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Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Accept No Succédané

“Comes a redeemer, and he slowly too fades away. There follows his wagon... loaded with clay... seeds that were silent all burst into bloom, and decay. Night comes so quiet, it's close on the heels of the day. Wake up to find out that you are the Eyes of the World... Discover that you are the song that the morning brings... Sometimes songs that we hear are just songs of our own.” Jerome Garcia and Robert Hunter, half a century ago

Labann may be old school, but wonders whether he’s a tribal elder or village fool. Age doesn't ensure wisdom. Truth sets you free, but won't save anyone. Have been both delighted and disappointed by fruit, bitter shriveled rather than juicy sweet. Doesn’t mean one should give up picking and trying, just make better choices, not be persuaded by outward appearance, rather use logic and weigh all evidence.

Pitiful and powerless people might be tempted to subrogate personal responsibilities to a popular demigogue. Accepting substitutes never turns out well. Governance demands care and understanding. Entertainers, rock stars, and sports champions garner praise and rationalize immunity for diverting masses from productive endeavors. Anonymous workers who provide comforts, necessities, nourishment, and shelter are mostly taken for granted when not prosecuted for unintentional mistakes. This is wrong on so many levels, society should be ashamed. Yet those forgotten only fancy acknowledgement and fulfillment, often lost to jealousy or redundancy.

An authentic beau idéal prophet needs a bevy of beloveds and bounty of believers. For any bike book author this list must consist of anciennes, athenas, clydesdales, domestiques, freds, gutter bunnies, half-wheelers, hammerheads, mamils, pedalists, puncheurs, randonneurs, rouleurs, sag wagoneers, salmon, shredders, scorchers, sprinters, sportifs, squids, tifosi, weenies, wombats, and wordsmith wheelemen. Americans reward theirs with martyrdom or scorn, while white supremacists want to rescind any holiday named for a preacher of justice. Bastards rather beat dissenters, exploit subordinates, or groom goons for indentured loyalty than share scraps of remembrance. Those with own agendas try to deny history to undermine any memes of great deeds that endanger their schemes. MAGA pretenders can never admit Civil War was fought over privilege and slavery. Same Civil War still smolders upon fake news and unfounded opinion with storm clouds ominously rolling over horizon. 

Some may ask, “Why bother reading anything not written by an expert?” then deal away precious hours perusing MetaX comments or viewing some trendy Teddy Tik Tac reel by avowed idiots who can’t capitalize correctly, choose vocabulary, diagram sentences, express cogently, match spellings, punctuate appropriately, or write understandably. Professional wordsmiths know all this but not necessarily about topics in which you’d be interested, plus they sell stories to highest bidders or work for secretive patrons who only provide to public if profitable to them. Official sources can be as puzzling as redacted palimpsests. Certain amateurs who experienced events firsthand have often been the best reporters, plus they tell you what they know gratis should you express slightest interest.

Do you deserve access to eyewitness testimony? Why should hands-on presence go the distance to inform you through persistence? Readers have no idea how much data must be gathered and skills attained just to write one accurate sentence, while volumes of hip hop vacuity and vicious agitprop corrode convention and erode education. Blameless innocents who warrant salvation get sacrificed.

While all bad grammar and misspellings rankle after producing 150,000 pages as a career writer, the worst of all is when "that" is used instead of “who" to describe people. Anyone "who" does that dehumanizes, because "that" is reserved for inanimate concepts, institutions, or things. Seems they see others as subhuman objects because of misogyny, racism, schadenfreude, xenophobia, or zombie horror, but such an attitude discloses zero empathy.

“I'm a substitute for another guy... The simple things you see are all complicated. Look pretty young, but I'm just back dated... Substitute your lies for fact... Now you dare to look me in the eye... It's a genuine problem, you won't try to work it out at all; you just pass it by...” Pete Townshend, The Who

Axe grinding anarchists, disgusting novelists, drug addled goofballs, sanctimonious clerics, shameless politicians, and vicious televangelists lie with a glint in their eye right to your face and reckon it a victory if they hoodwink you successfully into doing something self destructive or stupid in totality. Gullible youth buy ugly metaphors and whatever rings false. Though scripted spectacle, reality television is popular, particularly sports rigged for allegiance leverage.

Every video documentary picks soundbites from a small percentage of otherwise boring, normal, ordinary segments to create drama, discredit interviewee, relay some biased fiction, or work agendas. Acts of self preservation include assessing urgency and ignoring hype. Sure, every day you have to make decisions and take risks, but television will forever be a battleground for your soul.

Andrew Wyeth, "Young America (with a feather)", watercolor on board, 1950

Enlightened, literate 15% of society often categorize sports as a sector that broadens economy though a silly pastime to mollify fools, but do not speak for masses or underestimate their effects on productivity and waste. Imagine having jetliners carting athletes around like royalty and using valuable resources to produce an ephemeral competition that does nothing to feed or house people or provide durable goods? It's an environmental tragedy underscored by commercials encouraging more of the same in ads for ATVs, SUVs, trucks, and unnecessary choices of transportation.

Meanwhile, loathsome owners of media outlets increasingly use Artificial Intelligence (AI) for cold-blooded content instead of emotional poetry and experiential synthesis readers don’t know they desperately need since so long denied because of greed. AI will soon replace white collar workers and world’s wordsmiths. B&C tried to be comprehensive infotainment and ethics inquiry, but soulless outputs by Alexis, Jarvis, Robin and Siri dovetail with Labann’s dour prose because all avoid fanciful metaphors, hysterical laments, and radical passions that computers can’t comprehend.

On other hand, advertisers, journalists and politicians are masters at manipulating emotions giving them power over all who don’t just wisely ignore. Orange personality snagged a cult win to begin presidential election cycle on half of 15% of registered Iowa Republicans to show in snow, probably 2% of state’s voters. Meanwhile, self professed pollsters concoct phony estimates for whoever pays them. What did you expect when amoral, drug addled, hard partying boomers finally seized power in America? Leary’s dropouts and Nixon’s lackeys destined nation for death, debt, deceit, disease, disrespect, duplicity, and skullduggery. Democratic policies and social justice will surely slip away if all citizens don’t fight for rights wholeheartedly. But when superior minds point out lunacy of tolerating tyranny, it incenses idiots all the more and invites a deplorable dictator though nation's front door.

When you care nothing about what others are doing, and contentedly spectate from sideline, eventually you’ll fall prey to own apathy and their treachery. On other hand, unless behaviors of others break actual laws, their business isn’t yours. What makes you think you know better than they about what affects them? You have no control over chaos, only yourself. Felons claim society is to blame, excuse self, justify atrocity, and when caught scream they’re victims of a witch hunt, none of which is legitimate.

Exposing deceit, delusion, and hypocrisy becomes a snipe hunt. Compulsive liars, con men, and lax slackers never relinquish their long winded swindles. Words are their weapons; they evade blame, extort victims to commit crimes for them, so hide their involvement from law enforcement. If you too want to apply mind control over masses, merely compile an indelible book of itinerant peasants and declare its meandering metaphors divinely inspired. Wars based on ill begotten ideology and the vanity of sociopaths sacrifice millions and threaten all life on earth.

Gone are days when a cathedral or cross on a hill dominated city skylines; skyscraping pinnacles to pride long since dwarfed and shadowed religious influence. Churches used to anchor neighborhoods, now overrun with drug dealers and sex peddlers. Periodic police busts don’t slow illicit commerce in the least. Overfull prisons have revolving doors. No use bemaoning loss of what once was. Must be busy in present to bring forth a better future. Punishment ought to match level of harm and number of victims. Mass murderers, public enemies, and treasonous traitors, like previous American president, deserve severest penalties. You'd think bad actors might beware of a comtemporary Curia of Pompey where Romans ended Julius Caesar on Ides of March. But duty to humanity is no longer valued as much as service to self. Evil examples are praised and showered well with wealth, while demons develop a befitting place for them in hell where they're headed.

