Solstice Quatorzain

Bicyclists consider seasons and segments with interest and reverence. A segment that one is willing to tackle often depends upon conditions at different times of year. Autumn strews bike paths with leaf and twig litter, so streets might be preferable. Icy winter might preempt slippery climbs and descents, so slight rolls appeal. Even muddy spring can reroute you from potholes hidden by puddles. You can choose as you go, but can’t certify what terrain might reveal. Cyclists think in terms of what it will take to begin and end any bit of a ride, perhaps turn aside. Am I steering into a hazards headache? Are my knees up to it? How much exertion will it take? Is there any fuel left in tank? Rather go long way around a towering obstacle, to be frank.

When it comes to urban transportation, BBC Life Project asks. “Maybe the car doesn’t have to be the default?” So many people are stuck in cages because of palpable fear, perceived convenience, and physical weakness, bicyclists are deemed a crank minority as long as gasoline remains available, prejudice against pedaling persists, or price of e-vehicles hover above grasp of masses. Society marginalizes cyclists because they act singularly. Critical Mass did raise awareness and inspired planning that led to action, in this case, cheap paint designating bike lanes in some cities where mayors understood. Labann has even painted own bike lanes at neglected sites and pointed out pavement oversights on bikeways by circling them with temporary highlights.

Like city planners, composers, craftsmen and wordsmiths assemble elements. Artists and authors, on the other hand, derive visions out of interactions in moments, new memes, and old tropes. Literary artists cannot create from nothing, take tiny fragments of own life to weave into narratives without, necessarily, malicious intents. Though developed experientially, B&C extrapolated logically and passed along input from sportifs who learned the ropes. Companion Reader complements referentially and expands upon appendices. Believe it wise to advise whence text derives rather than simply let readers surmise. Barely acceptable products are an amalgam of many components and contributors. Anything of value comes from cooperation and distribution in tandem with individual determination.

Fabric of life benefits from varying strands, from emotionally intelligent to physical strong to spiritually pliant. Never beloved and seldom liked is anyone who shocks others awake with heartfelt honesty. A poet can capture vibrant insights though likely stands to be dismissed, hated or ignored until all goes wrong and policies fail to go along. No system withstands very long, not even quatorzain sonnets 14 stanzas strong. You can tolerate incompetence in many fields, but not government. Unfortunately, that’s where it’s most prevalent. There's nothing quite like song as a sweet caress to soothe wounds endured while meeting demands in shifting sands; audiences devote short segments of their lives to those they choose to hear.

Eric Knight’s orchestral piece The Great American Bicycle Race never made it onto B&C’s song list because no recording had been found. But according to a contemporary New York Times article, The Baltimore Symphony Orchestra recorded it in 1983. Knight, who was principal pops conductor of the orchestra, was commissioned to write “music to bike by” to commemorate the United States Professional Cycling Championship won by David Phinney that year. Performed live only once since by Philharmonisches Orchester Würzburg in 2014, can only imagine how its 6 minutes of bassoons, clarinets, piccolos, strings, and timpani sound. Knight described it as a rousing American fanfare, followed by a polka or galop (a duple time dance from 1820’s Paris) that represents movement. “It has a slow, bluesy middle section - I imagined this to represent them going very slowly uphill - and then it ends with a puff of smoke.”

John Farnham, Break The Ice, Rad [Soundtrack], Curb Records, 1986

Thanks go to Dinnos Demian, who recently updated an impressive 181 bicycle song list on Youtube. Majority were already listed in B&C, but found these 14 hitherto unknown on-point tunes below, more later. Not conversant in Greek, did not know ποδήλατο (podilato) meant bicycle. Further investigated best and cogent, skipped obscure, though worth a look. Historic wonderworker Saint Nicolas of Bari and Myra was a Greek, known now as jolly elf Santa so closely associated with holiday season. Foolish to forget how popular bikes could be on Greece’s 227 inhabited islands among 6000, especially given economic downturn over last decade. Another nation archipelago, Japan’s 6852 islands are likewise infested with jitensha, where Santa begins to unload all those wished for bicycles on his westward itinerary.

Kostas Makedonas, To podilato [Greek], Pame gia orthopetalies, Sony BMG Music, 1996

Aya Hisakawa, Ashita mo mata Jitensha (Bicycling Again Tomorrow) [Japanese], Sailor Moon [Soundtrack], Toei Animations Company, 1996
Hopeful personality image song depicting character Ami Mizuno, who becomes Sailor Mercury in hit TV anime series which spawned a media universe. Sailors are teens who become warrior defenders against evil villains. “Handles - Pedals - Brakes - Tires - Chainz: It’s all exceedingly logical. He's coming to show me his new trick on the bike he loves. What is it about it that appeals to him so much? Bicycle - Marvelous magic. It’s a little frustrating... I’m losing my breath... squeezing out my last bit of strength. The sky unfurling... The sun setting in the city below...  It was the first time I'd started riding downhill! Bicycle - Melting into the wind... His smiling face, the scenery around me... Bicycle - Wondrous magic!”

Aqua Timez, Jitensha (Bicycle) [Japanese], 「七色の落書き (Seven-colored Graffiti), Epic Records Japan, 2006 “Bicycle, my bicycle, I'll put you on it. The dream that we had... is for us. It ’s brilliant.”

Eleni Vitali, Το ποδήλατο (The bicycle) [Greek], Epta... Kai Na Prosecheis, Melody Maker, 2008

Pavlos Pavlidis & B Movies, Το ποδήλατο [Greek], Ayto to Ploio Poy Olo Ftanei, Archangel Music, 2010
“I saw you by chance riding your bike, You looked as if the world was made to be yours... Paradise is like a road that reaches you.”

