Blaine or Blane?

Likewise, Rene and Riley can be either female or male names, but blaine means lean and blane means curiously yellow, summoning a slew of references including para-cycling World Championship and World Record Holder Blaine Hunt and indomitable spirit of late Swedish bicycling actress Lena Nyman. Any individual can sexually identify as either or neither with pride and without your permission. All have a right to choice in lifestyle matters... effeminate adverbs, nuance of nouns, pit of gender pronouns be damned. Homosexuality was legalized in catholic majority cycling crazed France during 18th Century. Ancient cultures included and other creatures still behave bisexually. Major contributors to culture and science throughout history were gay. Bible Old Testament disapproved in passing, so it’s been around forever, not a recent liberal invention. 

Private crimes and public behaviors do warrant scrutiny, especially among those who falsify records to hoodwink voters about amoral acts while promising cult followers to rob opponents, queers, transgenders, and women of their basic rights. Ways laws are enforced, indictments processed, and sentences given are infrequent and random; GOP is not hiring police or prosecutors, instead increasing tax cuts that would pay for both. Their Plan 2025 would reduce LGBTQIA+ to a subhuman species by recognizing only hetero gender from birth, among a series of nazi mandates excluding and persecuting everyone except white Trump loyalists.

Rebellious beatnik counterculture? Don’t confuse mid-1960’s protesters with flower power hippies, though some did cross over. Hippies hated violence visited upon vulnerable individuals, so banded together as a bulwark against brutality. Being apolitical, they evaded authorities, whose main interest was and will always be seizing power, which those disaffected didn’t threaten, and loathed personal responsibilities by dropping out and suspending resistance. Valuing freedom, kindness and peace blinded them to consequences of empty promises and false prophets. Without 20 million drifting parasites (one quarter of voter turnout nationally at the time) begging for scraps, drowning in drugs, forgiving political corruption, and retreating from confrontation, minority rule by cruel plutocrats never would have emerged from the cesspool of nation’s worst depravity and horror, cavernous greed hidden behind evangelical conservatism. Can’t dominate, enslave, or oppress without both mind control and unimaginable wealth.

As previously cited, some say MAGA slogan was lifted from a 1929 Mussolini speech, “...fellow citizens who are working to make America great,” but that would require study into history, something cult would rather purge than read. Melania since let it slip that Don directly plagiarized a Michelle Obama speech. Nevertheless, it’s really a law firm acronym that stands for Mammon, Abaddon, Grimoire & Astaroth, the demons who represent respectively temptations, mischief, powers, and false accusations. Indeed, it’s among those spiritually minded that evil incarnate casts his vile net; deplorable and willing transgressors are already legion.

RINOs are all in for Trump, a sociopath convicted of fraud and rape, further accused of espionage, extortion, money laundering, racketeering, and tax evasion; he only got into office because enough independents bought this babbling celebrity and his biased bullpucky. Depending upon when and who you ask, only 25% of voters affiliate with GOP, 33% affiliate with Democrats, while 36% are independents, fools who stand aloof without any representation, then feel neglected and get angry through their own fault. You get the service you pay for, which, in their case, is none. If you didn’t thrive on whatever Washington delivered over last 20 years before Biden, blame Boehner, Bush, GOP, McConnell, and Trump, since they either controlled presidency or senate throughout, thus instigated all these discredited and disreputable policies, and Independents for their lack of organized opposition.

Liberals demand democracy now; lowbrow conservatives own the franchise on hypocrisy. Wow! Americans aren’t free to do whatever they want, only what’s legal and responsible. Majority wants to preserve constitutional rights and pursue happiness. Conservatives want freedoms to commit crimes with impunity, enslave or imprison everyone else accusing them of what they do themselves. MAGA describes itself as anti-fascist, anti-regulation, Christian righteous, constitution preserving, law abiding, national patriotic, pro-life, public inclusive, and radically progressive when it’s exactly the opposite: criminal, false, homophobic, misogynistic, noninclusive, racist, reactionary, selfish, unconstitutional, and xenophobic. Few immigrants are as purely rotten as home grown offenders. Fox and Newsmax went mental when Obama saluted with a coffee cup in same hand and wore a tan suit; now they are doing damage control over their candidate’s civil and criminal convictions acting as if that’s no scandal at all. Double standards this bizarre and blatant just can’t be borne, though much has already been discussed as a source of entertainment rather than extreme threat beyond reckoning, because nobody can stand considering so serious a topic.