Thursday, November 23, 2023

Danke Schoen

Carol Mulvihill, Awesome Shadow (detail), acrylic on canvas, 16x24” 


Corn cob cassettes and pie plate gears summon more memories of cycling wheels than giving thanks over holiday meals. Then moody Black Friday rolls around from a gloom and greed background. Bicyclists better embrace joy and pain, light and shade, because opposites are probable when you propel by pedal again. Daily duality is inevitable. Irritations eclipse satisfactions, yet fear and entropy fight fitness and force flab. Everything once generously bestowed nature gradually repossesses. Generally thankful for Grateful Dead canon in which Jerry Garcia says grace by channeling universal wavelengths, and as a septuagenarian still being able to propel through own strengths.

Almost everything bad that can happen to bicyclists has already to Labann: Assaults by crews, beaten by bats, bee stings, blisters, brake fade, broken spokes, bug bites, cables snapped, chased into crashes, component failures, crumpled helmet, cut offs, dog attacks, doored, endo face plants, frame deformation, handlebar breaks, hits by motorists, hooked at intersections, intentionally pelted by beer cans and cantankerous detritus, intractable and multiple flats, saddle splits, sidewall explosions, sideswiped, soaked by downpours, stiffed by LBS, stolen bike, strafed by hail, taxi home, taco-ed wheels, and whatever else you can imagine short of dire or fatal nicely survived with no regrets. Can’t estimate incidents of being menaced during 20,000 hours of cycling over 6 decades, but they tend of recur more often during conservative administrations, which precipitate recessions and spark disrespect.

Cowardice and drugs steal souls of bangers and junkies. Bad examples? Gang initiations? Hopped up? Irrational jealousies? Poverty desperation? Self hate? Whatever the cause, assaults against the vulnerable will never be acceptable, why courts and police must enforce laws. Fear and inconvenience can be deterrents for both bicycling and motoring, and irrational excuses for impatience and recklessness. Cars only purport risk avoidance, as if drivers were turtles carrying protective shells; statistically, bicycles used responsibly are 20 times safer. All who knows facts agree that impaired (sleep deprived and substance altered) and impatient (selfish and stupid) motorists cause 90% of traffic mishaps. They’d rather pay fortunes unashamed for what they perceive as instant transportation gratification despite neither managing 25 mph in travel snarl, nor remaining unmaimed. Many who live in major cities abnegate such luxury, bike instead, perambulate, or take plentiful public transportation.

Mathematicians contrast bicycling with driving. Some say in same amount of time cars average 4 times as many miles as bicycles. Like cars, bicycles range from 0 to 250+ mph, but typically occupy bands centered on 9 (beginners), 12 (average of all riders collectively), 15 (intermediate), 18 (sportif), 21 (race contestants), and 25+ (world class peak performance). Infrastructure and statutes sort motorists into bands surrounding 25 (de facto limit unless signed otherwise), 35 (average of all traffic), 50 (intercity highways), 65 (interstates), and 100 (where unlimited by law but as fast as equipment allows and most want to go). With increasing urban road congestion, bicycling might actually be faster. Bicycling above 13 mph and driving over 39 mph cross safety thresholds, in practice a factor of 3, not the 5 times often argued. According to accident statistics and conditions stated, bicyclists could go a bit faster while motorists should reduce speed by 25%. Begs the question, if you can avoid it, why drive at all?

Loathe to repeat doubts, others, rumors, or self. Love to distill original ideas from comprehensive input, multiple sources, and personal experiences. Only anarchists and morons think absurdities are amusing, except when applied in clever Black Friday or Superbowl commercials. Don’t often quote notables, though prior content can be an explanatory key. Some warnings bear repetition. Some arguments must be hammered, though have always varied angles and deliveries. Many deem any rant on a single point a manifesto they can’t accept with gusto or afterward recant. Any statement without precise modifiers and qualifiers deceives. Facts from one’s life may be contradicted by details from another’s. Truths will always be brutal, few, simple, and universal. Insights and intuitions come instantly to some, slowly over years for others. One can speculate based on an anecdote, but authenticities extrapolate from having frequently taken risks and repeatedly lived through adversities. If you sense confusion, welcome to the human condition.

Every minute one spends gorging upon social media bolsters bias, deepens dementia, hurries hallucinations, increases incapacitation, and spreads mass hysteria. Daily mayhem reported on news “gossip-tainment” with transparent appeals to fears, nationalism, and self interest instill crippling anxieties. Phony narratives begin and end, not how life actually unfolds, as thousands of incidents intertwined from diapers to dirt nap. Threads unravel, thoughts demand closure, and torture consists of being tantalized by empty promises. Takes a true sadist to speak of happiness when all seems hopeless.

People may deny influence of a century of psychological tactics being used to exploit and manipulate them, but part of behavioral conditioning is to make recipients forget what’s logical or sensible. Except for appliances, beers, cars, computers, cell phones, and certain foods, have never purchased anything advertised in television commercials, and then only coincidently for lack of alternatives, not because bogus ads convinced. Do slogans simply life? Humans require incessant chatter to avoid crippling isolation and to figure out survival under technological upheavals and variable conditions. Every creature from bees to whales communicate. Words aren’t so terrible, but totally liable of being taken wrongly. Whatever you spew society will misconstrue. Those once in charge blamed loose lips for sinking ships. Misinformation surely motivates mistakes, but errors teach and silence kills.

Disgusted by neocon propagandists who cherrypick facts to swing focus away from what ought to be discussed and examined, for example, offshore windmills instead of political fraud mills. Infrasound does upset fisheries and rotors do kill 350,000 birds each year, though scientists know whales aren’t dying from them; in fact, whale populations have now expanded to highest levels in modern times; myriad causes such as fishery depletion, shipping collision, and toxic pollution are to blame. What they aren’t saying is that ONE MILLION vertebrates die EVERY DAY in automotive accidents. Eco-friendly options are under siege, while Petrine See blesses and presidential sedition sanctions rape of nature.

Freelance stringer Sam Weiler describes risk of lithium batteries carelessly disposed, no doubt stating a fact as a typical setup, then goes on to slam EV’s (Electric Vehicles) for potential explosions. Who buys this propaganda tactic? Sure, a few may have, but during collisions gasoline vehicles have caught fire and killed a thousand times more occupants. Purists object to e-bike use on bike paths, since faster than pedaled bikes and somewhat a threat to walkers, though only Class 3 rival motor vehicle speeds. Fossil fuels can never be renewed only sacrificed, whereas lithium can be recovered by direct and hydrometallurgical recycling. Lithium mining threatens environment exponentially less than what oil drilling and processing does with cancerous and toxic aftermath, not to mention warfare over this dwindling resource. Bicycling and walking are twentyfold safer, but leaving home dives into chaos and embraces uncertainties, yet sitting on your couch can be just as fatal.

“Many youth choose conservatism,” boasts Republican campaign ads, not because it’s wishful truth but because no statistics compare it to other qualifiers, such as anarchist, centrist, communist, democratic, liberal, nationalist, radical, or socialist positions. Conservatives seem to max out at about 20% of voters, 1 in 5, forming a desperate, relentless, small minority willing to segregate themselves as public enemies to invite criminals, domestic terrorists, and worst society has to offer into their ranks. Patriot John Adams said, “If a person is not a liberal when he is twenty, he has no heart; if he is not a conservative when he is forty, he has no head.” Individuals of any age who resort to radical terrorism have no soul.

