Who’s Jermaine?

Mr. Jackbunny, who claims it’s his fixation, put together this Youtube video with 24 cycling snippets from feature films, 18 not previously listed in B&C. A cordial kudos is in order. His inspiration was slow moving drama Barbara (Christian Petzold, dir., 2012). East German doctor (Nina Hoss), who in 1980 asks for an exit visa to be allowed to emigrate West, gets punished by assignment to a small village hospital, where she is both seduced and spied upon by a fellow pediatrician (Ronald Zehrfeld). Tensions mount as she is monitored, restricted, strip searched, and tormented as a persistent suspect, though she indeed plans to flee and meet her fiancé, who has given her enough cash to pay a coyote. She fixes up a bicycle to commute alone, elude totalitarian oversight, and make dash to extraction point. But freedoms demand sacrifices from someone.

For Labann, collecting references is more an avenue to awareness and entry to myriad ideas and new perspectives. Any handle is better than none in an input maelstrom. Deceptive or honest notwithstanding, motion pictures are marvelous mirrors of contemporary culture. Merely citing a movie is never enough; goal is to explain its relevance without spoiler alerts. Critics must decide how much bicycling a movie includes to merit mention. Although some might complain that Labann has few filters, do often skip when bikes aren’t germane to story, just passers-by riding or school kids locking onto a rack. Always try to find peak or unique recommendations, pass up films that don’t hint bicycling will be portrayed, and review any that do, though that often leads to dead ends and disappointments. Lists can be interim wasters or multiverse portals. Therefore, feel exceptionally compelled with no excuses to add explanations to Jackbunny’s extraordinary list of new examples along with others recently exhumed.

In teen feature The Karate Kid (John Avildsen, 1984), Ralph Macchio gets knocked off his Mongoose 24 by dirt bike bullies and swears to learn martial arts and protect himself after tossing crumpled bike into a dumpster. He’s overheard by aged sensei Noriyuki Morita, who offers to teach him. First lesson: Wax on, wax off. A black belt requires muscle memory, skill, and strength as would be gained through basic chores and cycling tours.

Back to the Future trilogy (Roger Zemeckis, 1984 - 1990) has several scenes that show bicyclists including peeping tom dad in Part I, and in Part II crazy inventor Christopher Lloyd trying to catch up with Michael J. Fox to whom he lent his car. Time travel films can spotlight just about anything, so squeals on wheels should be expected. Easy to offer a thrilling sensation by tracking cranking action from offscreen vehicles.

The Lost Boys (Joel Schumacher, dir.,1987) reveals a Santa Clara victimized by a gang of vampires. Won’t see any riding bicycles, but they do race around on motorcycles. It’s their teen hunter-slayers who ride in a BMX pack.

Cinema of Unease (Neill & Rymer, 1995) is the oddly named memoir of noted screen actor Sam Neill (Jurassic Park), who every week in boring Christchurch, New Zealand would pedal with zeal to local cinema, thus wheel to reel, fall lifelong in love with movie field for real.

Father and daughter John and Michelle Porter (Michael Gross and Hillary Swank, Academy Award Best Actress) return to his home town to settle affairs of his late mother. Collecting boxes at recycling center he see a kid’s bike and recalls when in childhood when he and his friend followed sister to a cave on their bikes, where demons killed her in a satanic ceremony. He electrocuted them, but Sometimes They Come Back... Again (Adam Grossman, dir., 1996). So he’s forced to finish task or lose lives of both daughter and self to their ongoing treachery. Grieving survivors have emotional issues to process. Britney Spears has been using a bicycle to find “me time” and reduce stress over her dad’s nearly fatal illness.

Teen son Drew (Tim Redwine) of Augmentor 1000’s inventor (Randy Quaid) and his posse enlist car thief Samantha (Jessica Alba, Dark Angel, Fantastic Four) and form P.U.N.K.S. (Sean McNamara, dir., 1999) to Protect the Underdog with Nerve, Knowledge and Strength and save his dad, who’s being exploited and literally worked to death by a corporate villain (Henry Winkler). Once Samantha helps them get suit that multiplies human strengths, Drew on his BMX activates device and outruns henchmen in an SUV on expressway. Target audience of teens probably don’t know that BMX’s can’t reach such speeds no matter who pedals them, though road bikes properly geared might, yet seldom outrun swag wagons driven dangerously behind.

