Baleful Wain

“I see you got your list out. Say your piece and get out. Yes, I get the gist of it, but it's alright. Sorry that you feel that way. The only thing there is to say, ‘Every silver lining's got a Touch of Grey.’ I will get by... I will survive.” - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, 1987

To stay authentic and topical today’s writers must surf ahead of a tsunami of social insanity within a tyrannical tube of factuality. They have to assess advertisements, arts, blogs, books, broadcasts, documentaries, edicts, interviews, manifestos, movies, music, newscasts, podcasts, poetry, posts, rap, speeches, TikTok, tweets, videos, vlogs, and what’s not even on this Sisyphean list while investigating in person both an artificial and natural world, specific spaces at times, either eager to commit murder and devour your corpse. No bubble or force field, only cloth, grey matter, leather, or lycra to protect, it’s hard for anyone to say for sure, if at all, what preserves one’s inner self from threats out there. While being absorbed, ingested and inhaled, world in turn swallows you whole, simultaneously bestowing and taking, crucifying and forgiving, furnishing and suffocating, punishing and rewarding.

Labann’s mission has always been to encompass all of bicycling culture, monitor sources as new examples emerge, and show how items interconnect. Too often lately that involves baleful reports of political smackdowns, such as a POTUS proclamation trying to reverse NYC’s smart and successful Congestion Tolls. For GOP, state sovereignty only applies when it suits their own hypocritical lies. Often here cited public datasets are disappearing; all hail fascist efficiency that funnels public treasures to billionaire parasites! Low class cowards and thugs attacked Palestinian Muslims during Ramadan, then extorted neighborly Canadians because they think they can. No Russian mobsters have been deported. Gitmo has no promised alien detainees. Government services are disappearing. Inflation worsens daily. Stock shares are tanking. Poles are doubling their army expecting a Russian incursion. Is WWIII on its way? News you can lose? All deter civilian bicycling.

Anyway, The Douche is in the White House, and Duffer’s on vacation, golfing again, while true men from founding fathers to honored patriots are rolling angrily in their graves. What FDR said echoes loudly, "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Cruel and devious modus operandi define criminal sociopathy. Farm wains upon which they loaded Black Death casualties and fallen soldiers (“sold yer” out with huge cuts to veteran benefits and jobs) have been superseded by flat beds and trailer trucks for next inevitable Grey Death. Wailful days upon us warrant brown study and frown melancholy.

About time for a direction reversal: Hope of renewal springs eternal, thus perennial Easter festival. “Those trips a-wheel before the break of day, the pause to hear the morning songsters sing, the break of fast on berries by the way, the thirst assuaged by kneeling to the spring; The drill, the race, that memorable run, Quixotic like, in search of conquests fair - Each ‘joyed event returns like Summer sun, to warm the chillness of the Winter air.” - S. Conant Foster, A Midwinter Reverie, Wheel Songs, Poems of Bicycling, 1884

Not all bicycling memories melt into gratitude or warm your soul. How about brand new leather saddles before broken in or frozen fingertips throbbing as if seared by molten steel? Always attempted a last spin before weather set in for real, especially in winter when snowfall chases you home to stay until sun and wind strip streets of black ice and white depth, then watching out window day to day for another chance while trying to judge which bits of apparel will work under an ever varying conditional array. It’s an anniversary worth celebrating when single-ply short sleeve jersey and spandex shorts suffice. But paying the price panting between baking sun and grilling asphalt that waft watery mirages and wondering if you’ll complete course before wholly exhausted still haunt and menace, what Rachel Meltdown does to your typical MAGA clown. Self’s amuse abuse, or folly hobby, seems bombastic onanistic or depressive obsessive to someone else’s mentality.

Mary Mensana (Amanda Seyfried) is pregnant widow of a would-be environmental terrorist and rueful parishioner at First Reformed (Paul Schrader, dir., 2018), on eve of rural church’s 250th anniversary, where Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) serves as pastor to whom she rides her bicycle for emotional support. As an aside, a man does say Fred in reference to stodgy cyclists devoted to riding classic but outdated steel models such as a Peugeot Super Competition or Schwinn Varsity. This grim drama about climate despair, doctrinaire politics, hollow ceremony, and reproductive rights won Critic’s Choice Male Lead award for Hawke; screenplay was nominated for an Oscar.

Not finding a lot of new bicycle songs from dispirited Americans, composing still on wane, as previously described. Do note Europeans compiling abridged Youtube playlists, such as one from Germany of which only some of those not previously mentioned are listed below chronologically by release date. Interesting how France and Germany now stand together backing Ukraine’s resistance to Russia’s aggression after USA’s betrayal of democracy despite interwoven diversity and widespread mutiny of its citizens.

John Manchester, French Bicycle Music [piano instrumental], Blue Sky, Omnimusic, 1985

Beppo Küster, Ich fahre Rad [German pop], Bitte nach Ihnen, Amiga, 1986

Wolle Kriwanek Band, Mike (Mit dem Mountain-Bike) [German rock], Hot Wollé, Bell Records, 1992

M. A. Numminen, Fahrradfahren ist Notwendig [German, “Riding Bicycle Is Necessary”], soundtrack from short film Polkupyörällä ajaminen on tarpeellista (Sökö Kaukoranta, dir., 2000); commemorates 450th anniversary of Helsinki, Finland. Depicts a grey day with Numminen singing song beside riding on back of a bicycle being pedaled along a slushy roadside.

Spieltrieb, Fahrrad fahrn [German pop], Ohrrangement, self, 2008
“How do I feel? Of course, it rhymes with free. Whatever comes and happens can't touch me, because I have my song... There are a thousand ways to ride a bike, whether endurance, fast, downhill, or on the track. One thing is certain: you'll burn calories, and next summer you'll shine with a dream figure. Only what you eat is your fuel, and you're gliding along.”

Pat C, Klapprad [German], single video, self, 2010
“I ride a folding bike around the area; no reason to get upset”

Pratterino, Bicycle Song, Old Bicycle, Pär Strandberg, 2011

Souljah, Was mein Fahrrad angeht [German], single video, self, 2011
Bikecentric remake of the autocentric MoTrip song similarly named; if you sold God’s benefices, ecclesiastical privileges, or pardons it was once condemned as heretical simony, but now it’s the sole jam of Christian Nationalists loyal only to opportunist oligarchy.