Why did GOP rabidly promote job-offshoring for decades since Reagan? 1) Break leverage of US unions. 2) Deter immigration with no housing or jobs available, especially for nonwhites. 3) Dodge employee benefits, honest wages, local/federal/state taxes, wage copays to Social Security, and workman's compensation. 4) Exploit cheap/slave labor in countries where all they have to do to maximize profits was bribe officials. 5) Render public more compliant, and 6) Weaken voter resolve. Trump awarded blatant huckster and Trickle Down architect Art Laffer a Presidential Medal of Freedom, ironically; his Laffer Curve tragically impoverished millions of families through tax cuts that resulted in hundreds of billionaires. Their blatant lack of concern for outcomes, and cold compulsion to amass wealth by sacrificing lives, can only be called despicably heinous, on par with treason and war crimes.

Capitalists, conservatives, dictators, and fascists alike favor slave labor. Hitler defeated then forced hostages to stoke his death engine; if you didn’t comply you’d die; you should never have to fry as a consequence for reticence. Notions such as, “Trickle down creates jobs,” only justify greed. Not being able to share prosperity equitably equals slavery.

Henry David Thoreau begins Civil Disobedience by saying that he agrees with Thomas Jefferson’s redundancy, "That government is best which governs least,” and men will someday be able to have a government that does not govern at all [though likely will still occupy offices and stuff faces and pockets]. What Americans now have can’t be called representative governance, rather corruption, oppression, tax enslavement, and tyranny. If conservatives had their way, it would be a racist oligarchy run by a white dictator. Marx wouldn’t have had to write the Communist Manifesto if kings, oligarchs, scumbags, and warlords weren’t vile sociopaths. If Nazis didn’t commit genocide, Anne Frank wouldn’t have had to chronicle her family’s hiding in mortal fear. If not for society’s repeated cruelty, Nobel Laureate Bob Dylan wouldn’t have had to write a thousand songs of betrayal, protest, regret, and shame. Anti-woke conservatives wouldn’t denigrate press, denounce institutions, and deny history if they didn’t want to dominate and subjugate. For every evil there will be acute blowback with collateral damage.

If not wary, you waste your vote. Never vote for fascists, only worthy public servants. Party whose only agenda is to funnel treasury into hands of oligarchs, who promise to oppress opponents by stripping liberties, whose policies serve the few over the masses, who unanimously voted against every relief bill, doesn't merit any allegiance, not even from those who think they'll benefit. "All boats rise on the tide," they'll tell you, but they've punched holes in everyone else’s, and risk own ruin consequently. Humanity only succeeds when everyone gets by. 

Citizens who are eligible don’t vote for many reasons: apathy, inconvenience, long lines, too busy working multiple shifts. Some are led to believe opposing candidates are corrupt, something neocons lie about daily, even get bad ones elected on purpose to prove their point. Why support such corruption? Every year you spend 30 hours urinating and 3000 hours sleeping. Voting takes less than one hour every couple of years; you ought to add vetting candidate on merits and promises to your routine, and recalling public servants who prove false. Unless you want to organize majority to overthrow existing government and military, you have to make what little power you do have, vocally dispelling lies, voting for the best representatives, and working toward social justice. 

Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, in tandem for 77 years, volunteers for human dignity

Liberals aren’t so legit, make deals with corporate lobbyists, suck up to seated senators for endorsements. Who would even seek nomination for public office other than grifters, morons, narcissists and scoundrels? At least Democrats have a candidate with a half century of public service, though attacked as feeble and old after a stellar term of bicycling fitness and policy successes. Republicans support a failed self server who’s an anti-American, anti-semite, casino boss, cash offshorer, coke head, commie collaborator, convicted fraud, democracy threat, division exploiter, drug money launderer, election loser (lost every state where he once resided), history quasher, hypocrite, malignant narcissist, misogynist (hates women), mass murderer, multiple divorcee, panderer (to addicts of gambling and sex), pathological liar (30,450 documented lies while in office alone), planet’s #1 tax cheat (3,500 mentions in Panama Papers), racist, rapist, science denier, sex trafficker, sociopath, slum lord, spy, traitor, twice impeached by peers, wall builder, wannabe dictator, white supremacist, xenophobe (loathes Blacks, foreigners, Gold Star families, Jews, Latinos, people with disabilities except himself, and whoever won't commit crimes on his behalf). He has quite a resume to be devoid of any positive traits, pure poison to everything he touches. He is not being prosecuted by Democratic elected officials, but the 75% of Americans who realize he’s victimized them.

Curious how this century has seen so many POTUS firsts: Black man elected, repeatedly impeached and indicted sociopath attempting a coup after losing, woman nominated as candidate and winning popular vote, and world's oldest seated, though people do live longer through medical advances.

America might be the most cosmopolitan nation on planet definitely allowing more room for heredity variations and personal preferences than any other. Why do some minorities scream racism? Caucasians make up 65% of population; Aryans, Birchers, Klansmen and 600 race bias organizations among them make up only 1%. Homeland Security testified, “White supremacists were responsible for more than three-quarters of all domestic extremist murders in 2018.” The remaining 99% of every race interact nicely, except when presumption and stupidity enters. All hate is evil, potentially criminal, and punishing felons deters crime. Bad behaviors aren’t limited to maiming and murder, but also exclusion, exploitation, extortion, intimidation, menace, and theft. All exploitation amounts to slavery, from domestic servants compensated by food and lodging, to indentured farm and sex laborers, to stay-at-home moms taken for granted, to unpaid corporate interns.

By shifting focus, costly resources pursue wrong approaches to minor issues, while those who pay millions for false flags and phony messages continue to profit so much that millions for misinformation becomes a minor expense. Conservatives condemn PED realm of cheating peloton because it exposes their own temptation to steal trillions from treasury secretly.

Administrations that care about middle class jobs also care about social justice. Dreaded quartet of horse’s asses Nixon, two Bushes and Trump denied job creation as government's role, did nothing to encourage private sector, engendered recessions as a way to browbeat voters. What!? Federal government is nation's biggest employer, almost 3 million, more than Walmart’s 2.3 million. Combined workforce of top ten corporations (below 8 million) doesn't even come close to state governments (over 18 million). GOP groan about government being too big, but have almost no idea how it works (quietly without much redundancy), or what it does (programs essential to life). Just to curry a few extra votes and thereby legitimize elections they cheated in to win, they’d cut Social Security, throw 20% of population who earned this benefit to the wolves, and use such scare tactics to cause panic, spread suffering, and weaponize supporters.

Local gas prices are lower than they were a year ago, driven down by reduced global demand and regulatory threats, not anything current president did. Immediate predecessor has called Russians and Saudis to jack prices up to create discontent that might help his campaign. Bicyclists are bemused by asphalt black jack, chewed goo, crude splooge, hard pack, and tarmac ooze that they peruse and use, not spinning in a gym. Zero carbon footprint can become an excuse used to justify cheapness, easy ways, and efforts procrastinated.

Factory renewal of durable products definitely saves raw materials, but fails to deliver good value in some cases. It has never worked well with private passenger vehicles, though classic and vintage demands of nostalgic collectors keeps aftermarket restorers busy charging outlandish prices. You’d think that seasoned engine blocks could be rebored and rebuilt for cheaper than newly forged steel, which they have to expose to weather to age anyway. However, rest of vehicle only yields brittle aluminum, sunbaked plastic, and tired iron. Should designers choose stainless steel for body shell, that would increase incentive to recycle vehicles, but obsolescence is intentional. Automakers barely make enough spare parts to keep vehicles going for 7 years.

How anything is handled and managed matters. Durable goods benefit from quality control, but metals sourced might be brittle or impure, so fail prematurely, while precise sizes require careful measurements that take time so impede production. In reality, parts can’t be made better than approximate, so get culled during assembly. Hope yours isn’t a lemon made up of rejects. Refrigeration retards spoilage, but food might be frozen or overheated during shipping or storage. Food born bacteria is one of the main causes for infectious diseases and toxin poisoning.