Too Dumb To Die, Little Bike, single video, self, 2008
When this European band on a world tour by bicycle arrived in Japan, chance acquaintance Moku Teraoka shot a video.

Serafim Tsotsonis, Bicycles On Hudson (no bike lyrics), So This Is Heaven, Klik Records, 2011

Sisterkingkong, The Glory Is Lost [German in English], She Sees Wolves, VierSieben Records, 2011
No bike lyrics, band slow rides bikes throughout official video.

Giorgos Dimitriadis & Lakis Papadopoulos, Pare Podilato (Get a Bicycle) [Greek], single live, Minos-EMI SA, 2012

Killo Killo Banda, My Bike [Serbian reggae], Amongst the People, Phonofile Balkan, 2012
“I like to ride my bike... It gives me inspiration, a kind of meditation. It gives me comfort, the only way of transport... in this concrete meadow... You can never get me down. I’m the king of the clowns with a wheel as my crown.” Catchy.

Lucas Santtana feat. Féfé, Diário de uma bicicleta [Portuguese], Sobre Noites e Dias [About Nights and Days], No Format!, 2014
“You, me, us and our friends. Sun, grass, bicycles and whatever happens... My life on the pedal, slowly... Don't try not to overtake, friend. Face the gap. Here comes the bus. They don't scare me, but without experience and caution they’ll devour you.”

Sotiris Alexakis, The girl with the bicycle [Greek instrumental], single/video, self, 2018
Simple pleasures of pedaling seaside promenades into town at night.

Konstantinos Angelopoulos, Μπλε Ποδήλατο (Blue Bicycle) [Greek], single, self, 2017
“With my old blue bike, I'm looking for an unguarded border to escape the downhill, because its cost is unprofitable... wheel and my durable tire, life short or a quatrain?”

Jitensha, Under Control [Canadian folk], Periscope, self, 2019
“Don’t get emotional. You’ve got to ride it out. You got a long way to go. Relax. You got it under control... With every mile that passes, you start to understand. What once looked like a mountain can fit inside of your hand.”

Non Sequitur Hain

Unless a long view across a fenced hain or hallowed vista encourages corporal penance, climbing hardly seems worth hours of bodily pain and perils of speedy descents. Rather save strength to further distance. Years ago used to attempt double metric century rides for up to 8 hours. Things change as time passes; now slam hard for only 3 while distancing from disease by steering clear of cities. But where’s the fun in sequestering self? Tottering on a pandemic precipice one contemplates shifting priorities.

Same can be said about living with blinker blinders, ear plugs, and mask muzzles. If you don’t make what matters to you understood in no uncertain terms, you’ll be forsaken and mistreated. Likewise, if you accept blindly non sequiturs foisted upon you instead of assessing intelligently what’s been done and said, you suffer same old torments senselessly. Hear, see and speak surely. Be proud that over 150 million Americans, a record 66% of those eligible, braved contagion and ignored propaganda to cast a vote in 2020 election, but, ironically, timid mail-in ballots decided results.

Incumbent immediately attacked states where he was ahead on election day because he feared what might show up among absentee ballots also cast in record numbers. Commanding a lockstep small cadre, GOP never does as well when disenfranchised independents side with Democrats and results swell. The more disgusting the candidates, the better GOP does while gloating in their self fulfilling prophecies. Over eighty million Americans struck a genuine blow against tyranny by chipping in a half billion in donations >$20, designating Uncle Joe and Aunt Kam, and deposing a dictatorial narcissistic sociopath and national embarrassment with his fake facts, fake news, fake presidency, and soon fake broadcast network to continue his relentless attack against civil rights, democracy, inclusion, race, tolerance and women. Speaks volumes about incumbent when his supporters protested at polling places armed with assault rifles and intimidation tactics. Why wasn’t National Guard called in to protect count volunteers?

Fact that Earl Blumenauer is being considered as USDOT Director promises consideration for bicyclists, who recognize him as the sort who bikes to White House when summoned and secured Bicycle Commuter Bill. Maybe more of country will begin to resemble Portland, Oregon, which he represents in Congress. But a GOP Senate would probably block his appointment. Constructing bike paths is not enough; full bike infrastructure alongside motorways minimally meets existing guidelines. Blumenauer must’ve read Carlton Reid’s Bike Boom: The Unexpected Resurgence of Cycling (Island Books, 2017, 272 pp.). Like many observers, Forbes transportation editor Reid details contrasts in bicycling’s acceptance between Americans and Europeans. In answer, each European lives in a former city state, a compressed urban center commutable by bicycle surrounded by rural riding miles in which to recreate. Americans are spread from cities to farms across suburbia and vast plains accessible on cheap fuel prices and high taxation that built unsustainable roads as some sort of privileged welfare to construction bosses rife with graft and kickbacks. Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Dublin, London and Paris have many flat narrow lanes. Similar places in USA, such as Boston or New York City's boroughs, tend to have greater ridership than vast expanse of less populated continent, though biking also boomed in Bloomington, Minneapolis, Portland, Providence and Seattle, whose mayors are enlightened to alternatives. Distance and terrain impact bicyclists more than motorists, as well as economic class, given average cost of car ownership verges on $9,000/year, beyond reach of minimum wage workers even though some used beater can provide sketchy service for less. While roadnet incentivizes Americans, their perception of safety remains lower than Europeans.