Americans don’t need jingoism and populism, humping Old Glory and repeating hollow slogans, nor self styled patriots who rebel without cause based on false flags from seditionist media. Politicians who feed upon fear and pride and promise results that only congress can deliver are big liars and fat phonies unworthy of your vote, one of citizens’ few controls over government. Unhappy with how things are? Be heard through a ballot for candidates free of fraud convictions, not hucksters likely lying to you.

Labann learned a lot, but no one mind can encompass all facts; takes humankind as a whole and scientific consensus. However, majority lacks the necessary foresight and willpower to forge forward. After plenty of analysis yielded useful insight, next steps should have been planning ahead and taking action. But folks rather ask a family member or friend on how to decide instead of applying logic, laboriously remembering, studying anew, and thinking through.

Neither diligent study nor rote repetition leads to omniscience, only direct revelation. Prophecy comes from dreams and meditations that expose subliminal input from a cornucopia of connections and decades of experiences stewed in unconscious undercurrents. Why not read more nonfiction? But deep text dives into conflicting data will always be intolerably uncomfortable for vast majority. Anyone clever can access all sorts of amusing tidbits and audience reactions to late night comedy sketches. Rather than of staying up to watch them live, studying while sober makes more sense. Bicycling and thinking require a reasonable night’s sleep.

Pointed out transportation alternatives for decades. Now millions of newbies have discovered bicycling for themselves and repeated same discoveries. Once reposted bike authors and their titles when few were to be found; now there are just too many to recount. Commercial websites do a better job than a casual blog at recommending more. Quod Erat Demonstrandum (abbreviated as Q.E.D.) is a Latin phrase that means literally "that which was to be demonstrated.” In normal English, this means, "Thus it is proven.” Mike drop!

Recently passed NBA hall-of-famer Bill Walton and Bjarne Rostaing, Bill Walton’s Total Book of Bicycling (Bantam, 1985, 367 pp.) enthusiastically covers bicycle types, cycling apparel, equipment maintenance, long history, physical fitness, racing lore, safety precautions, and touring strategies.

Daniel Shea and Jeremy Withers, Culture on Two Wheels: The Bicycle in Literature and Film (University of Nebraska Press, 2016, 376 pp.) collects 16 relevant essays.

Frank Angelo Cavaluzzi, Standing Cyclist: Flirting with Wisdom, One Breath, One Mile at a Time (ThirtyThree45 Media Group; 2016, 296 pp.)

Gestalten [editors] and Martijn Doolaard, One Year on a Bike: From Amsterdam to Singapore (Gestalten, 2017, 368 pp.)

Gestalten [editors] and Martijn Doolaard, Two Years On A Bike: From Vancouver to Patagonia (Gestalten, 2021. 416 pp.)

Gestalten [editors], Velo City (Gestalten, 2016, 256 pp.)

Eighty years after D-Day, facts have emerged on the role of bicycling resistance preparing for an Allied Invasion to free Europe from Nazi tyranny, as covered by “vélosophe" Guillaume Martin’s books and podcast through Radiofrance.