Kommando Zurueck, Velociped [German hip-hop], Back from Out of Space, self, 2012

KraftKlub, Mein Rad [German], In Schwarz, Universal Music Group, 2014
Americans can related to this angst of loss plentiful evidenced, “My bike is no longer here, it's gone, that's what happened. But why is it now with an idiot like you... who sees things and just takes them like a stupid child?” Answer: Kleptocrats addicted to greed.

Anthony’s Putsch, King of the World, single video, self, 2014
“Won’t you grab that bike, please take me for a ride, and see that I’m King of the world! There is nothing I'm afraid of, mama, only the howling of the wind.” Right! Citizens of a democracy are collectively king, not some orange shellacked combover thing.

Infallet, Cykelhjälm Cykelhjälm [Swedish in English; group name means a “Sudden Whim”], single video, self, 2014
A helmet is stylish, the ultimate swag, no? “No pain, no gain. It’s a place to put your brain.”

Binyo, Fahrrad [German], Der Steg ist das Ziel [“The jetty is the destination’], self, 2015

The Rotaries, Bicycle Girl, On the Outs, self, 2015

Dota Kehr, Rennrad [German pop], Keine Gefahr, Kleingeldprinzessin Records, 2016

Maybebop, Lust auf Fahrrad [German], single, BMG, 2016

Moop Mama, Die Erfindung des Rades, M.O.O.P.Topia, self, 2016
“You are a miracle of nature on a miracle of technology, your round body contour, carefree and casual. They talk, and shout, and gesticulate, hands off the steering wheel. Sirens and horns are only for you, because you roll like a gangster.”

D.U.M. Enterprises, Fahrradtrack [German hip-hop], single video, self, 2018

Peelander-Z, Bike Bike Bike, Go PZ Go, Chicken Ranch Records, 2018

Günter Nüssle, Das Liegerad [German], single video, 2019

Nico Suave, Von Hamburg bis zum Meer [German pop], single video, Hamburg Marketing, 2019
“So many corners, so much to discover, on my bike... I’m never stuck in traffic. I pass you with a big smile.”

The Dirty Nil, To the Guy Who Stole My Bike, F*ck Art, Dine Alone Records, 2020
“I hope it serves you well. I hope the brakes don’t seize, when you’re riding down the hill to hell.”

Mr. Rose, Radfahren [German pop], single video, Problembär Records, 2020

Requisite, Bicycle, Rusty BBQ Demos EP, 1943896 Records DK, 2020
“Next time you offer me a ride, I might decline. I’d rather ride my bicycle.”

Severin Groebner, Rentner auf E-Bikes [German for “Retirees on E-bikes”], single video, self, 2020

Estéban Cortez, La-La-Lastenrad [German, “Cargo Bicycle”], single video, self, 2021
Going backwards by pedaling? Isn’t fuel too expensive?

Kadeja, feat. DieZelle, Bike, single video, PZK, 2021

Treptow, Nachts auf dem Fahrrad [German heavy metal], single video, self, 2021
“On the bike at night in Berlin... There’s room for you on my luggage rack; I'll gladly take you anywhere. Who needs a taxi?”

IFHT fea. Matt Dennison, New Bike Day, single video, self, 2022
“Got kicked out, got fired; wanna do stuff but I’m too tired. At least my mother’s proud of me (no, she’s not). But it’s new bike day, and I can’t be broken... I get to ride. I might be broke and alone, but there’s rubber and chrome... I feel alive... Can’t afford to fix my car, but I got shiny handlebars.”

Mike Ständer Band, Fahrradfahrn [German], Zweites, self, 2022

Blondie & Iris Wallaschek, Mein Rotes Fahrrad [German, "My Red Bicycle”], single video, Chromatics Entertainment Studios, 2023

Alex & Lukas (A. Diosegi and L. Brennecke), Radlerhymne [German hip-hop, “Cycling Anthem”], Schiffbruch, self, 2024
“Leather saddle padding and the pedal crank made of gold! The chrome rims measure an impressive twenty-six inches. Yes, then annoy a few passers-by with your exhaust. Hey, we'll pass you if you look out at us while you're filling up.”

E-Aldi, Fahrrad-Punks Not Dead, single, self, 2024

Vielleicht Emma, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, (Ich und mein) Fahrrad, self, 2024

Hanker Sane

“They say that, ‘Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.’ Steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you king. There's only one step down from here, baby. It’s called the land of permanent bliss. What’s a sweetheart like you doing in a dump like this?” Bob Dylan, Sweetheart Like You, Infidels, 1983

None can predict what might occur with certainty, though irrational behaviors often bring harm and ought to be avoided if possible. Don’t expect genius decisions from brains afflicted with dementia, parasites or syphilis. Legally and politically, ignorance is no excuse, but insanity does provide a lame defense. Madmen can be entertaining, about the only reason anyone nowadays acquires a name, evades blame, gains fame, or stakes a claim. One ought to hanker defining reality over sane washing absurdity. But as a criminal regime dawns, exemplary service in society’s interests secures yawns.

Andrew Wyeth (1930 to 2006) watercolor on board; artist is known for painting scenes from native Maine to Pennsylvania brimming with intense surrealism and magic realism.

“The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.” “When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.” Quality maniac Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (HarperCollins, 1974, 448 pp.), 50th anniversary

Before 2024 election, couldn’t get enough of Strike Force Five and their hilarious criticisms of sick cultists in diametric contrast, and sparkling wits such as John Stewart and Tim Miller (shown below in parent’s basement flanked by bicycle posters). Now they are too sad and tragically targeted to merit same attention. Entertainers and journalists who champion truths and expose lawmakers will always be the enemies of tyrants.

Compulsions to create authentic content instead spread fallacy pollution. You can read lies daily in salacious headlines drawing audiences to another dull presentation meant to meet deadlines. Social media uses artificial intelligence to score influence, and, since purchased by privileged immigrants, sift out disloyal or dissident participants. All you can legitimately do is avoid trolls, boycott nonsense, buy nothing, ignore clickbait, and resist despots. Meanwhile, the exact opposite coexists, modest titles fronting indispensable testimony, intangible religiosity, and nontaxable charity.

