Crashed Fairlane

Humans are social creatures who crave and deserve happy interchange and helpful input. Consider years you invest maintaining fragile relationships. Expressing one’s opinions matters as borderline personality therapy. Internet, which once promised both contacts and facts, has now succumbed to disinformation, manipulation, and omission. Despite free speech permission guaranteed by constitution, inexplicably but insincerely reiterated recently by signed executive order, networks critical of new regime risk having their broadcast license revoked. Only sanctioned perjury will pass Project 2025 arbiters. There’s a lot to unpack in their nefarious acts. At least judges protect press members; nobody has a blogger’s back, though they don’t need to be forgiven for evil they attack.

Tech oligarchs and their delinquent mutant ninjas, who own top algorithms based on a century of sociology and latest AI, deny advantageous access, monopolize social media, poison pleasant convos, ridicule appeals to better self, sell your proclivities to some vulture, shame your relentless curiosity, and suppress any attempt to organize, because isolation makes individuals vulnerable. Somewhere there’s a disastrous dossier on your search history actively being exploited or aggressively being filed for them to utilize against you in future. An antisocial immigrant unelected appointee with close ties to China and Russia already has all your bank, census, medical, phone, and tax details in direct violation of Privacy Act of 1974. Damage is already done despite court orders to desist. Over an adulthood spent months shredding documents to avoid exactly what’s now occurred by overreach decree. You’ve already unknowingly surrendered privacy and security. Crimes used to be transacted over dark web in cryptocurrency, but now they’e committed against public treasury openly with impunity.

Neutral Swiss sentimental illustrator Chendi Xu, At the Newsstand, detail, 2019

Before personal computing, intellectual forages were fed by bookstores, libraries, and newsstands. You got acquainted with authors, diarists, egalitarians, journalists, librarians, and other strangers who earned your trust because they knew more than you and shared their knowledge without attached strings. Recalls enlightenment era encyclopedias by Chambers, D’Alembert & Diderot, and Harris meant to disseminate burgeoning body of knowledge and loosen royal guilds’ grip on profitable things. Analog studies provide a sense of community, and seem worth your physical efforts, as does bicycling instead of driving. Digital saves labor but stirs anger; social media alienate participants and propagate faceless villains who prey on innocents and proffer nothing of honor. Close encounters promote camaraderie, democratic thinking, dignity of work, and sense of patriotism that distance and segregation unravel, says dour Harvard professor Michael Sandel.

Regret wasting decades online squabbling with damned souls, dirty predators, and dopey trolls. You’d think 50 years of electronic dialogue would have brought consensus and peace. Wasn’t all bad: Conversed with a sweet and wise few, learned new wrinkles in communication, and sought revelatory inspiration, but stumbling upon grace is akin to taking bait as trap snaps shut. Since religions founded upon best intentions and divine origins get perverted into cudgels of control, what can you expect in a secular superbowl presided over by a lecherous a**hole? Blanket browsing, confirming bias, and obsessive doomscrolling have exacerbated ageism, antisemitism, grievances over elitism, illogical prejudices, jealous egotism, personal menace, racist supremacism, science denialism, and violent terrorism among angry misogynists and anxious morons, as offensively portrayed in film Ford Fairlane (Renny Harlin, dir., 1990) by Andrew Dice Clay, another obnoxious example of toxic masculinity.

Ford Fairlanes were models of family sedans, muscle coupes, station wagons, and stretch Falcons with an apparent identity crisis built for distribution throughout nation from 1955 to 1970, longer elsewhere. Once owned one for demolition derby use. Full size car sales crashed stateside even before OPEC Oil Embargo in 1974, when bike sales boomed and both bugs and compacts spiked in popularity. These impractical gas guzzlers were later supplanted by minivans and SUVs. Neither ideal nor just, Fairlanes exemplified consumer betrayal, planned obsolescence, and policy contempt. FHWA, another agency soon to be on chopping block, explained mandate for bicycle lanes to stem mounting number of crash fatalities, up to a thousand annually, identifying cars overtaking bicycles as their primary cause.

By exiting all your social media accounts, you can attend neglected chores, bike further afield, and stick it to the man, who needs you to take part in time wasted to build his fascist warchest. Narrow byways enveloped by shrubs and trees are fair lanes to ride upon, because they evoke a sense of intimacy with natural world and foster face-to-face encounters that other roads don’t. Yet a neighborhood paperboy finds suburban streets treacherous among Sling on-line users who prefer digital soundbites to newsprint insights.

Does bicycling really represent an economical alternative to driving? If own 20,000 hours of pedaling were instead spent working at a minimum wage job, provided a flexible part time role could be landed amidst a full time career, would have earned an extra $100,000 after social security deductions and taxes in a higher bracket. Supplanting half of all driven miles with bicycling saved at least $4,000/year, half national average for car ownership less costs of bicycling, totaling $100,000 over 25 years. This leaves a net gain only in intangibles of better health, closer appraisal of what it means to be alive, developed sense of risk assessment, entertaining experiences outdoors, and fossil fuel boycott. Do you really want to drive a car at all faced with all its expenses and stresses? Bicycling is statistically 20 times safer. Between 2017 and 2022, Tesla owners had the most per billion charged infractions, collision incidents, consequential fatalities, and safety recalls, twice national average. Until now, Tesla was being actively investigated for multiple anomalies and infractions among agencies being gutted by Tesla’s CEO.

MAGA conflates equal opportunity into a nonexistent DEI mandate, further, employment of incompetents in critical roles. This gives partisans a way to avoid criticism for illegal firings, blame opposition for unrelated tragedies, and rationalize their own racism that assumes sex identity and skin color preordain intelligence quotient. Much of American aviation and space program success was based on manual trajectory calculations by badly treated black women rocket scientists, particularly Kathrine Johnson. In total hypocrisy marching toward tragedy, less than half of a weak voter turnout reacting to racist dogwhistles picked a diagnosed sociopath as POTUS, ranked worst by a consensus of historians, or, as Bill Maher describes, “The Ultimate in Reverse Improvement.” Dozens of debacles have already been documented as a result of Despicable Organized Greed Enormity. Ain’t no medieval Duchy of Venice, just a contemporary accountability dodge, cruel scam, and word weave by wannabe leaders without constitutional status drawn from cavernous greed and fearful need to seize all wealth at blitzkrieg speed.

Who is the evil known by many names? Lucifer, of course. Likewise, Adolf Scissorhands, Alphonse Ca-porn, Bugs Moron, Cannibal Lecturer, Dearth Insidious, Dolt 45, Felon 47, Frequent-Lolita-Flyer, General Lies-in-Shower, Grifter in Chief, His Royal MAGA-sty, KAOS Capo, Mango Mussolini, Napoleon Bone-a-Nibble, Nostra-Dumbass, Panama Read, Pol Pops, Putin Putty, Scowling Grimace, Simple Stalin, Velveeta Voldemort, Why-Him-See-All-Day, and worse monikers than Old Nick. Compare tactics in common: Conceited avarice, deceptive subterfuge, divisive betrayal, empty promises, foul amorality, glib excuses, heinous vengeance, and indecent schadenfreude. Only a possessed pest gets called out by Catholic Pope; only a godless narcissist demands an apology for a loving homily given by an Episcopal Bishop, who since has received death threats. Christians supposedly pluck out a heart of stone and reinstall a soul of compassion, but not his. Instead of embarrassing citizens by floating cryptid currencies, fraud which illegally funnels campaign funding and violates Sarbanes-Oxley Act, and merch grifting resembling reptilians dining on delicacies of cadaver flies, someone ought to offer anti-chump pins for free with a wee stipend for wearing them. Clever ridicule couldn’t convince zombie cult. Laws lose potency with POTUS illegality.

