, and shout, and gesticulate, hands off the steering wheel. Sirens and horns are only for you, because you roll like a gangster.”

D.U.M. Enterprises, Fahrradtrack [German hip-hop], single video, self, 2018

Peelander-Z, Bike Bike Bike, Go PZ Go, Chicken Ranch Records, 2018

Günter Nüssle, Das Liegerad [German], single video, 2019

Nico Suave, Von Hamburg bis zum Meer [German pop], single video, Hamburg Marketing, 2019
“So many corners, so much to discover, on my bike... I’m never stuck in traffic. I pass you with a big smile.”

The Dirty Nil, To the Guy Who Stole My Bike, F*ck Art, Dine Alone Records, 2020
“I hope it serves you well. I hope the brakes don’t seize, when you’re riding down the hill to hell.”

Mr. Rose, Radfahren [German pop], single video, Problembär Records, 2020

Requisite, Bicycle, Rusty BBQ Demos EP, 1943896 Records DK, 2020
“Next time you offer me a ride, I might decline. I’d rather ride my bicycle.”

Severin Groebner, Rentner auf E-Bikes [German for “Retirees on E-bikes”], single video, self, 2020

Estéban Cortez, La-La-Lastenrad [German, “Cargo Bicycle”], single video, self, 2021
Going backwards by pedaling? Isn’t fuel is too expensive?

Kadeja, feat. DieZelle, Bike, single video, PZK, 2021

Treptow, Nachts auf dem Fahrrad [German heavy metal], single video, self, 2021
“On the bike at night in Berlin... There’s room for you on my luggage rack; I'll gladly take you anywhere. Who needs a taxi?”

IFHT fea. Matt Dennison, New Bike Day, single video, self, 2022
“Got kicked out, got fired; wanna do stuff but I’m too tired. At least my mother’s proud of me (no, she’s not). But it’s new bike day, and I can’t be broken... I get to ride. I might be broke and alone, but there’s rubber and chrome... I feel alive... Can’t afford to fix my car, but I got shiny handlebars.”

Mike Ständer Band, Fahrradfahrn [German], Zweites, self, 2022

Blondie & Iris Wallaschek, Mein Rotes Fahrrad [German, "My Red Bicycle”], single video, Chromatics Entertainment Studios, 2023

Alex & Lukas (A. Diosegi and L. Brennecke), Radlerhymne [German hip-hop, “Cycling Anthem”], Schiffbruch, self, 2024
“Leather saddle padding and the pedal crank made of gold! The chrome rims measure an impressive twenty-six inches. Yes, then annoy a few passers-by with your exhaust. Hey, we'll pass you if you look out at us while you're filling up.”

E-Aldi, Fahrrad-Punks Not Dead, single, self, 2024

Vielleicht Emma, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, self, 2024

Tuesday, March 4, 2025

Tsk, Tsk, Tshwane

For some wordsmiths a blog is a small business, but not Labann. All of Bike&Chain’s nearly 3,000 pages are ad free and open source, so not-for-profit, though not worthless exactly. From 2008 until 2021, dropped 20 to 40 posts each year; since pandemic, shared less than 10. Sounds like slowing down, but some posts quadrupled in length, because they covered more complex issues affecting bicyclists after deeper dives, and those interesting times they curse you to live in have now come with a clown car of callous and corrupt incompetents in control consumed by depraved, illiberal, mean, sordid and uncultured policies.

When you discuss generalities you make little sense. When you offer instructional specifics they’re too dense. Yet entertaining parables and formulaic fables get revered, even if generally fictitious or situationally factual. Truths have to apply all the time everywhere, may cause anger or generate fear, but unless they predict how to take advantage few readers care. Prophets are defined after the fact through any self fulfilled act. Busy bees believe divisive buzzes, forget their allegiance pact. Big topics present many perspectives that criminals and ignoramuses ignore. But assessing self in world then disclosing what’s discovered is bound to bore.