Robert Isenberg, Mile Markers (Last Picked Books, 2024, 220 pp.), “A bicycle isn’t just a piece of sports equipment or a fun hobby. It is the purest innovation, a tool of liberation, the antidote for a million human woes.”

Complex phenomena come from random insufficiencies. Situations greatly vary. Seldom does one size fit all. Ice Road truckers don’t benefit as much from bicycle transportation as crosstown office commuters. Bicycles are labor saving devices compared to walking, but not while hauling tonnage. Who wants to be forced arbitrarily to do something more difficult than necessary? Jacques Derrida warned of torturing poets on a Procrustean Bed which sacrifices context for conformity. Old farts who plot violence and proceed unhinged against those they swore to serve will themselves, “Be hoisted with their own petard,”poetic justice of ironic outcomes, unintended suicides during terrorist bombings, not to be confused with pittards, leather gloves that protect well until outdoor winter trips trigger frozen fingertips.

After a year in America that saw historic investment in bicycling infrastructure and reciprocal equipment purchases, you’d naturally expect books, films, and songs to acknowledge and celebrate, and a dozen sparked recognition. Never underestimate the power of visual stimuli to shape perceptions and sway behaviors. Pick for yourself which one promotes prudent conduct. 

Alcoholic divorcee Michael (Brian Stillar), known locally as Bike (Terrance Odette, dir., 2024), resorts to collecting bottles, raiding dumpsters, running errands, scrounging beers, and stealing bicycles. One assignment has him arduously messengering a mystery envelope up a steep escarpment. His one hope, to jumpstart a relationship with his teenage daughter, runs into a detour when he witnesses a drive-by shooting.

Camera Corner (Josh Weinberg, dir., 2024) documents Wende Cragg’s archive of thousands of photos of early mountain bikes and Marin County’s MTB community circa 1974.

In uplifting fact-based feature film Hard Miles (Daniel Hannah, dir., 2024), social worker Matthew Modine ushers juvenile delinquents serving soft sentences on an epic bicycle tour to Grand Canyon, aided by sag driver Cynthia Kaye McWilliams and wrench tech Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee in LOTR). Everyone tumbles at least once on first attempt at using cleats.

Heretic (Bryan Woods and Scott Beck, dirs., 2024) follows Mormon sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East) blithely biking about, imposing their beliefs door to door, while seeking converts, until they arrive at the home of atheist psychopath Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), lock up bikes, and shuffle indoors. Resembles empty promises and fraught visits on political campaigns. This grim film received 2 dozen award nominations.

Rebel Ridge (Jeremy Saulnier, dir., 2024) shows ex-special forces marine Terry Richmond (Aaron Pierre) run afoul of corrupt police in rural South. After they knock him off his mountain bicycle and confiscate cash with which he was planning to bail out his cousin, random Rambo mayhem commences.

Souleymane’s Story (Boris Lojkine, dir., 2024, in French) is portrayed by Abou Sangare, who delivers food in Paris by bicycle. To qualify for asylum, he must prepare an autobiography prior to a state inquiry. Was nominated for 10 awards and won 7.

Tess Parks - Some Days: The Bike Song From Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Warner Bros. Pictures, Tim Burton, dir., 2024), “I don't like anything, but I love everyone some days... when the sun is out and good people are about it restores my faith.” Lydia Deetz’s psychic heir Astrid (Jenna Ortega) avoids colliding her bike with carelessly driven trucks but crashes through fence into the yard of Jeremy Frazier (Arthur Conti), who secretly designs her unsolicited destiny for his own expediency. Despicables dupe innocents, especially during elections. Living free is wondrous, withstanding afterlife monstrous. 

We Are Rock n Roll (Justin Balog, dir., 2024) is a documentary of the American Criterium Cup, a series of up to 10 races for points for purses totaling $500,000.

Bicycle Film Festival is currently and virtually presenting BFF Classics, short films previously introduced during its 25 year history, through 31 March 2025. There will also be physical exhibitions of new works at various global locations including Copenhagen.

Pandemic doctor Daniela Schwendener gets revitalized by gravel bicycling on her Days Off (Liam Higgins, dir., 2022), an overlooked short from a few years ago promoting Cotic Bikes shot on location in England’s Peak District National Park.

Project A (Jackie Chan, dir.,1983) casts himself as Sergeant Dragon Ma Yue Lung and performs in martial arts battles including a frenetic bicycle scene set in Hong Kong alleys. What’s the goal of that silly slapstick sound at every kick?

Patricia Taxxon, Big Wheel, Bicycle, self, 2024 - Rambling aural experiment eventually gets around to lyrics: "The big wheel in the sky, he arcs o’er miles and miles... We can see the whole town from up here, feel the wind sail past our ears, the whistling noise it makes, so frigid and so fierce.”

Suspect Tramontane

Looking for redemption from a cycling obsession and stumbling through a universe two-wheeled, you never know what will be revealed, sometimes resembling a suspicious blast of northerly wind from Alps that brings disease and excises convenience. Reserve right to refuse any mention, though exclusion has never been Labann's intention.

Called out, woke, then canceled: Practically describes how society dealt with Labann specifically. How do distaff cousins, mistreated mothers, and significant others organize during a pandemic to counter crooked officials, misogynists, nazis, patriarchs, and whoever else wants to overturn hard won civic rights? Make no mistake, what’s at stake are common sense, licensed licentiousness, power lust, privileged status, treasury rape, wealth dominance, and world influence. So no big deal, and not cancel culture, to skip extraneous references, so songs that actually capture culture can inspire independence, as do the following two baker’s dozens.

Eek a Mouse, aka Ripton Joseph Hylton, Peeni Walli [Jamaican reggae], Peeni Walli EP, Gorgon Records, 1983
“Riding on my bicycle got knocked down by a motorcycle in front of a motor vehicle. Luckily, I was Jah Jah disciple. I lay on the ground. I was so injured... did not know what to do... Yeah, man! When the bike really hit me I see stars and peeni walli [fireflies]. Beddameng [akin to Valetudinarian]! Pain all over me, me tink [sic] me get shocked by electricity... Crowd gather around like it was a funeral, ‘ey! Some say it accidental.”