Gulf Oil just celebrated its Orange Logo's centennial anniversary. Their slogan? “Unstoppable together,” an attitude perfectly in tune with melting pot of America. Compare to orange combover, who’s nearly as old, never wins his unilateral demands, and next to him nobody may excel or outdo lest he looks stupid or weak. Golf is THE game for self serving narcissists for whom teamwork means nothing. If DJT really wanted to conserve tax money, he'd pay back hundreds of millions of it he spent on golf junkets and record $8 trillion deficit he ran up in previous term. Does any of this underlie why Gulf of Mexico had to go? There's already an actual Gulf of America between 1% affluence and 99% of populace.  

Economy, government policy, and morality are intertwined. Government employment churns economy, ensures justice, and provides crucial services. Wealth redistribution from an oligarchy is key to public solidarity. What elected officials do in office whether you agree or not matters to you personally. Ask Russians if their lives are better under kleptocracy. One way to fight impact of higher grocery prices is to raise threshold for SNAP. However, GOP intends to eliminate all benefits, and let corporate bosses gouge consumers mercilessly. Accusing all welfare recipients, not just few thousand already indicted who were gaming program due to data breaches and identity thefts, blindly and cruelly victimizes millions who need dole and never did, 75% of whom are children and infants. To gripe about other nations cheating USA by running trade deficits takes some extreme of psychopathy after holding title as America’s foremost money off-shorer and tax cheater with hundreds of millions evaded, convicted of 34 felony counts for falsifying financial records. Guilty as charged. Likewise, making excuses about drug smuggling as a reason for tariffs from world’s worst drug money launder is an absurd assault on indisputable logic. Totality of this corruption is evidenced by his first act of firing inspectors general who saved nation $93 billion, and other law enforcers who fight corruption according to constitution. Nothing mutually beneficial gets done in a huge hurry with zero transparency.

Deportation roundups cause serious economic harm and menace families independent of status. ICE spent $300K raiding several Arizona homes to catch then release one documented resident. At this rate it might cost $3 million to catch ten potential deportees of suspected ten million, so more collectively than nation’s GDP, not to mention price of incarceration and transportation. Chaos and waste ensure pain and suffering, probably the sole reason this folly was undertaken. Leaving them alone to earn a living and pay taxes maintains federal and state revenue while suppressing inflation. Arrangements become what they are for serious reasons. Situations can always be made worse through cancelling or meddling. Rather than ICE blindly raiding, a simpler solution would be to let local police enforce existing laws and verify status upon arrest.

Tariffs will cost US automakers tens of billions, since American plants are completely integrated with Canadian and Mexican. Ford CEO Farley said tariffs would, “Blow a hole,” in US auto industry, which goes far beyond major brands and their 2% of total workforce into suppliers and surrounding communities. Retaliations will hike prices of durable goods, fuels, and utilities for Americans, since 60% of gas and oil supply comes from bordering countries. Threats of trade wars have already escalated costs for consumer and losses for investors. For political leverage, Democrats seem satisfied to let Republicans fall flat, as if they might fare better come midterm elections, which could be cancelled altogether, falsified, or ignored. Hoping for a congressional majority win won’t defend against this invasion from within.

Comfortably numb boomers act like begrudging bosses and Karen crones who had their fun but now want to block yours. Worse, they forget how youth struggle and marginalize those outside their orbit. Why don’t they just cease being obstacles and fade into sunset? Anyone who engages in divisive us-them arguments against small population segments to dominate politically can’t be trusted in any deal or debate. Ultra rich only exist because they’re terribly insecure, whilst society doesn’t resist their hedging against next plot twist. Espy an epic fortune and expose a colossal felony or lie. Downtrodden masses recall excesses of French Revolution and own powers to level playing field and recoup losses. Oligarchs fear labor strikes, massive protests, open riots, and shrinking popularity.

Peter Gabriel, Solsbury Hill, Peter Gabriel, Atco, 1977, “I was feeling part of the scenery. I walked right out of the machinery, my heart going boom, boom, boom! Son, he said, grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.” Suggesting that you should accept a loss for what you might gain, song was composed on point in forward propelling but unusual 7/4 time. Secret World Live Tour 3 decades ago covered tune upon a stage-in-the-round, where almost throughout Gabriel sang while boldly riding a Moulton folding bicycle.

All acquired balance, good deeds, and virtuous achievements get expunged by lawless and soulless fascism. What comes from government firings, thoughtless deregulation, or too little oversight? Aviation, infrastructure, and policy disasters have already cost lives. February (Latin, februum, purgation), will see an illegal purge of dedicated, nonpartisan government workers, many former combat veterans who transitioned into government, rationalized as draining deep state swamp, but really whitewashing their embezzlement of public heirlooms and treasury assets. But is it smart to disenfranchise trained agents with encryption, gun, legal, and tactical expertise? Predicts spiteful payback. China and Russia don’t want to invade America yet, thus inherit every immigrant, minority, and welfare issue. But they will after ethnic cleansing and military divestment removes any effective deterrent. Vast expanses of empty fields and ranges populated by disarmed farmers and subjugated slaves would be deemed enviable acquisitions. Never closer to midnight, The Doomsday Clock has descended from 17 minutes in 1991 to less than 2 minutes since existential threats posed by POTUS 45, now an “all time” nadir of only 89 seconds under 47.

All you get is a vote, some limited rights, and what little discretionary actions laws allow. Autocrats attempt to strip even those, decide how you’ll abide or die, everything you’ll be provided as to nutrition, rewards, shelter or tools. Free market is a fairy tale. Unitary control forces everyone to comply with energy scheme, motoring paradigm, sanctioned model, state programs few agreed upon or asked for, and transfer of trillions of dollars into private accounts. Cuts in involuntary programs to pay down national debt just preserve wealth's value at workers' expense. Yet public outrage is aimed at allies not enemies, or self for apathy and stupidity. Ignorance can be emotional or intellectual, but can’t be justified or opposed. For sanity’s sake, people prefer to ignore POTUS, whose aims are to ensure despair, evade scrutiny, exacerbate fear, an exact revenge; reimagines civil war sans destruction. Sovereign state secession could avoid fed’s $36 trillion debt, make laws and taxes equitable, and open opportunities to merge with European Union.

Blurry Be-In protest images on Kodachrome slides from half a century ago still affirm aspirations to act responsibly and stay mindful. Writing blogs has always been busy work that challenged patience of both reader and writer. Bike&Chain posts may seem enigmatic and fictional, but every paragraph was wrought directly from personal experiences and reliable reports. In contrast, Chat GPT emerges as noncommittal mumbo jumbo, never synthetic thought, but often beats nonchalant lies and passionate nonsense touted as facts by today's politics, and probably masquerades as human content more than you detect or expect. When authors write, they assemble correct words into paragraphs, celebrate own language which might be disappearing, put them through multiple editorial reviews, reconsider readers' divergent perspectives, sequence into sensible segues, test for probity and veracity, then transmit in print or whatever. Computers talk among themselves while humans kowtow to authority and lose touch, which means it’s time to attend to own affairs, get ready for end grind into oblivion, and hug loved ones in your hovel.