Cocaine distributor Daniel Craig (James Bond) sorts through the Layer Cake (Matthew Vaughn, dir., 2004) of London underworld hierarchy rife with double dealing criminals. While setting up for a hit, his hired assassin homes in on an innocent bicyclist to decide best location to shoot from when time comes.

Turtles Can Fly (Bahman Ghobadi, dir., 2005) in war torn Iraq during Dubya’s Desert Shield. A smart teen bicyclist nicknamed Satellite (Soran Ebrahim) commands a ragtag army of starving Kurdish children to do whatever they must to subsist, including dodging land mines, rearranging television antennae, searching for a satellite dish to receive vital news, and unloading spent munitions from trucks. When his teenage girlfriend’s rape baby wanders into a minefield, he sacrifices area's only bike in an attempt to save him. Camp is thick with despair, especially after US forces pass through ignoring refugees on their way to debatable victory and wrong side of history.

Back in spoiled America, dimpled towhead Carol Lee (Ireland Rose Maddox) points to her holiday heart’s desire, a shiny new bike from Sears&Roebuck Catalog. Depression era want, WWII’s Day of Infamy, and worries over metal shortages conspire against it. Dad (Jace McLean) gives up trying to find one among downtown stores. Disappointment on her cherubic face is tear jerking, “Do letters to Santa get lost?” Then Santa’s little helper, lost mutt Mr. Christmas (Beth Brickell, dir., 2005), wanders off street into their lives. Will cost more than the $23.95 bicycle, only $3.00 down, but kids are content for the moment.

Director’s memoir of growing up on mean Queens streets purports to be A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (Dito Monteil, dir., 2006). Dito (Shia LaBeouf, Transformers), his dad (Chazz Palminteri), mom (Dianne Wiest, numerous major awards), and friends all lamely follow Antonio (Channing Tatum), an abused kid who grows up into a charismatic monster. Dito, who plans to go to California for a better life, finally splits after Antonio kills a couple of people, including, unintentionally, his own brother. Adult author Dito (Robert Downey Jr.) returns home to regret such influences and tend to family he left behind. Apart from a few incidental bicycles, can’t say why this bore inclusion.

Hot Fuzz (Edgar Wright, 2007) describes police constable Simon Pegg, who takes two fisted pistol fire from an angry schoolmarm on a bicycle. His partner Nick Frost doors her to squelch threat. Film allegedly introduces phrase, “OK, boomer,” but can’t be faulted for thousands of mindless repeats. According to this Outside article, 185,000 bicycles are stolen every year in USA alone. Makes you wonder who wants to defund police forces while such heinous criminality abounds.

Confusing, low budget, but luridly entertaining science fiction Timecrimes (Nacho Vigalondo, dir., 2007) has Héctor (Karra Elejalde) witnessing an odd occurrence across a field behind his isolated country home. Bicyclist Barbara Goenaga lures him into forest, where he gets stabbed trying to help her. Scientist Vigalondo had already sent Héctor back a few hours, which creates a paradox that he must resolve, so becomes his own assailant.

Con artists The Brother Bloom (Rian Johnson, dir., 2009) - Bloom Bloom (Adrien Brody) and Stephen Bloom (Mark Ruffalo) - target eccentric heiress Penelope (Rachel Weisz) for one last score by sending Bloom down a slope on a banana bike to fake an accident with Penelope’s sports car. Plan goes awry when he falls for her.

Spy spoof advises that you to Burn After Reading (Ethan & Joel Coen, 2008) memoirs of former CIA analyst John Malkovich. When disc falls into the hands of Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand, these two gym employees see a chance to make enough money for her to have life-changing cosmetic surgery. Yeah, good luck with that.

An Education (Lone Scherfig, dir., 2009) has a young woman seduced by a sophisticated man twice her age while they bike about Paris together. Rather than being repulsed and feeling used, she’s grateful for lessons she learns. Doesn’t sit well, more middle age fantasy, phony and wrong, unlike Nabokov’s Lolita.