Robert Palmer, Pride, Pride, Island Records, 1983
Addressing a body building obsessed girlfriend, “Roller skates and vitamins and diet plans, academic discipline will ruin your hands. We used to ride tandem and have lots of fun, but bicycles for exercise are made for one.” Perhaps the late pop artist, often surrounded by supermodels, might have lived into his sixties with own spin regimen.

Josh Rouse, Sweetie, Country Mouse City House, Bedroom Classics, 2007
“Life in circles and we dream of some place to go. [Chorus] We’ll sleep on roof tops. We’ll ride on bicycles. Baby, we'll get married. Don’t you want to, Sweetie?”

Jonathan Mann, Song #121: To: Sarah and Mike From: Meredith and Adam re: Sorry about your bikes, Song a Day: Year One, self, 2009

Jonathan Mann, Song #203: Bike Love, Song a Day: Year One, self, 2009

Jonathan Mann, Song 249: Bicycle Blvd., Song a Day: Year One, self, 2009

Jonathan Mann, Song #280: Hey Mr. Bike Thief, Song a Day: Year One, self, 2009

J Prozac, A Boy and His Bike, Here Is My Heart, self, 2013

Julian Bach, Ride [South African], Man on The Bicycle, self, 2013
“We’ll ride into the source of the night... into forever where nobody has ever gone.”

Julian Bach, Man on The Bicycle [South African], Man on The Bicycle, self, 2013
“Man on the bicycle now rides a luxury car miles away from his bicycle... Come back to your roots.... Get your bike into gear.”

Kids On Bikes, A Boy Needs A Bike, Transference EP, self, 2014

Me for Queen (Mary Erskine), Bike With No Name, Iron Horse, self, 2014

Me for Queen (Mary Erskine), Freewheel, Iron Horse, self, 2014

Me for Queen (Mary Erskine), Traffic Light Crush, Iron Horse, self, 2014

Me for Queen (Mary Erskine), Wheelie, Iron Horse, self, 2014

Me for Queen (Mary Erskine), White Bike, Iron Horse, self, 2014
The Guardian said, “Iron Horse: an album [crowdfunded] inspired by cycling in the city will give 5% of all sales to RoadPeace, a UK charity for road crash victims, and 20% of anything over its target.”

Owen Pallett, Soldier’s Rock [Seattle indie], In Conflict, Domino, 2014
Interesting dissonant use of lead violin. “Out on a bicycle a reflection left behind, behind. The desires of your daughters they will never be defined, defined. Wild pedal wild energized by the stolen vodka and triple-sec. Wheels spurting up the flecks of mud on your blue jeans and your turtleneck. I'm out on a bicycle feeling God is on my side. My mother didn't believe in discipline or the unconscious mind... Somewhere between the road and the ever-darkening sky, ooh, the greediness of our hearts will not be satisfied.”

Alexander & Joanna Forbes L’Estrange, fea. Dan Moriyama (piano), A Woman Wearing Bloomers on a Wheel, single/video, Andagio, 2015

“There’s nothing quite as splendid as a bloomer; for riding bicycles they’re perfectly ideal.” And while they’re at it, organizing with suffragist Emmeline Pankhurst to force men to let them cast ballots. After 150 years of women citizens exercising their born right to vote, begun in State of Wyoming, and 100th anniversary of the ratification of Nineteenth Amendment, none of all those specious objections against manifested. In fact, quite the opposite, enfranchised women actively and successfully fought fascism during WWII. These days, either gender is just as apt to vote foolishly or wisely. State of Georgia’s Republican Governor Brian Kemp has again disenfranchised blacks and women with vicious new Jim Crow laws based upon the Big Lie, despite Trump’s actively and illegally trying to distort results there, and due to Rudy Giuiani’s false claims of a stolen election. As the minority party, GOP knows it has to resort to electoral redistricting, exclusionary ballots, low turnout, and restrictive measures to creep into office and only represent privileged creeps including themselves. Such an outrage should never be tolerated, and those who try ought to be recalled or voted out.

Hip-Hope Buster, À bicyclette [French], single, self, 2015
Hip hop homage to old Yves Montand song.

Slabs, Brian Pulva [space jazz], Ballena Solitaria, self, 2015
“That man, the man with a beard, in a skirt, on a bicycle... Lumbering internal combustion. Wildering images distinct from, lumbering internal combustion. Slabs form in tarmac. Smog is scattered. And in the dust all our friends will rot.”

Jackal & the Wind, Finding Home, Finding Home, CD Baby, 2017
Concludes with, “A bicycle with nowhere to go. I’m on my bicycle, and I can’t find home.”

David Haerle, Glendale, Garden Of Edendale, Edendale Records, 2018
“Well, I had, had a love, and she lived there way up high above Kenneth Road, and I rode, yeah, my bicycle there, and she showed me how it felt to feel like a man, a man in love with a girl and with the whole wide world. In Glendale it all began.”

Geotic, Swiss Bicycle [electronica instr.], Traversa, self, 2018

Ghost Suns, Cards on a Bicycle [English synth], single, Fierce Panda Records, 2018
“Something like a new machine ready to be turned on... It’s been a long time since I’ve been down on this road... Cards on a bicycle marking time and space, keep moving forward, never looking back.”

Hawksley Workman, Italy [Canadian], Median Age Wasteland, Isadora Records, 2019
“Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle days. Riding through the hayfields, riding through the haze, just giving into summer, giving yourself away. We never came here looking to dispel any notions, looking to mop up any oceans. but just to see the sun upon your face.”

Kamuflauge, Bicycle [reggae], single/video, 2186113 Records DK, 2020

Ides Marchpane?