Trek Domane

While compiling brands list, temptation recurred. Did any contemporary brand or model stand out amidst these psychophysical curiosities? While killing an hour on an unrelated mission, stopped by LBS to do research. Nowadays, mainly source tire, tubes, and wear parts through e-commerce, one reason mom and pop retailers are struggling. Would prefer to patronize community to preserve service contacts, but seems lately stores don’t stock what you want.

Had some minimum criteria in mind: Bottom bracket motor, budget friendly price, builder who’s reputable, comfortably spacious cockpit, decent pedaled drivetrain, extended service range, fork crotch room, 400 watt motor, frame geometry relaxed, generous warranty period, local law compliant, light overall weight, and, like all but one bike ever owned, black. A Trek Domane + ALR (like one shown below) on floor checked all those boxes, because it was discounted 75% during dead-of-winter sale. Snatched it impulsively. Low price and state EV rebate made it a no brainer, even if only used for a few years, though forced to purchase new cyclometer, pedals and shoes, also at a generous discount. Already had bags and saddle to add.

The correct answer to how many bikes you should buy is n+1, where n equals number you already own plus one more. However, some e-bikes can actually limit equation. Domane can be set up for use on gravel, road, or trails. Battery assist pedelecs boost pedaling on hills and uncertain surfaces, so could persuade riders to gravitate to gravel. One could argue roads are so crumbled anyway that most can be described as gravel surfaces.

Have always argued that “acoustic bicycles”, ones you self propel, are superior to motored models because they eschew energy, foster fitness, heal heart, and strengthen stamina. Class 1 e-bikes don’t assist as much as Class 3, which are actually throttle equipped mopeds capable of speeds upwards of 50 mph. Class 1 simply takes torment out of any strenuous segment. You’ll still break a sweat while spinning up a storm, and oxygenate knees that would otherwise ossify with osteoarthritis. It senses shortfall in foot torque, and speeds up starts from stops, especially helpful when you have to cross busy intersections.

Obviously, smooth pavement favors rolling speed; bumps and mud increase pedaling difficulty, so depletes battery faster. Various settings, Domane has 3, let you conserve power; its pink “rocket” setting practically means you can upshift into hardest gear and leave it there on all but long steep climbs. However, this reduces estimated 50 mile range by half. You’re better served by selecting lowest boost and shifting normally as needed. You can easily increase boost temporarily into headwinds or up steep terrain.

Do through-axels secure wheels better than dropouts with quick releases? Thieves can’t steal your wheels as easily, but bolt-in relies on strength of fork and stay ends. On plus side, does eliminate chain and wheel misalignment, so stops rubbing on brakes, frame, or gears. Suppose one will decide whether this is a cheap hack or real innovation while scorching around old stomping ground and torching routine turf.

A few caveats and downsides of e-bike ownership include having to recharge battery repeatedly, and protecting it against damage caused by errant drops and extreme temperatures. While exceedingly rare, lithium ion battery fires can be avoided by monitoring recharge personally, not relying on shut down circuits and smoke detectors, only using supplied charger not an unreliable substitute, replacing leaking or otherwise compromised units, and storing battery when not using daily between 32°F and 72°F charged around 60% level. However, you don’t have to go out fully charged unless you expect boost throughout distance covered.

Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary broadcast (16 February 2025) had a musical sketch contrasting New York City’s prime time problems by decade from 1970’s to 2020’s. Remember rampant coke abuse, Reaganomics bank fiasco, and Twin Tower attacks? Well, they jokingly identify e-bike scorching as today’s top scourge. “Suddenly e-bikes, they’re flying around me.They’re up on the sidewalks, but they’re faster than cars. They’re trying to kill me.” Were it only that, The Big Apple would be blessed given they’re experiencing federal threats for their sanctuary city status and leadership crisis with mayor indicted for international bribery.

Hanker Sane

“They say that, ‘Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.’ Steal a little and they throw you in jail; steal a lot and they make you king. There's only one step down from here, baby. It’s called the land of permanent bliss. What’s a sweetheart like you doing in a dump like this?” Bob Dylan, Sweetheart Like You, Infidels, 1983

None can predict what might occur with certainty, though irrational behaviors often bring harm and ought to be avoided if possible. Don’t expect genius decisions from brains afflicted with dementia, parasites or syphilis. Legally and politically, ignorance is no excuse, but insanity does provide a lame defense. Madmen can be entertaining, about the only reason anyone nowadays acquires a name, evades blame, gains fame, or stakes a claim. One ought to hanker defining reality over sane washing absurdity. But as a criminal regime dawns, exemplary service in society’s interests secures yawns.

Andrew Wyeth (1930 to 2006) watercolor on board; artist is known for painting scenes from native Maine to Pennsylvania brimming with intense surrealism and magic realism.

“The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.” “When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.” Quality maniac Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (HarperCollins, 1974, 448 pp.), 50th anniversary

Before 2024 election, couldn’t get enough of Strike Force Five and their hilarious criticisms of sick cultists in diametric contrast, and sparkling wits such as John Stewart and Tim Miller (shown below in parent’s basement flanked by bicycle posters). Now they are too sad and tragically targeted to merit same attention. Entertainers and journalists who champion truths and expose lawmakers will always be the enemies of tyrants.

Compulsions to create authentic content instead spread fallacy pollution. You can read lies daily in salacious headlines drawing audiences to another dull presentation meant to meet deadlines. Social media uses artificial intelligence to score influence, and, since purchased by privileged immigrants, sift out disloyal or dissident participants. All you can legitimately do is avoid trolls, boycott nonsense, buy nothing, ignore clickbait, and resist despots. Meanwhile, the exact opposite coexists, modest titles fronting indispensable testimony, intangible religiosity, and nontaxable charity.

Robert Isenberg, Mile Markers (Last Picked Books, 2024, 220 pp.), “A bicycle isn’t just a piece of sports equipment or a fun hobby. It is the purest innovation, a tool of liberation, the antidote for a million human woes.”

Complex phenomena come from random insufficiencies. Situations greatly vary. Seldom does one size fit all. Ice Road truckers don’t benefit as much from bicycle transportation as crosstown office commuters. Bicycles are labor saving devices compared to walking, but not while hauling tonnage. Who wants to be forced arbitrarily to do something more difficult than necessary? Jacques Derrida warned of torturing poets on a Procrustean Bed which sacrifices context for conformity. Old farts who plot violence and proceed unhinged against those they swore to serve will themselves, “Be hoisted with their own petard,”poetic justice of ironic outcomes, unintended suicides during terrorist bombings, not to be confused with pittards, leather gloves that protect well until outdoor winter trips trigger frozen fingertips.

After a year in America that saw historic investment in bicycling infrastructure and reciprocal equipment purchases, you’d naturally expect books, films, and songs to acknowledge and celebrate, and a dozen sparked recognition. Never underestimate the power of visual stimuli to shape perceptions and sway behaviors. Pick for yourself which one promotes prudent conduct. 

Alcoholic divorcee Michael (Brian Stillar), known locally as Bike (Terrance Odette, dir., 2024), resorts to collecting bottles, raiding dumpsters, running errands, scrounging beers, and stealing bicycles. One assignment has him arduously messengering a mystery envelope up a steep escarpment. His one hope, to jumpstart a relationship with his teenage daughter, runs into a detour when he witnesses a drive-by shooting.

Camera Corner (Josh Weinberg, dir., 2024) documents Wende Cragg’s archive of thousands of photos of early mountain bikes and Marin County’s MTB community circa 1974.