Small business is America’s largest private employment sector, 46% of workforce, often conducted from a backyard garage, home basement, or kitchen table. Government is nation’s number one employer, not unlike most industrialized countries. Economists have always agreed that severely reducing either will cause a global depression. Among wage earners, whether they serve badly or well, more will always be better, because 80% of corporate projects are fulfilled by 20% of those assigned, while transacting paychecks as widely as possible fights desperation and despotism. Who’ll pay IRS their $6 trillion in annual revenue? The top 1% will get obscene tax cuts, while former tax payers will be collecting short term unemployment benefits. Their math doesn’t add up, and might inspire a filing moratorium or voter recall of congressional fascist minion.

Trains, behemoths compared to also made from steel bicycles, require lots of steam to get rolling, like honking up hills by bike, but both are remarkably efficient otherwise, because they absorb kinetic energy. Same momentum applies to economy. Republican recession sent record public debt into stratosphere and stranded nation at station until democrats returned to invest in workforce and restore normalcy to keep on rolling awhile. According to Harvard sociology professor Mathew Desmond, if only top earners paid taxes they owe, poverty across country could be cured.

Now on revenge tour, unsatisfied with domestic terrorism with thousands dead from random shootings, tactics too slow setting factions at each other’s throats, tearing coalitions asunder, and walling off restoration with insurmountable obstacles, why not confiscate bank accounts and property? China and Russia still need trillions to wage war against Africa, Europe, India, Taiwan, and USA. Allies are dumping treasury notes in massive numbers. Cryptocurrency, computer based Ponzi schemes contrived to launder crime loot, plunged 27% since inauguration; bit coins will never deserve strategic treasury reserve. Tariffs bar imports and try to strip America of its territorial resources. Citing waste deterrents, this bash and grab really betrays citizens and innocents. Social Security has always been separately funded, 4 trillion on account good through 2040, and has no effect on future obligations due to fewer babies being born and recipients living longer, false flags, because expectancy has dropped and population has grown from legal immigration by tens of millions in short order, lies exposed.

Gangster DOGE denigrates civil servants, some of whom work at home, which surged during COVID to prevent contagion but was customary for many feds not limited to deployed reservists, enforcement agents, and FEMA coordinators. Telework decongests highways, put boots on the ground to respond quickly, and saves enormous amounts of fuel otherwise wasted during pointless commutes to cubicles; likewise, bicycling. Big Oil has GOP in their pocket and hates efficiency that impacts their bottom line, especially bicycling. Not the only reason, 9 to 5 on-site attendance also makes it easier to target and terminate beltway bureaucrats. Chainsaw change in no way improves, just deals death, decimates families, and disregards needy. Two out of three citizens disagree with these cuts, but their representatives in congress bend a knee to ruling oligarchy.

Climate crisis directly threatens food supply. It increases capricious tornadoes, excessive heat, severe hurricanes, and unexpected floods that destroy crops and kill livestock. Latest administration denies problem, has withdrawn from Paris Accord, ridicules efforts to deal proactively with its effects, and sacrifices family farms, a large segment of small business employment, when serious savings could be had by ending pork barrel contracts to defense suppliers and subsidies to gas and oil giants setting record profits. Why not demand repayment of this corporate welfare? Or seize state control of refineries and utilities? Furthermore, NOAA and USDA layoffs make foods less safe from bacteria, fungi, parasites, poisons, pollutants, toxins, viruses, and weather cataclysm. Roadkill Robbie advises gleaning whatever you can from auto collisions and ignoring taboo against cannibalism.

Since every act so far by new regime destabilizes law enforcement, expect criminals to test degree of lawlessness with which they can get away, greater for them every day, until rioters loot small businesses, as did Pretoria’s political protesters in 2005, 2016, and 2023. Tsk, tsk, when a party acts unilaterally and attacks majority trouble occurs for which guiltless survivors pay. Homeboy Lumberjack Muskrat is still a South African citizen, having emigrated temporarily to Canada in 1988 from Jacaranda City to dodge military draft. Along with co-president, he figures military service is for losers and suckers. Indigenous residents with motto, “We are the same,” put such apartheid racists and presumed betters behind them by renaming Pretoria, but Afrikaners still refuse to adopt official handle Tshwane over one imposed by colonialists. By the way, kudos for your bike lanes, biodiesel initiatives, criterium races, fondo events, and wastewater processing.