So, appreciate being heard, because families and friends one invites for traditional spreads never want to hear a crazy uncle’s opinions dismantling those they hold dear despite no logical sense or supporting evidence. Ridiculous GOP grandpa running for POTUS constantly confabulates, outright lies, and randomly rambles, yet gets more support. Is critical thinking a blessing or a curse?

Friday, October 27, 2023

Next Dunblane

"Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill." Fausto Coppi, Bicycling Quotes

Americans mindlessly fail to heed message of Dunblane Massacre. In 1996 pedophile scoutmaster Thomas Hamilton shot up a Stirling Scotland kindergarten class resulting in eighteen dead and fifteen injured, the worst mass pedicide in UK history. Following citizen outrage, Snowdrop Initiative snowballed into a nationwide handgun ownership ban. Thereafter, few mass killings and none using handguns have occurred, evidence of a quarter century of somewhat effective gun control.

In USA handgun availability for everyone including those with evil intentions and personality disorders begot 429 mass shootings since 1976, with increasing frequency annually, fifteen hundred dead, and four thousand injured. Perps are mostly deranged young men; sites are split between schoolhouses and workplaces. Among 25% of population who own firearms, estimates show there are more weapons than total residents. So, damaged individuals who grip too tightly own on average 4 apiece, and taunt normal majority with putdowns including “snowflakes”, though over 80% of Americans want background checks and bans on assault rifles. There’s no end in sight as long as Republicans and Speaker of House newly appointed stonewall every attempt to limit sales of automatic and large capacity weapons. Lewiston, Maine is the latest episode with similarly eighteen dead and thirteen injured. Subsequent massacres will likely claim thousands more innocents over next decade.

For half a century of network programming, the most popular broadcasts were crime, war and western dramas that showed murders from wanton weapon use. For example, Rifleman Chuck Connors wielding his carbine gunned down at least one adversary every week. Dick Wolf’s Law & Order franchise and spinoffs constituting 1,000 hours of programming, excluding Criminal Intent and Trial by Jury but including FBI, LA, Organized Crime, Special Victims Unit, and True Crime, have someone brandishing a handgun in every episode, which heightens tension as a storytelling device. Similarly, Criminal Minds shows brutal killers and lurid felons pursued with gats in hand during every action sequence.

Video and virtual gaming that focus on killing also desensitize youth and inspire mayhem. National Institute of Health states, “Anything that promotes aggressive behavior in young children statistically is a risk factor for violent behavior in adults as well,” though direct causes can be complicated and multifaceted. Gun manufacturer’s deny scientific conclusions, while advertisers exploit childhood curiosity and teenage fears. Latest statistics show ~21,000 murders each year were gun-related, while 26,000 suicides were allegedly accomplished using guns, if you can believe investigators seemingly too busy to dive deep enough to collect valid evidence.

Anarchist author Alfred Jarry raced his 1896 Clément Luxe track bike, bought new on credit and never quite paid for, while carrying a carbine and two six-shooters, firing them as a warning to anyone in his way, as if radical bicycle bells, while scorching Parisian cobblestones and surrounding countryside. Contemporaries deemed him unstable headed to an early grave, but his plays César-Antéchrist and Ubu Roi were prescient about today’s abuses of power and corruption in government, while Le Surmâle was specifically about superheroes racing bicycles under the influence of absinthe. While several bicycle brands began as gunsmiths, some made handguns for use while bicycling.

As ugly as these situations are, they pale compared to millions who’ve died over same time in vehicular collisions, more than American COVID pandemic victims, overdoses with synthetic opioids, or soldiers in wars. Only cancers and cardiovascular diseases, both indirectly related to motoring, exceed collision carnage of this automotive anathema resulting in ~50,000 fatalities every year. Bicycling related deaths remain low, averaging 600 annually since mid-1970’s, though people constantly caution self propellers to, “Be evvver so careful,” while failing to warn to victims of over 5 million car collisions to drive safer, because trillions get transacted in support of automotive folly.

All this is naught compared to coming viral pandemics with waves of biological weapons. People worldwide are still dying from contracting COVID, HIV, and influenza despite official relaxation of prophylactic measures. Anyone with a suspicious mind might think they are being engineered to target enemies and undesirables who’ve lowered their guard based on official advice.

You can conclude that enemies full of hate surround you. Don’t be fooled into believing they are furious minions of some foreign nation far away. Villains seek to lead, and seem decent on surface until they steer state straight into tragedies. When Putin began drafting soldiers to invade Ukraine, millions of youth fled motherland. Lard and odor deplorables who abhor and ignore law and order do no one any favors.

Monday, October 9, 2023

Obscene Sexteyn

Pedaling increases testosterone, which tempts scorchers into trysts for which they might need to atone. Among obese cyclists exploring trails, comely athenas might draw gaze of lonely clydesdales. For clergy, an acolyte or medieval sexteyn could sacrilegiously serve allegedly celibate pastors in sacristies. Bodies are driven by electrical synapses, endocrine hormones, and natural processes to procreate, produce, and seek releases regardless of moralities. Orgasms are a potent analgesic. Only a refined sense of consequence keeps reasonable people from drowning in regrettable pornographies, or endorsing sex trafficking criminalities. Though cracks in affection and fulfillment get filled with anger and resentment, nothing excuses interpersonal malfeasance. Expect to stew excessively in silence.

Johns, junkies, tweakers, and winos vainly volunteer their vulnerabilities to gangsters, murderers, pimps, and politicians, who wrap themselves in national flags and religious vestments. Half of illicit opioids are laced with China white, deadly fentanyl. Being impaired in public certainly doesn’t exonerate felonies but definitely encumbers legal docilities. In-car-cerated doesn’t mean stuck inside your comfy ride, rather you don’t get to pedal a conveyance where you’d like and must hide inside an imaginary shell among depraved predators in a prison hell. Convicts inside are given jobs, so, along with busy monsters hunting outside, get to celebrate Labor Day, which ought to exclude freeloaders and parasites, who make up an increasing portion of US populace. They don’t appreciate that sweat of exertion improves and purifies like nothing else.

However gross, messy, scary or smelly these realities sound, obscene instead describes arresting climate clarion Greta Thunberg and threatening her with a 6 month sentence for protesting Big Oil. So, it’s come down again to condemning youth for speaking truth, who were likewise honest and persecuted in the 1960’s, as history has proven. Conservatives since Nixon fatten upon fossil goo, gun sales, and tax breaks for wealthiest few at the expense of altruism, education, infrastructure improvements, job creation, social programs, and whatever else liberates those whom neocons crave to enslave. With elections looming, they’re condemning nonfiction blogs and books and hiking gasoline prices, economic terrorism they’ve relied upon time and time again.

While alternatives can be half-assed and standardization begets efficiencies, choices matter and deceits boomerang. Much more could be done to promote self propulsion, such as donating unused bicycles to charities, lobbying congress members and state legislators for code enforcement, setting good examples by riding responsibly, and welcoming newcomers of all ages. It’s no hardship dropping off hardware at local bike recyclers or forwarding tax deductible donations to such organizations as:

Bikes for the World - Rockville, MD, USA (99% rating)
Ships used bikes to economically challenged regions worldwide.

Bikes Not Bombs - Boston, MA, USA (82% rating)
Ships used bikes to economically challenged nations in Latin America.

International Bicycle Fund - Seattle, WA, USA
Promotes advocacy and awareness around the world.

Recycle-a-Bike - Providence, RI, USA
Teaches underprivileged teens to rebuild bicycles so they learn marketable skills and wind up with own transportation to work.

Salvation Army - Alexandria, VA (100% rating), plus 15,000 locations in 130 countries
Not only do they welcome drop offs, General Brian Peddle (not Pedal, but close enough), chief executive since 2018, wishes to sell used equipment at rock bottom prices with proceeds going to job therapy for addicts and indigents. What they don’t sell gets passed along periodically to other charities.