(Kim) Chung Ha, Bicycle [Korean], Querencia, Genie Music, 2021 

Messages might not be timely, and time plays tricks on memory. Labann scratches his head on why Richard Ballantine (1940-2013), American scion of Bantam Books publishing family, author of Richard’s Bicycle Book (aka “the bike-shed bible” from a half century ago, 1972) followed by 7 other cycling-centric titles (millions sold), and founder of Bicycle Magazine, has been forgotten. From early recognition of 1970’s bike boom, exposés of automotive greed, practical advice on buying and owning not just bikes but in general human powered vehicles, and protests against Vietnam War, wouldn’t be surprised his works were actively suppressed. Could explain why he mostly resided in London, where he kick started mountain biking by importing England’s first 20 units of Ritchey Montares. Ironically, when you google his name, you find dead twenty-year-old Marine PFC Richard Ballantine on Vietnam Veterans Wall of Faces, but not so much about this eccentric but influential cycling advocate, who gradually grew to understand how bicyclists are reluctant warriors against a vicious paradigm fueled by blood and petroleum.

For the first Earth Day, April 22, 1970, ecology aware San Jose State College students bought a brand new Ford Maverick, disrespected it in a mock parade, then buried it on campus. After Ralph Nader, people began to see cars as counterproductive to human survival. Still under attack 5 decades later, environment received a chance for justice after post-election policy reversals. Had to expect that fighting for planet’s sake would be controversial. They say the first casualty of war is truth, though soldiers whose lives are on the line don’t buy it.

While Biden promises a new round of bicycling infrastructure projects, he also intends to create a million new stateside automaker jobs. Reliance on obsolete, unsustainable mono-industry makes little sense in long run, whereas grants and rewards for positive innovations and practical inventions do. Yet elite pols heavily invested in EPVs, solar and wind rile neocon wonks. Cars and computers are no longer such necessities; climate, energy, food, housing, potable water, and vaccines remain biggest challenges to survival, especially if your policies do nothing to mitigate motor vehicles, which remain world’s biggest threat to all when you take wars for oil and wastes collectively into account.

Texas shut down in February with widespread suffering after decades of oil production caused climate change that affected jet stream and drew a polar vortex to freeze them, while regulators neglected to foresee and plan a suitable contingency. Texas is the only US state that privatized its electric grid, shuffling contract to insiders, all of whom have been fired or chosen to resign. So typical: Suck millions in obligatory taxes, then stick payers with consequences, so you can abscond to relax in tropical luxury. Global warming poses yet another threat, howling, punishing winds; never before saw so many rogue gales that menace bicyclists more than most. Regular people are forced to hunker down and read by candlelight, or computer screens, if lucky enough to still have service. In aftermath of catastrophe and contagion, some bake sourdough bread, sculpt marchpane whimsies for guests who weren’t invited, or solve crossword puzzles while sensing a García’s Márquez’s moment of love, plague, solitude, and yearning.

Busy online in advance of Earth Day 2021, collected 5 dozen previously unlisted bicycling songs from all over the globe, posted below (in order by year of release), many thanks to Alex Chang, who has been continually updating a Youtube channel that has reached 200+ videos from widespread sources and years, including Finland and Russia. Also updated definitive spreadsheet linked on Wikipedia, which, while impossible to ever be comprehensive, does contain more vetted non-covers than any other list on planet, about 2,150.

Cal Stewart, Uncle Josh on a bicycle [spoken word], single, Berliner, 1899

Cal Stewart, Uncle Josh Weathersby on a bicycle [spoken word], single, Victor, 1901
Comedy from over a century ago viciously attacked cycling for its impracticality. For decades dozens of different but similar versions were recorded. Joke’s on Josh, because bicycling got better and safer, and four times as many go by bike as by car.

Orquesta Tropical, Mi Amor En Bicicleta [one-step dance instrumental,”My Love on a bicycle”], single, Victor, 1924

Earl Rouse & Brothers, Pedal Your Blues Away [c&w, 1936], John’s Old Time Radio Show, East River Records, 2015
Apparently R Crumb with Cheap Suit Serenader’s weren’t song’s originators, as this recent rerelease points out.

Six Hits and a Miss with Gordon Jenkins Orchestra, Two on a Bike, single, b-side of Bye Bye Blackbird, Capitol Records, 1943
Composed by Gene de Paul with lyrics by Don Raye, was included in soundtrack of Hi’Ya Chum (Harold Young, dir., 1943).

Silvana Pampanini, Ma dove vai bellezza in bicicletta [Italian], Beauties on a Bicycle [soundtrack], EDIC, 1951
From 70 years ago, this farce about chorus girls on a mixed modal road trip stars Pampanini, who sings title song, “But where are you going, beauty, by bicycle? Do not be in a hurry, stay a little on my heart. Leave the bike, give me your kisses...”

Freddie Sandy, The Bicycle Song, single, [unknown label and date]
Cover of Max Miller’s Let’s Have a Ride on Your Bicycle (1953) rife with sexual harassment and innuendo, probably comes from early 1960’s. “I said, my dear, if there’s nobody near, I’d like a ride on your bike... After the ride I began to perspire. It wasn’t the ride; I’d been pumping her tyre.”

Brita & Eikka, Polkupyörä [Finnish, juvenile, “Bicycle”], Brita ja Eikka laulavat lapsille, Scandia, 1960
Sung to Freddy Quinn tune Oh, My Darling Clementine, “We borrowed a bicycle... I pedal, you control, as a dance journey goes, to Grandma when we cycle the skyscraper is not visible... After a bike ride to grandma, I put the bike behind the barn next to the wall to sleep...”

The Rolling Stones, Something Happened to Me Yesterday, Between the Buttons, Decca, 1967
At end of trippy album closing tune, Mick Jagger says, ”So if you're out tonight, don't forget, if you're on your bike, wear white. Evening, all.” Album was one of their top sellers.

Jean Saint-Paul, Vas-Y Eddy [Belgian, “C’mon Eddy (Merckx)”], single 7", Phillips Records, 1967
Notable for being the first recorded song about Merckx, it’s partisan praise for nation’s biggest bicycling champion and most famous citizen.

Singing Guitars, aka Поющие гитары, Песенка велосипедистов [Russian rock, “Cyclist’s Song”], single/video, Мелодия [“Melody” label], 1969
“It was difficult for a man ten thousand years ago. He walked to the pharmacy, to work, to the zoo. He didn't know the bike, blindly believed in miracles. Because I have not tasted all the virtues of the wheel... Sit down and just press the pedal. And now in this world everyone is romping somewhere. Adults and children are riding to work, to the zoo. They go to the bathhouse and the pharmacy. They’re going to my mother-in-law for lunch.”