Only a majority vote warrants a capitol city or international gulf rename, not an egomaniacal fiat from a fat fart self fêted führer. How pathetic and petty is that? It’s a ploy to pander to supporters while planting butt on throne, plotting chaos and revenge, and putting enemies in charge. Flooding zone with outrageous decrees tries to hide their demonic atrocities. What does he care for tax cuts? His crime syndicate evaded taxes for decades. Root “trompe” literally means “trick”, while Maga is the fifth and highest level of Satanic clergy. To the core Taco de Trompo is corn and pig al pastor, a crooked wolf who leads sheep to slaughter. Conspiracy theories evidence a special form of psychopathy, but sociopathy on top warrants resisting relentlessly. What did you expect from an insane crime lord and reality TV celebrity for whom only money, popularity and power hold relevancy? Having already danced and golfed across rubicon, his Ides of March approach.

America’s residents (340,100,000) vastly outnumber 1,000 billionaires and their 670 operatives among House (435), POTUS and Cabinet (23), Senate (100), and SCOTUS (9), along with unappreciated underlings (3,000,000, once including Labann) who work for agencies including USPS (660,000). It’s the military (2,800,000) provided with weapons and trained in tactics that you have to worry about; of their on average one thousand deaths per year biggest portion is self inflicted, then so-called accidents, then illnesses. It’s no wonder given how badly veterans are now and were being treated. Total (6,000,000) represents less than 2% of Americans. By contrast, seventy million Americans receive small monthly Social Security payments after a lifetime of involuntary annuity contributions, enough voters to recall from office entire Republican Party. If dedicated agency workers in critical roles can be summarily dismissed or replaced, so can mere representatives and senators, since they are coequal public servants, not untouchable rulers.

Finney (Mason Thames) and younger sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw, shown) have enough heartache with an abusive drunken widowed father. The Grabber (Ethan Hawk), part time magician and persistent prowler of Denver suburbs, looks for teen boys to abduct and torture in his brother’s basement. After a terrorizing string of disappearances, he grabs Finney. Gwen won’t give up her sibling search, crisscrossing side streets by banana bicycle, reacting to clues from clairvoyant dreams, just like her deceased mother had. In this supernatural thriller, The Black Phone (Scott Derrickson, dir., 2021) supposedly broken hangs on cellar wall, but Finney gets calls from the beyond he needs to survive. Bicycling easter eggs scattered throughout include Gwen after being spanked tearfully watching a scene about a broken bike from Christian tolerance cartoon Davey and Goliath, previous abductees who also rode bikes into danger, and screen door barring Finney’s escape secured by one’s bicycle combination lock. Will cycling newsboys, door-to-door sales-kids, or state’s constituents ever be safe from these monsters?

NR 24 (John Andreas Andersen, dir., 2024) was code name for agent Gunnar Sønsteby (Sjur Vatne Brean), who during early 1940’s Nazi occupation of Norway earned a reputation among the best allied assassins, forgers, and saboteurs in Europe. He resourcefully conducted clandestine missions by bicycle; indeed, his memorial statue at Solli Plass in Oslo depicts him straddling one. In many occupied countries during WWII, bicycles were confiscated to suppress resistance. Sønsteby was awarded the British Distinguished Service Order and US Medal of Freedom. Democracy dies if everyday heroes don’t stand in solidarity and undermine this autocracy. May robber barons forever fall to robin hoods.

This year’s Academy Award Best Actor Adrien Brody (shown) stars in The Brutalist (Brady Corbet, dir., 2024) as Hungarian-Jew László Tóth, a Bauhaus trained architect who emigrated to Pennsylvania after being forcibly separated from his child and wife by Nazis and surviving Buchenwald death camp, only to be abused and exploited by a rich industrialist patron. Daniel Blumberg’s Best Original Score for this film includes beautiful piano instrumental Bicycle covering Tóth’s rides on steel steed to proposed sites to sketch ideas. Release couldn’t be better timed to remind Americans how eager despots, kleptocrats, and oligarchs are to mistreat victims and strip them of their human dignity, individual wealth, and personal freedoms. He who says everything will be alright, as if it ever has, does you no favors.