Two Wheeler Dealer - Wilmington, NC, USA
If you drop off a unit, they’ll refurbish and donate it for you.

World Bicycle Relief, Chicago, IL (84% rating)
Has donated half a million bicycles to developing countries in Africa and India, as well as taught mechanics how to maintain them. They’ve partnered with Trek and World Vision to support local government efforts.

 A slew of NGOs do nothing but extol bicycling, rather than take a proactive role, such as attend group rides and be seen riding bicycles themselves. Some suddenly close for lack of patronage or scandals over embezzlement. You can gain confidence that those you pick still do worthwhile work by visiting Charity Navigator, which provides contacts, ratings, and specifics.

To be clear, not all people can successfully propel a bicycle, no more than operate a motor vehicle. Less than half of Americans have driver licenses. Both require minimal coordination, intelligence, reflexes, and stamina. To coax those who are deficient is to force failures irresponsibly, though you can’t forever shelter them since they are free to behave responsibly and exercise choices that positively impact self and society. Risks from bad habits, cumulative stress, poor diet, and substance abuse are all more deadly, while bicycling has proven to be a cure and deterrent for all of them. Builders make adaptive handcycles, recumbents, and tricycles for paraplegics and those otherwise challenged, while road users are 20 times safer going by bikes than cars.

E-bikes and pedelecs, essentially light motor vehicles, might not belong on bike paths where speed increase isn’t expected by dog walkers, pedestrians, and unwary users. Want to go faster? Be a faster; abstaining and dieting are world’s cheapest hobbies, whereas international food tourism is the most pricey. Bicycle touring fits budgets; bicycle commuting can cut costs of car ownership tenfold. Sadly ironic, bicycling facilitates motoring by freeing space on streets and postponing oil depletion by using no fuel other than meals.

Surely someone is rushing to set up a defense fund for Greta, as any woke cause is worth exploiting. Private fortunes and public appeals supposedly fund animal rescues, earthquake and hurricane relief, green space rallies, nature conservancies, and several dozen related nonprofits when what really happens is directors enlist volunteers to do dirty work and pocket every donation, while results so far are deforestation, devastation, mass extinction, no improvement or reversal of any condition, the opposite of what they purport. A gift of $1,000/year will save no polar bears or whales without policy changes among the worst national offenders, particularly China and USA. They immorally use your angst, guilt and rage as weapons against you, while you to seek zero carbon footprint on your own.

If majority avoids waste, identifies threats, opposes tyranny, recycles avidly, teaches progeny to do same, and uses only what’s necessary to thrive, nature heals and threats lessen. Don’t wait for God, who’s no fan of ecological suicide, to intervene. You can’t be absolved until you acknowledge trespasses, confess sins, forget debts, and forgive others. Yet you can’t ignore or tolerate audacious actors as they rise to mass murder.

When “Captain Obvious” speaks plainly it invites cancelation, censorship, character assassination, innuendo, rumors, and slander. Enlightenment author Denis Diderot observed, “Those who fear the facts will forever try to discredit the fact-finders,” or as folks escalate nowadays, “Kill the messenger.” Have you ever been subtly shushed by having a topic abruptly changed? Ever accused of “being lost in the weeds” when exploring a fuller picture? Maybe you intended all along to alienate, challenge, frustrate, and separate self from uncaring acquaintances. Even worse, have friends and loved ones had their minds poisoned against you when all you sought was cooperative friendships? You will be ostracized for introducing information beyond scope of current conversation even though everything is part of an interconnected fabric from which universe is made, so always holds relevance to some degree.

Though little good comes from sitting in group meetings, and many dismiss scientific tools as utter mendacity, pareto analysis focuses attention on which influences are the most potent, and what to ignore as butterfly flutter or white noise. One can savor privileges within a web of total delusion; in fact, those who do insulate themselves against public tumult, but someone always pays the price of ignorance. Halfwitted bloggers can make a decent living spouting misinformation and opinion that serve someone’s agenda through advertising, grants, or stipends. QAnon numerologist Michael Protzman attracted nearly one hundred thousand followers by claiming Donald Trump, Elvis Presley, and JFK Jr. were cousins descended from Jesus Christ, until killed this summer in a motorcycle accident.

While Bike&Chain appears articulate and informed, observing behaviors and effects accurately, Labann was never smart enough to rake in a blogger’s average of $38,000/year in revenues, rather incurred net losses and wasted 15 years. No individual can solve life’s issues, only act kindly, be useful, follow laws, pursue nonviolence, and serve needs lest be labeled ludicrous and lose liberties.

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Strike Soudain

Despite Writer Guild of America’s strike, just resolved, and supporting actions by screen actors and such professionals, some feature films and television programs continue to be released, and there are many existing amusements for just about every taste.

British Pathé filmed daily life a century ago leaving relevant clips as these:
Cycle Town, Copenhagen, Denmark (1923)
National Bicycle Week, Hyde Park, London, England (1923)
The Postman (1940)

Misfit teen heroine Moondance Alexander (Michael Damian, dir., 2007), played by Kay Panabaker, rides her pink stepthrough bike for local transportation and on part time store deliveries, which as advertised expands her horizons. She comes upon a pinto horse loose from its paddock. Upon returning it to owner Dante (Don Johnson), he teaches her to jump Checkers in competition, thus getting one over her snotty school nemesis.

The Year Dolly Parton Was My Mom (Tara Johns, dir., 2011) depicts confused preteen Elizabeth Gray (Julia Sarah Stone), who believes the barren Country Western singer is her mother. She tries to ride her banana bike 500 miles from Winnipeg, Manitoba to Minneapolis, Minnesota, where Dolly was scheduled to perform. Her adoptive mom Marion (Macha Grenon) intercepts her at the US border and tosses her bike off a cliff. Bittersweet but contrived, closest Dolly ever came to appearing near there was Madison, Wisconsin in 1976.

In feature film Barbie (Greta Gerwig, dir., 2023), Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling) dotes on Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) admidst an idealized matriarchal society, content to play stoker on her tandem. Eventually, Ken dolls rebel and seek patriarchal power until female dolls get them to fight among themselves.

No Hard Feelings (Gene Stupnitsky, dir., 2023) has desperate escort Maddie (Jennifer Lawrence) hired by anxious parents to seduce their reluctant son Percy (Andrew Barth Feldman). She tempts him every way she knows how, including stuffing his bicycle in the back of a van while kidnapping him.

Florence Pugh plays A Good Person (Zach Braff, dir., 2023) cursed with bad luck. Fiddling with smartphone navigator, she crashes into a roadside excavator injuring self and killing her finacé. After a long recovery. she's hooked on opioids and rides a BMX instead of driving.

Grim documentary Amber (Elizabeth Fisher, dir., 2023) delves into unsolved mystery of Amber Rene Hagerman’s disappearance. This 9 year old left home in Arlington Texas on her bicycle only to be found dead 4 days later. Outcry resulted in the so-named Amber Alert System that since has saved lives of over a thousand children.

Because majority views television for events reporting and serial entertainment, effect of WGA strike has been to afford fascist news a free pass to spread lies with too little to counter and expose. Most networks don't incite violence and issue hate speech with relentless enthusiasm. Unbalanced agitation leads to division, terrorism, and treason among disturbed individuals and splinter groups they target. Rupert’s daily assault upon the democracy he loathes doesn’t need guild writers, isn’t scripted, and solicits few advertisers, since they can sustain attack through corporate agendas and private patronage.

How can you stop their 24/7 barrage validated by resultant hate and murder they themselves provoked like some self fulfilling prophecy? You'll never assess degree of damage done to democracy over 146 days of unchallenged opinions. Once late night commentators begin to return next week will anyone notice balance restored?