After campaigning door to door, contributing for decades, and engaging in activism, Labann owes no one and watches from sidelines. In certain states voting is symbolic, since you can be assured of outcome beforehand. Sometimes all you do is neutralize opinion and normalize perception. Yet 2020's election cycle has been called bitterly divisive. Wonder why? Neither party ever makes promises or serves public, too busy padding own pockets and securing spots at sloppy trough. Either you’ll be abidin’ Biden until some humble hero rises to serve the common good, or stay stuck in a system too broken to set straight again. No country has meant more to entire world with class upgrade, fair trade, and foreign aid, but leadership is never made in the shade.

Labann’s strategy for only posting several paragraphs a handful of times each season, rather than repeatedly on some punitive schedule, provides for quality messages when they'll do least harm and most good. Plus essays give insights into their composition, as if metadata. Literary art appreciation isn't part of any advanced curriculum or social prerequisite. Critics, when not discussing prurient fictional plots, tout convincing nonfictional arguments, neither of which Labann indulges in, just explanations of all sides of any issue with no simple resolution, which precisely describes reality. A wide range of responses should always be expected in life as well as in movies, though baker’s dozen that follow seem tangled in today’s headlines.

German language masterwork of Hitler’s last 12 days, Downfall (Oliver Hirschbiegel, dir., 2004) stirred recent controversy when a BP technician used a meme from movie to describe poorly conducted labor negotiations, which cost him his job. Courts overturned that decision. History seems to be in a time loop. Beset Berliners are bicycling around bomb craters scurrying for shelter, while Hitler (Bruno Ganz) is blaming and sacking staff members for his own failures, His secretary, Traudl Junge (Alexandra Maria Lara), who narrates story, sneaks Peter, a Nazi youth street fighter decorated by Adolf himself, past a Soviet blockade and steals a bike so they can escape.

Diana (Uma Thurman, Kill Bill) still has PTSD decades after a terrorist teen shoots up her public high school. Otherwise, The Life Before Her Eyes (Vadim Perelman, dir., 2008) as an adult seems pretty good. College professor husband Paul (Brett Cullen) bikes to classes and daughter Emma (Gabrielle Brennan) attends parochial school. Together they enjoy a mostly pleasant life in a gardened home in an upscale neighborhood. Oops, it’s all a dream. Dee as a teen (Evan Rachel Wood) in good conscience can’t let her bestie confidante Maureen (Eva Amurri) choose to die to save her, an existential ordeal many face on a daily basis, while few appreciate sacrifices made.

Sad schoolmarm Anna (Christina Ricci) crashes her car after a spat with fiancé Paul (Justin Long), and winds up on an embalmer’s slab. Is she dead? She has several conversations with mortician Eliot (Liam Neeson). Line is blurred between actual life and After Life (Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo, dir., 2009). Either Eliot is a serial Kevorkian hastening unwilling victims out of their corporeal skin or sympathetic listener uncannily helping souls to make this transition. On the other hand, Anna’s student Jack (Chandler Canterbury), who Eliot takes under his wing, is an obvious fan of death. While biking by his favorite haunt, Eliot’s funeral home, he sees Anna upright, and warns Paul only to incite panic. Later Jack buries a hen chick alive, flagging his nascent sociopathy. Solution to sparing pain is not terminating life. Every heartbeat is another second vibrant with potential.

Scumbag grifters Alan (Jake Sandvig) and Ben (Jason Ritter) steal bicycles from a school yard for fun and support themselves in a house with an in-law apartment by felonious means, such as boosting cars and snatching purses. Alan’s sister Melanie (Rebecca Hall), a stalwart waitress at Waffle House, disapproves. Just because they were born with a A Bag of Hammers (Brian Crano, dir., 2012), they figure they can scam everyone in Fresno. They rent apartment to short tempered single mom Lynette (Carrie Preston), who’s so depressed she can’t feed son Kelsey (again, Chandler Canterbury, nominated for a Young Artist Award), and desperate, she kills herself. Suddenly Alan and Ben are faced with a choice between freeloading amorally and taking responsibility for Kelsey. In a Bike&Chain moment, they man up for once. Critics hated Crano’s first feature dramedy, but its message of less broken helping like needy is heartwarming compared to gratuitous violence that so often passes as entertainment.

Autumn Wanderer (Nathan Sutton, dir. and star, 2013) has boy Charlie (Sutton) meet girl Nia (Elisha Skorman). But his dream encounter has no future. Charlie knows schizophrenia is inherited, dad has it full blown, and he’s not about to inflict such misery upon someone he cares about. Film is remarkable not only for depicting mental illness with quiet dignity instead of slasher cues, but producing on a bare shoestring with film studio values. However, sociopathies sometimes rise to highest office and trigger atrocities. 

Another timely message, The Quiet Season (Brandon Neubert, dir., 2013), endorses November dusks in a lovely, spot on, 7 minute short that any bike commuter knows so well as brilliant glorious hours among otherwise drab green jaunts. Lisa Neubert rides alone to Great Salt Lake outside Ogden, Utah, and not only composed and performed its music, she wrote and narrated its prose. If only candidates would settle into this interregnum so serenely. For 5 minutes of pure immersion into urban bicycling culture, check out this Bicycle Film Festival montage. Recognize only a few from its dozens of sources.

Alone in Berlin (Vincent Pérez, dir., 2016) has working class couple Brendan Gleeson and Emma Thompson secretly leaving postcards that denounce Nazi government and urge civil disobedience after they lose their son, who was conscripted into army during WWII. Number of bicyclists shown riding former Reich rivals today’s Paris. Gestapo agent (Daniel Brühl) assigned task of hunting down culprits is beaten by superiors after being stymied for 3 stealthy years. Based on forgotten real heroes Elise and Otto Hampel, who were guillotined for their resolve to oppose tyranny.