Guillaume Martin, Socrates by bike (Grasset, 2020)
Guillaume Martin, The company of the peloton. Philosophy of the individual in the group (Grasset, 2021)

Martin’s source bibliography includes:
Bernard Chambaz, Little philosophy of cycling, Flammarion, coll (Flammarion, 2019, 130 pp.)
Bernard Andrieu, International Vocabulary of Sports Philosophy, 2 volumes (L’Harmattan, 2015)
Philippe Hassler, Louison (theatre, 2021, 1 hour)


Jody Rosen, Two Wheels Good: The History and Mystery of the Bicycle (Crown, 2022, 417 pp.): “The bicycle in the nineteenth century was a marvel; in today’s formulation, it is moral. It was enchanted; now it’s enlightened. Bicycles are great - but, more to the point, bicycles are good... the bicycle’s relationship to progressivism and radicalism is grounded in history... Hitler’s first acts upon assuming power, in 1933, was to smash Germany’s cycling union... confiscated bicycles from the local populations. To a repressive regime... the bicycle was a menace, a device that could be used by dissenters to sneak up and speed off, to organize and mobilize and elude.”

Ole Wagner and Shonquis Moreno, edited by Robert Klanten and Sven Ehmann, Velo: Bicycle Culture and Design (Gestalten, 2010, 235 pp.)

Paul Smethurst, The Bicycle: Towards a Global History (Palgrave Macmillan, 2015, 208 pp.)

Stephen Fabes, Signs of Life: A Doctor's Journey to the Ends Of The Earth (Pegasus Books, 2020, 408 pp.); physician Fabes gave up a practice to tour world by bicycle, then discovered how medical histories don’t exceed life stories.

Sven Ehmann, Velo - 2nd Gear and Velo - 3rd Gear, Bicycle Culture and Style (Gestalten, 2013 and 2016, 256 pp. each)

Tree Abraham, Cyclettes (The Unnamed Press, 2022, 224 pp.) offers a millennial’s first take on freedom and stillness in motion.

“The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets,” opined essayist, journalist, novelist and poet Christopher Morley (d. 1957), long before automotive paradigm and urban rap trampled such sentiments.

Escapades on the "D" train

“We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it, and Louise holds a handful of rain, temptin' you to defy it... In the empty lot where the ladies play blindman's bluff with the key chain. And the all-night girls they whisper of escapades out on the "D" train... The ghost of ’lectricity howls in the bones of her face where these visions of Johanna have now taken my place. And Madonna, she still has not showed... We see this empty cage now corrode... while my conscience explodes. The harmonicas play the skeleton keys and the rain. And these Visions of Johanna are now all that remain.“ Nobel Laureate Bob Dylan, from album Blonde on Blonde, 1966 vs. "Bicycle (oil on canvas)", Bob Dylan, 2012

Orange Bullet D Sixth Avenue Express once served stricken World Trade Centers en route between Bronx and Brooklyn's Coney Island. Escapades make one think of overreachers and terrorists. Why did Oppenheimer call A-bomb research The Manhattan Project? Because most sites involved were secretly located there, splitting atoms with millions of residents none the wiser. In classic obsessive compulsion he quoted Hindu scripture, “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.” Film of same name (Marshall Brickman, dir., 1989) has smart cyclist Paul Stephens (Christopher Collet) steal plutonium from industrial tycoon John Mathewson (John Lithgow) to expose his company as a covert danger to surrounding community, whereupon he makes his own thermonuclear weapon that inadvertently almost takes out much of The Big Apple. All concerned join as a team to defuse it, while innocents unknowingly dodge instant death. After Sartre, being stranded by existential threats, biological to technological, has become the new “normalcy”.

Earth Day (April 22nd) and Mother’s Day (May 9th) evoke Earth-goddess Gaia offerings, Fugian Granny Mazu pilgrimages, Greek Cybele cult sacrifices, Laetare Sunday when Roman Catholics celebrate Mother Church, mother goddess Rhea rites, ode to a barefoot and biased madonna, Roman Hilaria festival, Semite Asherah adherence, Sun Goddess Amaterasu rituals, Taino Atabey admiration, Taoist Doumu adoration, and worship of queens of heaven Anat, Astarte, Inanna, Hera, Isis, Juno, Mary and Nut. All are tied to blossoming springtime, natural rejuvenation, and respect for life. But you get the feeling that however humans, even Shinto mountain ascetics, venerate them, these goddesses and saints don’t necessarily reciprocate, in fact, would rather wipe species off planet after multiple manmade threats of atmospheric pollution, fossil fumes, industrial toxins, nuclear weapons, ocean garbage, and prophesies of a hard rain delivered by Bob’s nasal twang when poetry used to matter.