Is there any point in complaining when narcissists revel in your anguish? Every appeal to fairness just feeds their twisted needs and fortifies their sociopathies. For them schadenfreude is a favored sport. Publishing articles and speaking up publicly confines your arguments to a past that nobody wants to relive, while perpetrators commit new conspiracies nobody wants to admit to being so gullible to allow themselves to be hoodwinked and victimized by.

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Slipstream Belain

“The idea of being a ‘serious' cyclist still strikes me as a bit funny. After all, riding is fun.” Bill Chappell, NPR. Really? Cyclists often compare prepping equipment to packing a parachute. Must take in conditions, speeds, terrains, and traffic on rides.

There’s no upside to revealing what’s inside. Despite scriptophobia arising from messenger blame and undeserved shame, no writer can quit confessing, describing, exposing, or expressing what they’ve absorbed through social osmosis belain in this historical slipstream of 130 billion human predecessors while hurtling along hypersonic information currents.

To achieve her new cycling speed record of 296.01 kmh (183.932 mph), Denise Mueller-Korenek took to Utah’s Bonneville Salt Flats, towed behind a jet vehicle, until her giant chain gear bicycle could be pedaled. Drafting behind a fairing, and following thousands of predecessors, she currently stands alone, under conditions few would ever have an opportunity to duplicate or want to. Going so fast for only a moment? Recall someone who nearly doubled that speed racing down a volcano slope. What about elapsed unassisted point to point maximum? A century ago 6-day velodrome racers were happy to lead field and take home a payday. So many conditional records! Why risk certain death for pride marred by an asterisk?

Do none know when end will come? Some receive dire prognoses that specify, though could be wrong by decades. Often worry that riding alongside petroleum exhaust will expose lungs to those 450 carginogens found in fuels. Diesel fumes can trigger fatal asthma. Increasing traffic on unfriendly roads means instant fatalities are ever present. Probably 99% of conspiracy theories are paranoid fantasies that choose familiar comforts and deny painful truths. Worrying about unlikely stuff diverts you from ascertaining actual facts and wastes your time on earth.

What constitutes a life? They falsely say, when all is said and done, more will be said than done. They undervalue commonplace actions, commuting, cooking, eating, gardening, metabolizing, preparing, producing, reflecting, reading, respiring, shopping, sleeping, web surfing, and working, which quietly consume most of your time alive. You hardly get to speak aloud with little incentive to converse with yourself other than mentally. Life is a series of preparations for moments that never arrive alongside catastrophes and tragedies thrust unavoidably upon you. Wise weather whatever adversity overwhelms workers and worrywarts.

Count your blessings this July 4th. While every other national holiday celebrates some celebrity, event, group, or hero, on this those united rejoice The Four Freedoms - from tyranny and want, of religion and speech - ratified by UN and USA as the cornerstone of fairness and justice. But is it just an illusion? It's the perfect time to evaluate by hitting streets on a freedom machine. A billion people go by bike to absorb free vitamin D, avoid traffic, blast flab, boost mood, breathe fresh air, build muscle, buy confidence, cut costs, exercise mind, explore surroundings, extend life, meet locals, thumb nose at automotive paradigm and unexamined conventions, and transport self through space/time. But terrorists and tyrants want to dominate and intimidate, and steal your transportation independence through random gun violence sanctioned by congressional greed and corrupt policies.

Nam June Paik may have coined phrase “electronic superhighway” during 1970’s, but has internet fostered a homogenous or smarter population? Ironically, more facts mean fragmentism, normalization of lies, overthrow of consensus, polarization of politics, and reactions based on too few truths. Before 2000, David Bowie called Internet “the new rock and roll”, and predicted its potential will be unimaginable, “as exhilarating and terrifying as an alien lifeform.”

More humans have died from traffic accidents in last 100 years - considered the bloodiest stretch in history - than soldiers in wars. There's an easy remedy: Deny, revoke or suspend licenses. Any applicant who can't pass an operator test and psyche evaluation shouldn't be driving (or purchasing guns for that matter). It's no imposition: Cities and states provide bike lanes, busses, sidewalks, subways, and trains, all cheaper than owning a motor vehicle, even subsidize bike own/share programs, though controversial among neocons and taxpayers. New Yorkers commute by bike making over 100,000 trips daily, or take taxies or Uber, thereby enjoying plenty of alternatives. Recidivist DUI, OUI, and traffic offenders demonstrate they have diddly capacity to learn civic duties without more drastic measures. Unlike biking, jogging and walking, driving isn’t an inalienable right, but a licensed privilege. Motor pirates and proscribed drivers can already be given jail sentences, though seldom are.

You’d think that side streets with 4-way stops at every intersection would be safer than main avenues with relentless traffic, but you’d be wrong, since so many motorists disobey speed limits and traffic controls where they think nobody notices. Aggression, impatience, and scofflaw defiance are symptoms of sociopathy. 

“[Bicycling’s] like being a bird flying in a sky filled with airplanes: the deafening roar of their engines, their impossible speed, the cruelty of steel, the inescapable menace, the looming sense of catastrophe, your own little wings flapping in silence while theirs slice thunderously.” Jill Lepore, “Bicycles Have Evolved. Have We?The New Yorker, May, 2022

Peloton, racers, time-trialers, and triathletes compulsively share a need for speed. Look at peloton's furious pace averaging 35 mph during last 10 miles of Etape 4 of Tour. Behooves long distance riders to recall Vélocio’s (Paul de Vivie) Seven Randonneuse Commandments:
1. Take infrequent short stops, so as not to break momentum.
2. Light and frequent meals: Eat before feeling hungry, drink before feeling thirsty.
3. Never go so far as to reach abnormal fatigue, which results in lack of appetite and sleep.
4. Cover before getting cold, disrobe before getting hot, and don't be afraid to expose skin to air, sun, or water.
5, While riding, abstain from meat, tobacco, and wine.
6. Stay within your means, especially early when tempted to force yourself because you feel strong.
7. Never pedal expecting to build self-esteem; remain humble.

And keep your knees in, not flailing out and wasting force. If you consider such advice generally ignored by champions, you’re already a “cicli-junkie” in need of obsession therapy. It’s never just a weekend century, but several days a week of endurance training building up to each randonneur event. Don’t these ring wraiths have wage slave jobs to preclude perpetual practice?

Sarina Tomchin, an endurance athlete of over 100 duathlon, triathlon, and ultra trail running competitions, is the artist/designer/founder of Cycology, a Sydney, Australia based global business selling “cychedelic” cycling apparel online to over 80 countries. Cycology is the name of more than a dozen local bike shops patronized by cycoholics. Also in on this wordplay, Cyclopath Cycling Syndicate shop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, retails likewise exotic apparel.

The Last Rider (Alex Holmes, dir., 2023) chronicles champion Greg LeMond's nadir year (shotgun victim) and storied Tour de France comeback in 1989, his second of three general classification wins of the July Classic, yet again in progress. To date, Lemond is the last and only American accredited to have won. The director met the retired champion during production of Stop at Nothing (Alex Holmes, dir., 2014) , about now-disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong, “a man who set out to destroy anyone who questioned his reputation," so made another documentary that instead casts a positive light on cycling heroics. Why is there no statue of Lemond, who made his presence known when they unveiled Major Taylor’s Memorial in Worcester, Massachusetts? France erected one to the late twice winner Laurent Fignon, the competitor Lemond beat.

Tour de France: Unchained (Jamie Batten, dir., 2023), aka Tour de France: Au cœur du peloton [Inside the peloton], is a French language, English subtitled, Netflix series released this June. Both were timed, obviously, to promote interest in world’s biggest spectator event attracting up to fifteen million fans, since free to public, and viewership on broadcasts of one hundred and fifty million. NFL Superbowl sells less than one hundred thousand tickets, though viewership exceeds one hundred million. FIFA World Cup Football draws up to three million spectators, except when hosted in a desert state, though once set a record for viewership at one and a half billion.