Indie black comedy Laundry Day (Randy Mack, dir., 2016) draws lowlifes to a New Orleans dive bar laundromat, Suds and Duds, where a fight breaks out. Film covers each participant’s perspective - corrupt bartender Bart (Billy Slaughter), homeless busker Natalee (Samantha Ann), incompetent dealer Ethan (Dave Davis), and self-destructive musician Dee (Kerry Cahill) - from events leading up to incident, during which each is involved in bicycling, none as humorous as Ethan, who attends a job interview with supplier’s go-between on a pedicycle. When Bart crashes his bike and winds up arriving hours late, havoc has already broken out in bar. Dee wouldn’t have gotten an expensive ticket had she carried her instruments on a bike trailer to sing for tips. Natalee crosses paths with all three while dodging authorities.

Period drama 1945 (Ferenc Török, dir., 2017) deals with aftermath of Nazi Holocaust. Two Jewish survivors, father and son, arrive unexpectedly to a rural Hungarian town. Stationmaster questions them, then rides off on his bike to warn villagers. Folks fear visitors have come to reclaim property they’ve illegally seized and react badly. A wedding is cancelled when groom bolts. Bride burns down bourgeois pharmacy of hateful in-laws. One villager hangs himself out of remorse. The Hermanns just want to repatriate what little remains of their incinerated loved ones - baby shoes, garments, and toys - in the family’s cemetery plot. Stationmaster, busy spying on them upon his bike throughout, passes them as they trudge back to train.

Stranger Things (Matt and Ross Duffer, dirs., 2018) have occurred in Indiana than a 2020 Democratic win. Back in fictional 1980’s in this Sci Fi television series, small fictional town Hawkins harbors a secret DOD paranormal laboratory. When kid named Will goes out at night on his bike and winds up missing, his buddies, Dustin, Lucas and Mike, search for him by bike. They find Eleven, a psychokinetic girl authorities are looking for who can flip a van.

Surviving Blackwood sisters Constance (Alexandra Daddario) and Mary Katherine (Taissa Farmiga) reassure themselves, We Have Always Lived in the Castle (Stacie Passon, dir., 2018), after poisoning deaths of their parents go unsolved. Town gave up trying to solve mystery after Constance is acquitted. Ladies in mansion atop hill overlooking village draw intense resentment and suspicions, which they both abide until cousin Charles (Sebastian Stan) shows up and tries to split them up, though his interest is only in what money he can take from their safe. Vicious kids on bikes taunt them, and turn to flee like little girls when confronted. Sisters have no need of telephone or transportation, since they so infrequently leave castle, even after left in ruins by a fire.

The Burnt Orange Heresy (Giuseppe Capotondi, dir., 2019) has vicious art dealer Joseph Cassidy (Mick Jagger) hiring ambitious critic James Figueras (Claes Bang) to steal a particular masterpiece from enigmatic and reclusive artist Jerome Debney (Donald Sutherland). Debney lives in a ramshackle bungalow in a sequestered corner of Cassidy’s magnificent Lake Como estate a short bicycle ride for Figueras. Title might as well been ripped from election headlines.

Recent RA.com ad has a women with rheumatoid arthritis riding a bicycle that disintegrates along a bike path, signaling damage disease does to joints. Stands out among many Giant and Specialized ads in that it’s not about selling wheels on backlog. 

Another unusual spot follows a biking kid, who later becomes a paperboy, then a young man gone a courting on same BMX, while toying with Daisy Bell lyrics suggesting best use of an outgrown bike is donating it to Goodwill, which means it’s a bicycle built for two or more. Time for an adult tandem! Of course, all bikes impact not only buyers but employees who manufacture them when not furloughed, material miners, road builders, taxpayers, shop owners, transportation workers, and whoever else gets involved in supply chain. Skyrizi psoriasis medicine commercial has sufferer mountain biking across dunes.

Voting Grein

Any internet search sends you around globe for another dozen examples of songs relating to bicycling from everywhere, listed below by year of release. Makes you wonder whether they care what happens here. They ought to. Bad US policy has a chilling effect on many countries.

Bicycling moves so slowly you take in everything: Business, environment, money, planet, politics and religion. Most distressing has always been conservatives who are anti-green, bio-hostile, coal enamored, fossil fuelish, science denying self serving shams obligated to oil oligarchs and pleonectic plutocrats. Just about everything wrong with bikenet and roadside roulette can be blamed on their political threat. Liberals say straight out they’d accommodate everyone independent of their transportation choice, though they fail to convince neocons, who want to keep trillion dollar revenue stream for themselves, so stifle your voice. In America barely enough excess is spilling to make life a success for those willing to overlook mess and withstand stress.

On Election Day in America, networks predictably run relevant films, such as comedy The Campaign, or horror The Purge: Election Year. Included among them was Attack of the Giant Leaches, which better describes candidates. Used to be that citizens were passionate about casting ballots, voted grein yearning to be surrounded by things green in all senses they mean. But government’s been rigged so whoever gets in does the same, keeps those on top in control, while working slobs pay the toll.

Toquinho no Mundo da Criança, A bicicleta [Brazilian], Toquinho e suas canções preferidas, Paradoxx Music, 1996
Tracked down original details and recent video. “B-I-C-I-C-L-E-T-A. I’m your bike friend. I'm the one who keeps you company around, between, streets, avenues, at the edge of the sea. I go with you to buy and help you enjoy popsicles, gum, figurines and comic books. I spin the wheel and time turns and it's time to go back. For that to happen you just have to pedal me.” Goes on to explain how adults adopt bikes for other reasons, like weight loss.