B&C is 180° opposed to any anti-intellect, cancel culture, dumb down descent into global ignorance. Labann daily observes, reads, views or writes. Recent research indicates that sitting too close to computer screens and watching too many media streams can cause seizures or worse. Yet scholarly books encourage more of same; at least B&C preaches a balance between pedaling and viewing. Holidays might even inspire a ride if weather doesn't decide otherwise.

Culture on Two Wheels: The Bicycle in Literature and Film, literary criticism compiled by Jeremy Withers and Daniel P. Shea (University of Nebraska Press, 2016, 376 pp.), includes Nanci J. Adler’s insightful essay The Existential Cyclist: Bicycles and Personal Responsibility in Simone de Beauvoir’s Blood of Others, among dozens directly related to bicycling culture. Elsewhere, Adler explains how bicycles evolved into antifascist armament:
“Existential, absurdist and postmodern philosophers and writers of the era... questioned pre-war cultural values and the meaning of existence. Bicycles continue to appear in novels as transformative vehicles, but they no longer play the straightforward role as vehicles of liberation from the constraints of cultural mores, gender restrictions or social hierarchies. Bicycles often continue to be symbols of freedom, happiness and love, but they lose their irrefutable power to transform characters in permanently positive ways... Flann O’Brien’s The Third Policeman, Simone de Beauvoir’s The Blood of Others, Luigi Bartolini’s Bicycle Thieves, Samuel Beckett’s Molloy and L. P. Hartley’s The Go-Between, reflect bicycles as beloved articles, useful vehicles, and potentially positive transformative machines, yet they are unable to overcome the disquieting times; bicyclists are no longer destined for eternal happiness... [for Beauvoir] the bicycle is used to differentiate the hardships of the French from the relative affluence of the Nazis... The bicycle machine, in previous decades a symbol of modernity and personal freedom, takes on a more solemn role as a machine of the French Resistance.” Nanci J. Adler, The Bicycle in Western Literature: Transformations on Two Wheels, 2012

“The bicycle was still there, brand new, with its pale-blue frame and its plated handlebars which sparkled against the dull stone of the wall. It was so lissome, so slender, that even when not in use it seemed to cut through the air. Hélène had never seen such an elegant bicycle. ‘’I’ll repaint it dark green, it’ll be even more beautiful,’ she thought.” Simone de Beauvoir, The Blood of Others, 1945, which explores themes of freedom and responsibility, as B&C continues to.

You know Nazis by what they do: Berate, boss, command, demand, denigrate, force, grab, hate, lie, and lots of people die or suffer. The opposite is whoever calmly encourages, leaves be, merely suggests, offers help, shares wealth, and tolerates differences. Everyone has opinions which guide personal code. Nazis will kill if you don’t meekly submit to their sick will. Nazis are divisive, greedy and stupid, because intelligent people know that they do better when everyone does well. Nazis scream continually, irrelevantly of current situation, and unintelligibly. People who tell you facts and truths never change their story and seldom repeat themselves. Let-live losers sort through details to suggest stuff worthy of your time above ground.

Father and Daughter (Michael Dudok de Wit, dir., 2000) poignantly captures a person’s grief over loss and longing to be reunited. After father abandons daughter during their bicycling outing, she spends entire life revisiting spot on a Dutch dike, where throughout each character rides on a bike. Deservedly won BAFTA award and Oscar for best animated short.

Police sergeant John McLoughlin (Nicolas Cage) races his Bronco past a Big Apple bicyclist running errands to site of World Trade Center (Oliver Stone, dir., 2006) disaster, where he'll wind up trapped under rubble with fellow officer Will Jimeno (Michael Peña) for trying to evacuate towers and save lives 20 years ago this September. Bottom line: This jihadist suicide salvo against an international commodity exchange was sheer ignorance that targeted democratic freedoms, more muslims and people of color from 87 different nations than America, and system of commerce that feeds world. It purported to use technology to strike against technology, but turned out a vicious attack upon humanity itself. And never forget, Bush and conservatives tried to exploit this holocaust by describing it as a "test of our will" to continue pursuing illegal wars for sake of greedy swells, while it's never been clear who was really responsible. With no help from GOP, decent citizens, firemen, and police answered the call to duty.