In uplifting fact-based feature film Hard Miles (Daniel Hannah, dir., 2024), social worker Matthew Modine ushers juvenile delinquents serving soft sentences on an epic bicycle tour to Grand Canyon, aided by sag driver Cynthia Kaye McWilliams and wrench tech Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee in LOTR). Everyone tumbles at least once on first attempt at using cleats.

Heretic (Bryan Woods and Scott Beck, dirs., 2024) follows Mormon sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East) blithely biking about, imposing their beliefs door to door, while seeking converts, until they arrive at the home of atheist psychopath Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), lock up bikes, and shuffle indoors. Resembles empty promises and fraught visits on political campaigns. This grim film received 2 dozen award nominations.

Rebel Ridge (Jeremy Saulnier, dir., 2024) shows ex-special forces marine Terry Richmond (Aaron Pierre) run afoul of corrupt police in rural South. After they knock him off his mountain bicycle and confiscate cash with which he was planning to bail out his cousin, random Rambo mayhem commences.

Souleymane’s Story (Boris Lojkine, dir., 2024, in French) is portrayed by Abou Sangare, who delivers food in Paris by bicycle. To qualify for asylum, he must prepare an autobiography prior to a state inquiry. Was nominated for 10 awards and won 7.

Tess Parks - Some Days: The Bike Song From Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Warner Bros. Pictures, Tim Burton, dir., 2024), “I don't like anything, but I love everyone some days... when the sun is out and good people are about it restores my faith.” Lydia Deetz’s psychic heir Astrid (Jenna Ortega) avoids colliding her bike with carelessly driven trucks but crashes through fence into the yard of Jeremy Frazier (Arthur Conti), who secretly designs her unsolicited destiny for his own expediency. Despicables dupe innocents, especially during elections. Living free is wondrous, withstanding afterlife monstrous. 

We Are Rock n Roll (Justin Balog, dir., 2024) is a documentary of the American Criterium Cup, a series of up to 10 races for points for purses totaling $500,000.

Bicycle Film Festival is currently and virtually presenting BFF Classics, short films previously introduced during its 25 year history, through 31 March 2025. There will also be physical exhibitions of new works at various global locations including Copenhagen.

Pandemic doctor Daniela Schwendener gets revitalized by gravel bicycling on her Days Off (Liam Higgins, dir., 2022), an overlooked short from a few years ago promoting Cotic Bikes shot on location in England’s Peak District National Park.

Project A (Jackie Chan, dir.,1983) casts himself as Sergeant Dragon Ma Yue Lung and performs in martial arts battles including a frenetic bicycle scene set in Hong Kong alleys. What’s the goal of that silly slapstick sound at every kick?

Patricia Taxxon, Big Wheel, Bicycle, self, 2024 - Rambling aural experiment eventually gets around to lyrics: "The big wheel in the sky, he arcs o’er miles and miles... We can see the whole town from up here, feel the wind sail past our ears, the whistling noise it makes, so frigid and so fierce.”

Which Essain?

“Go forth, voyager, and imitate, if you can, this mighty avenger for freed men.” [Abi Viator, et imitare, si poteris, strenuum pro virli liberatis vindicatorem] - Jonathan Swift’s Epitaph 

Saw Carl Sagan on a bicycle (Cosmos, Episode 8) speak about Albert Einstein riding his own bicycle while ruminating upon light speed, thus deriving Theory of Special Relativity. Nothing can travel faster than light, and light you emit while in motion isn’t additive. Later, during year’s first night ride along a lonely country road under headlights and starry skies, this thought thread led to recalling Hubble’s Constant (H0 = 7%/Gyr.) and red shift. Doppler is relative to one’s point of perception. No matter from which direction sound approaches, pitch rises, then lowers as it recedes, even when passing from behind at 90°. As do all cyclists inundated by phenomena, have heard this personally many times over, especially in light traffic under low visibility. Disgusted by those who deny or ignore such reality; science requires curiosity, logic, memory, and organized thought impossible while smashed, stoned, or stupid. Ignorance must be bliss, because being observant means more anxiety, suffering, and worry about what’s already wrong and what’s coming that’s worse.

While identifying worldwide bicycle brands, noticed how Asian makers don't mention who built them; individual contributions aren’t lauded or revered there as in the West; founders and workforce were considered functionaries who filled roles then were swapped out unceremoniously. Balance abhors extremes of conceit and humility. Although cultures vary, a lack of alternatives among paths to survival defines slavery. Buy-in expects rewards you trust. What’s left to incentivize workers or writers? Death threats? Fierce intimidation? Tire treads, too, almost imperceptibly daily get ground down eventually, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Latest bike boom seems to have stalled. Some blame elitist attitudes and LBS hubris. But politics do hugely influence sales. Contagion protocols, spiraling food and fuel costs, and supply chain disruptions boosted bike buys. But conservative nabobs in bed with Big Oil want to bury bicycling, because for many it’s a viable alternative to motoring and wasting fossil fuels, a dwindling state subsidized resource for which they overcharge for obscene profits. Their ill conceived tariffs will hike price of each Taiwan bike, by far world's biggest source. Republicans also object to Congestion Relief Zone Tolls, meant to free up Lower Manhattan’s streets for safety’s sake, whose proceeds partially fund bicycling advocacy. Meanwhile, GOP candidates got preponderance of campaign donations from sports team owners. These billionaires are burnt, because viewership for all sports are down based upon how exclusive they’ve become, yet you can’t even watch live broadcasts of local crits or major tours due to network bias against.

The Wheel magazine (New York, 1883) opined, “Of the city ordinance prohibiting bicycle riding in Central Park, bicyclers are as much entitled to consideration and provision for their enjoyment as the owners of carriages and light wagons. Discrimination against them on the ground that their vehicle is peculiar is simply absurd. To permit the owner of a light wagon to use it on any highway from which the bicyclist is excluded is an abuse of power...” Enter Jane Jacobs and her 40 years of social criticism covered in her centennial remembrance Jane Jacobs, Vital Little Plans: The Short Works of Jane Jacobs (Random House, 2016, 544 pp.) including essays Downtown Is for People, and Pedaling Together. If her nemesis urban planner Robert Moses had his way, he’d have replaced more bike friendly neighborhoods with multilane motorways.

Four Horsemen, Same Destination, Apocalypse

How many brainy essain [essays, swarms, or trials] does it take to escape fears and feel free? Which one will resonate effectively to save constitution and democracy? It’s no easy mission. Invert letters [essian] and you wind up in a wasteland. Apathetic people only heed repeated threats. Not all essayists grind their own axes and hone at-home causes; Busy bees and Labann published dire warnings against lawless monsters, but voters rather acquit and confer power to convicted psychopaths, known rapists, and media moguls who micromanage opinions. Between illogical misinformation and willful disinformation, goal of incessant lying is not to convince victims, but to discredit truth so no one believes anything. Philip Dick assumed, “If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.” Were that true, deranged dictators would be under thumbs of cagey intellectuals, though this usually proves exactly the opposite. Dullard jocks bully timid nerds. Dimwitted hoodlums cower compliant sheep.

The longer you’re around, the more absurd your numbers sound, for example, 250,000 miles by bicycle, then 2,500 consequent pages about bicycling culture in an imaginative style AI could never imitate including definitive brands and songs indices beyond a 150,000 page career writing nonfiction. Just needed to do, but who did it serve? Septuagenarians should go fewer miles at higher frequencies to make up for when they were weekend warriors logging centuries. Similarly, activists must organize more protests against every unconstitutional policy that favors wealthy few over vast majority.