Colin Meloy made a recent video that acts out lyrics of 2001 ballad Apology Song, previously listed under his Portland band’s The Decemberists. “I'm really sorry Stephen, but your bicycle's been stolen. I was watching it for you til you came back in the fall. I guess I didn't do such a good job after all... bet she's on the bottom of the Frenchtown pond rudely abused on some hesher's joyride.” Interestingly, recently reviewed a film called Hesher, a term that describes an anarchist who only wants to burn and trash world.

Spinvis, Bagagedrager [Dutch, Luggage Rack], Bagagedrager EP, self, 2002
"...no matter how you hold your handlebars, the wind comes through your gloves, your fingers are numb. There’s always something that paralyzes you... It keeps haunting your head. It was a long time ago, an eternity, you were riding on the Afsluitdijk [a long seaside causeway atop a dike in Holland], and I don't know how you feel about it now.”

The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir, Topsy Turvy, I Bet You Say That To All The Boys, Fashion Brigade, 2003
“You're in two minds; you can't decide... She wants you all to herself. She won't share, and everyone is pulling you, pulling on your hair... I know this world is topsy turvy. I know this world has lost its mind. You’re riding your bicycle through town. You’re riding your bicycle across town. You’re riding your bicycle. Don't fall! If I tell you how I worry... 'Cause I know this world is topsy turvy.”

Ketchup Mania, Bicycle [J-pop], Just in Lust, Groove Drunker Rec., 2004

Vanessa da Mata, Bicicletas, Bolos e Outras Alegrias [Brazilian, Bicycles, Cakes and Other Joys], Bolos e Outras Alegrias, Sony Music Ent., 2010
Brazilian star known as just Vanessa offers up a little sympathetic magic for emotional ills of contagion. “Go, Didi, go buy milk and sugar at the nearest grocery store. Want cornmeal cake, but it doesn't help. Go by bike, by bike... Who said that sugar and affection cannot cure? Grandma said it was perfection, tradition and evolution. It was the cake that everyone liked... Brings love in three days or your money back.”

Adrian Lux, Strawberry (Radio Edit) [Swedish in English], Strawberry EP, Merlin - Ultra Music, 2008
Character voiced by Rebecka Rolfart rides a bike nearly throughout, except when plastering Adrian with title fruit.

Zoe Boekbinder, Typewriter Girl, Artichoke Perfume, self, 2010
Portrays a short productive life of cycling office worker: “...a typewriter girl born on the first day of summer in 1928... rides into work on her bicycle every day. She types out every letter of every word that everybody did say... on the first day of summer in 1948... under the wheels of a cable car did break.”

BC Unidos, Bicycle feat Shungudzo (Carli Remix), single, self, 2017
“Set the street on fire, all I need is two tires on my bicycle. Riding on my bicycle... I don’t plan stopping for the traffic light... If I reach a curb I’ll just bunny hop... There’s no place in the world I won’t cycle to."

Tequila e Montepulciano Band, La bicicletta [Traditional Italian], Viva l'Italia, Vol.7 (La bottarella), Musicomania Produzioni Discografiche, 2017

Ani DiFranco, Do or Die, Do or Die, Righteous Babe Rec., 2020
Anti-petroleum, politically active DiFranco has no bicycle lyrics in new album title track, but bikes a considerable amount in official video. Shaving her head means mama’s gone to war with a timely message. “Do or die, cuz yankee doodle dandy didn’t feel free once, so he used his pen to pick the locks. And yankee doodle dandy did some doosey kinda carpentry when he fashioned that ballot box. And if you think your vote doesn’t matter, then you’re not paying attention. Yes, everything they do, they do to keep you from their invention.” Given her consistent activism, Ani was sought out for an interview by Amy Goodman of Democracy Now.

Burning Bicycles, Moonlight, single, self, 2020
No bike lyrics, but video is entirely about bicycling around Queens, NYC at night.

Cranks Complain

“Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.” Barry Goldwater, Conservative Presidential Candidate, 1964
Conservatives are, "A fanatical neo-fascist political cult in the GOP, driven by a strange mixture of corrosive hatred and sickening fear, who are recklessly determined to either control our party, or destroy it.” Thomas Kuchel, Republican Senator, 1966

Political partisans constitute an arc from radical left across varying shades of socialist to liberal, through majority of centrists or moderates, to conservatism, fascism and nadir of insanely radical right whence majority oppression, nuclear destruction, social ruin, and terrorist acts. No one who holds such views wants to acknowledge these gradients, because a) it’s too complicated to exploit, b) means compromise and disagreement, and c) won’t get own spoiled way of divide to conquer. Most religions encourage conservatism, espouse fascism, preach tolerance but profit off pestilence, unrest, and war, and side with whoever mentions pro-life despite murdering opponents daily. Fascism is embraced by ego, evil, fear, mental defect, misogyny, patriarchy, prejudice, privilege, sociopathy, supremacism, and xenophobia. America’s Supreme Court now has a 6 to 3 conservative quorum. England’s Parliament has been plagued by conservatism for decades, as has US Senate. MAGA mimics slogan (Make Italy Great Again) of Mussolini’s march to Machiavellian micromanagement and murderous purges.

Surprises that sane people don’t collect names of fascists and list them on line, since they pose the biggest threat to global annihilation. They blame everyone else for their own greed, mistakes, sedition and vices, “You forced me to commit atrocities!” Little wonder an anti-fascist movement has been started to counteract neo-nazis. You may be told you’re entitled to your own moderate opinion, but dare to express it aloud and you’ll be attacked, ostracized, or possibly assassinated for it. For evidence just look to mindlessly vicious social media trolls. But to participate in blog comments, bulletin boards, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Reddit, Twitter or whatnot proves you’ve got loose screws short circuiting your neural network. No good has ever come from associating yourself with lunatics on any level. Such outlets let the 25% with personality disorders and raw nerves dance exposed, harmless and possibly healthful amusements, but not to be joined lightly or taken seriously.