An Irish fisherman named Syracuse (Colin Farrell) trawls up a foreign woman (Alicja Bachleda-Curuś) in his net. Astonished she’s not drowned, he asks her name, Ondine (Neil Jordan, dir., 2009). Syracuse, whom townsfolk call Circus, is a divorced recovering alcoholic who has visiting privileges but not custody of his daughter Annie (Alison Barry), whose kidneys are failing. After dialysis in her wheelchair she stalks dad and stumbles onto fact he’s hiding this mysterious beauty. Annie imagines Ondine is a selkie, a mythical chimera seal turned human. Mean kids on bikes take her wheelchair and taunt her for being different, but she’s wise beyond her tender age, because love conquers all.

In post-apocalyptic Montana, bounty hunter Gage (Gina Carano) hunts criminals who refuse to give up fossil fuel vehicles, considered the worst of offenses, and infiltrates Jackson’s (Ryan Robbins) belcher crew for both offered reward and personal vengeance. Jackson captures pilgrims to mine silver, a crucial commodity for ubiquitous masks that filter otherwise unbreathable toxic smog on a Scorched Earth (Peter Howitt, dir., 2014). Bicyclists escort pilgrims, but also get scorched. Those who ride horses fare better; how ponies breath isn’t explained.

Television sitcom Mom (Season 2, Episode 22) Fun Girl Stuff and Eternal Salvation (James Widdoes, dir., 2014) has mom Bonnie Plunkett (Allison Janney) by bicycle chasing daughter Christy (Anna Faris) from flop to flop after she moves out to avoid their toxic interaction that threatens both their relapses into substance abuse.

Fathers and Daughters (Gabriele Muccino, dir., 2015) has novelist Jake Davis (Russel Crowe) tell his daughter Katie (Kylie Rogers as child, Amanda Seyfried as adult), “Daddy sold a book today... That means you can have any toy on the planet.” She replies, “I want a bike! Pink with a basket and bells and streamers dangling from the handlebars...” So he buys her one and teaches her to ride in the park. Later they ride together on her birthday. Rest of film documents Katie’s traumas over tear jerker childhood: car crash, custody battle, fatal seizure, parents’ untimely deaths, separation anxiety, shadow of fame, and trust issues.

Microbe & Gasoline (Michel Gondry, dir., 2015) are nicknames bullies call school chums Daniel the artist (Ange Dargent) and Théo the grease monkey (Theophile Baquet), respectively. Theo rides around school on a bicycle tricked out with a sound system of his own design. Daniel’s caring but depressive mom Marie-Thérèse (Audrey Tautou, Amelie, The Da Vinci Code) and Theo’s dying and needy mom (Janna Bittnerova) give their adolescents cause to try crossing France in an inventive vehicle that can, with the flip of a lever, appear as a tiny house. Being underage, they can neither get driver licenses or register a motor vehicle, so stop when police happen by and transform to stationary. Theo regrets his mother’s death during his jaunt and returns to attend funeral.

Midsomer Murders, Breaking the Chain (Season 18, Episode 3, 2016), has DCI Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon) investigating homicide of pro cyclist Greg Eddon (Jack Staddon), who just won local leg and was leading tour. Plot thickens when it's disclosed that 5 years earlier Judith Oliver was accidentally run over by a motor vehicle while leading tourists along a side road supposedly blocked off for bike racing. Then rival Aiden McCordell is struck on the head with a chain whip, and his lungs were pumped with a high-pressure air compressor, rupturing them. Police finally act to save dad McCordell thereby ending the killing spree.