Candidates, congress, courts, networks, and press all colluded with oligarchy and hoodwinked voters this election cycle; survival is up to citizens now. Not everyone concerns themselves in everyday toil or knows how miles get trod in another’s shoes. Biking beats walking, but still requires physical effort many despise. Those who enjoy privileges of affluence, comforts, and intelligence are obligated to act wisely and exercise freedoms against tyranny and want, of religion and speech, to protect such rights and set examples. Office holders are supposed to serve public, not stuff own pockets with dark money due to Citizen's United. Democracy isn't broken, representation is; worse, perceived corruption legitimizes empty promises of remorseless swindlers.

After pro-Nazi Bund rally at Madison Square Garden in 1939, one supposes that 1970 and 1973 Nicks’ NBA championships there subsequently, and 53 amazing Grateful Dead concerts, had exorcised its villainy and restored its vibe. But in 2024 another hate filled fascist/racist rally occurred at MSG. How many Taylor Swift performances will it take to cleanse venue again? She’s already vowed not to appear in red states that betrayed care of citizens and rule of law. Blue states with brain trusts bailed them out for decades. CHIPS and Science Act of 2022 disproportionately benefits red state workers as a gesture of solidarity. Why bother?

With limited capacities and lifelines, humans conveniently sort everyone into dynamic groups: Ignorables, Givers, Reciprocators, and Takers. Some rate one’s circle of trust, or rather rhombus of doubt, square of condemnation, or triangle of suspicion. Such callous discriminations cast every feature film or stage play ever written, but never capture reality of individuals across lifetimes of development and withdrawal on a spectrum from benign to lethal. Aged ED leads directly to edgy evil devoid of empathy.

Ignorables are those you don’t know and will probably never meet despite fact they mean obligations for which you tacitly pay yet vociferously resent. Givers are altruists, lovers, mothers, and others who do for everyone else and expect little, perhaps gratitude, which slowly melts these saints into puddles of self. Masses prefer Reciprocators who trade whatever they have—effort, goods, produce, skills, time, wealth—quid pro quo for something they desire or need. Describes anticipated relationships among businesses, citizens, corporations, government, neighbors chipping in to defend nation and share in programs including bridge and highway repairs, child welfare, clean water, consumer protection, healthcare availability, law enforcement, retirement security, waste management, and whatnot... taken for granted though never guaranteed. Failure thereof is despicable, particularly treasury raids. Takers are deplorables, often born into or perverted by bad habits for which they were never punished; they develop antisocial personality disorders from which they abuse privileges, accumulate property, commit crimes, lord over others, never share fairly, take revenge, and use power bestowed upon them with brutality and impunity. What of the hypocrisy of rejecting vaccine immunity while requesting legal immunity?

Steps towards authoritarian rule pivot upon consolidating power and dehumanizing ignorables: Anyone unpaid deserving relief or meeting needs including homemakers, children with birth defects, ethic minorities, illegal immigrants, indentured servants, military families, retirees on pensions and social security, soldiers overseas, trafficked slaves, welfare recipients, and whoever has no champion and looks vulnerable enough to cut off, deport, enslave, forsake, murder or sacrifice without blowback. Hungry refugees can easily be cowered into kowtowing. That why republicans create recessions whenever they control congress, courts, or presidency. Educated, self assured, successful citizens see right through demented schemes of smug thugs; dolts don’t and get duped time and again. With a smile despots elevate criminals, exploit neutrals, and persecute innocents.

Every government improvement Labann ever suggested involved vetting a candidate’s character and competence, such as picking a president from among tenured senators. What happening is the opposite, anointing someone with least experience, who’s surrounding himself with loyalists of less competence, who’ll break laws to fulfill his lust for vengeance. This insincere Sin City crime syndicate has been flooding zones with culture wars (pedophilia, transgender) and petty issues (drones over Jersey), focusing on domestic purges, and using reflexive control, so you neglect monitoring enemies, domestic and foreign, real threats. USA has never been closer to World War III, largely because of disregard of constitutional compliance, democratic norms, national unity, and rule of law.

Because of conservative congressional votes and red state sovereignty, federal minimum wage remains $7.25/hour, and $2.00/hour at worst in Oklahoma. Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich says of this rigged system, “Among American workers, the median wage of the bottom 90% has not increased, adjusted for inflation, in 52 years. Where did all the money go? It went to the top [10%].” Economists say a living wage depending upon where you reside would now be 2 to 3 times more, between $15 and $25/hour; blue states MA, NJ, NY, and WA now mandate $15/hour. Millions of American families occupy remote homesteads, usually without electricity, running water, or state services. Because so many can’t afford rents, 600,000 are still homeless. Property ownership began a downturn during Bush recession and its resultant mortgage crisis. But media predictions for and relentless caricaturization of Biden’s term as a failure were lies; GDP and stock markets hit historic highs, house values soared, 70,000 infrastructure projects began, and unemployment hit 50-year lows, but, no surprise, corporate profiteering and crony gouging incensed masses and incited voter discontent. When promised the opposite, 21% of Americans instead revisited conservatism that already failed them. More collectively but unsuccessfully chose progressive candidates. Too bad blue wave passes with election results. Be prepared to lose equity and savings when economy collapses.

A storm looms. Forget any promises to deflate grocery prices, improve 450 federal agencies, and prune $50 trillion in public debt. Expect whatever sweeps wealth into general fund, so it can be seized by same thieves who ceased taxes to trickle freeze billionaires, ran up deficit $8 trillion, and still hawk sleezy bibles and weird souvenirs to unwary cretins. Describing institutional counterpoints and reasonable regulations as “deep state” projects frustration of not being able to get away with atrocities. Immigrant deportations and government layoffs will result in disastrous job losses and escalating debt from revenue reduction. Affordable care, cancer research, food inspection, Medicare, school lunches, and Social Security will likely be curtailed among other programs. Lawless will be redefined as unloyal. Will Dick Wolfe’s cops and feds protecting public from fictional perps still get higher ratings than Hannity unreality? Fox's answer will be shutting down agencies to allow unchecked mayhem only they can report on, and stay on mission to make American democracy look not worth saving. Federal real estate, Fort Knox gold, national museum treasures, and whatever citizens own in common will be auctioned off to creditors and divvied up among oligarchs. Opponent asset/property seizures are probable. Cuts in entitlements for elderly and patients with existing conditions equal death sentences. Health, wealth, and wellbeing of citizens possess no priority within an agenda of embezzlement and enslavement. Next, financial institutions and insurance companies will be targeted for tax increases. This raises premiums and reduces returns, since costs are passed on to depositors and insurees.

International free trade is a war deterrent. It gives all parties reasons to avoid war because it risks own productive infrastructure and supply chains to resources not locally available. Rabid nationalists don’t grasp this subtle diplomacy. Intended to punish foreign traders and reboot domestic producers, tariffs attack trade, curb income, hike taxes, impoverish population, invite boycotts, and welcome isolationism, enough to drive entrepreneurs away, leaving only exempt billionaires and poor masses, who they’ll treat as slaves until they revolt. This scenario has often been repeated but never ends well. Zero sum games kill everyone alike, including alleged winners. A social contract of constitutional rights built USA into an economic powerhouse and world leader. China may boast of burgeoning growth, but America has been its main customer; another GDP downturn will preempt their plans and project weakness. If they can’t dominate trade, they’ll have to invade.