CBS does list a few dozen C-list celebrities who support incumbent, suitably including cast members from shows Clueless and Pawn Star along with a smattering of millionaire sports has-beens. Many times more have distanced themselves during months of social distancing. An A-list multitude endorse opponent only to dump a despot and rid themselves of an embarrassment.

Government exists because asshats take too much, will kill to get ahead, and won’t settle for decency and wellbeing of entire community. While many resent taxes, consider what they’re buying: Aid to least fortunate, disease control, drug oversight, food inspection, garbage collection, fire/police protection, national security, paved streets, waste sanitation, water that won’t kill you. Only a billionaire could otherwise afford these absolute necessities. Most take it all for granted, which is stupid, since each has broken down in many communities in recent past. Worst enemy of the average individual is not a foreign führer but some bastard close to home: Corporate raider, corrupt official, robber baron, stealthy sellout, uncaring traders who are all traitors wearing tailored suits and ties. Letting them commit unchecked crimes created current crises. Public rather buy into fictions about a solitary boogeyman that transfers blame from real culprits. Can include a fat billionaire president who wants another term after boasting about a lackluster GDP performance shored by domestic policy of predecessor’s administration, and unilaterally dismantling many safeguards, thus ushering in a pandemic which has sent economy into a nosedive. POTUS 45 has no legacy to speak of, but he wasn’t solely responsible. GOP controlled senate has had the final say in policy for decades. Conservatism is folly en masse, group dementia, reckless faith in capitalist self interest at the expense of decency and social justice. Voters evaluate a smirk and wink, forget incompetent track record, loathe any change including improvements, let themselves be led by empty promises, and never get how bad leadership and policies pulled rug out from under them as they pencil in or pull lever for party in entirety.

So-called ultra-left hippies, long since extinct, pose zero threat. Post disco survivors dropped out and formed communes apart from mainstream, mimicking Amish and Mennonite farmers. Leftish majority may complain sporadically, remind people of contracts and duties, sometimes march around in solidarity, but such behaviors are innocuous to anyone but control freaks and criminal bosses. Yet working within a corrupt system simply corrupts, so anyone who exercises human right to participate in policy formation runs a risk of seduction. Civilization only exists because many take chances and trust others. Mindlessly conforming to expectations and regulations will kill you. Counterculture of the 60’s recognized that forsaking consumerism, returning to nature, and simplifying lifestyles would increases civilization’s chances of carrying on. Socialism has been a fact of American life since FDR’s New Deal; its entitlements of retirement and welfare were long secured by participant payments, just as recently added health insurance pays as you go with sketchy expectations of someday getting repaid in need.

Movies can be commercial mind rot, exist only for profit motives, and not always be worth your time. Distinctions blur among biopics, documentaries, features, and shorts; facts are presented, messages communicated, narratives delineated, points made, and tales spun more or less equally. Honesty is not an entertainment requirement. Labann tries to focus only on those in which a cast member actually rides a bicycle as a story element, passing over mere depictions of ubiquitous bicycles, which randomly appear in many films set in modernity. At the moment, how films affect political thinking weighs heaviest, since propaganda has long been associated with all forms of media. A long debate has never been resolved; since advertising has been shown effective getting consumers to buy stuff they don’t need, how gullible to specious logic and susceptible to violent urges does story content make audiences?

In Parisian comédie noire À la folie... pas du tout (To madness... or not at all, Laetitia Colombani, dir., 2003), aka He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, art student Angelique (Audrey Tautou) passionately loves cardiologist neighbor Loic (Samuel Le Bihan). She pedals her vintage Motobecane to shops to buy him gifts, and writes love notes. Problem is Loic has no idea who she is, is faithfully married, and wife Rachel (Isabelle Carré) is expectant. Angelique is an erotomaniac (sounds suitably filthy and French) with an excessive impulse for being in an all consuming affaire d'amour, which targets and torments Loic to a bad end for all, especially those who dare to intervene. Where did Angelique ever get such ideas? Idealized screen romances?

Set in 1950’s Ontario, misfit Catholic high-schooler Ralph Walker (Adam Butcher) gets into so much trouble harsh headmaster Father Fitzpatrick forces him to join team run by coach Father Hibbert (Campbell Scott). Ralph’s dad died in WWII and mom’s ill, but nobody cuts him any slack and repeatedly threatens to expel. Saint Ralph (Michael McGowan, dir., 2005) sees youngster train with bicycling friend Chester, who drags him around by rope, then Hibbert, who paces him by bike, to run in 1954 Boston Marathon. Ralph figures a win will be the miracle that awakens mom from her coma. Dismal tearjerker comes to a rousing conclusion when Ralph comes in second and revives her by giving her his silver medal. Pure fiction, youngest marathon runner ever to place or win was an 18 year old Kenyan. Labann has biked marathon route, which used to be a popular pre-race pastime on Patriots Day mornings before 2013 terrorist bombing at finish. Next marathon is postponed at least until Autumn of 2021, date to be announced.