"After a long day on my bicycle, I feel refreshed, cleansed, purified. I feel that I have established contact with my environment and that I am at peace. On days like that I am permeated with a profound gratitude for my bicycle. Even if I did not enjoy riding, I would still do it for my peace of mind." Paul de Vivie, cyclotouriste and publisher of Le Cycliste

“There comes a time in every little girl's life when her momma says, ‘Girl, do your best, [be]cause one day you may come to find that all of your life has been a wicked ride.’” Melody Gardot, Wicked Ride, Some Lessons, 2006

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Picky Balletomane

Bicycle Day’s 80th Anniversary Poster depicts late cosmic and prolific guitar picker Jerry “Captain Trips” Garcia who had a dominant compositional hand in over 100 albums and 450 songs by The Grateful Dead alone. B&C lists a dozen songs that celebrate April 19th, 1943, the day biochemist Albert Hoffman first dosed himself with LSD and rode home by bicycle gingerly.

Recording a song and releasing to world for free can be a cheap ticket, lawn dart, long shot, or low road to upstart infamy. Pandering to base instincts and hormonal urges will always attract indiscriminate consumers, whereas only a balletomane or critic can appreciate choreography and compositions presented from deep thought, diligent practice, and drop dead talent. Consequently, more chunks of coal exist than multi-caret diamonds, while outputs of consequence get buried beneath payloads of nonsense.

You get to vote which is which among another 5 dozen newly identified tunes directly related to bicycling, most recently released. Surprises how few of them reference e-bikes, which have grown in popularity over last 2 decades, and how many unique titles continue to emerge, as if composers and musical groups had no clue 3,000 others already covered similar emotions and experiences. Would have posted this before Tax Day had not examples kept appearing; probably ought to keep monitoring sources. How many click tracks and glitch beats are needed to capture a clacking chain, dancing derailleur, or whirring wheel?

Alexey Marti, Bicycle [jazz], Travesia, self, 2017

Animal Portraits, Bicycle, Young Mothers EP, 374731 Records DK, 2018

Arno Schubert, Bicycle [hip-hop], single, RNO Records, 2020

BLERTA (Geoff Murphy), Bicycle Song, The Return Trip [soundtrack], EMI Music, 2004; begun in 1970 as Bruno Lawrence Electric Revelation and Traveling Apparition, and compiled in 1976, these humorous short stories and songs chronicle group’s tour of New Zealand.

Calypso Rose, The Bicycle [Trinidad folk], Calypso Rose, Ra, 1968

Contact Lens, Bicycle, Silos, 699663 Records DK, 2020

David Gibb, Rusty Bicycle, Pedal Onwards, Little Seeds Music, 2022; “Rusty bicycle, left out in the rain... grease those gears, oil that chain, else you’re not going to get to ride that bike again.”

Demian Feriy, Bicycle [eam], I, self, 2012

DJ Mahoutsukai feat. Hana Mari, Saki Ibuki, Anzu Kojima & Shino Kuroki, By Bicycle [techno], By Bicycle Ep, simasima, 2023

Dom Whiting, Drum and Bass on the Bike, DJ event videos since 2021

Elias Caldwell, Bicycle [synth], Iridescent, [self], 2023

Eliot Park, Bicycle, Just Be, self, 2018; “Birthday present, oh, what a dream! Shiny red with a sparkly seat. and I can go about a-hundred-and-three on my B-I-C-Y-C-L-E. Saturday, oh, what a day! Rolling down the road through the sun and the shade, no training wheels, no siree... I’m the king of the road on my bicycle, bicycle. Yippee ki-yay, and away we go.”

Ezra Fike, Bicycle, Alphabet Pie, self, 2017

Gerald Taucher. E-bike [Austrian], Zwischen Domois & Heit, self, 2022

Giancarlo Scalzi, Bicycle, Missing Pieces of Scoundrel Rocco, Dimetric Sounds, 2013

Gidiboyy, Bicycle, Gidiboyy Lomo 2, 3666843 Records DK, 2022

HÅN & Killowen, Bicycle [alternative], projections on a human screen, self, 2021

Harlem Yu, Bicycle, The Moonlight That Can’t Be Turned Off, Mandopop, 2013

Indian Summer Jars, feat. Sarah Fiore, Ragbrai, Heart Rock, self, 2014

Janet Blair, Bicycle, Over Under, self, 2020; “Life’s no game of chicken, that bird just doesn’t fly. Love is seeing ours not mine. It’s kinda like the pedals on my child’s bicycle. The pedals lock beneath your feet, you try to make them go. To move the bike along, one of those pedals must come low, snd start the forward cycle: confess, repent, grow.”

John Colleoni, Bicycle (Rev Tribal) [Italian techno], Retrosynthwave, Italian Way Music, 2022

JooJoo, Bicycle Day [acid dark techno], Darkprog Mixtape, self, 2022

Joy Lewis, Bicycle, single, Gabbiani Records, 2021

Keezy, Bicycle [hip-hop], single, self, 2018

Lea Miller, Jr, Bicycle [piano instrumental], In Tenda Nel Bosco [In a Tent in the Woods], Sunshine Music Records, 2021

Lions of the Interstate, Bicycle, Hug Point + Death / Love, self, 2019

Liquor Bike, various titles [post-punk], Neon Hoop Ride, Grass Records, 1994
Liquor Bike, Pavements And Sidewalks, Lowborne, Merkin Records, 1993
A “liquor bike” according to urban slang is any conveyance one uses after losing license to operate a motor vehicle.

Lonnie Park, Bicycle Day [juvenile], My Earth Songs, self, 2020; meant to encourage children to ride ecologically to school in support of UNICEF, so not an LSD reference.

Macbeth, Bicycles [Italian metal in English], Vanitas, Art Music Group, 2002; “Service is suspended, Service shall resume. Service running late again... Cities got new friends that the cities really cared. The looks are trifle shifty, and they’re not about to change. ‘Cos no one likes what they are not, and slowly we're strange, and everyone's buying bicycles. Not the bus, bicycles; Not the train, bicycles.”

Margo Lauritzen, Bicycle [indie alternative], She’s a Scientist, self, 2020; “A bicycle is very nice and you should try it once or twice. A bicycle is very cool; if it breaks you can fix it with bike tools. A bicycle is very clean, it keeps our trees and gardens green. A bicycle is very neat, see them gliding down the street! Bicycle, Bicycle, Bicycle!”

Markus Nikolaus, Bicycle Day [psychedelia], The Acid Kids, Porzellan Bar, 2021; influences include riding a bicycle under LSD during COVID lockdown in downtown Berlin. “But baby, we can be as good as new. Take some acid, take some truth. Take my heart, it’s all for you. Let’s take it back. Going with the bike all day, Bicycle Day; let’s take it back.”

Marwin Fetwig, Bicycle [eam], Secrets, UBM Records, 2022

Masaya Yanagi, Bicycle [jazz], single, self, 2021

Michael Cassady & Paul Rust, RAGBRAI, Don’t Stop or We’ll Die, self, 2022

Midichlorian, Bicycle Day 2023 [synth & spoken word], The Slow Ride, self, 2023

Mr. MoJo, Bicycle Day [dubstep], Bicycle Day Mix 2022, self, 2022

Nancy Kopman, Bicycle [juvenile], The Seasons, self, 2013

Oneul, Do exercise! (Bicycle) [instrumental], Cosy Piano Music, self, 2021

Oolong, Bicycle Day [explicit punk], Edema Ruh split EP, self, 2022; “Finally, biking. Hoping for better things, I won’t even say it... Feel like there’s something with the beat in the air; I’ll follow.”