For a span of 127 Hours (Danny Boyle, dir., 2010), adventurer, hiker, and mountain biker Aron Ralston (James Franco, Oscar Best Actor nominee) is literally caught between a rock and a hard place after falling into a crevice in Utah’s Canyonlands National Park. Having to drink own urine and extricate self by amputating arm seem cruel and unusual punishments for not letting anyone know where you’re going and testing your mettle against remote locations. Based on actual events, Aron learns to value every moment alive.

Teens ride bikes around Detriot contemplating The Myth of the American Sleepover (David Robert Mitchell, dir., 2010) and who to hook up with for a summer fling before going back to school. Girls including Claire Sloma just want to have fun. Or they could star in a feature film.

In romantic comedy Your Sister’s Sister (Lynn Shelton, dir., 2011), Mark Duplass abuses a ten speed, then sleeps with his deceased brother’s ex-girlfriend and her lesbian sister.

Only the Young (Elizabeth Mins & Jason Tippet, dirs., 2012), a mockumentary filmed in Santa Clarita, CA, a smalltime backwater without much to do, covers coming of age aspirations of bicycling and skateboarding buddies Garrison Saenz and Kevin Conway, and love interest Skye Elmore, as they drift into unproductive adulthood denied the American Dream. Didn’t Flobots sing, “I can ride my bike with no handlebars... it's good to be alive in such a small world.”

Superior Donuts comedian Jermaine Fowler (aka crossdressing Miss Mimi Teapot of Ru Paul’s Drag Race), Bike Between My Thighs (single, self, 2013): “I love my ride, good for exercise, cardiovascular, and my thighs. Plus it kills a lot of time. While you’re waiting for trains, I’m running through stop signs... I got robbed.” Is this a short sitcom or new musical entry?

A remarkable 2015 tourism ad for Destination Gstaad focuses solely on road cycling at this Swiss Alps ski resort town. What else is there to do when there’s no snow half of each year?

Super salesman Tom Hanks temporarily relocates to Saudi Arabia to demo A Hologram for the King (Tom Tykwer, dir., 2016), the next step beyond video conferencing. Efforts are hamstrung with broken promises and official postponements, so frustrations arise as well as opportunities to take in local culture. He’s reminded of being on the board of directors of USA based Schwinn, and having to tell 900 employees that all operations would be transferred to China, so they were all being laid off. Chinese went on to copy bike build technologies and manufacture several brands so cheaply they eliminated competitors. Unchecked greed will never be a good thing. He loses hologram contract to Chinese competitors. After Americans sold China biological techniques and viruses, they were saddled with a bioengineered pandemic and more joblessness. Offshoring to capitalize on slave labor invites unforeseen consequences. And bicycling culture must include brands and workers whose livelihoods depend upon policy makers, promoters and purchasers. 

Economic decline in Bavarian town of Wackersdorf (Oliver Haffner, dir., 2019) in 1980 threatens re-election bid for socialist county commissioner Hans Schuierer (Johannes Zeiler). Plans to build a nuclear plant amidst its played out mines sound like a mutual godsend. Buoyed by news, he leads his cigarette smoking, old Master+ Red cycling team through pristine countryside. But he begins to notice how forcibly state mutes criticism and suppresses dissent, likens it to Gestapo tactics. Expressing doubt and supporting resistance, he’s threatened further and winds up cycling alone as former friends forsake him. Being isolated and ostracized are what men of conscience should expect. Doesn’t take a genius to do what’s right, then Chernobyl occurs and makes you look like one. Based on actual events, won’t be the first or last time liberal partisans had to fight neocon nazis and their greedy tactics. But Wackersdorfers who bowed to intimidation warn world how easy it is to shut up and simply let the wealthiest few steal your future.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, dir., 2019) couldn’t help but recreate tricycling scene from The Shining (Stanley Kubrick, dir., 1980), where young Dave, rolling manically along halls of haunted Overlook Hotel, runs across ghastly twins girls who aren’t supposed to be there. Indoor cycling isn’t new, considering enclosed velodromes and fin de siécle venues, but you seldom hear much of it lately other than spin classes awaiting reopening as new COVID cases set record daily numbers and smart cyclists hit roads and wear masks.