The diversity of hundreds of sovereignties suppresses evil bids for world domination and vile ambitions of megalomaniacs. Every territorial grab urges other countries to expand their empires as well. China eyes Korea, Taiwan, Thailand, and Vietnam, has already made inroads into Africa and South America, and owns expanses of American farmland. Incoming POTUS jokes of annexing Canada, Greenland, and Mexico as a half dozen USA states while ignoring protectorate Puerto Rico. Russian bots ferret out any social media discussion and input spin to counter anything that detracts from their political goals. FBI caught RT red handed bribing influencers to sway USA’s elections. As did Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin, Putin had troops target Ukrainian bicyclists as a control tactic. Bicyclists evade capture, represent freedom, and spread intel among resistance, facts well documented by WWII historians. Despots can't allow that.

Preamble spells it out. “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” Amidst divisive splinters where are these unified blessings? Framer Thomas Jefferson warned, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” Whose freedom? What vigilance? Where has everyone’s yearning for justice gone? Worn down by a decade with no due process? When overrun by own government factions, 330 million disorganized residents who hitherto exercised freedom without responsibility forfeit whatever recourses they once had. Consensus on critical issues that once led to cooperative solutions now represents the greatest threat to authoritarian rule, therefore becomes its primary target for disruption.

If economic aid was offered to Russian people provided they’d overthrow Putin, threat of current war expanding throughout Europe would be mitigated. Inflation there is hovering at 23%/year. However, if you value sovereignty, you don’t go about toppling other governments; no, you abide will of their citizens, presuming they must be content with mismanagement, given they vastly outnumber rulers and own everything, at least on paper. Yet Russia actively provokes Americans into believing nonsense and fighting among themselves. Atychiphobic Putin is desperate to discredit democracy, because his autocracy is failing. Seeing hundreds of thousands of army age males fleeing country, with war against Ukraine going just about as well as Afghanistan, he doesn't want remaining subjects figuring out he's a foundering fraud. If you believe to build nation you must invade neighbors, you’ve misgoverned own domain and wasted citizens' resources.

What is a nation anyway? Blood may be thicker than water but it’s woefully less refreshing. America is the sum of its constituent diversity, each experimental component strengthening it as a whole. Confidence in 250 years of consistent entitlement to steer ship safely despite whatever comes along naively overlooks Civil and World Wars, elected domestic enemies, organized crime syndicates, and others who would rather burn it all down than revitalize democracy for mutual benefit, which means barring billionaires from buying influence. Downside of leveling a revenge curse is it diminishes both the sender and recipient. Dig 2 graves.

Doom and gloom are feckless holiday topics. People rather assess blame and blindly complain than resolve differences and solve problems. Hope demands action revealed by truths and resolved by efforts. Tyrants take no responsibility for their violence. Can myth and promise of an American way of life survive vultures circling? Wishing for a Christmas miracle won't cure malignant normality, a term recently coined by psychology scholar Robert Jay Lifton. After decades of abusing drugs, letting politicians raid treasury, and running up public debt, future you borrowed from is here to collect what’s it's owed.

“So Many Roads I know... Mountain high, river wide, so many roads to ride... all I want is one to take me home. So many roads tease my soul.” - Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter, 1992

“When ya get half crazy from the August heat, or on a frozen rutted road with no one to complain to about your achin' feet, you're gonna walk that endless highway, walk that highway till you die… With the cost of livin’, and the price of dyin’, well it looks like t'me this time I wont be buyin’... I sing by night, wander by day. I'm on the road, and it looks like I'm here to stay.” - Again relevant Nobel Laureate Bob Dylan, Endless Highway, Before The Flood, 1974, half a century ago

Cultures Betain

“I could walk this fine line between elation and success... You'll have to prove it to me... You’re wasting time, yeah, every time. Whoa, I can't do it by myself.” - Fall Out Boy, Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over [punk-pop], Take This to Your Grave, Fueled by Ramen, 2003

Among realms of intertwined relationships, bicycling culture lives where literary poiesis and sculptural kinesis intersect. Labann rides a rolling sculpture while making observations and recording revelations. Isn’t this what wordsmiths and wheelsmiths have in common? Two dichotomous gears may spin in opposite directions, but work effectively where they intersect.

Too often witness distressing signs that something’s gone awry: forgotten forests of fallen limbs, roadside vegetation smothered by manmade castoffs, and shuttered factories beside black streams swollen by soot-smeared snowmelt. Many say that aimlessly self propelling represents ineffective exercise and time wasted, but not to bicycle industry’s independent and myriad workers whose livelihoods depend upon it.

Croci don’t lie; once they bloom and die, temps soon equal age, a threshold to venture outdoors for many adult cyclists. On a dreary late winter spin suddenly realized that several streets en route were befittingly named - Armstrong, Columbia, Columbia again in a different town, Economy, Finance, Merida, and Wheeler, past Clement’s Marketplace, Continental Tire, Iron Horse Pub, Roadmasters Drivers School, and Singer Sewing Center of Coventry, not famous one in England where bicycle industry and international popularity began. Was reminded of alien hunting, bike sleuthing Wheeler family from Netflix series Stranger Things (Duffer Bros., dirs., 2016 to 2022) set in 1980’s Indiana, home to over 50 current or former bicycle builders. One may be strangely immersed in bicycling relevancy without noticing its legal pertinency. Cyborgs will never connect these dots.

Anyway, why do so many brands of bicycles, components, frames and tires exist? Talk about, “Reinventing the wheel.” Between 1878 to 1918 there were over 2,000 North American makers and tradenames, not to mention thousands of European counterparts and predecessors, each dabbling locally before distributing globally; neighborhood shops satisfied regional markets until a billion bicyclists emerged. Entrepreneurial barriers remain fewer than, say, automaking, farming, or mining. A bench, brazing rig, coffee pot, couple of jigs, garage out back, stock, tools, training, $25K in operating cash, website, and you’re in business. Gold mining (if you can find disappearing pay dirt or elusive mother lodes), opening a fast food franchise, and other such ventures start at $250K, 10x more than a framemaking startup, with just as little chance of success.

Frame weld grinding, image from a bank loan ad

“The bike market isn't such a golden opportunity that you can just dive in and get rich. It's a tough market for anybody, especially a small company. To even stand a chance, you have to stand for something... Diversity is a good thing... a sign of health... but I'm not sure how much ‘velodiversity’ there will be in the future. Big fish eat little fish.”—Grant Petersen, formerly of Bridgestone USA, founder of Rivendell Bicycle Works

Although brands appear and disappear at an alarming rate, can’t ever call a brand defunct, only discontinued; not only are riders rebuilding or still using vintage antiques, names sometimes get revived, whether by legal means on license or in violation of international trademark laws trying to cash in on someone’s else earned reputation. Makes it hard to condemn or validate when retail shops haphazardly slap own names on bikes manufactured by someone else. Hot blooded egotists are ever eager to claim credit, same reason a tall ugly building carries name of someone tangentially involved with its construction.

Marketshare dominators buy or crush competitors, but sometimes lose anyway. Disturbs how many brands today have automotive parents, though other automakers’ roots lie in bike building. Not so celebrated are origins among sewing machines and small arms, though controversial apparel always played a significant role. Starley figured laid-off workers who had been building sewing machines could easily knock off French bicycles, so saved Coventry from recession. Beset by pandemic disruption of supply chain, and   previously outcompeted by cheap oriental imports, local builders have rallied.