Wachauer Buam, Ja mir san mit'm Radl da [Austrian beer hall polka], “Yeah, we are here by bike”], single, Philips, 1971
“... two cavaliers, they’re going to the country party. You expect a Porsche, chrome-painted and super fine. But suddenly the boys hear it screaming from afar: ‘Yes, I'm there with my bike; yes, I'm there with my bike!’”

Peter Hinnen, Mir sind mit em Velo [Swiss-German, “I’m on my bike”], single, self 1973

Christoph Busse, Fahrradsong, Sesam, Öffne Dich! (Mit Liedern Aus Der Sesamstraße)[‘Open Sesame! (With Songs from Sesame Street)”], Fontana, 1976
Ripoff of Neil Young’s tune After the Gold Rush (1970) with own lyrics, supposedly aimed at juvenile listeners.

Marcos Valle, Bicicleta [Brazilian funk], single, Som Livre, 1984

Sahnie (Hans Runge), Fahrrad fahr’n [German], Erste Sahne, EMI, 1989 “I have an old bike, just like I need it. It's beautiful and environmentally friendly too! I'm riding a bike, my old rattling bike. I'll get new rims made of light metal and chrome.” An aside, Runge is also a bespoke state-of-the-arts super-fast car brand, whereas Rudge was a British bikemaker, like Humber, swallowed by Raleigh.

Jason Wang, Bike, Wang Shixian Sings Old Chinese Songs 4, Sinuo Beite/Sony, 1990

Rick Reed & The Ethereal Bastards, Dr. Hoffman's Million Year Bike Ride [eam], single/video, self, 1990 

Bottlecap, The Bicycle Song, single, Tummy Button Cassingles, 1994

cLOUDDEAD, Bike 2, cLOUDDEAD, Mush/Bigda, 2001

cLOUDDEAD, Physics of a Bicycle, The Peel Session, self, 2001

cLOUDDEAD, Physics of a Unicycle, Ten, self, 2003
Used to think these four, including Bike 1 previously listed, were all the same under a different name. Once posted to Youtube, got to actually hear, and they are not, though that hardly matters given unintelligible content.

Eason Chan, 單車 [Chinese, “Bicycle’], Shall We Dance? Shall We Talk?, Emperor Entertainment Group/EEG Music, 2001

Juice Leskinen, Einarin polkupyörä [Finnish, “Einar’s Bicycle”], Juice Leskinen & Coitus Int, Love Records, 2003 rerelease bonus track
Lyrics describe finding a rusty bike under a barn, and riding it to a bar for beer and fallen angels.

Egotrippi, Polkupyörälaulu [Finnish, “Bicycle Song”], Matkustaja [“Passenger”], Zen Garden, 2003
“On your bike from the top of the hill, if you pedal really hard and don’t use the brakes, you can get into town in half an hour... Temptations in every direction. The wheels spin at a steady pace. I guess the bills go unpaid. How can it be possible... that all his money can be wasted... down to the last penny together in a record store. You can waste all your money down to the last penny with a good conscience.”

Bergelheim, Ich fahr Fahrrad [German indie, “I Ride a Bicycle”], Neuer Deutscher Pop - Aufnahmezustand 5 [compilation], XYX Music, 2006
“Only ride a bicycle and do what makes you happy.”

Holy Crow, The Bicycle Song, single/video, self, 2008

The Wonder Years, An Elegy For Baby Blue [indie punk], Won't Be Pathetic Forever EP, Hopeless Records, 2008
Anguish about bike being stolen: “It's like the world stopped revolving in the absence of you...Nothing about you but your wheel's been anything but true. Come on, man. You've been a good friend. I had that dream where we found you again... We didn't stand a chance. It broke my heart to watch them ride you down Mifflin. Sometimes, at night, I swear I hear you screaming, ‘No! No! Don't let me go...’ Dylan was right because it's all over now, Baby Blue... We're never (never) getting caught again. So, if you see them, tell them, 'Man, I just want my bike back.'"

Rock & Rollinger, Fahrrad [German, explicit], Rollst Du noch oder Rockst Du schon? ["Are you still rolling or are you already rocking?"], SM Noise Rec., 2009

Egotronic, Fahrradlied [German punk, “Bike Song”], Was Soll’s, self, 2010

Honey Trappists, Bicycle Ride Through the Nation’s Capitol (Lokin Out), Rough Jazz: Volume One, self, 2010

Vocokesh, Dr. Hofmann's Bicycle Ride [instrumental psychedelia], Dr. Hofmann's Bicycle Ride, Phonosphera Records, 2010

The Aquabats, Poppin' A Wheelie!, Hi-Five Soup!, Fearless, 2011
“I love love love love love love poppin' a wheelie! On my bike! When you see me outside with my wind-swept hair riding by with my wheel in the air, You’ll never see me happier... That’s when I pull those handlebars and get 'em in the air... And I'm the king of the world as I'm balancing.”

Dynamo Team, feat. Lulu, Roll the Dynamo [Slovak disco in English], Slavia, Lark Records, 2011
“After all day at school I am down. I need to get out, so I leave the town. I take my bike and roll the dynamo. I worked all day, now I should stop. It’s time to relax, at least I hope.”

Nico Touches the Walls, バイシクル [Japanese, “Bicycle”], Humania, Ki/oon Records/Sony, 2011

Ryan Hardy, Bicycle, Heavy Mandolin, self, 2011

Charity Kahn & the JAMband, Bike [juvenile], Family Values, self, 2012

Choi Jung In & Kang Gary aka 정인&개리, (자전거 [Korean, “Bicycle’], single, Sony-ATV, 2014
“We bike in the breeze. I keep smiling... Don’t stop, keep riding toward the sunset.”

Craig Richey, Girl on a Bicycle [instrumental], Girl on a Bicycle [soundtrack], Lakeshore Records, 2014

Charlie Burg, feat. Daniel James, Phillip's Bicycle, One, Violet, self, 2015
“On my bicycle I go too fast. The little shops that I ride past, he people's faces, they make me laugh. I approach the curve and stop to see a hill of true adversity. I think to myself, can anybody see me? I can't believe I'm better than I ever was... I am taken to a forest path where I trample autumn leaves and grass... my shoes are worn, my helmet's loose. I packed a sandwich and some juice. The wind and I have made a little truce”.