Recall view from bus, Further, of destination New York City and 1965 World’s Fair in Magic Trip (Alex Gibney, Allison Elwood, filmmakers, 2011) about Ken Kesey, Neal Cassidy, and their Merry Pranksters cruising America. “Being on the bus was like being in an aquarium looking out...” at gawkers including a street vendor on a tricycle. Kesey’s reputation consists of an All American jock gone wrong by promoting unproductive personal experimentation after volunteering for CIA psychological tests. Taking all that LSD freed Ken from any desire to think cogently, though he continued to write and published one novel afterward among anthologies of essays and short stories. Authors get accepted by being slightly ahead of readers, not transcending this relationship on a quest of unfathomable space-time to which few can relate. Having passed The Acid Test meant graduating beyond dogma that suffocates and need to repeat processes. At least he had been heard, unlike millions of boomers who allowed themselves to be sucked back into machine and survived to testify. But who could live a free lifestyle without a royalty trust fund, and who wants to be known as a dropout slacker anyway? Anyone else with such a resume would have to resort to crime, because nobody hires admitted druggies with long gaps in productivity.

Micro-budget multiple award winning drama Short Term 12 (Destin Daniel Cretton, dir., 2013) has social worker Grace (Brie Larson, Captain Marvel) bicycling throughout between a sloppy flat and a temporary shelter to help troubled teens. She lives with scruffy coworker Mason (John Gallagher, Jr., Tony winner) who loves her despite her desperate past. Nate (Rami Malek, Mr. Robot) joins staff to help Marcus (Lakeith Sanfield) graduate out to a fairly normal life with a girlfriend and job in an aquarium after a suicide attempt. There’s no logic in altruism or empathy practiced daily by mental health workers, nurses in emergency wards, and such everyday heroes without whom society would collapse. Academy snubbed excellent performances because box office leverage in mega-millions is all they admire. Being rich is no measure of character.

Cousins raised as siblings Chloe (Krysta Rodriquez) and Vivien (Aimee Teegarden) inherit their aunt Isabelle’s (Linda Lavin) Bakery in Brooklyn (Gustavo Ron, dir., 2016). Chloe is a chef, palate and soul behind a television cooking show. Bicyclist Vivien just wants to enjoy Europe on a long planned vacation in this sappy romcom. At first, neither wants to be saddled with an old school boulangerie mortgaged to the tin tile ceiling. But banker can’t seem to carry out foreclosure after he tastes their tarts, and keeps boss at bay by helping get their century old shop listed on Historic Register. Family, promises, respect comprise duct tape and Post-it adhesive that hold civilization together, although people think machine guns whenever they hear civilization mentioned.

Go-along conditioning and habitual substance abuse have negatively impacted public’s ability to think critically. If your vote actually counted, you wouldn’t be allowed to. Millionaires aren’t the sole cause of society’s ills any more than poor account for national debt. However, any class but middle class is a detriment, sucks vitality from system, and transfers wealth upwards. Excessive saving or spending other than for necessities and sensible purchases denies livelihoods and diverts money. Eliminating debt would slow inflation and stiffen economy against recession. Devoting resources to value adding industries - agribusiness, manufacturing, mining - instead of pandering to what people want - addictive substances, distractive entertainment, pain abatement, sexual gratification - sounds responsible, but won’t expand industrial sectors, improve diversity, provide occupations for all skillsets, remain safe, or sustain society, since industry to date meant excessive carbon emissions and waste mountains. How cars and cigarettes harm environment has already been measured. Tax code let its worst evader in history become president, so only provides a solution when enforced without discrimination. Too-big-to-fail strategies steal from struggling masses to preserve a small number of privileged positions. Bank bailouts were greeted with big executive bonuses, while Job Bill around since 1990 never got discussed in Congress. Unless system of government works to increase middle class it isn’t worth preserving.

Bicyclists know how to cram everything they need into tiny bags. Paragraphs thus compartmentalized become interlocked jumbles. Apologies for being cranky at a crucial juncture. Life is convoluted, messy and twisted. Why should movie viewers expect everything neatly wrapped up in 90 minutes? Labann began commenting on bicycling culture in 1990 having lived within it since 1950, and still hasn’t revealed all that underlies it. A simple spin outdoors for fresh air and fun touches on everything under the sun from absolute mismanagement to zero contentment with how planet is being run.

Zahir Bane

Jorge Luis Borges wrote a short story about The Zahir. For protagonist, it was a coin, but it could be anything, a bicycle in particular. "Tiny dot reveals all." Zahir is a physical object that embodies a psychological obsession and supernatural bane. Even ridding oneself of object does nothing to cure spiraling into abyss of its infinite connections to universe. Being lost in the funhouse of emotional and physical details is something in common with stars in each of the movies mentioned below.

Don (Don Black) has a crush on Alli (Allison Breckenridge), who invited him to her birthday party, but his car won’t start. His beautiful neighbor offers a pink bicycle with girly basket to ride Bicycle Lane (Jeffrey Ruggles, dir., 2009) amidst notorious LA traffic. Don’s on a mission, but spin across City of Angels with streets designed only for motorists is fraught with bedevilment.

BBC 4 aired an hour documentary called Ride of My Life (Robert Sullivan, dir., 2010) based on Robert Penn’s book It’s All About the Bike from same year, reviewed right after publication. Someone thought it important enough to post show on Youtube years later; so far three quarters of a million people viewed. Skims a century of history for audiences with attention deficit, and tours planet hand picking components for a perfect build. Penn is Labann on steroids: Deep pockets, multiple bikes, passion for craftsmanship, singularly obsessed, and two wheeled world tourist. His simple surmises on a coming bike boom sound prophetic several pandemics later. Choked up a bit in awe and envy of his day trip with Cinelli staff to Chapel of the Madonna del Ghisallo (patron saint of peloton) high above Lago Como, forever a bucket list biggie for bicyclists the world over, though now epicenter of European COVID, so beyond reach.