“There's a terrible delight in watching a rival sink without a trace.”—Bernard “The Badger” Hinault

First arguable depiction of a bicycle comes from Codex Atlanticus, a compilation of drawings by Leonardo da Vinci. Half a millennium later, bicycles are flourishing as one of humanity’s most persistent technologies. Bike&Chain emerged to study their broad impact. After a nudge by Baden’s democratic reformer Baron Von Drais in 1818, discrediting Russian claims of Yefim Artamonov’s 1801 invention and spurious bicycle nationalisms, a burgeoning global workforce had produced 4 billion completed bicycles before their bicentennial, and, according to industry estimates, surviving manufacturers are currently pumping out 4 complete units per second.

Winslow Homer, The New Year - 1869, pen and ink drawing, 155 years ago, soon after American Civil War concluded, thus creating opportunities for gun makers to diversify into newfangled bicycles

Accuracy in tracking details that every self-styled historian quibbles over forever faces data blackouts and misinformation campaigns from geopolitical adversaries, who, unlike western democracies, don’t recognize any individual contribution or share methods of production. Low priced knockoffs slapped together by Asian slave labor buried many Western brands. Learning only comes from direct investigation and hands-on history; classes, lists, memoirs, news, and texts only point in that direction.

Actually, the best bike is one you get your budget and butt to like, because few can afford to own bespoke perfection, which you’d be too afraid to spring from a vault to take a spin. Cyclists can be real divas picking handmades to reflect own preferences and prejudices. But if box store models fulfilled every need, and one size did fit all, you wouldn’t have to order a custom frameset and precious gruppo to assemble one for yourself. No two bicyclists are the same. Slim jockeys want carbon or titanium throughout; substantial clydesdales want reliable steel. Choice is all about pain you’ve endured and hope to avoid. Bikes resemble boots that last a lifetime provided they fit properly, your feet don’t grow, and you take scrupulous care of them. If one must mull over analogies, diverse brands as they relate to engineering experiments mimic myriad recipes for same gourmet cuisine.

Alphanumeric soup of tradenames rivals plethora of marketing terms for what are, for the most part, bi-wheeled diamond framed contraptions. You might feel sure you can differentiate a city bike from a fixie, or a hardtail enduro from an MTB, or a randonneur (what Brits call audax) from a tourer, but anarchy rules and categories blur. Though they look like road bikes or ten-speeds, cyclocross (XC) and gravel bikes have fatter tires and wider crotches. Frame materials vary from aluminum, bamboo, carbon fiber, chromoly, composites, exotic alloys, hardwoods, monocoque, nonferrous metals, to plain steel. Most are completed with bits and cogs from different manufacturers, though designs and geometries have to mate to work. For example, high end road bikes come without pedals, another personal preference along with handlebars and saddles. Used to be English, French or Italian were only choices, but trends now include all sorts of proprietary and unique combinations that complicate repairs. Savvy cyclists squirrel away wear parts to sell, swap, or use decades later.

Labann says what once was, still is, but won’t state what will be, what world yearns to ascertain, future trends. Laufmaschine, ordinary, then safety: Missus still wears bracelet charms depicting a Michaudine, the original boneshaker. For Scots, a “shank’s nag’ means legging it on foot sans conveyance convenience; meanwhile, “bike” signifies a throng of creatures or persons en masse. Japanese use term “bicycle operation” (Jitensha sōgyō) for any business barely kept going, because when you don’t continuously pedal it falls. Names abound for bicycles around planet including amabhayisekili, audax, axe, baidhsagal, bakfiet, basikal, bayisikalaya, bécane, beic, bелосипед, bhasikoro, bi, bici, biciletta, bicyclette, biciklo, bike, bixi, BMX, breezer, cạkryān, célérifere, charinko, ciclo, corsa, cruiser, cykel, daraaja, delta, digital bike, draisine, dviratis, e-bike, elektrofahrrad, enduro, EPAC, fahrrad, fatbike, fiet, fixed gear, fixie, freedom machine, fyts, gaali, handcycle, hardtail, hetsaniv, high wheeler, hobby-horse, HPV, hybrid, ibhayisikili, icugutu, igare, iron horse, jajeongeo, jalgratas, jitensha, jízdní, joker, keke, kerékpár, klapprad, klunker, kolo, keirin, keke, lastenrad, lemon peeler, mama-chari, mixte, mountain bike, MTB, njinga, omafiet, opafiet, orange krate, paesekela, paikikala, paihikara, pedalcar, pedelec, pennyfarthing, pista, ποδήλατο (podílato), polkupyörä, pushbike, quadracycle, rad, randonneur, recumbent, reiðhjól, roadie, roadster, rower, rothar, roti, saikil, sakre, sapédah, scorcher, sepeda, silver steed, singlespeed, stadtrad, steelie, step-through, sykkel, tadpole, tandem, ten-speed, thirsakawr, tricycle, trike, twenty-niner, two-wheeler, uila vilivae, unadag dugui, VAE, velo, velocipede, velosiped, VTT, wheel, wisikilita, Xe đạp, xikanyakanya, xithuthuthu, zitensya, and zìxíngchē with numerous variations thereof. Labann lists thousands of tradenames, plus multiple models under each, a surplus of sobriquets.

Since internet postings only ever offer subsets, Labann merged brand lists from all over, without prejudice for marketshare or origin. Only requirement for inclusion was independent corroboration; some once cited didn’t appear to exist after investigation, or turned out to be retail outlets only. Given bike forums, book barrages, life experiences, and Google searches, it’s disappointing no one bothered to capture this entirely, an affront to millions of craftspersons and factory workers who provided the cleanest form of transportation over last 2 centuries. No wonder it took 5 years to compile this homage, another long list, along with discography, filmography, and terminology. There would be no bicycling culture without buyers and makers.

Labann’s List augments Bike&Chain’s appendices, covers 6,800 brands but not models, describes histories and products sold, and summarizes extent of what, when, where, who, but not ineffable why, which even Jean-Paul Sartre, see below, struggled with. It’s a solid first pass. Despite every effort to be comprehensive, entries may have been limited by bad business practices of makers too coy, disreputable, or timid to disclose own information. At end of list a bibliography provides several links to more extensive resources, none that demand cookie installation or personal information just to find simple facts, because historical data and marketing details loose in public domain should be freely accessible.

Spreadsheet bolds brands with greatest influence, though every entry, however obscure or pusillanimous, affected acceptance to some degree and served its purpose. Such a survey feels like meeting thousands of likeminded individuals, or not, when makers, often Chinese, don’t want to acknowledge minion or reveal country of origin. Unlike a database, this list can simply be searched or scrolled to find what you’re looking for. For collectors, the most sought out units are legendary, oldest and rarest, though a painting depicting a bicycle can accrue value quicker than bike itself.

Boundaries are lame excuses, but even encyclopedias overlook minutia outside their scope, so only included complete assemblages, components, supplies, and tools, not beverages, food, random stuff you might carry, scooters, skateboards, or unicycles, which are not bicycles or tricycles. If you abbreviate or encapsulate something enormous, fools think that’s all there is, yet too much information ages a list faster. Complexity and extent induce fear and stress. Facts set in stone may make historians comfy, but who can rely on anything said? Some current industry lists may delve deeper. Brand names are seldom repeated, even intentionally. Rarely is any cyclist interested in all equally, often content to limit involvement to only a few. At least own consolidates scores of other lists, may expand consciousness or open investigations, and was disseminated for free.