OV, Otomo Bikes [techno], Figs Compilation, Future Times, 2019

Pavel Dobeš, Bicykle [Czech], K svatku, Parlophone, 2001; “My baby has a bi-bicycle and rides like the wind... She has a bi-bicycle and I have a bi-bicycle. We both ride like the wind.”

Pedro Coudsi, Bicycle [eam], Bicycle, Dreamhop Music, 2022

pijama land, Bicycle, Léopard, Sonder House, 2023

Refeeld, Bicycle [English jazz instrumental], Sunny Weekend, self, 2021

Revival Now!, I Ride My Bike in the Rain, At the First Revelationiest Project, Arkam Records, 2016

Robert Pletzer, E-Bike Song - KitzBühel [Austrian folk], video single, self, 2018

Self Made Man, Bicycle [Swedish], Lust Garden, Heartwork Records, 1990

Soleil Rouge, Bicycle [synth], Evolving, 2022

Sukisha. Bicycle [J-pop in Japanese], Beside Your Bedside, self, 2019

Swanky, Bicycle Day [synth], 1943, self, 2023

The Falderals, Bicycle [folk], Love Everything, self, 2019

The Gray Goo, Bicycle Day [psychedelic doom funk], 1943, self, 2022; single track bicyclists from Montana open their debut album with 10 minutes of heavy vibe a bit reminiscent of Mogwai, Hunted by a Freak.

The Penelopes, Bicycle [synth], SpaceBoy [soundtrack], Pour Le Monde, 2021

The Singing Lizard, Bicycle [juvenile], Make Believe, AlphaBeat Records, 2014

Timothy Eerie, Bicycle, Ritual, Nomad Eel Records, 2019

Tom San Filippo, Bicycle Day, single, self, 2023; “The genie's out of the bottle; explain I cannot till my words and my mind stop to soar. Reality shattered, and from here, ever after, perception has opened her doors. Dear Mrs Hoffman, there’s been a problem…”

Trachta (Francis Trachta), Bicycle, Differences, self, 2012

Trophy Jump, Bicycle [Croatian in English], Haphazard, Horn & Hoof Records, 2019; “Dominik once said that he would beat a bike thief dead; that’s the only person that he would murder. Must be really sad to lose your two-wheeled friend to a guy that's definitely not worth her. What kind of person you must be to steal some stranger's property, especially if you steal a bicycle, then you must be the worst dude in the world.”

Wurmy Wormfield (Charles Herman-Wurmfeld) & friends, Bicycle Day [juvenile], fangtasia music, 2021

Xdinary Heroes, Bicycle [K-pop], video, JYP Entertainment, 2023

You Anin, Bicycle [techno], Inside, self, 2018


Thursday, May 25, 2023

Word Spokane

Spokane, a city in Washington State in nation's Northwest, has a sense of whimsy. Someopne risked death or serious injury to install a bicycle, properly wired down, high on an abondoned concrete pier smack dab in Spokane River late last year, leaving residents to speculate as to its installaton and intention. Need life be more mysterious than it is already?

Scenes of gentle folk bicycling pepper biopic Jesus Revolution (Jon Erwin & Brent McCorkle, dirs., 2023). Lonnie Frisbee (Jonathan Roumie) changes minds and inspires hope when his hippie ideals get applied in church of Pastor Greg Laurie (Kelsey Grammer). Edgar Winter Group’s Free Ride (1972) naturally fits film score: “I've come here to give you a hand, and lead you into the promised land. So, come on and take a free ride... We gotta do better, it's time to begin. You know all the answers must come from within.” Dramatizes Jesus Freak Movement that coexisted alongside Disco/Drug Inferno of early 1970’s.

Lifetime Network's original film Every Breath She Takes (Darin Scott, dir., 2023) has bicyclist Jules Baker (Tamala Jones) falling for a suave lover, Billy (Brian White). Once married, her savage husband physically and verbally abuses her, so she files for divorce. Crazy to reconcile, stalker Billy sets their home on fire and succumbs in flames. Or does he?

Vraylar Spot has a bipolar bicyclist who buys a child seat at a bike shop, gets a box of cookies at a bakery, then picks up her son from school riding throughout.



Boy scouts bike about in The Fabelmans (Steven Spielberg, dir., 2022), an autobiographical look at director's teen years. Lends personal authenticity to similar scenes in his blockbusters, like E.T. 

Upgrade.com Spot “Bike Shop: Triple Cash Back” (July, 2022), has a couple discussing merits of buying an e-bike as opposed to continuing to ride their debt donkey.

Twicycle has handlebars that its rider can crank to propel bike along with tradition leg twitches.

On Her Own (Fabienne Engel, dir., 2022) documents how Wiebke Lühmann took a month off to go bikepacking 3,500 km solo and unsupported from Hamburg, Germany to North Cape, Norway during height of summer in 2022. On one hand it looked more like winter above Arctic Circle along a gorgeous but rainy route. On other, almost no traffic meant zero human hassles while honking 120 km per 12 hour day, then hunkering against weather overnight.


Carmen (Valerie Buhagiar, dir., 2021) has title character (Natascha McElhone) evicted from church rectory, where she spent her life from teenage as a maid for her brother, a recently deceased pastor of a small Maltese church. Finally free, she embarks on a series of adventures, including learning to ride a bicycle, and surviving by irreverent and unexpected means.

In his Emmy winning documentary Paper and Glue (JR, dir., 2021) humanistic French artist JR celebrates ordinary people and chooses California’s Tehachapi Supermax Prison as another intimate space to plaster giant images on paper producing a collage of incarcerated felons and their families as members of an interconnected society.

Based on Mitali Perkins’s young adult novel, Bangladeshi drama Rickshaw Girl (Amitabh Reza Chowdhury, dir., 2021) introduces feisty teen muralist Naima (Novera Rahman). After her cyclo pedaling father gets injured, mother sends her to a big city to earn money and help family. To escape domestic servitude, she disguises herself as a boy and follows in father’s footsteps as a rickshaw operator. Naima’s creativity doesn’t quit as she still decorates rickshaw and paints murals. Will her emergence as an artist save her?

After most of humanity is wiped out, Elle Fanning happens upon a town’s sole survivor, Peter Dinklage. I Think We’re Alone Now (Reed Morano, dir., 2018) covers his obsession to bury victims and clean their homes while pocketing valuable resources, particularly batteries. She bikes around contentedly and doesn’t tell him that there are thousands of survivors still living nearby, until a couple who had enslaved her show up to reclaim her.

Parolee Chris Connelly (Jay Duplass) goes for a bike ride with Hildy Beasley (Kaitlyn Dever) after her mom Carol rejects his romantic advances in Canadian indie film Outside In (Lynn Shelton, dir., 2017).

In 1940 on day in question, April 9th (Roni Ezra, dir., 2015), mustered Danish reserve soldiers ask why they were called up, but suspect it’s because Germans were seen gathering at their border. Unit is sent south on bicycles to hold off invaders until reinforcements arrive.

Invisible Sue (Matkus Dietrich, dir., 2012) and her BMX boyfriend ride e-bikes to search for her kidnapped mom.

Stewart Parker’s Spokesong [Dublin, 1975] is about religious warfare between Catholics and Protestants that has kept this poet/playwright’s homeland, North of Ireland, a battleground for previous 5 decades. While not a musical, a chorus figure, called the Trick Cyclist, who embodies the spirit of Belfast, sings most of its songs. Action takes place in a local bike shop, which among many once solicited sales by employing stunt riders.

Yesteryear’s great black superstar Marshall “Major” Taylor began his record setting career doing exactly that while wearing a military uniform, thus the nickname, in his native city of Indianapolis, before enticed to race by a shop back east, hence also known as “The Worcester Whirlwind”.