The Philadelphia Bicycle Vignette Story (Bryan Oliver Green, dir., 2017) is a socially scathing surreal series of short skits on title city around 2009. Marcus Borton plays the cyclist. Charlie Day and Rob “Mac” McElhenney of sitcom It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (Season 13, Episode 5) keep up their unfunny putdowns of pedaling on a pair of stolen BMXs. Again, bullies are kids on bikes.

Adam Sandler is back to biking in latest film Hubie Halloween (Steven Brill, dir., 2020), where his character, town idiot Hubie DuBois, tries to save citizens of Salem from real skullduggery hidden behind holiday festivities.

SciFi thriller Songbird (Adam Mason, dir., 2021) set in near future speculates billions will die from highly contagious airborne variant COVID-23. Protagonist is a bicycle messenger, who is immune, so able to roam freely except through check points. Haven’t seen, but suspect poor ratings and weak returns are more due to people’s frustration with pandemic and suspicion over situational exploitation and theater attendance. Sure, it’s no Twelve Monkeys, in which Terry Gilliam totally predicted this predicament 25 years ago, but willing to give it 90 minutes after seeing hundreds of low budget turkeys that may have been worse.

Starz original series Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham (Episode 106, 2021) have title pair touring native Scotland by air, land and sea, partly by bicycles, to which one grumbles, “I cannot believe that this was your idea of a good time.” 

Books Bile Green

“It’s not that easy being green,” famously sang Kermit the Frog. Henson had childhood self acceptance in mind, but these days everyone demands that you be GREEN, by which they mean proving reverence for nature and sustainable practices. Webecoist gives a crash course, but seems to forget natives were excellent examples of ecological stewardship ignored by grasping settlers with their Puritanical contempt for chaos and downtime. Previously mentioned a series of stamps, each of which urge you to reduce your environmental footprint; new “pedal, pedal, pedal” stamps (below) show adult racer, MTBer, teen and toddler forever cycling. USPS’s own losses of late stem from public’s electronic efficiency eschewing delivery.

Meanwhile, worst offenders, banks and multinational corporations, block any policy that might dent unprecedented earnings. As a result you give up meager comforts and shrink into nothing but a source of profits so rich get richer quicker and justify own wanton waste. In lockstep, Edward Conard’s “nonfiction” bestseller Unintended Consequences contends that labor can be sourced at $1/hour somewhere so isn’t worth more here. He neglects to mention that CEOs are ridiculously compensated, thousands of times beyond their contributions. Bootlicking delusions aren’t worth the day’s labor this despotic philippic costs. Economies only thrive within distributive justice.

Rivendell Bicycle Works owner Grant Petersen just put out a cranky, lanky title, Just Ride: A Radically Practical Guide to Riding Your Bike (Workman, 2012, 256 pp.) chock full of bad advice in a misguided attempt to demystify such simple concepts as dressing comfortably in cycling apparel, extending distances through equipment choices, and having fun on what is, after all, a torture apparatus. Cycling curmudgeon Petersen doesn’t mention that other countries weren’t built around motoring as was USA. Americans had to adapt to hilly long commutes away from city centers. Unless prepared to continuously relocate within walking distances of every new trendy employer, you’d do well to try whatever makes cycling work for you, Petersen’s options included. Racing may be a trap not supported by Rivendell designs, but streamlining a 4 hour bike commute can unlock cage of automotive slavery.

Not to be outdone, New York “Bike Snob” blogger Eben Weiss has another compilation, The Enlightened Cyclist: Commuter Angst, Dangerous Drivers, and Other Obstacles on the Path to Two-Wheeled Trancendence (Chronicle Books, 2012, 240 pp.). Bilious books recounting bicyclist errors rankle. How about motorists? There just isn’t any comparison; nobody dies if run down by a rider.

One dimensional people gravitate to some topic and spend rest of their lives stuck on it as if psychic flypaper. Literature appears to have same root as litter, which is what most pages resemble. Motoring ought to be left to certified bus and truck drivers, who, it seems, are the most malevolent and negligent drivers, respectively, behind wheels of deadliest vehicles.