“When it comes to bicycles, I often find that truth is more of a stranger than fiction.”—Mike Sweatman, Disraeli Gears

Does where a bike is made matter less than how it’s made, or what it consists of, or who built it? A purely monetary approach might mean dealing with distributors who source from slavers overseas, thereby not supporting local workers, who then get laid off, so steal your bicycle to trade for necessities. Custom builds require your presence as if having a suit tailored. Some builders became legendary by figuring out how to make bikes go faster, last longer, and work better. Others deserve to be called out as charlatans, incompetents, or thieves. Internet scams are rampant, tempting low prices for equipment never delivered despite hefty downpayment.

Disclaimer: Details are from best input and latest intel, not guaranteed accurate, complete, or current. To reiterate, “Complete is a term used only by isolated idiots who ignore linguistics and locales.” You must include Africa and Asia, think America to New Zealand, track from today to yesteryear. No disrespect is intended by errors or exclusions, though you can see how premier brands might not want to be linked with budget or hobby offerings. “Discontinued” doesn’t mean never to be revived, nor still desirable and widely sold, particularly frames, often easily restored. NOS (New Old Stock) is a viable business among resellers serving restorers. Supply chain shortfalls of COVID pandemic pushed businesses to the brink and over. World wars likewise ended a number of brands. Yet lately there’s been a rush to profit off latest electrical and material tech.

Issues over identifying brand names abound. A brand might imply a reputation for quality not necessarily preserved after business was acquired, divested, or merged. Some actually build, i. e., Bianchi, versus procure, i. e., Gucci. Some are strictly OEM, furnish components or entire bicycles, but have no brand presence in markets, i. e., United Bicycle. Many only distribute locally, have no sales network, rely on websites or word-of-mouth. Can you even call one-offs “brands” at all? Bespoke, custom, handmade fabricators individually match bicycles to needs, but can easily be confused with distributors and local bike shops, who assemble units, collect input, go between, but never personally manufacture, per se. Purists and those who pedal for exercise might exclude electric assisted bikes altogether as motored rather than self propelled, thereby generating controversies on bikeways.

Brand names come from many sources. Could be an acronym, distributor fancy, function of bike material, maker surname, marketing nonsense, mythical character, name of some champion who had nothing to do with manufacture, place of origin, person who built, shop that sourced then sold, stolen from another brand, or whatnot. Almost 2 dozen were tagged Royal, obviously not built by monarchy. Some manufacturers slap dozens of different names on same product to see which one competes best for marketshare. As if shorthand, bicyclists usually refer to components by models and skip brands, i.e., Chorus, not Campagnolo, or Dura Ace, not Shimano. Consumers alternately and indiscriminately call assembled units by attached badge/decal or name of distributor/manufacturer. Consider this a quest to sort it all out.

What do birds, cats, frogs, pigs, or stingrays have to do with cycling? Bees, bicyclists, bike builders, and birds either flock together or fly solo. Collectively, they unintentionally accompany one another so often it disturbs when they don’t. Anyway, bicycles you see leaning beside or rolling by roadside will never be a single brand, but an amalgam of many. Without benefits of mass production, bespoke makers must charge twice as much, not such a bad thing since it spreads wealth. Although frames might last a lifetime, every other component will likely need replacement, some several times, such as brake shoes, cables, cassettes, chains, spokes, tires, tubes, and wheels.

Makers made famous by champion endorsements contrast with nobodies whom they’ve encouraged, squeegee wretches desperate to clear windshields separating drivers from bicyclists. Successful old time makers were often directly tied to rubber tire and steel tubing suppliers; thereby one stimulated sales for the other. Distributors and retailers might have house brands they promote alongside others for which they are licensed to assemble. Descriptions get really murky with company acquisitions, incessant change, joint ventures, leveraged buyouts, and successive mergers. Consolidations and takeovers ended some diehards resting on laurels and swindling investors. Industry has always had a convoluted history with drudgery and sweat taken for granted by consumers, insurers, owners, public, regulators, and tax revenuers. Nevertheless, you’ve got to acknowledge millions of burns, broken bones, bruises, busts, cuts, and scrapes it took to put 4 billion bikes on the road to date.

"To possess a bicycle is to be able first to look at it, then to touch it. But touching is revealed as being insufficient; what is necessary is to be able to get on the bicycle and take a ride. But this gratuitous ride is likewise insufficient; it would be necessary to use the bicycle to go on some errands. And this refers us to longer uses ... But these trips themselves disintegrate into a thousand appropriative behavior patterns, each one of which refers to others. Finally, as one could foresee, handing over a bank note is enough to make the bicycle belong to me, but my entire life is needed to realize this possession. In acquiring the object, I perceive that possession is an enterprise which death always renders still unachieved... In making use of my bicycle, I use it up—wear it out; that is, continuous appropriative creation is marked by a partial destruction. This wear can cause distress for strictly practical reasons, but in the majority of cases it brings a secret joy, almost like the joy of possession; this is because it is coming from us—we are consuming. It should be noted that the word “consume” holds the double meaning... To consume is to annihilate and it is to eat; it is to destroy by incorporating into oneself. If I ride on my bicycle, I can be annoyed at wearing out its tires because it is difficult to find others to replace them; but the image of enjoyment which my body invokes is that of a destructive appropriation, of a ‘creation-destruction.’ The bicycle gliding alone, carrying me, by its very movement, is created and made mine; but this creation is deeply imprinted on the object by the light, continued wear which is impressed on it and which is like the brand on the slave. The object is mine because it is I who have used it; the using up of what is mine is the reverse side of my life.“—Jean-Paul Sartre, L'Être et le néant [Being and Nothingness], 1943

World’s biggest current retailers, either through e-commerce websites or multiple stores (or both), include but are not limited to:
Amazon, number one retailer of everything, founded in 1994 to sell books, now a reliable conduit among consumers, importers, makers, and sellers
Bicycle Warehouse, since 1992, West Coast, USA
Bike Exchange, since 2007, 223 stores across USA
Chain Reaction Cycles, since 1984, Wiggle-CRC Group (subsidiary of Signa Sports), UK
Conte’s, since 1957, Baltimore, MD, USA
Decathlon, since 1976, Europe’s leading bicycle retailer
Dick’s Sporting Goods, since 1948, 850+ Stores, USA
Erik’s Bike Board, since 1980, Midwest, USA
Jenson USA, since 1996
Landry’s Bicycles, since 1922, Massachusetts, USA
Merlin Cycles, UK and USA, since 1993
Mike’s Bikes, since 1964, Marin, California, USA
Nashbar, since 1974; now owned by AMain Sports & Hobbies, Chico, CA, USA
Performance Bicycle, since 1981; once partnered with Nashbar, Chico, CA, USA
Planet Cyclery, Broomfield, CO, USA
REI Co-op, since 1938, 39 US states
Richardson Bike Mart, since 1962, several Texas locations, USA
Sigma Sports, since 1992, UK
Scheels, since 1902, 13 central US states
Trek Bicycle, since 1976, 100+ stores, USA
Wheel & Sprocket, since 1973, Midwest, USA


Lastly, must credit every author, blogger, correspondent, distributor, magazine editor, reporter, and whoever haphazardly and slowly doles out data, usually for a paycheck, sticks their smutty noses into this sweaty business, and summarizes with incomplete lists with some preposterous presumption of copyright ownership of information already in public domain. Bicycle culture and Tour de France was begun by sports magazine publisher Henri Desgrange way back in 1903. Participants tragicomically and transparently try to cement sales and create rivalries. Ignoring them altogether never ends well.