Bike, Enigma Do Dente Falso [Brazilian psychedelia, “False Teeth Puzzle”], 1943, 30th Cent. Rec., 2015
No discernible bike lyrics on this trippy album devoted to Dr. Albert Hoffman’s invention of LSD.

Schlappn, Altes Fahrrad [German, “Old Bike”], Back from Klappse, self, 2015

Dota Kehr, Rennrad, Keine Gefahr ["No Danger"], Believe Music, 2016

Vavan aka Владимир Селиванов (Vladimir Selivanov), Велосипед aka Velosiped [Russian, “Bicycle’], Zhenshchiny. Svoboda, Sony Music Entertainment (SME), 2016
“We'll leave here on a bicycle. We'll go wherever we want from here. Palm trees, the sea and the people.We will be welcomed and they'll notice that we're awesome.”

Celo & Abdi, Shimano XTR [German, explicit gangsta hip-hop], Diaspora, Azziackz, 2017
“G's on the street packaging tool, digital scales, cash, and my bike, get on the pedals, Bianchi Methanol [brand model]. Down the mountain, pack and seal, roll on carbon. Keep your balance with your phone to your ear. My driving style, sometimes fast, sometimes nice and slow.”

Chris Komus, Bicycle Rides with Dr Hoffman [eam], Sickly Fingers, Shanti Planti, 2017

Jason Bartsch, Son of Anarchy, 4478 Bochum, recordjet, 2017
I'll get my bike out of the garage, steering wheel up, nice retro look. My bikes are from Schwalbe. I'm a gangster in my hood... Whenever I cruise I am super ecological. I don't need an exhaust. I have legs and I am fashionable in time... I'm doing the tour through the village of Jan-Ullrich-Style... Cars stink. I'm more of the bicycle type.”

Stereophonics, fea. Kelly Jones, Boy On A Bike, Scream Above the Sounds, Parlophone Records Limited, 2017 “What am I running from? I used to be so fearless... I’d fly around the world. Suppose I’ve seen a lot of things, and maybe they left their mark. I know when you can't see what you're afraid of It's like being afraid of the dark... I used to feel so free when I was that boy on a bike riding down that silent snowy street in the valley that made me feel alive... But what's around the corner for me now? I gotta ride the whole street and take a turn.”

Auro, Schöne Mänsch Ufem Velo [German], single, self, 2018
Beautiful cyclists protesting too much war over last decade endure rubber pellets and water canons.

Rie Takahashi, Jitensha [Japanese], Hoshino Kizuna, Pony Canyon, 2018
“Go to see the sea by bicycle, aiming at the sun in the dawn sky. Chatting on undecorated days continues. Ride a bicycle and aim at the sun.”

Chevy & Park Bird, If I Could Ride a Bike, If I Could Ride a Bike, Sneaker Kids, 2019
“If I could ride a bike, I’d zoom around the world with you sitting there behind me. I’ll take you to places past several faces just livin' life so carefree... Oh, when you call me I'm drifting on clouds, like I'm dreaming. But in the morning, I’ll wake up and see that you're stuck here with me.”

D.A.B. feat. Spikey Spike, Op De Fiets [Dutch hip-hop], Het Begin Van Iets Groters [“The Beginning Of Something Bigger”], Walboomers Music, 2019

Jitterin’ Jinn, Jitensha [j-pop, “Bicycle”], single/video, Nippon-Columbia, 2019

Dominic Miller, Bicycle [jazz instrumental], Absinthe, ECM Records GmBH/Deutsche Grammaphon, 2019

Richard Eaton, The Bicycle Song [jazz instrumental], Songs of the Parkade, 1048381 Records DK, 2019

Team Dresch, Take on Me, Captain My Captain, self, 2019
“Wish I was riding bikes with you; I've sat down in the middle of this mess I've made of letters and clothes. Wish i was anywhere with you.”

Underwood, Vélocipède [eam], Vélocipède EP, Tanzgemeinschaft, 2019

Kinjal Dave, Cycle [Gujarati/Mumbai], Cycle, Zee Music, 2020

Myung-Jun Kim, Bicycle, Night walking alone, Five Senses Entertainment, 2020

Nick Goodman, I Want to Be Your Bicycle Seat, Heaven Sent Or..., self, 2020
“Honey, this Christmas I don’t want to fill with food... this year your love is all I need and to be the seat on your ten speed... I promise to be discrete.”

Solstice Quatorzain

Bicyclists consider seasons and segments with interest and reverence. A segment that one is willing to tackle often depends upon conditions at different times of year. Autumn strews bike paths with leaf and twig litter, so streets might be preferable. Icy winter might preempt slippery climbs and descents, so slight rolls appeal. Even muddy spring can reroute you from potholes hidden by puddles. You can choose as you go, but can’t certify what terrain might reveal. Cyclists think in terms of what it will take to begin and end any bit of a ride, perhaps turn aside. Am I steering into a hazards headache? Are my knees up to it? How much exertion will it take? Is there any fuel left in tank? Rather go long way around a towering obstacle, to be frank.

When it comes to urban transportation, BBC Life Project asks. “Maybe the car doesn’t have to be the default?” So many people are stuck in cages because of palpable fear, perceived convenience, and physical weakness, bicyclists are deemed a crank minority as long as gasoline remains available, prejudice against pedaling persists, or price of e-vehicles hover above grasp of masses. Society marginalizes cyclists because they act singularly. Critical Mass did raise awareness and inspired planning that led to action, in this case, cheap paint designating bike lanes in some cities where mayors understood. Labann has even painted own bike lanes at neglected sites and pointed out pavement oversights on bikeways by circling them with temporary highlights.