HBO documentary Hard Times: Lost on Long Island (Marc Levin, dir., 2011) is a long therapy session among citizens desperately trying to cope with ageism, bankruptcy, joblessness, and residence eviction due to economic downturn caused by Dubya Bush’s presidency and Republican Senate. One possible suicide victim relied on family backing and took bolstering spins by bicycle around his beloved Levittown suburb. Of those who were interviewed, he alone was offered a new position well into Obama’s term, once domestic policies were revived. At least one who died no longer had to fear belongings being turned out onto curb and imminent homelessness as millions of others. Story puts a human face on policy betrayal.

Family of convicted monster Simon Fairbairn leaves England in 1968 for dark isolation in remote coastal Maine. Mother Rose and 4 siblings, Jack (George MacKay) the eldest, revert to mom’s maiden name, Marrowbone (Sergio Sánchez, dir., 2017), and settle into her dilapidated ancestral home. Mom tries to stay alive long enough to assume ownership herself, then transfer to Jack after he turns 21, and thereby keep siblings safe together, but she doesn’t make it. Jack fraudulently conducts family’s business keeping a low profile by riding to distant village by bike. But dad escapes prison and tracks them down, while lowlife lawyer tries to blackmail family out of loot never recovered. Nearest neighbor Allie (Anya Taylor-Joy), who cares for Jack, sorts out sordid details.

Television miniseries Manhunt: Unabomber (Andrew Sodroski, Jim Clemente, and Tony Gittelson, creators, 2017) follows FBI profiler James Fitzgerald (Sam Worthington) whose innovative approaches helped bring a 1996 close to a 20 year reign of terror perpetrated by Theodore Kaczynski (Paul Bettany). Neo-Luddite Kaczynski randomly sent bombs to persons he assumed were promoting socialist viewpoints or technological advancements, both of which he mistrusted and misunderstood. Despite an estimated IQ of 168, he couldn’t even accurately define socialism in his ridiculous ecofascist manifesto. Just to prove all bicyclists aren’t benevolent, Kaczynski only biked back and forth from his off-the-grid Montana cabin to village in Lincoln to pick up supplies and send mail bombs, thereby hiding his identity long enough to injure or kill 26 innocent victims. While threads of sanity twist through his published rant, entire fabric is best described as paranoid schizophrenia, much like Fox News, and proved his downfall once Fitzgerald applied linguistic analysis. Fox insanely harps on Hillary and Hunter as if they were candidates, when neither has any influence in this election cycle, unlike woefully unqualified Donny, Eric, Ivanka, and Jared, who conduct national business in name of POTUS 45. Experts agree lion’s share of domestic terrorism is due to neocon nationalism or theocratic radicalism inciting suicidal minion.

After Class (Daniel Schechter, dir., 2019), aka Safe Spaces, has NYC humanities professor Josh Cohn (Justin Long) using bike share to reconnect with family and visit grandma in hospital while defending his reputation over an alleged classroom indiscretion. When countrymen have no hope of gainful employment they become dishonestly vicious and increasingly litigious. Lifetimes of excellent service, good deeds and indubitable loyalty are forgotten.

Based on personal history, self produced on 10 years of savings, indie drama Borderline (Anna Alfieri, dir., 2019) has bicyclist Anna (Alfieri herself) and Robyn (Agathe Ferré) break up after a sapphic affair of sultry cuddling and cycling together. Anna can’t deal with their separation, and succumbs to borderline personality disorder, dark depression, feelings of worthlessness, and worse perdition trying to replace what she had. Breakups are common with BPD. Negates old saying, “Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved.” In her real life in London, Anna claims Pink Floyd’s music saved her. “Art or love? Can a writer have both?” Or either, asks Labann.

Action thriller 6 Underground (Michael Bay, dir., 2020) has five untraceable agents with erased identities led by One (Ryan Reynolds) on their first mission together in Florence, Italy, where they destroy antiquities and mow down bystanders including several nuns on bicycles. Makes you wonder who’s worse, heroes or villains, though this morality meme is often repeated as part of a regular agenda. Fictional antihero Hancock nearly leveled LA.

Originated in 2008 Yowamushi Pedaru (Weakling Pedal) is an expansive Japanese manga series (films, graphic novels, and television) by Wataru Watanabe, replete with original punk tunes by LASTGASP and ROOKiEZ is PUNK'D. Plot focuses on anime character Sakamichi Onoda, a skinny otaku (obsessed anime fan) who shows up at Sohoku High School on a nerdy mamchari (bulky and sturdy mommy’s bike) to classmate derision. He’s looking to resurrect school’s anime club, but serious cyclist Shunsuke Imaizumi notices how easily he climbs steep hills without fancy equipment, so convinces him to join competitive cycling team instead. Was a shame to overlook this series, as 2020 sees a second live action film directed by Kôichirô Miki starring Ren Nagase as Onoda. Now it’s Osaka headquartered Shimano Dura Ace and Ultegra components and titanium frames, among world’s best, though manufactured elsewhere.

Tailer for upcoming German documentary Verplant: How Two Guys Try to Ride a Bike to Vietnam (Waldemar Schleicher, dir., 2021) follows director and Matthias Schneemann, neither with any touring experience, on an epic adventure begun in August of 2018 before pandemic. Suffering is still good for the soul unless it saps spirit and will. 

Based on fact, John’s Bicycle (Colin Riendeau, dir., c. 2020) was likewise a quest to cross continents, in this one from France to India, but found an impossible love interest along the way. Will this ill fated couple, city Quebecois and country Greek, abandon all they’ve known for love, or settle back into a their separate disappointments? Seems production on this fable stalled due to COVID; website claimed it would be out last March. Indie films are generally introduced at festivals, so might be withheld until some are staged.