Like city planners, composers, craftsmen and wordsmiths assemble elements. Artists and authors, on the other hand, derive visions out of interactions in moments, new memes, and old tropes. Literary artists cannot create from nothing, take tiny fragments of own life to weave into narratives without, necessarily, malicious intents. Though developed experientially, B&C extrapolated logically and passed along input from sportifs who learned the ropes. Companion Reader complements referentially and expands upon appendices. Believe it wise to advise whence text derives rather than simply let readers surmise. Barely acceptable products are an amalgam of many components and contributors. Anything of value comes from cooperation and distribution in tandem with individual determination.

Fabric of life benefits from varying strands, from emotionally intelligent to physical strong to spiritually pliant. Never beloved and seldom liked is anyone who shocks others awake with heartfelt honesty. A poet can capture vibrant insights though likely stands to be dismissed, hated or ignored until all goes wrong and policies fail to go along. No system withstands very long, not even quatorzain sonnets 14 stanzas strong. You can tolerate incompetence in many fields, but not government. Unfortunately, that’s where it’s most prevalent. There's nothing quite like song as a sweet caress to soothe wounds endured while meeting demands in shifting sands; audiences devote short segments of their lives to those they choose to hear.

Eric Knight’s orchestral piece The Great American Bicycle Race never made it onto B&C’s song list because no recording had been found. But according to a contemporary New York Times article, The Baltimore Symphony Orchestra recorded it in 1983. Knight, who was principal pops conductor of the orchestra, was commissioned to write “music to bike by” to commemorate the United States Professional Cycling Championship won by David Phinney that year. Performed live only once since by Philharmonisches Orchester Würzburg in 2014, can only imagine how its 6 minutes of bassoons, clarinets, piccolos, strings, and timpani sound. Knight described it as a rousing American fanfare, followed by a polka or galop (a duple time dance from 1820’s Paris) that represents movement. “It has a slow, bluesy middle section - I imagined this to represent them going very slowly uphill - and then it ends with a puff of smoke.”

John Farnham, Break The Ice, Rad [Soundtrack], Curb Records, 1986

Thanks go to Dinnos Demian, who recently updated an impressive 181 bicycle song list on Youtube. Majority were already listed in B&C, but found these 14 hitherto unknown on-point tunes below, more later. Not conversant in Greek, did not know ποδήλατο (podilato) meant bicycle. Further investigated best and cogent, skipped obscure, though worth a look. Historic wonderworker Saint Nicolas of Bari and Myra was a Greek, known now as jolly elf Santa so closely associated with holiday season. Foolish to forget how popular bikes could be on Greece’s 227 inhabited islands among 6000, especially given economic downturn over last decade. Another nation archipelago, Japan’s 6852 islands are likewise infested with jitensha, where Santa begins to unload all those wished for bicycles on his westward itinerary.

Kostas Makedonas, To podilato [Greek], Pame gia orthopetalies, Sony BMG Music, 1996

Aya Hisakawa, Ashita mo mata Jitensha (Bicycling Again Tomorrow) [Japanese], Sailor Moon [Soundtrack], Toei Animations Company, 1996
Hopeful personality image song depicting character Ami Mizuno, who becomes Sailor Mercury in hit TV anime series which spawned a media universe. Sailors are teens who become warrior defenders against evil villains. “Handles - Pedals - Brakes - Tires - Chainz: It’s all exceedingly logical. He's coming to show me his new trick on the bike he loves. What is it about it that appeals to him so much? Bicycle - Marvelous magic. It’s a little frustrating... I’m losing my breath... squeezing out my last bit of strength. The sky unfurling... The sun setting in the city below...  It was the first time I'd started riding downhill! Bicycle - Melting into the wind... His smiling face, the scenery around me... Bicycle - Wondrous magic!”

Aqua Timez, Jitensha (Bicycle) [Japanese], 「七色の落書き (Seven-colored Graffiti), Epic Records Japan, 2006 “Bicycle, my bicycle, I'll put you on it. The dream that we had... is for us. It ’s brilliant.”

Eleni Vitali, Το ποδήλατο (The bicycle) [Greek], Epta... Kai Na Prosecheis, Melody Maker, 2008

Pavlos Pavlidis & B Movies, Το ποδήλατο [Greek], Ayto to Ploio Poy Olo Ftanei, Archangel Music, 2010
“I saw you by chance riding your bike, You looked as if the world was made to be yours... Paradise is like a road that reaches you.”

Too Dumb To Die, Little Bike, single video, self, 2008
When this European band on a world tour by bicycle arrived in Japan, chance acquaintance Moku Teraoka shot a video.

Serafim Tsotsonis, Bicycles On Hudson (no bike lyrics), So This Is Heaven, Klik Records, 2011

Sisterkingkong, The Glory Is Lost [German in English], She Sees Wolves, VierSieben Records, 2011
No bike lyrics, band slow rides bikes throughout official video.

Giorgos Dimitriadis & Lakis Papadopoulos, Pare Podilato (Get a Bicycle) [Greek], single live, Minos-EMI SA, 2012

Killo Killo Banda, My Bike [Serbian reggae], Amongst the People, Phonofile Balkan, 2012
“I like to ride my bike... It gives me inspiration, a kind of meditation. It gives me comfort, the only way of transport... in this concrete meadow... You can never get me down. I’m the king of the clowns with a wheel as my crown.” Catchy.

Lucas Santtana feat. Féfé, Diário de uma bicicleta [Portuguese], Sobre Noites e Dias [About Nights and Days], No Format!, 2014
“You, me, us and our friends. Sun, grass, bicycles and whatever happens... My life on the pedal, slowly... Don't try not to overtake, friend. Face the gap. Here comes the bus. They don't scare me, but without experience and caution they’ll devour you.”

Sotiris Alexakis, The girl with the bicycle [Greek instrumental], single/video, self, 2018
Simple pleasures of pedaling seaside promenades into town at night.

Konstantinos Angelopoulos, Μπλε Ποδήλατο (Blue Bicycle) [Greek], single, self, 2017
“With my old blue bike, I'm looking for an unguarded border to escape the downhill, because its cost is unprofitable... wheel and my durable tire, life short or a quatrain?”

Jitensha, Under Control [Canadian folk], Periscope, self, 2019
“Don’t get emotional. You’ve got to ride it out. You got a long way to go. Relax. You got it under control... With every mile that passes, you start to understand. What once looked like a mountain can fit inside of your hand.”